words in movies
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
Monica: Hey Rach, arent these candlesticks (holds up a pair) mine?
Rachel: Well, who wouldnt?!
Phoebe: Yeah, and I know you guys dont know a lot about psychic readings, but that one is pretty much the worse one you can get.
Joey: I cant believe she would say that too you.
Rachel: Yeah honey you dont believe her do you?
Phoebe: I dontshe said yknow that Id have triplets! But she also said one of them would be black.
Phoebe: No, cause she didnt tell me I was gonna die until the very end of the session, and I was not gonna waste a whole another hour there! I mean Ive only got a week left, yknow? Ive really gotta start living now! (So she picks up the latest copy of Car and Driver (a U.S. auto magazine), leans back, and starts reading.)
Joey: Well, Ive just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didnt have naked chicks on it.
Chandler: Why dont you open with a joke?
Ross: Please dont say naked chicks.
Ross: I-I-I dont even know why I bother to talk to you guys about it. Yknow what? Im just gonna do it on my own with no naked chicks.
Joey: Hmm thats weird. I dont remember being in a move called benefits lapsed.
Chandler: Okay, its not a check. Theyre saying your health insurance expired because, you didnt work enough last year.
Joey: (reads it) Oh, I cant believe this! This sucks! When I had insurance I could get hit by a bus or catch on fire, yknow? And it wouldnt matter. Now I gotta be careful?!
Phoebe: I was preparing you for mydidnt you think I was dead? Did that not come off?
Rachel: Oh yeah, theyre really great! Arent they?
Ross: It went great! And I didnt need any jokes or naked chicks either!
Rachel: Wow, thats great Ross, Im sorry we werent more supportive before.
Chandler: Thats great, but shouldnt you be on the toilet right now?
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Rachel: Well, were a little early, the lecture doesnt end for 15 minutes.
Monica: (normal voice) Oh, you can have an accent and I cant?! (To an exiting student in accent.) Top O the morning to ya laddies!
Joey: Thank you, but it would take me forever to pay you that money back and I dont want that hanging over my head. Okay? Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in I can get all the free operations I want! Yeah, Im thinking Ill probably start with that laser eye surgery too.
Chandler: Oh Joeys got a really bad hernia, but thats nothing a little laser eye surgery wont fix!
Joey: Look, Im telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here (He puts his hand down his pants, like Al Bundy on Married With Children always used to do.) it doesnt hurt that bad.
Phoebe: No, we can go together! Just dont wait too long though, okay? Cause Im outta here sometime before Friday.
Joey: Yeah, but I dont wanna die!
Monica: Why dont you phase it out? Yeah, fade the accent out and people will think youre, yknow, that youre adjusting to life in America.
Joey: So thats why I feed my dog Purina One! Pick up a bag today! (He turns, looks at the bag and realizes he wont be able to pick it up.)
Joey: Or, I could just point to it! Huh? Blah, blah, blah, Purina One, point to a bag today. (She just looks at him.) I didnt get it, did I?
Chandler: Im sorry! Hey-hey Joe, why dont you uh, lift up your shirt? (He does.) Take a look at this kiddo. (Alex finally starts crying.) We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras!
Russell: Yes, this Russell, Rosss divorce lawyer, just tell him that since I havent heard from him, I assume hes decided to give the marriage a try.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isnt a long trip.) Because hes made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since hes re-established his health insurance.]
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
Gunther: I dont know.
Monica: No you didnt. Oh and honey just so you know, now that youre marrying me, you dont get to win anymore.
Mrs. Green: Look at that face! Just like when you were in high school! If I didnt know better Id say you were a cheerleader in trouble. Come on, lets get some tea.
Chandler: Okay Ross, why dont you come with me?
Chandler: Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Dont fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesnt move as he gets out of bed and as hes heading for the door.) And I probably wont spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.
Phoebe: Oh hi BenNo!! Dont look at the machine! (Covers the screen.)
