words in movies
Joey: (laughs) Why would you want to do that?
Rachel: So that there will be a decent place for me to sit.
Joey: The big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and its at the perfect angle so you dont get any glare coming of off Stevie.
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
Joey: Thats true.
Monica: That was me and Ross.
Phoebe: Oh thats right!
Monica: Oh thats a great idea. Youre really good on the phone.
Phoebe: Okay, I can do that! Oh, by the way, I love my office.
Supervisor: Okay, what was wrong with that call?
Supervisor: Theyre always going to tell you they dont need toner, but thats okay because whatever they say, you can find the answer to it here in this script.
Chandler: Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)
Monica: Oh, thats okay, I cant wait to see everything again! All of the memories
(Phoebe desperately tries to find the scripted response to that line.)
Phoebe: (doesnt have any luck) Umm, is-is that because youre out of toner?
Earl: Well I only have one thing to do today. (He looks at his board in his office that reads, "Todays Tasks: KILL SELF.") I guess I could push it back.
Earl: Its just that I uh, have been working for ten years now at this meaningless, dead-end job and nobody here even knows I exist!
Phoebe: No look, I-Im sure that people know you exist!
Joey: I dont know why you say that so soon.
Rachel: Thats weird.
Rachel: Thats right Joey, the chair angel came in and heeled your chair. (She sits down in the chair.)
Ross: Dad that wont matter to her. Look, all my stuff is safe and dry and all her is-is, is growing new stuff! See, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes her think you guys love me more than you love her.
Mr. Geller: Oh my God, does she really thinks that?
Ross: Like uh yknow like this! This! (He picks up one of those art projects that kids make in kindergarten and first grade.) She-she couldve made this!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sitting the now heeled Rosita as Rachel is sitting in the newly arrived Francette. Francette is one of those new chairs from La-Z-Boy that has and does everything except cook and go to the bathroom for you. Its got a small refrigerator under one armrest it has phone jacks for the Internet and regular phone, and so much more.]
Rachel: Yeah? Wow! Yknow, that this thing has speakers in the headrest!
Phoebe: Earl, youre not hearing me! All Im saying is that youre not alone all right? Everybody hates the people they work with! (One of her coworkers overhears that, and she mimes that she didnt mean him.)
Phoebe: Wait, what was that? That sounded like someone being nice to you.
Earl: No! Thats just the "Hey Guy" guy. He says that to everybody! Hes the worst! Id like to take him with me!
Supervisor: (walking by and overhearing that) (to the rest of the staff) The new girls good.
Mr. Geller: (overacting) Thats a good one! Do you hear that Ross? Three days!
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book.
Mr. Geller: Oh, yeah you loved that glove! You took it every place you went. You never went any place without that glove.
Ross: Oh, I dont know how that got in there.
Rachel: How would you like to sit in a chair that fully reclines, has a rolling massage, and speakers in the head rest?
Chandler: Yeah, Id love to but Ive tried that so many times they wont even let me in the store anymore.
Chandler: (excitedly) Are you telling me that you bought the chair that is making all other lounge systems obsolete? The chair that Sit magazine called the Chair of the Year?
Chandler: Thats awesome! Thats great! What made you do it?!
Chandler: I thought I broke Joeys chair! Thats why I replaced it with mine!
Rachel: Ohhhhh. Thats how it got fixed!
(They enter Joey and Rachels to find that Joey has broken Chandlers chair.)
Rachel: Uh-huh! Nice try, but you dont get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! (Joey starts to get up.) No I take that back!
(Rachel and Joey both laugh at that suggestion.)
Chandler: Because you (Points to Joey) broke a chair and you (Points to Rachel) broke a chair! The only one around here that hasnt broke a chair, is me!
Chandler: Well, wheres the logic in that?!
Rachel: The logic is, that there are two of us and we are both strong enough to break a chair in half!
Joey: Thats right!
Phoebe: Because it was fate that made me call you today!
Phoebe: No! Think about it okay? This isnt even my regular job! Okay? And my first day on the job, youre my first call! And-and somebody else mightve hung up on you, but I wouldnt do that because I know about this stuff. My mom killed herself.
