words in movies
[Scene: A beauty parlour, Rachel is getting a manicure while Chandler, yes Chandler, is getting a petticure (Does that scare you that I know those terms? Well, it scares me.).]
Chandler: Thats a mailman! Thats our mailman! (Waves to the mailman) (Sarcastic) Hi. How are ya?
Rachel: Chandler, dont worry! This doesnt make you any less of a guy! (Chandler starts blowing on his fingernails like women do.) That does! (Chandler stops blowing.) What am I sitting on? (She looks and finds a huge nail.) I hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.
Chandler: Hey, you know who used to have nails like that?
Rachel: Well, heres another question for ya. Uhh, do you know what that silver knob on the toilet does?
Rachel: Okay, good. Now that since you know, when you come over would you mind actually using it?
Ross: No, its really not that bad. I mean, I-I for one, feel perfectly safe.
(At that moment two very large men start screaming and running towards Emily and picking her up.)
Ross: Oh hey, that was a good one, huh? (Imitating himself) Help! Help!
Devon: Do you realise that we have not seen each other since the night of that U2 concert?
Liam: (puts his arm around her) Well, actually the last time you and I saw each other was that morning.
Ross: Whats ah, whats so funny about that?
Chandler: Yes, I-I know that you do, but I think one of the reasons people were complaining though, was that they paid to hear the actor sing Old Man River.
Janice: Oh, look at us! Who wouldve thought that Cupid had a station at 14th Street Nails. (Does the laugh)
Chandler: Right! I just think that this is happening too soon.
Chandler: Okay, could you just stop talking for a second? (Thinks) Yemen. Thats right, yes, Im being transferred to Yemen!
Janice: Ugh, well I will just have to soak up every once of Chandler Bing until that moment comes.
Chandler: But I do know that its some time tomorrow.
Monica: This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them dont work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.
Phoebe: Oh my God, thats so freaky! Turn him off!!
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Joey: Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, I do that cause it makes me look taller.
Ross: Thats cause-cause youre moms dog kept-kept looking at me.
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Phoebe: Youre kidding! And he plays rugby?! Thats so funny. (Realises) Ohh! I see how you did that. All right.
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
(The player stands up and smiles. Showing that he has no front teeth.)
Ross: Come on! The time we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves and that one guy cut in line in front of us and I just lost it?! Screamed at him! Turned all red! Red Ross!!
Monica: I know that switch does something, okay? So-so I went down to city hall and got these. All I had to do was pay $25 and wait in line for three hours.
Janice: Oh please. Every moment is precious. Yknow? Besides, somebody had to ride in that other taxi with the rest of your luggage, and your friends dont really seem to care too much that youre leaving.
Chandler: Well, were really not that close. (Pause) Okay, so I guess this is uh, good-bye then.
Janice: On no! No! Its not good-bye, Im not leaving until you get on that plane.
Chandler: Okay. Then I guess its just, wait here then. (Hands her the sign that says, Wait Here.") (To the ticket agent) Hi. I need one fake ticket to Yemen.
Chandler: No. All right, yknow what, shes (Points to Janice) gonna think that Im handing you a credit card, but what Im really gonna do is hand you a library card.
Emily: I cant believe theyre doing that to him! I told them to go easy on him!
Emily: Thats just halftime, theres more of this.
Ross: Did you see me? I was pretty good, huh? That is one fun game!
Ross: (to Phoebe) Tell my son that I love him. (Emily returns with the water.) Excellent! Well, okay, I gotta have some more fun!
Ross: (whines "No.") Thats not true!
Ross: No, God no! That is no place for a woman. Those guys will grab anything.
Emily: No. Thats not what Im saying. I just may know a few things that might help you inflict some pain.
Ross: I like that.
Emily: And that big bloke with the beard, he has got a trick hip. Yeah. And uh, and David over there, I heard he doesnt wear a cup.
Ross: Yeah? I can use that, trick hip, no cup, okay! Okay!
Rachel: (noticing a bunch of pictures around the door that werent there originally.) What-what are-what are these?
Monica: I know that theres no hole there, I just really liked that picture.
Monica: Okay, but there is a wire back there! I mean that switch is connected to something!
Monica: I just thought that if I could follow the wire I could find out what it did.
Monica: No. It disappears back there behind that baseboard. For a minute there, I thought it went downstairs.
Ross: I made a man twice my size cry. I mean, I havent done that since I was four and I washed my dads Porsche with rocks.
Chandler: Janice! There you are! There you are! I had to have one last kiss, and also-also you said that you were going to leave right after I got on the plane!
Chandler: Believe me, Ive been saying that for years. Oh my God!
Ticket Agent: I cant do that.
Joey: Im not answering that.
Chandler: Joey! (Pause as they all stare at him.) No way. Im not answering that.
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Rachel: I know Mona, just hear me out. First of all, Im so sorry about my father yelling at you, but I heard you totally held your own. Youre gonna have to tell me how you did that.
Monica: I could do that.
Chandler: Whoa-ho, whoa! No, I was thinking about y'know for me, as a part of that whole getting over Janice thing you were talking about.
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
Phoebe: I would love that job!
Rachel: But you said that you liked him! I mean what happened?! Did ya just change your mind?!
Joey: I hate this woman!! I hate her! She told everyone in the company about that info-mercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. Okay, and whenever I cant do it, theyre all like-like laughing at me.
Katie: Oh, ow! Did Joey tell you to say that? You guys, (Punches Joey) are too much! (Punches Rachel.)
RACHEL: Yeah, who's gonna eat all our food, and tie up our phone lines, and - is that my bra? What the hell you doin' with my bra?
