words in movies
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Chandler: Okay. (Pause) You wont believe what Monicas older brother just said to me!
Monica: Well, so far I have uh, my brides maids dresses wont get picked up, my veil gets lost, or I dont have my something blue.
Joey: (entering) Hey! You guys! Remember that audition I had a while ago and didnt get the part?
Monica: Wait! Wait! Wait! You cant start today! Todays the rehearsal dinner!
Joey: Wow! I cant believe this! This is incredible. I mean you just won an Oscar!
Richard: No I didnt.
The Director: (approaching) Okay! Were about an hour away from getting the scene lit. So uh, if you guys dont mind, can we run it a couple of times?
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
Monica: (laughs) I dont have anything like that, but let me go see if Rachel does.
Monica: I just, I cant believe that we made it!
Chandler: Well you dont have to sound so surprised.
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
Mr. Geller: I didnt even have a chance to act as though Im okay with it!
Mr. Bing: Yes! Although, I think we may be seeing a little too much of some people. Arent you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Mrs. Bing: Dont you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
Rachel: Yeah! But I dont know what he looks like!
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
Ross: (going up to Rachels closed door) Chandler? (He opens the door and looks inside and doesnt see him.) Chandler? (He checks the bathroom and still doesnt find him. He then finds a note on the counter. He picks it up and reads it.)
Phoebe: Dont be so negative! Good God! Isnt it possible that Sorry is sitting in there (Joey and Rachels apartment) right now?!
Phoebe: (pointing at Ross) Okay but if you dont find him and bring him back, I am gonna hunt you down and kick your ass!
Richard: Thats what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)
Joey: (wiping face) Wow! Didnt know that.
Gunther: No. No, I havent seen him.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Dont worry. Everythings fine. Well uh, well see you tomorrow at the wedding.
Gunther: I wasnt invited.
Joey: No! No! I cant! You gotta get me out of it! Ive got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)
Monica: (entering from her room, excitedly) Im getting married today!!! (She trips and falls.) (Getting up) I think I just cracked a rib. But I dont care because todays my wedding day! My day is finally here!! (Runs back into her room.)
Rachel: God! DontWe cant let her start getting ready! This is too awful! Oh God, but wait shell be in the gown and then he wont show up and then shes gonna have to take off the gown
Phoebe: Shhh! Stop it! Stop it Rachel! You cant do this here! (She drags her into the bathroom.)
Phoebe: Yeah, but youve got to pull yourself together! Monica cant see you like this! Then shell know somethings wrong!
Rachel: Oh God I just can not imagine what is gonna happen if Chandler doesnt show up!
Phoebe: There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and its positive. Monicas pregnant. (Rachel covers her mouth.) So I guess she wont be totally alone.
Ross: No! I talked to Joey on the set, he hasnt heard from him. I-I-I talked to Chandlers parents again!
Ross: No! Hey! Hey! We cant!
Ross: Well, cant you at least stall her a little? Ill-Ill go back to some of the places I went last night.
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
Joey: Yeah, I-I just made up the stuff about the wedding because I didnt want you to worry about me. But, Im having surgery today.
Ross: Shes fine. She doesnt know youre gone. And she doesnt have to know, okay? Now come on, were going home.
Chandler: No! No! No! I cant do that!
Chandler: Because if I go home, were gonna become the Bings! I cant be the Bings!
Chandler: Its not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybodys! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And Ive met me; I am not Paul Newman. I dont race cars! I dont make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity.
Ross: Yknow, okay. Youre right. It is huge. So why dont we take it just a little bit at a time? Okay? Umm, forget getting married for a sec; just forget about it. Can you just come home and take a shower?
Monica: I cant go to lunch!!
Rachel: We cant find Chandler (Phoebe sticks her head and motions that they found Chandler)s vest. We cant find Chandlers vest.
Phoebe: (entering) Found the vest! I mean were gonna have to keep an eye on it, yknow make sure we dont lose it again
Monica: Oh wow! Okay. Dont scare me like that okay? I mean for a minute there I was like, "Oh my God! The worst has happened!"
Joey: I know! Im sorry! The guys drunk, they wont let me go until we get this.
Joey: Hey! Dont you hang up on me! Ill marry you and me right now! I have the power!
Ross: There you go. You put on a tuxedo! Now that wasnt so scary, was it?
Phoebe: Okay. Oh but dont tell them Monicas pregnant because, they frown on that.
The Rabbi: I dont know. Are they Greek Orthodox?
Mr. Geller: You cant ask us son, thats cheating.
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Mrs. Bing: Honey, it isnt good luck.
Ross: Great. Hes doing great. Dont you worry about Chandler.
Monica: Oh thats sweet. Dont touch me.
