words in movies
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Chandler: Okay. (Pause) You wont believe what Monicas older brother just said to me!
Monica: Well, so far I have uh, my brides maids dresses wont get picked up, my veil gets lost, or I dont have my something blue.
Joey: (entering) Hey! You guys! Remember that audition I had a while ago and didnt get the part?
Monica: Wait! Wait! Wait! You cant start today! Todays the rehearsal dinner!
Joey: Wow! I cant believe this! This is incredible. I mean you just won an Oscar!
Richard: No I didnt.
The Director: (approaching) Okay! Were about an hour away from getting the scene lit. So uh, if you guys dont mind, can we run it a couple of times?
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
Monica: (laughs) I dont have anything like that, but let me go see if Rachel does.
Monica: I just, I cant believe that we made it!
Chandler: Well you dont have to sound so surprised.
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
Mr. Geller: I didnt even have a chance to act as though Im okay with it!
Mr. Bing: Yes! Although, I think we may be seeing a little too much of some people. Arent you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Mrs. Bing: Dont you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
Rachel: Yeah! But I dont know what he looks like!
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
Ross: (going up to Rachels closed door) Chandler? (He opens the door and looks inside and doesnt see him.) Chandler? (He checks the bathroom and still doesnt find him. He then finds a note on the counter. He picks it up and reads it.)
Phoebe: Dont be so negative! Good God! Isnt it possible that Sorry is sitting in there (Joey and Rachels apartment) right now?!
Phoebe: (pointing at Ross) Okay but if you dont find him and bring him back, I am gonna hunt you down and kick your ass!
Richard: Thats what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)
Joey: (wiping face) Wow! Didnt know that.
Gunther: No. No, I havent seen him.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Dont worry. Everythings fine. Well uh, well see you tomorrow at the wedding.
Gunther: I wasnt invited.
Joey: No! No! I cant! You gotta get me out of it! Ive got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)
Monica: (entering from her room, excitedly) Im getting married today!!! (She trips and falls.) (Getting up) I think I just cracked a rib. But I dont care because todays my wedding day! My day is finally here!! (Runs back into her room.)
Rachel: God! DontWe cant let her start getting ready! This is too awful! Oh God, but wait shell be in the gown and then he wont show up and then shes gonna have to take off the gown
Phoebe: Shhh! Stop it! Stop it Rachel! You cant do this here! (She drags her into the bathroom.)
Phoebe: Yeah, but youve got to pull yourself together! Monica cant see you like this! Then shell know somethings wrong!
Rachel: Oh God I just can not imagine what is gonna happen if Chandler doesnt show up!
Phoebe: There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and its positive. Monicas pregnant. (Rachel covers her mouth.) So I guess she wont be totally alone.
Ross: No! I talked to Joey on the set, he hasnt heard from him. I-I-I talked to Chandlers parents again!
Ross: No! Hey! Hey! We cant!
Ross: Well, cant you at least stall her a little? Ill-Ill go back to some of the places I went last night.
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
Joey: Yeah, I-I just made up the stuff about the wedding because I didnt want you to worry about me. But, Im having surgery today.
Ross: Shes fine. She doesnt know youre gone. And she doesnt have to know, okay? Now come on, were going home.
Chandler: No! No! No! I cant do that!
Chandler: Because if I go home, were gonna become the Bings! I cant be the Bings!
Chandler: Its not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybodys! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And Ive met me; I am not Paul Newman. I dont race cars! I dont make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity.
Ross: Yknow, okay. Youre right. It is huge. So why dont we take it just a little bit at a time? Okay? Umm, forget getting married for a sec; just forget about it. Can you just come home and take a shower?
Monica: I cant go to lunch!!
Rachel: We cant find Chandler (Phoebe sticks her head and motions that they found Chandler)s vest. We cant find Chandlers vest.
Phoebe: (entering) Found the vest! I mean were gonna have to keep an eye on it, yknow make sure we dont lose it again
Monica: Oh wow! Okay. Dont scare me like that okay? I mean for a minute there I was like, "Oh my God! The worst has happened!"
Joey: I know! Im sorry! The guys drunk, they wont let me go until we get this.
