words in movies
[Scene: A beauty parlour, Rachel is getting a manicure while Chandler, yes Chandler, is getting a petticure (Does that scare you that I know those terms? Well, it scares me.).]
Chandler: Thats a mailman! Thats our mailman! (Waves to the mailman) (Sarcastic) Hi. How are ya?
Rachel: Chandler, dont worry! This doesnt make you any less of a guy! (Chandler starts blowing on his fingernails like women do.) That does! (Chandler stops blowing.) What am I sitting on? (She looks and finds a huge nail.) I hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.
Chandler: Hey, you know who used to have nails like that?
Rachel: Well, heres another question for ya. Uhh, do you know what that silver knob on the toilet does?
Rachel: Okay, good. Now that since you know, when you come over would you mind actually using it?
Ross: No, its really not that bad. I mean, I-I for one, feel perfectly safe.
(At that moment two very large men start screaming and running towards Emily and picking her up.)
Ross: Oh hey, that was a good one, huh? (Imitating himself) Help! Help!
Devon: Do you realise that we have not seen each other since the night of that U2 concert?
Liam: (puts his arm around her) Well, actually the last time you and I saw each other was that morning.
Ross: Whats ah, whats so funny about that?
Chandler: Yes, I-I know that you do, but I think one of the reasons people were complaining though, was that they paid to hear the actor sing Old Man River.
Janice: Oh, look at us! Who wouldve thought that Cupid had a station at 14th Street Nails. (Does the laugh)
Chandler: Right! I just think that this is happening too soon.
Chandler: Okay, could you just stop talking for a second? (Thinks) Yemen. Thats right, yes, Im being transferred to Yemen!
Janice: Ugh, well I will just have to soak up every once of Chandler Bing until that moment comes.
Chandler: But I do know that its some time tomorrow.
Monica: This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them dont work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.
Phoebe: Oh my God, thats so freaky! Turn him off!!
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Joey: Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, I do that cause it makes me look taller.
Ross: Thats cause-cause youre moms dog kept-kept looking at me.
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Phoebe: Youre kidding! And he plays rugby?! Thats so funny. (Realises) Ohh! I see how you did that. All right.
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
(The player stands up and smiles. Showing that he has no front teeth.)
Ross: Come on! The time we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves and that one guy cut in line in front of us and I just lost it?! Screamed at him! Turned all red! Red Ross!!
Monica: I know that switch does something, okay? So-so I went down to city hall and got these. All I had to do was pay $25 and wait in line for three hours.
Janice: Oh please. Every moment is precious. Yknow? Besides, somebody had to ride in that other taxi with the rest of your luggage, and your friends dont really seem to care too much that youre leaving.
Chandler: Well, were really not that close. (Pause) Okay, so I guess this is uh, good-bye then.
Janice: On no! No! Its not good-bye, Im not leaving until you get on that plane.
Chandler: Okay. Then I guess its just, wait here then. (Hands her the sign that says, Wait Here.") (To the ticket agent) Hi. I need one fake ticket to Yemen.
Chandler: No. All right, yknow what, shes (Points to Janice) gonna think that Im handing you a credit card, but what Im really gonna do is hand you a library card.
Emily: I cant believe theyre doing that to him! I told them to go easy on him!
Emily: Thats just halftime, theres more of this.
Ross: Did you see me? I was pretty good, huh? That is one fun game!
Ross: (to Phoebe) Tell my son that I love him. (Emily returns with the water.) Excellent! Well, okay, I gotta have some more fun!
Ross: (whines "No.") Thats not true!
Ross: No, God no! That is no place for a woman. Those guys will grab anything.
Emily: No. Thats not what Im saying. I just may know a few things that might help you inflict some pain.
Ross: I like that.
Emily: And that big bloke with the beard, he has got a trick hip. Yeah. And uh, and David over there, I heard he doesnt wear a cup.
Ross: Yeah? I can use that, trick hip, no cup, okay! Okay!
Rachel: (noticing a bunch of pictures around the door that werent there originally.) What-what are-what are these?
