words in movies
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
Monica: Hey Rach, arent these candlesticks (holds up a pair) mine?
Rachel: Well, who wouldnt?!
Phoebe: Yeah, and I know you guys dont know a lot about psychic readings, but that one is pretty much the worse one you can get.
Joey: I cant believe she would say that too you.
Rachel: Yeah honey you dont believe her do you?
Phoebe: I dontshe said yknow that Id have triplets! But she also said one of them would be black.
Phoebe: No, cause she didnt tell me I was gonna die until the very end of the session, and I was not gonna waste a whole another hour there! I mean Ive only got a week left, yknow? Ive really gotta start living now! (So she picks up the latest copy of Car and Driver (a U.S. auto magazine), leans back, and starts reading.)
Joey: Well, Ive just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didnt have naked chicks on it.
Chandler: Why dont you open with a joke?
Ross: Please dont say naked chicks.
Ross: I-I-I dont even know why I bother to talk to you guys about it. Yknow what? Im just gonna do it on my own with no naked chicks.
Joey: Hmm thats weird. I dont remember being in a move called benefits lapsed.
Chandler: Okay, its not a check. Theyre saying your health insurance expired because, you didnt work enough last year.
Joey: (reads it) Oh, I cant believe this! This sucks! When I had insurance I could get hit by a bus or catch on fire, yknow? And it wouldnt matter. Now I gotta be careful?!
Phoebe: I was preparing you for mydidnt you think I was dead? Did that not come off?
Rachel: Oh yeah, theyre really great! Arent they?
Ross: It went great! And I didnt need any jokes or naked chicks either!
Rachel: Wow, thats great Ross, Im sorry we werent more supportive before.
Chandler: Thats great, but shouldnt you be on the toilet right now?
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Rachel: Well, were a little early, the lecture doesnt end for 15 minutes.
Monica: (normal voice) Oh, you can have an accent and I cant?! (To an exiting student in accent.) Top O the morning to ya laddies!
Joey: Thank you, but it would take me forever to pay you that money back and I dont want that hanging over my head. Okay? Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in I can get all the free operations I want! Yeah, Im thinking Ill probably start with that laser eye surgery too.
Chandler: Oh Joeys got a really bad hernia, but thats nothing a little laser eye surgery wont fix!
Joey: Look, Im telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here (He puts his hand down his pants, like Al Bundy on Married With Children always used to do.) it doesnt hurt that bad.
Phoebe: No, we can go together! Just dont wait too long though, okay? Cause Im outta here sometime before Friday.
Joey: Yeah, but I dont wanna die!
Monica: Why dont you phase it out? Yeah, fade the accent out and people will think youre, yknow, that youre adjusting to life in America.
Joey: So thats why I feed my dog Purina One! Pick up a bag today! (He turns, looks at the bag and realizes he wont be able to pick it up.)
Joey: Or, I could just point to it! Huh? Blah, blah, blah, Purina One, point to a bag today. (She just looks at him.) I didnt get it, did I?
Chandler: Im sorry! Hey-hey Joe, why dont you uh, lift up your shirt? (He does.) Take a look at this kiddo. (Alex finally starts crying.) We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras!
Russell: Yes, this Russell, Rosss divorce lawyer, just tell him that since I havent heard from him, I assume hes decided to give the marriage a try.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isnt a long trip.) Because hes made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since hes re-established his health insurance.]
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
Ross: Well uh, yknow what? Even if she doesnt know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didnt live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself.
Chandler: Oh God, it freaked me out. Okay, I know it shouldnt have, but it did. I mean I like her, I dont want to stop seeing her, but every so often its like Hey, y'know what, wheres your leg? I mean Im the smallest person in the world arent I? Im the smallest person in the world.
Chandler: You dont owe me anything, I dont want you money
Monica: Doesnt it ever just freak you out that-that youre never gonna be with anybody new again?
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Phoebe: Okay, okay, but Rachels gonna be here too, cant I just ask her this stuff?
Monica: You slept with her didnt you?
Phoebe: I just talked him into it, dont tell me I have to do you too. The puppet master gets tired people.
Ross: First of all its Professor Pittain! And second of all, that little bone, proved that, that particular dinosaur had wings, but didnt fly.
Ross: Oh, see I-I dont know if were gonna be hungry at three.
Joey: Yeah, and there wont be a relationship left to rebuild.
Joey: Well I dont like to say it out loud, but, yeah! Dont feel bad man, we all have our strengths. Youre better with numbers and stuff.
Woman: Dont worry about it.
Chandler: Yes, but havent you wanted a kid like forever?
Chandler: So you didnt mean any of that?!
Phoebe: Yeah. (Pause) Why arent you with Rachel?
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?
Phoebe: No, you cant let this stop you from getting massages! No look, I have, I have lots of clients that make the same noises you do!
Joey: I still havent gotten a check for your half yet.
Joey: Well, it looks like it wasnt heeled after all! Yeah! So, I guess this chair is mine now! (Sits down in it and groans.)
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldnt eat meat until she has the babies!
Chandler: Okay and he hasnt proposed yet because she has no ring on her finger.
Phoebe: Yeah! How would you like it if I sent you to Lee Majors house and told you that he liked you, and you went down there and you found out that he didnt like you? How would you feel?
Joey: No! Forget her, man! You dont need her, you dont need that!