Joey: Hey! Dont you hang up on me! Ill marry you and me right now! I have the power!
Ross: There you go. You put on a tuxedo! Now that wasnt so scary, was it?
Phoebe: Okay. Oh but dont tell them Monicas pregnant because, they frown on that.
The Rabbi: I dont know. Are they Greek Orthodox?
Mr. Geller: You cant ask us son, thats cheating.
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Mrs. Bing: Honey, it isnt good luck.
Ross: Great. Hes doing great. Dont you worry about Chandler.
Monica: Oh thats sweet. Dont touch me.
Richard: You wouldnt happen to have a very big fork?
Chandler: You dont know?
Ross: Know whatIf somebody doesnt tell me whats going on right now
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
Phoebe: Well you obviously didnt see Chucky 3.
Ross: Ive never walked down the aisle knowing it cant end in divorce.
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Monica: Chandler, for so long I I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that Id ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you dont want to. You go!
Monica: I didnt take a pregnancy test.
Monica: You dont think that umm, (reading) "The chefs Mahi Mahi was awful awful," is bad press?
Monica: I wasnt escaping.
Rachel: No, I know I dont either, but ya know what, its their party, and its just one night. And we dont even have to lie; we just wont say anything. If it comes up again, well just smile. Well nod along.
Ross: Yeah! Yeah, Emily always wanted to get married in this beautiful place that her parents got married, but its going to be torn down, so I mean, I-I know its crazy, but everything up til now has been so crazy, and I dont know, this just feels right. Yknow?
Ross: I dont think so! Youre just giving me Ruth so youll get to name it when its a boy, and thats when youll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.
Chandler: Yeah! (Takes it.) If-if-if we did do this there would be a lot of pressure on me, yknow? Because youve been waiting a very long time and I wouldnt want to disappoint you.
Chandler: Hi, listen, Im sorry about before. I dont need to have a game room. I mean when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldnt get girls, and now I can emNow, I have you. (Monica glares at him.) Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women
Phoebe: Yeah, just dont get your hopes up.
[Scene: Phoebe is in central-perk with Joey telling him what Ross said t her at the beginning.]
Eric: Not really. You youre blurry, but you still look like Ursula. Youre Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe If I-if I just dont look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It it works. Im not, Im not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn�t worry, they shan�t be long.
Ross: Im sorry, I dont believe contestants are allowed to talk to each other.
Chandler: I dont know R.G., I was thinking something girlie for your office.
[Scene: The Fire Escape, Joey and Ross have reached the last landing. Joey is tugging on the ladder that extends to the ground, but it wont budge.]
Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)
Chandler: You cant wear that! Im wearing the famous tux! James Bonds tux!
Phoebe: Alright you guys, we cant turn on each other, Okay? Thats just what she wants.
Rachel: Oh, no! No you guys! Come on, you dont have to do that! Im happy for him! I am! I reallyIm-Im happIll work on it.
Ross: (standing at the edge of the roof) Yeah, I guess we dont have a choice. (Screaming to the street) Help us! Please help us! Were stuck up on the roof and we cant get down!!!
Joey: I love living with you so much. I just wish things didnt have to change.
Rachel: Y'know I cant believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!!
Tag: Ms. Green would like to establish some ground rules before she comes out. She would appreciate it if you dont use the words old or downhill or (To Joey) they still look pretty damn good. (Joey smiles and everyone glares at him.)
The Writer: It wasnt my decision!
Ross: No!! Y'know-y'know dont do me any favours. In fact, where, wheres the rest of my stuff?! Huh? Like-like my umm, (picks up a book) Hey, this book is mine!! And-and-and, and that T-shirt you sleep in? Id like that back too. Yes, I do.
Ross: �Lo que sucedio es que no le gusta la tele! (The thing is, he doesn`t like the program!)
Emily: Dont you point your pants at me! (She throws them on the floor.) We have no choice! Anywhere thats half-decent wouldve be booked months ago, Ross dont you understand? This is our wedding Im talking about.
Janine: Well actually theyre taping tomorrow. I dont really understand why.
Monica: Okay, I got that. Ill escape over there. Ill come back over here. All right, come on Ms. Pac-Man. Its gotRight(She dies.) Well, youre just a little bitch, arent you?