Frank: I know! Why dont you get drunk! That worked for a lot of girls in my high school.
Ross: What you dont think Id go up to her?
Chandler: Yknow, I cant believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on Im never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!
Phoebe: Wow! I didnt know you guys actually used those.
Ross: You dont know?! Rach, you balded my girlfriend!
Phoebe: I dont believe you! That is brilliant! And Monica has no idea?
Emily: (laughs) Ross play rugby? I dont think so.
Joey: I don’t get it, Chandler loved it!
Ross: Hero, I uh, I dont knowwell, all right.
Monica: It doesnt say that!
Ross: Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldnt. Thats why Im here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-thats a no.
Rachel: Ahh, I dont believe you. I think you dont want them to see you begging me. (Goes to put the tape in the VCR)
Chandler: Hey, I had a terrible childhood and I dont do porn.
Ross: Yay! (To Carol) Seriously, our sex life I was thinking, maybe I dont know, we could try some-some new things. Yknow? For fun?
Rachel: I cannot believe that you didnt tell me that we are still married!!
Chandler: Yeah, Id love to but Ive tried that so many times they wont even let me in the store anymore.
Monica: Were not gonna have sex! Okay, nothings changed here. He still doesnt want children and I still do, so thats why were just gonna be friends.
Monica: I was just saying that because I was ovulating and you said you wouldn�t have sex with me while we�re fighting.
Phoebe: Well, look, why dont you just, why dont you do your Phase Two strip club thing with us.
Joey: Yeah, just a crush! Thats all this is! Its a crush! Im Joey; I dont get deep feelings.
Phoebe: Yknow! You dont make a very good first impression.
Ross: Thank you, but I want to remove it Pheebs. I dont want to make it savory.
Monica: Nothing, I dont know.
Ross: Oh please! (He sits down.) (To Phoebe) Youre gonna say things now, arent ya?
Phoebe: Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I dont get it. Arent you the one that decided that you didnt want to be with Ross?
Mr. Burgin: Well, were starving, why dont we all go get something to eat?
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Phoebe: (to her) Hey! Dont you give me any of yourHey! (Sees Chandler and Monica standing there.)
Janice: Oh, Im sorry honey, Im so, so, (nasally) haaaaa! Im so, so sorry, I just (nasally) haaaaaa! But I, oh what happened was, I-I-I cant breathe. Can you get me a bag, or something?
Ross: (to Rachel) You see what men do! Dont tell me men are not nice! (points to Chandler) This is men!!
Chandler: I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.
Pete: Oh, believe me, I dont want to get hurt either. Im being smart about this. See these guys? Theyre the best trainers in the world, and Hoshi here used to be a paid assassin. (Hoshi yells at him in Chinese) A house painter! He used to be a house painter.
Monica: This would be a beautiful place to get married, yeah, but I wouldnt put the aisle there and I would never have the ceremony there! (Points to both places.) I mean youd have the ceremony under this big beautiful arch. (The arch at the entrance to the room.)
Phoebe: Seriously, I dont Rachels gonna think its a good idea.
Joey: But why?! I shouldve won one and I really want it and she didnt even care enough to come to the thing! It could also be a Grammy.
Ross: Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh (Grabs a cookie and takes a big bite out of it and doesnt like it.) Its batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! (Gets up and runs for the bathroom.)
Monica: You still have feelings for me dont you?
Chandler: Yes you can. Youre thinking about time, you cant go back in time.
Joey: Chandler, you have to start getting over her. All right, if you play, you get some fresh air, maybe itll take your mind off Janice, and if you dont play, everyone will be mad at you cause the teams wont be even. Come on.
Phoebe: Umm, Im sorry. Wont-wont Jacks father be joining us?
Monica: Wouldnt you be?
Chandler: I dont suck. Its sucks. You suck.
Airline Employee: Im sorry, would you move your thumb? I cant see the seat number.
Chandler: You dont, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?