Janice: I .cant .believe this!
Rachel: Oh we-we didnt.
Monica: Okay, well, we have to get past this! Why dont we get rid of the tape and pretend it never existed?
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Janice: (laughs) Look how nervous he gets! We havent slept together in years! (Laughs again.)
Joey: Oh my God I have to tell her! I havent even thought about what I will say. What should I say?
Dana: Wow. Oh, I am really flattered, but I just I dont feel that way about you.
Cliff: I dont think so.
Rachel: Dont say, "Oh my God!" Oh my God what?
Rachel: I cant!
Rachel: Im sorry, I cant!
Joey: No they cant! They were stupid enough to get knocked up!
Ross: Crack isnt even an intravenous drug!
Phoebe: Okay, my turn. My turn. (Joey hands her to Phoebe.) Oh! Youre so cute! Oh, I could squeeze your little head! (Pause) I wont.
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are trying to take their engagement picture. Monica has a beautiful smile, while Chandler isnt.]
Dina: I cant believe shes really gone. Look around you, all of this is ours. (They move into kiss but; theyre stopped by Joey entering with a huge bandage wrapped around his head.)
Frank: Uh, no, not really, just that I was too young, y'know, but I dont see how I could all of the sudden be too young, cause Im older than I was when we first got together.
Dr. Green: Oh come on! Dont be such a baby! (Goes after him)
Monica: I cant believe were here.
Joey: You dont have to worry about that okay?
Drew: I didnt think you were gay. I do now.
Monica: Isnt she beautiful?
Joey: Why isnt that valet back with my Porsche?
Chandler: Well maybe you dont have to tell him anything.
Rachel: I cant say that Im surprised.
Joey: Yknow, I dont really know her.
Chandler: Yes, we dont get married unless theres a sign! Okay, so say uh, say you roll another eight (motions to the craps table) then theres a definite sign that we should get married.
Ross: Uh actually, I sent the flowers before the actual date. So techincally, technically I didnt break any rules. Thanks for stopping by though.
Ross: Phoebe, there is no secret. Okay? I didnt propose.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, hey! You cant. Okay? Ever!
Monica: It wasnt fun?!
Monica: I dont feel good right now.
Monica: You cant marry him!
Chandler: You still havent told Rachel you werent really proposing?
Joey: Yeah, lifes pretty great isnt it?
Ross: I dont think you do.
Chandler: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What is all this pressure?! Is this some new kind of strategy? Why dont you put down your copy of The Rules huh mantrap?!
Joey: No, I didnt!
Rachel: You didnt propose to me. Joey did.
Joey: No, I didnt!
Joey: No, I didnt!
Rachel: Yes, you did! And dont you say, "No, I didnt!"
Ross: No, you didnt!
Ross: To be fair, he doesnt seem to be impersonating Fonzie
Chandler: Oh, you do? Because she said you guys havent talked in like years.
Mrs. Geller: Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasnt it interesting, Jack?
Monica: Honey why dont you go lie down.
Alice: Dont get me started. (To Phoebe) Anyway, umm, since there are three babies and umm, we both got to put our names in, we would be truly honoured if you named the other boy baby.
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
Rachel: Yes okay. (Checking the speed dial again.) Well now see this isnt telling us anything. (Reading the speed dial) Joe. Carlos. Peter. Ooh! Peter Luger! T hats a steak house!
Chandler: We cant do that thats insane. I mean A he could wake up and B yknow, lets go for it.
Ross: Phoebe, you cant force kids to be friends.
Ross: Ah actually we dont. (Ross walks off)
Ross: No I dont.
Ross: Well we we dont have a garage.
Ross: Why dont we talk about this on the way to the hospital?
Issac: Oh, hey, man I know, doesnt matter how much we love em, monogamy is too cruel a rule.
Joey: Oh-ho-ho, you think I dont know what breaks my fridge? Excuse me! (He opens the door and feels inside.) Well what do you know! Broken! Thatll be $400!
Ross: I dont think that we are.
Joey: All right look, yknow how-yknow how when youre dating someone and you dont want to cheat on them, unless its with someone really hot?
Chandler: Oh so there cant be any yelling.
Joey: No! No! I cant! You gotta get me out of it! Ive got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)
Joey: Do uh, do you got any beer? All-all I got is this melon stuff that Rachel left. I dont
Monica: Breaks your heart doesnt it
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you dont like the guy Rachels dating? Well, thats odd.
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Chandler: Dont try to make me uncomfortable with feminine stuff!
Ross: Well yeah, but she doesnt know that. I mean, the last time she saw you-you wouldve turned one of those little wedding chairs into kindling.
Monica: Why dont you just stop doing stupid things? Then you wouldnt have to apologize.
Rachel: No! It didnt! Thats what I want to talk to you about. (starts to break up) Now, just to brief you (starts to cry) I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.
Ginger: Its okay if it bothers you. Really. I mean the only thing I need to know is: How much it bothers you? because I dont like wasting my time. Am I wasting my time?
Rachel: Well-well you can give them to me! I havent felt my feet in years!
Rachel: (checks her watch) Fifty-two minutes. (Pause) So no-no brothers and sisters, huh? That must be nice. You dont have to share stuff.
Monica: Dont you see? Its the perfect crime!
Chloe: Hi guys. I havent seen you since this morning.