Phoebe: Im sorry I wont be able to make it to your imaginary wedding, but Im really busy that day. Yeah, I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun bar mitzvah.
Rachel: No, I-I just dont know how you decide who to hire. I mean Ive got it narrowed down to two people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then theres this guy
Monica: (congested) Ugh, they sent me home. They said I cant work if Im sick.
Ross: No they dont!!! (He runs to the bedroom to check and returns with his box of condoms.) Well they should put it in huge black letters!!!!
Phoebe: Lets see. (Looking at the picture) Oh my God! Oh But no! No! You cant-you cant hire him, because thatits not professional. Umm, this is for me (The picture) yes? Thanks. (Puts it in her pocket.)
Conan: You dont verbally mess up, but sometimes physically? You mess up.
Rachel: Well, I havent seen him since that night that he told me how he yknow I dont know, I think hes avoiding me. Why is that bagel on the floor?
Rachel: (simultaneously as Ross) No, I dont think well be doing that.
Chandler: Sure I do. In fact, I think the whole concept of marriage is unnatural. I mean look at pigs. Lets take a second here and look at pigs. Okay pigs dont mate for life. I mean a pig can have like a hundred sexual partners in a lifetime, and thats just an ordinary pig not even a pig thats good at sports!
Chandler: Umm maam, do you have a minute? (She points for him to come in) I kind of have some bad news. I dont think I can move to Tulsa.
Monica: (hands the tape back to Joey, but doesnt let him grab it) Yknow maybe a little bit!
Monica: Oh because it doesnt really fit. Oh by the way, I-I booked the Swing Kings.
Tag: Right. So I guess I shouldnt put good at noticing stuff on my resume. (Sets the plant down on her desk.)
Ross: What can I do, she doesnt listen to me about renters insurance either.
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey! You cant leave Joey! You agreed to buy that boat, all right?! That is a contract! And plus if you leave, my boss is gonna kill me!
Matt: I think I was supposed to say, "I dont know," and go over and open the door. And I went
Phoebe: That was supposed to be a good thing, I forget why. Just listen, Monica, I, do you know, okay, do you know, I couldnt sleep for like a month because I got like a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions.
Joey: I-I think everybodys pretending they dont hear you. Anyway, look, I dont know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, Im telling you, he will sit in it! (Ross enters and goes over to the white table) Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I saved you seat.
Joey: (voice-over) ...and he couldnt let it go, and... I dont really know what happened with that either.
Rachel: Wow! I dont know if I could ever do that. I always figured the first time I had a baby was with somebody I love and that baby would be a keeper.
Monica: Rach! We werent gonna miss our friends getting married!
Matthew: I dont necessarily like to juice things
Ross: Im telling you. Im telling you. Thats what it is. No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding. She didnt say anything to you?
Tim: Yknow I-I thought it was gonna be weird, I mean I almost called and canceled, but it really isnt.
Rachel: Well, how can you be a tour guide, dont you have to be a dinosaur expert or something?
Ross: Dont ask me, I had it and I blew it!
Joey: Yes! Didnt you ever read Sports Illustrated?! No! I didnt read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight!
Joshua: Wow! Uhh, Rachel uhh, youre a real special lady, but my divorce isnt final yet and, and, and weve been on four days, so Im thinking "No, but thanks."
Monica: Okay, I think thats it. The seating chart is done. This is our wedding. They all look like theyre having fun dont they?
Ross: Yeah I-I dont-I dont think Im quite there yet, but I could say I looove spending time with you.
Chandler: Yes, here it comes! Im stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I dont think so mister!
Ross: Aw, how can you say that? I cant even get Marcel to stop eating the bath mat. How am I gonna raise a kid?
Rachel: I dont know, his uh, his hair never really bothered me that much, and yknow it was always more crunchy than it was greasy.
Rachel: No. (grabs an eggroll) And then I called him, and he wasnt there.
Monica: So whenever youre ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day! (Monica and Phoebe reenter the apartment and Monica closes the door on a stunned Mrs. Green.) I cant feel my legs!