Phoebe: Im not gonna give you tips! Look dont you see that this-this this all came together so that I could stop you from doing this.
Phoebe: But ifno look, okay. These jerks might not care about you, but the universe does! And that says a lot!
Earl: (To All) Did you hear that?! I dont need you guys to care about me! Because the universe cares! The whole universe! (Laughs as everyone ignores him.) (To Phoebe) I really wished theyd care just a little bit though.
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
Mrs. Green: Thats true. You do have another child.
Chandler: That means nothing to me. (To Ross) Come on!
Rachel: Oh no, I'm good, I don't wanna get that turkey smell all over my hands.
CHANDLER: Hey, listen.� I'm never going to lie to you again, okay?� And I want you to know that nobody thinks you're stupid.
Joey: My Giant? I love that movie!
Monica: Wow! Play that message for Emily and this whole problem goes away!
Phoebe: And so engaged. (Points to the ring that Rachel is wearing.)
Mike: Woo-wo-hey-hey-hey... Can we not talk about that right now?
Joey: No! No, that was Jack! Rachel thinks I asked her to marry me!
(Joey gestures to show that he wouldn't dare...)
Rachel: And stop saying that! I hate that!
Ross: Dad seriously! Yknow you really should see someone about that!
Rachel: Well, let's see. There was a really big guy that I was talking to, with the really nice breasts...
Rachel: No, Im just kidding I would never do that to you! Okay, everybody, its trifle time!
Chandler: Isnt that what happened with you and the brides maid?
Monica: I cant believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it?
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Rachel: Okay great, hold on a sec! (She runs to her room and returns carrying a huge bag of laundry.) Oh, here you go! You don't mind do ya? That would really help me out a lot! Thanks!
Ross: Women tell each other everything. Did you know that?
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Joey: So uh, hey, that uh, that wedding ring, huh? Man, thats nice!
Ross: Oh my God. Ohh, my little sister and my best friend shaking up. Oh, thats great. Thats great. (Kisses and hugs her.)
SUSAN: Is your finger caught in that chair?
Monica: Why?! Why? Why, why would anybody do something like that?
Danny: Stop saying that. I hate that.
Chandler: Yeah, and not that you would, but I wouldnt hang out with all the guys in my office.
ROSS: Wow!� (pause)� Wow, You look . . . uh . . .�� It's just, ah . . .�� That dress . . . uh . . .�
Joey: Aww, I don't want to see that!
Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Phoebe: Oh wow. What, do you think maybe hes gonna tell you that hes gay?
Ross: Can you please not do that feet first? You know where his injury is! Severed toe, you just said it!
Phoebe: No, no, no, I wouldnt do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, Ill get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited?
Chandler: Well, don't we look nice all dressed up?...It's stuff like that, isn't it?
Phoebe: Well, Im going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)
CHANDLER: Well, invisible kids can be that way sometimes.
Chandler: Oh, dont thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work.
Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?
Chandler: (showing her the pictures) Heres a picture of Ross. (Shows another one.) And thats me. (Another one.) And thats me and Ross. (Another one.) Oh-ho, that is a picture of our first kiss as a married couple.
MONICA: That would be the work of a Blowfish.
Phoebe: Not that way! But the bike brought you a lot closer!
Monica: Oh thats so sweet! Look Chandler I dont care if you cant cry, I love you.
Phoebe: Oh yeah well, Im sorry about that too, but what are you going to do?
[Scene: Petes office, he is participating in a conference call with three other employees, each of whom are on a different TV screen that he controls with a remote.]
Phoebe: Why, do I have a feeling thats not as happy as it sounds? (Joey points out one going into the chipper to her, as this haunty, demonic music starts to play in the background) No! Nooooo!!! (she winces in horror and hides her face against Joeys shoulder, as she sees the tree spit out from the chipper.)
Ross: Uh, huh. Yeah, right after I thank everyone for giving money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey.
Phoebe: Thats not Ralph Lauren. Sounds like him though.
Rachel: Jo-Joey, look honey we-we need to talk okay? Umm, I kinda got the feeling from her today that uh, shes not lookin for a serious relationship.
Ross: That cup is mine!
