words in movies
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Chandler: Okay. (Pause) You wont believe what Monicas older brother just said to me!
Monica: Well, so far I have uh, my brides maids dresses wont get picked up, my veil gets lost, or I dont have my something blue.
Joey: (entering) Hey! You guys! Remember that audition I had a while ago and didnt get the part?
Monica: Wait! Wait! Wait! You cant start today! Todays the rehearsal dinner!
Joey: Wow! I cant believe this! This is incredible. I mean you just won an Oscar!
Richard: No I didnt.
The Director: (approaching) Okay! Were about an hour away from getting the scene lit. So uh, if you guys dont mind, can we run it a couple of times?
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
Monica: (laughs) I dont have anything like that, but let me go see if Rachel does.
Monica: I just, I cant believe that we made it!
Chandler: Well you dont have to sound so surprised.
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
Mr. Geller: I didnt even have a chance to act as though Im okay with it!
Mr. Bing: Yes! Although, I think we may be seeing a little too much of some people. Arent you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Mrs. Bing: Dont you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
Rachel: Yeah! But I dont know what he looks like!
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
Ross: (going up to Rachels closed door) Chandler? (He opens the door and looks inside and doesnt see him.) Chandler? (He checks the bathroom and still doesnt find him. He then finds a note on the counter. He picks it up and reads it.)
Phoebe: Dont be so negative! Good God! Isnt it possible that Sorry is sitting in there (Joey and Rachels apartment) right now?!
Phoebe: (pointing at Ross) Okay but if you dont find him and bring him back, I am gonna hunt you down and kick your ass!
Richard: Thats what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)
Joey: (wiping face) Wow! Didnt know that.
Gunther: No. No, I havent seen him.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Dont worry. Everythings fine. Well uh, well see you tomorrow at the wedding.
Gunther: I wasnt invited.
Joey: No! No! I cant! You gotta get me out of it! Ive got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)
Monica: (entering from her room, excitedly) Im getting married today!!! (She trips and falls.) (Getting up) I think I just cracked a rib. But I dont care because todays my wedding day! My day is finally here!! (Runs back into her room.)
Rachel: God! DontWe cant let her start getting ready! This is too awful! Oh God, but wait shell be in the gown and then he wont show up and then shes gonna have to take off the gown
Phoebe: Shhh! Stop it! Stop it Rachel! You cant do this here! (She drags her into the bathroom.)
Phoebe: Yeah, but youve got to pull yourself together! Monica cant see you like this! Then shell know somethings wrong!
Rachel: Oh God I just can not imagine what is gonna happen if Chandler doesnt show up!
Phoebe: There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and its positive. Monicas pregnant. (Rachel covers her mouth.) So I guess she wont be totally alone.
Ross: No! I talked to Joey on the set, he hasnt heard from him. I-I-I talked to Chandlers parents again!
Ross: No! Hey! Hey! We cant!
Ross: Well, cant you at least stall her a little? Ill-Ill go back to some of the places I went last night.
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
Joey: Yeah, I-I just made up the stuff about the wedding because I didnt want you to worry about me. But, Im having surgery today.
Ross: Shes fine. She doesnt know youre gone. And she doesnt have to know, okay? Now come on, were going home.
Chandler: No! No! No! I cant do that!
Chandler: Because if I go home, were gonna become the Bings! I cant be the Bings!
Chandler: Its not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybodys! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And Ive met me; I am not Paul Newman. I dont race cars! I dont make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity.
Ross: Yknow, okay. Youre right. It is huge. So why dont we take it just a little bit at a time? Okay? Umm, forget getting married for a sec; just forget about it. Can you just come home and take a shower?
Monica: I cant go to lunch!!
Rachel: We cant find Chandler (Phoebe sticks her head and motions that they found Chandler)s vest. We cant find Chandlers vest.
Phoebe: (entering) Found the vest! I mean were gonna have to keep an eye on it, yknow make sure we dont lose it again
Monica: Oh wow! Okay. Dont scare me like that okay? I mean for a minute there I was like, "Oh my God! The worst has happened!"
Joey: I know! Im sorry! The guys drunk, they wont let me go until we get this.
Joey: Hey! Dont you hang up on me! Ill marry you and me right now! I have the power!