Monica: I know that theres no hole there, I just really liked that picture.
Monica: Okay, but there is a wire back there! I mean that switch is connected to something!
Monica: I just thought that if I could follow the wire I could find out what it did.
Monica: No. It disappears back there behind that baseboard. For a minute there, I thought it went downstairs.
Ross: I made a man twice my size cry. I mean, I havent done that since I was four and I washed my dads Porsche with rocks.
Chandler: Janice! There you are! There you are! I had to have one last kiss, and also-also you said that you were going to leave right after I got on the plane!
Joey: Wow, Pheebs! That sounds great!
Phoebe: Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, youre just mean! (pause) So, just tell me the truth!
Chandler: Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think thats, I think thats really cool.
Chandler: Yeah. Is that a dinosaur tie?
Mike: Because I was told I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl. Which I did.
Phoebe: Well, on the bright side, now you won't have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. (Grabs a drink and notices that the two men are upset) Not you guys. You got it going on!
Monica: Uh-huh, that one!
Monica: Oh, shes gonna love that!
Chandler: Of course I'm awake. Assume from now on that I'm always awake! (He turns the light on)
Rachel: Well, I just lost a job, and I'd like to raise the bet five bucks. Does anybody have a problem with that?
Monica: (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5 (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jennys been giving it out since they moved!
Joey: That he doesn't exist.
(Chandler is quite pleased with that statement.)
Joey: But, hey, look, you know the good thing is, is that we spent the whole day together and I survived, and what's even more amazing, so did she. It was bat day at Shea Stadium.
Monica: Yeah, you really shouldn't. (to Ross, sarcastically) By the way, how was that year-long dig in Cairo?
Emily: I understand that would be difficult.
Ross: Oh that is so great! That's
{Transcriber's Note: Rachel has two friends that are not named, so I referred to them as Friend No. 1 and Friend No. 2.}
Mr. Tribbiani: I don't want you taking that thing.
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
Joey: What?! What good is that gonna do anybody?
Rachel: Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life Im doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life Im doing something that Im actually good at. I mean. if you dont get that...
Phoebe: Oh, Jack Bing. I love that. Ooh, it sounds like a '40s newspaper guy, you know? "Jack Bing, Morning Gazette. I'm gonna blow this story wide open!"
Alice: Right, not just that. Umm, even though we love each other as much as we do, none the less
Phoebe: Oh! Since tomorrow. I met this really cute guy in the park and he like y'know, jogs, and blades, and swims, and so y'know we made a deal thats hes going to teach me all sorts of jock stuff.
Monica: Okay well I think thats your answer.
DR. REMORE: Amber, I want you to know that I'll always be there for you, as a friend and as your brother.
Rachel: Okay. (Starts to go.) God yknow, if someone told me a week ago that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbianis apartment
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Rachel: Well, so, are-are you sure that there are three?!
Rachel: (scoffs at him) Yeah, thats gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest. Well I (leans into the microphone again) I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.
Chandler: You think we're ready for something like that?
Chandler: If you're cooking on the stove, does that mean that your new secret boyfriend is better in bed than Richard?
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?
Ross: Yeahno, just that last song.
Ross: Monica said that did she? (He squeezes Monicas knee really hardly and Monica winces in pain.)
RACH: Alright, fine, you go ahead and you do that, alright Ross.
Rachel: Yeah, Ill be fine. But could someone please make sure that sandwich is gone when I get out there?
Phoebe: Thats what I said.
Ross: I'm gonna pay for that tonight.
Phoebe: I dontshe said yknow that Id have triplets! But she also said one of them would be black.
Chandler: Yes that was mine.
Rachel: I know that too.
Phoebe: Thats not why youre going! Youre going because you hope hes gonna say, "Yeah, I love you too, Rach. Forget that British chippy."
Ross: Ugh, between the traffic that time of day and all the one-way streets itll take me twice as long. Besides, I teach the class three times a week, who am I? Rockefeller?
Monica: Hey, what's that?
Monica: What is that?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters and walks quickly over to the window to watch Rosss apartment. We see that Rosss apartment is empty.]
