words in movies
Monica: Oh, that is so sweet. (Touched, she puts an arm around her friend and kisses her.) Oh gosh, love you. Insurance?
Rachel: Oh, yeah, check it. Definitely, I want some of that.
Monica: (Looking around to check that no-one's listening, then lowering her voice anyway) That's insurance fraud.
Monica: (Tiny laugh) yep, that's me, (tiny laugh) I am that stupid (tiny laugh).
Ross: Anyway, suddenly I'm down field, and I realise that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right? Only I know there is no way I'm gonna get there in time, so I am running, and running, and that, that is when I woke up. See I, I am so not ready to be a father.
Joey: When's that?
Joey: Oh, man. What're the odds of that happening?
Chandler: Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit.
(Joey gestures to show that he wouldn't dare...)
Rachel: ..so, he said it was just a sprain, and that was it.
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
(Ross is so startled that he throws his arms up to defend himself. The box takes off, then lands with a squishy thud, its contents oozing out onto the floor. Ross is not pleased.)
Rachel: Was that the cake?
Mr. Geller: I tell you one thing, I wouldn't mind having a piece of this sun-dried tomato business. Five years ago, if somebody had said to me, here's a tomato that looks like a prune, I'd say "get out of my office!"
Mr. Geller: No. Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business. I wasn't around that much. Is that what this is about?
Mr. Geller: 'Cause there's time to make up for that. We can do stuff together. You always wanted to go to that Colonial Williamsburg. How 'bout we do that?
(Ross is so moved by his father's charming story, that he stops eating.)
Rachel: Oh, that's great. Look at that.
(Rachel joins Monica who is in the kitchen area, opening the wine bottle. Rachel checks that the doctors aren't listening, then lowers her voice anyway.)
Dr. Rosen: (Nervously) okay, but you have to admit that every time we go out... Women we meet at the hospital... It turns into...
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Monica: (as Rachel) (Revealing her anger to point at her best friend) We both do that!
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi, Dad. No, no, it's me. (Getting up to move further away from Rachel) li-listen, Dad, I can't talk right now, um, but there's something, um... there's something that I've been meaning to tell you...
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
(Ursula is genuinely pleased that her sister has visited her, after so many years. Phoebe hesitates over how best to begin.)
Nurse: You're that stupid.
Monica: (as Rachel) I am. I'm that stupid. (Little laugh.)
Nurse: Well, you know your insurance will cover that.
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah, I know... (mirroring her friend) ..I'm I'm just not that bright either.
Nurse: (angrily) You go get that animal outta here.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
Joey: No, no, no, don't say "listen." I know that "listen." I've said that "listen."
Phoebe: (as Ursula): Yeah, um... (nervously clears her throat) You know you, you should just forget about what I said under the bridge, I was talkin' crazy that night, I was so drunk!
Joey: (Thinking carefully) no. No, I, I couldn't do that.
Chandler: Hey, come on, you came through, you did what you had to do. That is very dad.
(All of a sudden, Marcel grabs Ross's finger with his whole fist, and he squeezes it, so tight, that Ross finally knows what it is to be a father. He looks up at his friends, who smile encouragingly, Rachel tenderly resting her chin upon Monica's shoulder. Ross realises that Chandler was right and he's gonna make a great dad!)
Monica: I thought that was a good thing.
Monica: Yeah thats right.
ROSS: Actually it's the movie theatre that has the time schedule. So you don't miss the beginning.
Rachel: Yeah thats actually a pretty good idea.
RICHARD: Nice moustache by the way. When puberty hits that thing's really gonna kick in.
Ross: Oh yeah, Id love that.
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, we never had that,
Phoebe: Oh! Well, if thats what you want
Monica: You guys! Do you realize that any minute now, Phoebe can be pregnant?
Ross: I think that would be best.
Ross: We fell asleep! That is all.
Chandler: I made that joke up.
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
JOEY: Whichever one you want, man. Whichever one you want. [Chandler starts to sit in one of the chairs] Not that one.
Mr. Treeger: Could you tell Jasmine that I won't make it to yoga class today?
Phoebe: Oh thats a nickname we were trying out.
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Ross and Joey: Oh! Thats nice.
Julie: Thats why you broke up with me?
Ross: Actually, it wasnt that close.
Ross: Oh I, I dont-I dont think that would be the best idea.
Mrs. Geller: (incredulous) You dont know how that happened?! Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy!
Chandler: He can do more than that! He can destroy the universe!
Ross: That is one good looking man!
Monica: Phoebe thats crazy!
Monica: I cant believe you. You still havent told that girl she doesnt have a job yet?
Joey: Is that true? If I keep reading is Beth gonna die?
Chandler: Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the brides maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, youre not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya?
Chandler: Yeah, Im not in that.
Chandler: You didnt bring me here to do that, did you?
Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
Phoebe: (Looking relieved. She puts down the phone.) Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you dont want to talk about it, thats fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and...
Rachel: Oh yknow what? Yknow what? Now that you know what you want you should go to Kleinmans and get it half off. This place is so overpriced.
Ross: That is precious! Listen! I need Rachel's flight information.
Monica: (to the couple) Hi! Can you do that and walk? Cause she said, "Next."
Phoebe: Yeah, but you always say that.