Monica: All right, that's a little sketch of the cake, umm some sample menus, umm y'know what I thought we would start out with Tuscan style finger food, and for music, here's an alphabetized list of all my CDs! I've highlighted the ones that would go really good with the food.
Phoebe: I can say I told you so but shes kinda doing that for me.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Roy: Ooh, boy. You should warn people there's no elevator! I should not have had that Mexican food for lunch.
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
Joey: Thatll be $3.85.
Phoebe: Oh my God, look! Thats Elizabeth!
Rachel: That is great. Hey, yknow who doesnt have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university.
The Producer: Im sorry, why dont we do that right now? Hes right here. (Points to a guy.)
Monica: Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?
Monica: (getting up) All right, Im gonna go to work. Does anybody have a problem with that?
JOEY: Na, na I'm ok. Oh and uh, just so you know, I'm not movin' back in 'cause I have to. Well, I mean, I do have to. It's just that that place wasn't really, I mean, this is...
Joey: See? Eh, wasnt that fun?
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So
Monica: Oh my God! We love that show! I mean Ross and I have been watching it since I can remember!
Monica: Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid.
Gary: That would be great!
Ross: Ohh, I-I see lotion, I have lotion! Will that work?
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
Chandler: That was like 5 years ago.
Mr. Zelner: If I in any way implied that I wanted to buy your baby I am sorry. Okay? Last week when I asked you when your due date was uh, I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was due your baby. Yeah, I want to be very clear that I understand that its your baby, and it is not mine to purchase.
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, but yknow, I think the reason were not getting that spin right is because my apartments too small.
Ross: Wh-wh-what line? The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say uh, (In a college frat boy voice) "Dude, dont you ever was your face?"
Ross: Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? Im not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. Im horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Yknow, something that says were moving forward without having to talk about it.
Phoebe: I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the left Philange.
Monica: (Gasps) What?!! You cannot tell him that!!
CAROL: Look I just thought that...
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Phoebe: If you could do that, Id marry the hippity-hop.
Rachel: I mean thats unbelievable.
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, it's just that with my last roommate Kip...
Phoebe: That true, I am flaky.
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!
Janine: Well, if thats what you want. Ill just put it all in my room.
Richard: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. (Monica grabs his hand in the tomatoes.) Thats my hand.
Monica: (Tiny laugh) yep, that's me, (tiny laugh) I am that stupid (tiny laugh).
Monica: (entering, to Joey and Rachel) Hey, did you guys know, that your oven doesn't work?
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Chandler: Yeah, we were just talking about that. I can't believe how stupid we used to look. (They both quickly push their sleeves over their elbows.)
Jill: Oh my gosh, that was so lame. Like a pajmena could be a rug!
Rachel: Yeah, I got that.
Passenger #1: Okay, that doesn't sound good.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi, Dad. No, no, it's me. (Getting up to move further away from Rachel) li-listen, Dad, I can't talk right now, um, but there's something, um... there's something that I've been meaning to tell you...
Chandler: No. I mean I believe that uh, certain people are more suited for each other and I believe in falling in love, but soul mates, I dont think they exist.
Ross: No, I just think Monica was that fat.
Joey: I'm tellin' ya that girl totally winked at me.
Chandler: Well the vet seems to think thats shes becoming a rooster. (The rooster crows.) Were getting a second opinion.
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
Ross: So, you gals wanna hand over your money now? That way, we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing.
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
Joey: Won't-won't that take longer?
Joey: Thats great! That would be great! Lets do that!
PHOEBE: Yeah, eight of them. That's 56 to him. You know also, if, if it's raining, you can't let him look up too long 'cause that cone'll fill up really really fast.
Rachel: Well, y'know, a little of this, a little of that. Got myself a date tomorrow night.
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
Phoebe: Thank you. Can you believe no-one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me?
Ross: That is so made up!
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Chandler: Thats what you should say.
CHANDLER: Believe me, sometimes that happens.
Phoebe: That is.
Phoebe: Oh thats not so bad.
Chandler: When youre marrying us; thats what you should say.
Rachel: (laughs) Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that aint a pretty picture in the morning, yknow what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know.
Rachel: Ross, I didn't think it would that big of a deal.
Phoebe: Oh, I know a way that you can decide! All right, I'm going to ask you a series of questions and you answer as quickly as you can.
Rachel: Okay, now what was that all about? Is it-does it not taste good? Let me try it.
ROSS: He won't? [remembers what it is] He won't! Because, isn't that, isn't that the, the short story you were writing?
Jen: Sure, I'll just get my coat. (There's a knock on the door.) Could you get that?
Jason: I was passin by and I saw that you were playing tonight, its kinda cool seeing you up there. (kisses her)
Phoebe: Oh God! Is that veal?
Monica: Yeah.. uh, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone.
Joey: Im not wrong! I wish I was. Im sorry. Bet that barium enema doesnt sound so bad now, huh?
Ross: So what, Joey? Wh-wh-what? What are you telling me? That theres nothing we can do? Well, how could this happen?!
Caitlin: Oh my God! That was flirting?!
CHANDLER: Oh, come on. I can never get a girl like that with conventional methods.
Woman: Oh my God. That sounds amazing. I would love to see pictures.
Rachel: Hey, now wait a minute! I get when you told people at first that you wanted to be an actor they laughed at you! Now come on Bobby, why dont you tell us a little bit about your band?
Chandler: I do like that.
Chandler: (thinks) Thats the perfect amount!
Gunther: Thats the whole part?
Phoebe: Uh, wow! Isn't it ironic that he liked you and now you like him?