Richard: You wouldnt happen to have a very big fork?
Chandler: You dont know?
Ross: Know whatIf somebody doesnt tell me whats going on right now
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
Phoebe: Well you obviously didnt see Chucky 3.
Ross: Ive never walked down the aisle knowing it cant end in divorce.
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Monica: Chandler, for so long I I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that Id ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you dont want to. You go!
Monica: I didnt take a pregnancy test.
Rachel: I didnt know you could get married here.
Phoebe: Like okay I-I-I, I havent met any Portuguese people! I, I havent had the perfect kiss! And I havent been to snipers school!
Chandler: Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean yknow you cant date him right?
Monica: Oh yeah, she didnt hire me out of pity, it wasnt so she could pick on me in front of her friends, she actually thinks Im good.
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
Phoebe: Yknow, this is probably none of my business, but werent you guys supposed to not be seen in public together?
Ross: I know when Im 90 shell be like 80 and it wont seem like such a big difference.
Chandler: Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey Joey, why dont you be my best man."
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Rachel: No. Not-not for me, but why dont you take off your sweater?
Monica: Phoebe, its okay. You dont have to tip toe around me. I-Ive been thinking about it and umm, yknow what? Im okay about not having that new relationship feeling
Phoebe: Ok, you guys, I don’t mean to make things worse, but umm, I don’t want to live with Rachel anymore.
Chandler: I thought we werent gonna have bachelor/bachelorette parties! Yknow, we agreed that it was a silly tradition.
Joey: I dont know why you say that so soon.
Joey: Yeah, but, hey look, dont go through her stuff. She gets really mad.(Chandler gives him a look and walks to the door of his old room.)
Russell: Ross, I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years and never had I so much business from one client. Why dont you tell me what happened.
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesnt know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
Gunther: Well, I wouldnt call her a star, but shes really good. You should check out Inspecther Gadget.
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Joey: Dont blame me, I saw it on The Discovery Channel.
Joey: Pheebs! (He looks down as he goes down the step to make sure he didnt fall again.) Check it out! (He starts laughing when he realized what he did.)
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
Phoebe: Alright, so, can we turn this off? Can we just make it... make them go away? Because I cant, I cant watch.
Rachel: Yeah, but I dont know why. Look at me, Im having such a wonderful time!
Ross: (shocked) You dont have a valid drivers licenseOkay that is it! Pull over right now!
Ross: Oh, I kinda was, wasnt I?
Ross: Why dont they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-thats a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?! Thats fun too! Whew!!
Rachel: Oh my God, wait did II just said Greens dont quit didnt I? (Pause) (Angrily) Did I just say Greens dont quit?!
Rachel: Yeah, when were in the audience he doesnt talk to us, but he does wave.
Monica: Ross, I cant believe youd do that!
Joey: Yknow Terry, I-I dont really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series, (Pause) with a robot.
Rachel: Maybe she hasnt really thought it through that well.
Ross: Yeah, kinda. Its this woman from work. I hope that wont be too weird. Will it, Rach?
Chandler: Well he doesnt have to know! Its not like we run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys, and he stars in a drag show in Vegas.
Monica: Okay. Dont you want a cookie?
Rachel: Oh (happy) oh no just stopped to throw up a little bit. (Emma starts crying again.) Oh come on, what am I gonna do, its been hours and it wont stop crying.
Rachel: Noo! Maybe! I, I dont know.
Joey: Yeah, the ah, trees that dont fulfil their Christmas destiny are thrown in the chipper.
Monica: Well it wasnt my fault, Phoebe was in charge of the invitations!
Joey: (entering) Hey uh Monica, I cant remember. Did we say we were gonna meet here or at the movies?
Phoebe: Is it Ross? Its Ross isnt itOh my God, its Joey!
Rachel: Oh, screw you guys, you dont have to do it!
Phoebe: Oh, this is terrible. Oh, theyve made so many changes I cant even feel my grandmothers presence anymoreOoh! New sconces!
Rachel: Oh Monica come on, yknow I dont sleep with guys on the first date!
Chandler: Oh, you dont know. (Presses a button.) Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise?
Monica: Yknow what? I-I think that umm, I dont feel like going to The Plaza.
Elizabeth: Why dont you get in the hot tub and Ill meet you there.
Ross: Maybe. But it wouldnt hurt to have a backup, you know? Uh, Rach-Rach, what were you thinking? (Gives her a look)
Joey: Well, you gotta give him something that he cant say no too. Like uh, Knicks tickets! Invite the guy to a Knicks game, youre guaranteed hell say yes!
Ross: Well, why dont you just start with something simple. Like umm, Monica from the moment I met you, I knew I loved you.