Ross: There you go. You put on a tuxedo! Now that wasnt so scary, was it?
Phoebe: Okay. Oh but dont tell them Monicas pregnant because, they frown on that.
The Rabbi: I dont know. Are they Greek Orthodox?
Mr. Geller: You cant ask us son, thats cheating.
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Mrs. Bing: Honey, it isnt good luck.
Ross: Great. Hes doing great. Dont you worry about Chandler.
Monica: Oh thats sweet. Dont touch me.
Richard: You wouldnt happen to have a very big fork?
Chandler: You dont know?
Ross: Know whatIf somebody doesnt tell me whats going on right now
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
Phoebe: Well you obviously didnt see Chucky 3.
Ross: Ive never walked down the aisle knowing it cant end in divorce.
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Monica: Chandler, for so long I I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that Id ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you dont want to. You go!
Monica: I didnt take a pregnancy test.
Rachel: I dont know. I know I dont work late tomorrow night.
Rachel: Dont!! (Joey backs away frightened.) (To Jill) Honey, what are you doing here?!
Ross: Now wait a minute, you be nice! All right? I didnt bring you here so you can ambush her.
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. (sees Kate is watching, he turns Lauren so that he can talk directly to Kate, but still look like he is talking to Lauren) Listen, I ah, I gotta say good bye, and-and I gotta say it quick cause this is killing me. One thing you gotta know, is that I will never forget you. But, youve got things you have to do now, and so do I. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne, baby, Im gonna want to meet her.
Ross: Yeah, thats the one. Listen, I dont want to hurt her.
Ross: It didnt.
Leslie: No, no, I dont want to forget it.
Phoebe: Hey, why dont you?
Phoebe: Yeah I know. Isnt it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
Monica: I dont know.
Ginger: Oh, dont worry about it.
Rachel: Come on, its a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasnt smoked since.
Joey: Youre right. Maybe I shouldnt even go on the call back.
Phoebe: Excuse me, I dont want Greg and Jennys rejects.
(Ross isnt happy and closes the door slowly.)
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
Mr. Geller: All-right fine, but I just want to say, Im not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it werent for us, cheap little man. (Emilys stepmum looks shocked. Jack and Judy get up and leave.)
Alice: (shocked) Oh! Oh! Oh! Thank you so much! You dont know what this means to us! Oh!
Rachel: Well, it doesnt sound like it! I mean, its pretty easy not to kiss someone, you just dont kiss them! See look at us, right now, not kissing!
Ross: Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I dont care, (To Rachel) because you got the apartment. Yes!
Rachel: Oh please, theyve been going out a week. They havent even slept together yet, I mean, thats not serious.
Joey: So thats why I feed my dog Purina One! Pick up a bag today! (He turns, looks at the bag and realizes he wont be able to pick it up.)
Joey: You couldnt do it?!
Chandler: No!! You cant!!
Ross: Can�t hold her own head up, but yeah jumped.
Rachel: I cant do this.
Woman: Mine havent been so bad. Oh! Here comes one now. (Hums then squeals a little bit.) Oh, that was a big one!
Phoebe: Yeah, isnt it fantastic?
Ross: Really? Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Chandler: (loud) Ken, please! No, I can�t, I can�t smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kill me.
Phoebe: It isnt?
Dina: Look, Rachels told me how much easier youve made all this on her. Why cant you do that for me?
Chandler: Is there any chance you didnt see that?
Joey: (to Ross) Why cant I find that?
Chandler: You know, once youre inside, you dont have to knock any more.
Cecilia: Oh no-no-no-no, being adored. Im used to it, dont worry about it.
Chandler: I just get mad when Rachel doesnt remember where were going.
Phoebe: You didnt say Boutros Boutros Gali.
Chandler: Because you shouldnt be with him. (Pause.) You should be with me.
Joey: I want this part so much! Yknow? If I dont get this part Im never gonna eat Macaroni and Cheese again!No, I didnt say that! Thats a lie.
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!
Phoebe: Awe, this is so sweet of you! But you know what? I won’t be needing a veil, I actually won’t be wearing a dress at all!
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
Janice: I dont know.
Joey: I dont know.
Monica: All right, that Ill retract. But I stand by my review, I know food and that wasnt it. Youre marinara sauce tasted like tomato juice! You should serve it with vodka and a piece of celery.