Phoebe: That wasnt a date! That was, that was just friends getting together (quietly) having sex.
Chandler: But we dont do that.
Don: No. But God, a house made of cheese, wouldnt that be incredible?!
Ross: Well Im jumping! I have a son! Okay? He wont have a father if-if I die!
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
Rachel: Okay, now make it even, cause we dont...
Pete: Listen, can you promise me that you wont tell her though?
Ross: No, I dont want to hit you.
Rachel: Monica, you dont even have a bed, you sleep in a ball on the floor!
Monica: I would love too, but I cant! I mean I just cant, you know that Im not good at confrontation.
The Stripper: Okay, who are you? The Hardy boys? Look, I dont need to steal some stupid ring, all right? I make $1,600 a week doing what I do; any of you guys make that?
Chandler: Uh-huh, and I got all the top ten scores, I erased Phoebe off the board! High five! (Holds up his hand to give Monica a high five, only he cant straighten his fingers.)
Rachel: Maybe its not as bad as I think. Yknow, maybe they didnt take it the way I meant it.
Rachel: Oh no!!!! Oh my God!! This is all making so much sense to me now! This is why Adam Carter wouldnt go out with me! This is why Billy Tratt would just stay in this region! (Motions to her breasts.) (Joey has turned around.)
Phoebe: Okay. (Phoebe and Rachel join Monica and Chandler on the altar.) Hey Mon, why did you tell the guys you werent pregnant?
Woman At The Wedding: It didnt click.
Rachel: Well thats gross, why dont you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster?
Monica: Cause I just keeping thinking about all these things that Im not gonna have and its freaking me out. I dont know what to do about it.
Ross: (on the phone) Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Rachel: Well, let�s see. The first one is: I don�t want to. And, you know, I�m not going.
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Phoebe: Oh good! Okay. Cause you were acting like you didnt.
Joey: No-no-no, Im serious. You dont smell it? Somethings on fire.
Chandler: Who says you cant get a nice punch bowl for under six bucks? Maybe we can take it back?
Monica: Dont worry about it Phoebe, well absolutely do it.
Earl: Okay, I dont need any toner because Im going to kill myself.
Joey: I dont know, maybe I cant. I mean, maybe theres something wrong with me.
Tommy: Ooh, I dont know. Probably the smell of freshly cut grass.
Phoebe: Look, she only suspects something okay? She doesnt know for sure, so just throw her off the track.
Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you dont give me that number then Im going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.
Rachel: You were with Kenny today, werent you?
Rachel: That wouldnt help me.
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
Judge: That wont be necessary.
Monica: Maybe Joey doesnt have to give you the money, TV stars have assistants right?
Chandler: Why havent you told them?!
Chandler: Why wouldnt they be happy?
Chandler: Well Monica just told me that they dont.
Kim: No. No! You're doing great! Dont you give up! That's why we didn't tell you and we're not gonna drag you down with us.
Chandler: That was an obvious joke, and I didnt think of it. Why didnt I think of it? The source of all my powers. Oh dear God, what have I done!
Joey: Oh dont listen to him, hes just some guy who really wants the apartment, but I dont think hes gonna get it.
Monica: I'm his sister, okay? I love him! I don't want to see him get hurt! Come on! Doesnt that give me the right to control himhelp him?
Bonnie: (to Ross) Shoot! I cant go, I have to work!
Phoebe: But why didnt you just tell her the truth.
Chandler: Ahh, you know what? That is....Who wouldnt want you?
Chandler: Oh, yeah. (Starts to take it off and then realizes) Uh, no you cant have my jacket! Because then I would be cold! If you thought that you were going to be cold, you shouldve brought your own jacket. But uh, other than that, are you okay? Are you okay?
Rachel: Honey, why dont you sit down? Dina has something that she wants to tell you.
Ross: Pity food? Y'know what thats okay, all right, I dont need any of you to stay, okay nobody stays.
Chandler: Isnt that what happened with you and the brides maid?