Phoebe: But they shouldn't happen, you know what, you're, you're in a terrible, terrible business. Oh God, I don't wanna be the person who makes your face look like that.
Monica: But you live here! (Ross rolls his eyes.) You know that.
Frank Jr.: Sometimes I think that.. Oh, no, no, no, I can't say it, it's too horrible. No.
Phoebe: (Takes mike) Thanks, hi. Um, I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year. (Shakes bell as an introduction) (Sung:)
Joey: Oh, its great! Its a great place to just kinda, sit, hang around, drink a few beers, eat some chips. (He says that as he sits, hangs around, drinks a beer, and eats a chip.)
Rachel: Hi! You might not remember us, but we are the girls that fogged you.
Joey: Saw the Porsche out there Mon, lookin good. When do I get to take that baby out again?
Ross: Really?! Wow! Thats-thats so nice, what are you gonna get me?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is showing off her new dollhouse. Its a huge dollhouse, that takes up the entire living room table.]
Chandler: Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay?
Monica: Okay thats it. I give up. At mom and dads 40th anniversary, youre the one giving the speech.
Chandler: You just, you look so different! Terrific! That dress! That body!
Monica: How did that happen?
Joey: Now thats a thinker.
ROB: The thing is, I think some of the parents, they were kinda hopin' that you'd play more songs about like, barnyard animals.
Monica: Oh, thats sounds great.
Ross: J-j-just relax, nobody yelled. Jack just was calling to make sure that you were getting better.
Monica: (To Joey) Okay, did you hear that?
(Paul reveals his presence by laughing, thus concluding standard sitcom joke 2B. Paul then pulls Ross aside to have a little chat with him and tells the rest of the group that hell just be one second.)
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
Phoebe: Cliff, do you really believe that a character from a TV show was here in your room?
Joey: Hey, Ross, you're okay with that?
Mike: How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that.
Drunk Man: I just want to say that Ross is a wonderful young man.
Rachel: Okay no way, you cannot use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin.
Frank Sr.: Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
Rachel: Yeah but, you dont, you dont, you dont want to try to much too fast. Yknow? I mean, you do remember what happened to the little girl that tried to much too fast dont you?
Phoebe: That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel?
SUSIE: OK, well then who was the kid that got caught masturbating?
Monica: All right then, go fight for her! Go to London! I mean, that could be you and Emily! (Points to the TV.) That, but-but nicer. Just, go to London!
CHANDLER: Well, that makes me feel so good.
Joey: But hey, listen just so you know, you might have youre work cut out for you. Cause when I talked to her, I kinda got the feeling that shes into some other guy. So
Ross: Thats a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things.
Rachel: Oh my God! Thats so great! Im so happy for you guys!
Ross: Uh-huh, I see that.
Joey: Thats Fergie baby!!
Chandler: Then why didnt you tell me to do that?!!
Rachel: Okay uh, but before you do that. I-I, I need you to talk to me.
Rachel: Awww, stop. Come on. Now go shave that head!
Rachel: Sure, you know what? Come on, well just tell them that there was like a problem with like the "engine".
Phoebe: Oh thats so sweet thanks.
Monica: Look, I know that you're in a place right now where you really need to hate Julie's guts, but she didn't do anything wrong. I mean, she was just a girl who met a guy, and now they go out. I really think that if you gave her a chance, you'd like her. Would you just give that a chance, for me?
Chandler: Yeah, Im putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy then, then thats what were gonna do.
Chandler: Yes that was a nice place!
Bob: I want to talk to that bastard, see what his problem is.
Rachel: So, pretty much around the same time that you started telling this story.
Rachel: I dont know. I dont know how I feel. This is all happening so fast. I have to make all these decisions that I dont want to make. (Takes another sip of champagne and spits it back out) Somebody just take this away from me!!
Ross: That was going to be my next argument.
Joey: (frustrated) Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?
Ross: (laughs as well, but for a different reason) Yeah, I didnt think of that.
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
Amanda: Oh! Bugger. Should I not have said that? I feel like a perfect arse!