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Chandler: Nothing happened? Nothing? So you didnt tell my girlfriend that you love her?
Ross: Oh my God! Those werent albino kids, that was computer camp! Rach! (He hurries inside and Chandler is taking out the garbage.)
Ross: Okay, maybe it wasnt my best decision. But I just couldnt face another failed marriage.
Chandler: No, no I just ah, didnt do them. Instead, I ah, hung out with a couple of friends and had a couple of beers so I certainly dont deserve any praise, verbal or otherwise.
Eric: Arent you gonna give me a kiss?
Joey: All right thats it! Youre yelling and I dont see you taking your top off! I quit!
Joey: My beers?! Look you guys, shes a very nice girl. Okay? We had a good time, but I justI dont see it going anywhere.
Monica: Well, theyre just gonna have to wait arent they? Ive only got two hands!!
Monica: Okay. (Opens the fridge.) All right, turkey. Eh, that wont work. Cheese? (Picks it up) That wont work. Olive loaf? (Picks it up) I hope that wont work.
Dr. Schiff: Uh, I dont have a wife or girlfriend, but I do like to ski.
Joey: Now that youre a couple, we dont get two presents from you guys?
Phoebe: I cant believe you didnt tell me there was a suicide note!
Boy in the Cape: You cant tell me to shut up!
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I dont want that!
Ross: Oh, come on, every first time mother feels that way. Youllyoure gonna pick it up. (Rachel doesnt believe that.) Hey! You will! Uh look, yknow when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who-who still used daddys credit card. Do you remember?
Ross: Oh, no-no-no dont you worry about me falling asleep. I still have your letter!!!
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
The Fireman: The next time you want to dump a fire alarm in a trash chute, dont wrap it in a blanket that says, "Property of Phoebe Buffay not Monica."
Chandler: No, no, no, I dont, I dont really wanna play.
Rachel: Well, maybe you didnt want it to end?
Joey: Well, not that its any of your business, but, no, we havent, okay?
Monica: (throwing up the last present) I dont know how any of these got opened?!
Chandler: Oh hey. Id shake your hand but uh; Im really into the game. Plus, I think itd be better for my ego if we didnt stand right next to each other.
Rachel: I do. I really do. I dont know anything.
Monica: No-no, I-I really dont want to talk about it! I dont! (To Rachel) Especially with you. (Goes into her room.)
Kate: Im soo glad I caught you, I couldnt find you before.
Mona: Ohh! (Hugs him.) And I love spending time with you. (Ross isnt happy.)
Rachel: Yeah honey you dont believe her do you?
Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial dont seem to think its that bad.
Rachel: Okay Bobby, why dont we just come over here and let them have a little moment. (Drags Bobby away from Joey and Dina.)
Rachel: Ross youre not listening to me, I dont have time to stop.
Chandler: You cant leave! I have your shoe!
Joey: Oh, thats, uh, thats Phoebes friends dog. I dont know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella.
Phoebe: Oooh look! Isnt this adorable, Ross let Ben address mine!
Joey: No! You dont want to wreck it, you dont want to go to fast!
Monica: Thats right. Thats right. And that is why you cant stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldnt come to the wedding.
Emily: Dont do this to me, again. Youd know Id stay here in a minute, but Id really miss so much work, theyll fire me.
Chandler: Oh just great. He beeps me now with codes. One is, "Bring me food." Two is, "Im with a girl, bring us food." Three is, "Im lost and I cant find food."
Phoebe: Oh no, I dont believe in Western medicine. No, if you just apply pressure to these points right here. (Shes pinching the bit of skin between her right thumb and forefinger with her left hand.) Then your hand starts to hurt and you still have a headache, so thanks. (Takes the pills.)
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
Rachel: But yknow umm, Rachel doesnt rhyme with draddle.
Rachel: Oh, and then, we got into this big, stupid fight. I just, it was awful. I told him he treats me like a park ranger, or something, oh and then I told him I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
Rachel: Oh sorry didnt mean to interrupt. Its just such a beautiful space; do you do a lot of weddings here?
Chandler: By then, the cheesecake may have gone bad. We dont want her to come back to bad cheesecake.
Joey: I dont know! (All excited) I havent totally decided how to talk on my boat yet.
Ross: Come on Pheebs, its not that bad! Yknow most people would be excited if they didnt have to work for a couple of weeks.
Ross: (laughs) You dont-you dont want to hear about my dream Officer Pretty?
Alice: Absolutely. Okay, first well start with a little club soda and salt, and then if that doesnt work we can go back to
Rachel: Dont just say yes! This isnt a game, Joey you can really get hurt out here. Okay, so do you want to pay attention or do you want to die?!