Joey: Good-good, okay, sprinkle some of that on your legs, it'll absorb some of the moisture and then you can get your pants back up.
Ross: Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross "What are you doing?)
Phoebe: Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
Rachel: Am I the only one who doesn't think that she's hot? Ross?
Ross: (to Elizabeth) And that is why we cannot see each other anymore.
Phoebe: OK so isn't there a little part of you that wants to get up there?
Phoebe: Oh you�ll probably take care of that on your hands.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang's all there. Ross has a slip of paper that he throws on the ground tying to get Rachel's attention.]
Phoebe: Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. (Both Phoebe and Mike look really proud.)
Rachel: All right honey, we'd better go if we wanna catch that movie.
Monica: Chandler, look I-I know that your dad embarrassed you. I know
Rachel: Oh, thank God I can't hear a word that you're saying!
Rachel: Yeah I know, but one of them just said that she loved me so I just gave her everything.
Monica: A jazz trio for cocktails. The Bay City Rollers for dancing. Wait, that was from my sixth grade wedding.
Emily: and that was all before 10 oclock. The caterer rang and said it was going to be Chicken Kiev instead of Chicken Tarragon. And then the florist phoned to say there arent any tulips. Oh, and the chilliest has carpel-tunel syndrome. Were not gonna be
Ross: Joshua guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda yknow.
Ross: Oh, okay, yknow what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage...
Joey: That is incredible! You are the master!
Rachel: Yes, and I know that youd say no if he asked you, but Im sorry; how great would you look walking down the aisle in this Donna Carin. (shows her the picture.)
Phoebe: Oh.Okay, then it gets worse, 'cause then I told him that I would see him tomorrow night.
Ross: Im not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.)
Rachel: Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler.
Joey: Oh, were supposed to just get him a ticket?! That guy is always mooching off of us!
Chandler: Well, maybe it was the kind of food that tasted good at first but then made everybody vomit and have diarrhea.
Tag: Thats it. Thats my whole name.
Phoebe: Thats a dog, every house should have a dog.
JOEY: What? You think I'm too dumb to understand that a husband needs to be with his wife?� Huh?� Do you think I'm like, "Duh."� (He strikes himself in the head with the bat.� He stands dazed for a moment.)
Phoebe: Well, all right. 1700 bags of peanuts flying that high, thats pretty amazing too.
Ross: Well, I know the other day in the coffeehouse you were caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you? I mean can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
Monica: Oh wait, you know what, I got it, I got it, pretend like you just woke up, okay, that will throw her off. Be sleepy.
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Monica: Oh, come on its my wedding! That can be my present.
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
Chandler: That is amazing.
Liam: (puts his arm around her) Well, actually the last time you and I saw each other was that morning.
Monica: What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and-and-and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him!
Monica: Do you realize that four weeks from today were getting married? Four weeks baby!! Four weeks!!!
Monica: How do you do that?
Rachel: Well, someone was supposed to write "Rach, take down the lights" and put it on the re... frigerate... (finally noticing Monicas note stuck to the refrigerator) How long has that been there?
Monica: Oh, is it that pinball machine with the big bow on it?
Phoebe: Okay, well I think that they're in my purse. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for them.
Joey: Okay Rach, that muffin and espresso, $4.50. Ross, double latte, $2.75. Chandler, coffee and a scone, $4.25. And Pheebs, herbal tea, $1.25. So, all together thats (pauses to figure the total) $12.75.
Chandler: Whoah whoah, back up there, Sparky. What'd you mean by that?
Fake Monica: So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts...
Minister: May I have the rings? (He is given the rings) Emily, place this ring on Rosss finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. (She jams the ring onto his finger) Ross, place this ring in Emilys hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever.
Kyle: we talked through most of the night and we realized that the reason we were so angry at each other was because there are still feelings there. So (Pause)
Emily: I still cant believe theyre tearing it down. It really is the most lovely building youll ever see. I mean its over (She stops suddenly, when she sees that demolition has already started.) Oh my God!
Rachel: Monica...would you please tell Joey that he is a pig?
Monica: There's something that we wanna tell you. We decided to name the girl-baby Erica.
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.