Ross: Thats right! Thats right! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat so the pee goes everywhere!
Joey: (still skeptical) Yeah, look how that worked out.
Ross: Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box)
Monica: Is that all?
RACHEL: Oh my God this is sooo humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
PHOE: No offense, but that sounds nothing like her.
Erin: Yeah! That would be great!
Monica: Well, I know that would make Joey happy, so, I would like that too.
Rachel: Well, let's see... uh... I know that she has a meeting with her lawyer and then she has to make a very big poop. Why?
Joey: (smiling) That sounds fair.
Donny: O-kay... Henrietta, you didn't get all the points you needed, so that means Gene, you are going to the winners circle to try for ten thousand dollars! (Gene is clapping his hands looking very happy and so is Joey) And you're gonna be going there with Joey Tribbiani (Both of their smiles fade away instantly)
Phoebe: Okay, remember that little problem I was having during my fourth month of pregnancy?
Ross: Well sorry, thats what I do on dates.
Phoebe: That wasnt a date! That was, that was just friends getting together (quietly) having sex.
Phoebe: Thats right, you just enjoy.
Joey: Yeah that dog left!
Joey: No! No! No! You guys were totally right! This is so much better than the first time we went out. Yknow? That was so awkward, we were really nervous.
[Scene: Phoebes office, she is arriving without the knowledge that shes been fired.]
Chandler: So, you heard it, you repeated it, so that must mean you wrote it.
Chandler: Okay, it's just that dogs make me a little uncomfortable.
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
Ross: Oh, Im actually on my way to tell her right now. Yeah, shes been away all week visiting her parents, but shell be cool. I mean, shes been so supportive. She-she even got the baby a tiny T-shirt that says, Fossils are my friends.
Rachel: Now that she broke up with you?
Phoebe: Oh, no umm, hi, that-that, you have to put that out, cause Im pregnant.
JULIE: Um, oh, I don't know. I mean, it's definitely weird not being with Ross, but I guess I'm doing OK. Actually I've got some of his stuff that he, um....
Mike: I'll tell her that it's over tonight at dinner. I promise.
ROSS: Pheebs, I have studied evolution my entire adult life. Ok, I can tell you, we have collected fossils from all over the world that actually show the evolution of different species, ok? You can literally see them evolving through time.
Joey: All right well, Id better take that back.
Rachel: Now, she thinks that I made out with him and I did it to get her job.
Ross: Oh really! Why is that?
Chandler: That sounds like my first bike. (They all turn and look at him.) My dad gave me his old one.
Kate: No, thats not it. So, youre a soap actor? Well this must be pretty exciting for you to be in a real play, hmm?
Monica: Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Ticket Agent: Oh Im afraid that plane has already pulled away from the gate.
Monica: Wow! It took you all night to come up with that plan?!
Rachel: (entering, angrily) Ugh, that was so embarrassing! I can't believe you let me go on and on like that!
Rachel: Well, Im really sick of your smoking, so I brought something that is going to help you quit. (hands him an audio cassette)
Ross: Thats crap!! Sister Brown Bird. (to Elizabeth) Good going. (does the salute)
Chandler: It means that my guys won't get off their barcaloungers and you have a uterus that is prepared to kill the ones that do. (pause) It means...
Joey: Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... (Joey looks at the photograph) ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. (Joey looks for his notes. The man next to him is chewing something.) Dude, where's my speech? (the man swallows something and looks at Joey.) That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. (he applauds and Al shows that there's nothing left in his mouth.)
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Phoebe: Okay, dont panic. Im gonna go to the store, Im gonna get you another set of nails, no ones gonna know, and youre gonna look great. (She runs over to get her coat.) Oh! Oh, its cause theyre gonna eatthats the problem.
Phoebe: Oh, but, could we not go together? I,I don't wanna be the geek that invited the boss.
Chandler: Okay. Okay, now wait a minute that was totally different.
Ross: Ah, no Mon, Dad had to buy everyone of your boxes because you ate them all. But ah, y'know Im sure thats not gonna happen this time, why dont I put you down for three of the mint treasures and just a couple of the Rudolphs.
Joey and Chandler: Yeah, thats her.
Frank Sr.: Well no, just-just that one. But, it was stupid. Let's see, how did it, how did it go. Umm. (Singing.)
Ross: Thats it, your doing great.
Monica: What am I gonna do?! That is the dress! That is the dress! Wh Chandler wants the band. What do I do?
Rachel: Ah, why, now I can't get a massage? There are so many things that she disapproves of! I can't eat veal, I can't wear fur, I can't go hunting...
Chandler: Oh, then no thanks. What the hell was that? Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.
Tag: Thats kinda sad.
Mr. Zelner: You wrote that you have a cute touchie?
Joey: Maybe thats the problem.
Monica: Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos.
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Ben: Santa has reindeers that can fly!
Joey: Wow, thats in like 20 minutes. Youd better get dressed.
Joshua: Umm, that was really great, but I-I gotta take-off actually.
Phoebe: You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you.
(She turns the tree around so that her side, which is perfectly decorated, is showing)
PHOEBE: I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick.
Joey: What is Rock 'n' Roll about that?
(Joey thinks that sounds familiar, but dismisses the thought.)