Monica: Well, why dont we just bunny up.
Paul: Oh Rachel, Im so sorry. I didnt mean to overwhelm you. Its just that, when those gates open, you (Starts to breakdown.) Hard to close em. But they are closed now. Believe me.
Joanna: Dont spoil it.
Monica: Havent you and I covered that topic?
Joey: Oh yes I do. Otherwise whats next? Today Im just a guy who cant finish a turkey, but tomorrow Im the guy who eats half a Powerbar, wraps up the rest, and puts in the fridge? No! No, I just I justI gotta change my pants. (Gets up and heads for the door.) Jeans have no give. (Exits.)
Ross: Oh yeah, shes-shes amazing. And-and shes so much fun. And! Yknow what? When Im with her, Im fun! I even signed up for helicopter classes. (Chandler is shocked.) Shes leaving in two days, I dont have to do it.
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Joanna: It was, wasnt it?
Joanna: Wasnt it?
Monica: Id like to have Don and Phoebe over. Wouldnt that be nice?
Chandler: No. I mean I believe that uh, certain people are more suited for each other and I believe in falling in love, but soul mates, I dont think they exist.
Teacher: Im sorry, I didnt get... Susan is?
Rachel: Y'know I dont, I dont understand guys, I mean I-I would never congratulate Monica on a great stew by y'know, grabbin her boob.
Chandler: You dont think I get up when you get up?
Chandler: Y'know what this is like? This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesnt try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts.
Monica: Ross, if you dont tell them, then I will!
Chandler: I think youll find if I come to work here, I dont micro-manage. I dont shy away from delegating.
Phoebe: But I cant tell you.
Rachel: Since when, since when do you think I dont wear enough of this?
Monica: Youre so pathetic! Why cant you just accept it, were winning because Im better than you.
Chandler: I dont believe it. The most romantic night of my life and Im runner up.
Kate: It doesnt say that in the script.
Phoebe: I cant!!
Monica: I justI cant believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.
Monica: Look, not that I enjoy talking about people who I went to high school with, cause I do, but umm, maybe we could talk about something else? Like you, I dont even know where you work?
Rachel: I dont know. I dont know how I feel. This is all happening so fast. I have to make all these decisions that I dont want to make. (Takes another sip of champagne and spits it back out) Somebody just take this away from me!!
Monica: I dont want a ghost.
Joey: Havent you ever read the same book over and over again?
Rachel: Ross, why didnt you tell me that?
Older Scientist: Im Andrew, and I didnt pay for this pear.
Monica: Come on! It wasnt that bad!
Monica: Look at me! My big concern is whats real?! (Finally realises) Oh my God. Were really sad, arent we?
Man: Umm, no, I dont think so.
Joey: I-I wasnt in that.
Monica: Okay ah, please dont freak out. Umm, but ah, theres a blue fingernail in one of the quiche cups, and theres no way to know which one.
Joey: No, they-they werent in the play.
Joey: Sure! As long as they dont find out you can keep whatever you want! And I want you to have it.
Chandler: Oh! Thats great, they havent seen the place since I moved in!
Monica: I-I-Im sorry, your-your mouth was full, I didnt hear what you said. Umm, hats off to who now?
Joey: What?! I dont have 20,000!
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Rachel: You dont?!
Ross: Okay, Jasmine, please, please dont. I love my girlfriend very much, and I want more than anything to just work it out with her. Okay?
Chandler: Ross, dont. Ross!
Gunther: Oh, like you dont already have everything.
Ross: If she is where you are then uh then my feeling weird about it shouldnt stand in the way.
Tommy: Yeah, but you didnt.
Joey: Dont interrupt me when Im talkin to God! Now where were we? Oh right, okay. Do you Dina, take this man
Ross: (To Rachel, standing by her feet) I dont know why you cant admit that you need me.
Chandler: Oh, give her the deposit! Give her the ring! I dont care!
Rachel: Yeah, at the lecture, I told you that last week, you said you didnt mind.
Chandler: Okay! (He grabs his carryon and starts rummaging through it.) Oh man! Dont tell me I did this!
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Ross: Yeah and he didnt really ask for you, he asked for Chancy, I assumed he meant you.