Phoebe: I dont accept this rule. When me make plans, I expect you to show up. Okay, I cant just be a way to kill time til you meet someone better! Yknow boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but this (Motions that their friendship) is for life!
Rachel: See, I dont know, for me it would have to Chantal.
Monica: My God, Rachel, I cant believe Phoebe made out with Ralph Lauren. Ohh, Im so jealous. (Chandler looks at her.)
Rachel: Ive never interviewed anyone before. Ive actually never had anyone work for me before. Although when I was a kid, we did have a maid, but this is-this isnt the same thing.
Monica: Honey, I dont think thats something we need to worry about! First of all hes-hes never gonna tell her how he feels about her. And even if he did you have no idea how shed react.
Joey: Uh, theyre like my best friends. Are you saying we cant hang out with them? Cause that would kinda be a problem.
Joey: Well, I sorta am. I mean yeah, Im dating this girl whos also seeing another guy. But, I dont know, Im not to worried about it.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Ross: (to Paul) Just-just so you know I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasnt as bad as-as
Phoebe: Why dont you hire him as an actor? You could have him dress up and put on little skits. Whatever you want.
JADE: Hello, I'm looking for Bob. This is Jane. I don't know if you're still at this number, but I was just thinking about us, and how great it was, and, well, I know it's been three years, but, I was kinda hoping we could hook up again. I barely had t he nerve to make this call, so you know what I did?
Ross: (picking up Chi-Chis picture) Aww! Chi-Chi! Oh, I loved this dog! Yknow Monica couldnt get braces because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery.
Phoebe: I-I-I-I-I dont know, I dont know what to say.
Emily: Its not the pants. Its you that is backwards. And if, and if you dont understand how important this is to me, well then, perhaps we shouldnt get married at all! (She storms out.)
Rachel: Thank you. (He leaves and she proceeds to plant the folder in his bottom drawer. She then picks up the phone and holds it to her breasts.) Hello? (Hangs up the phone.) I still dont get it.
Joey: Oh come on Ross! Hey Ross-Ross dont
Phoebe: Hey, that’s not fair! A person’s wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn’t have a graduation party! And I didn’t go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to “kill me” or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.( She storms out)
Rachel: Okay, whoa-whoa easy there Melissa! This aint a locker room, okay? But, yknow I remember him saying that-that he had plans tonight.
Monica: Yes, I want to change. And why-why dont you go down and get us a table?
Monica: See? Thats what I mean. I mean that, thats great! But I wouldnt trade in what I have for that. I mean Im gonna be with Chandler for the rest of my life, and thats what makes me happy. (Chandler approaches.) Hey sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is dont you think?
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Lewis: I know I didnt do well on my midterms and stuff but, I was kinda hoping you could change my grade.
Joey: What am I going to do? You know, and I keep, I keep trying to get rid of these feelings, yknow? I stayed up all last night and made a list of everything I dont like about her. You want to hear it?
Phoebe: Ooh-Ooh! I did it! I did it! I figured out a way to make money! Im gonna open up my own massage place and Franks gonna help me! And! We can work it around his schedule so he doesnt have to quit school!
Monica: I cant leave it! You gouged a hole in my dingy floor.
Chandler: Our kids are gonna be fat arent they.
Mr. Bowmont: I was actually relieved uh I didnt win the boat. My wife wouldve killed me.
Eric: Yknow you dont have to stand here with me, believe me
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-what-what if Martin Luther King had said that? (Imitating what his famous speech would sound like.) I kinda have a dream! I dont want to talk about it.
Joey: Well all right then, I guess I shouldnt get to excited about the fact (excitedly) that I just kissed her!
Joey: An annulment? Ross! I dont think surgerys the answer here.
Emily: I uh, Ive been to his apartment and he wasnt there, and uh. I need to talk to him, so do you have any idea where he is?
Dr. Long: (looks at her beeping pager) Oh, Ill be right back. And, uh, I know its really not my place, but please dont name your child Phoebo.
Phoebe: (doesnt have any luck) Umm, is-is that because youre out of toner?
Phoebe: Okay, you have 19 questions left. Use them wisely. (Joey groans.) Come on Joey! You cant win if you dont ask any (sees that hes asleep) QUESTIONS!!!