words in movies
Joey: Boy, that guy's underwear sucks!
(Chandler tries to comprehend that remark.)
(We see Ross through the window and he acts like a swimmer that gets attacked by a shark, picture one of the many, many, many Jaws movies they made and you get the idea.)
Joey: (waving) Very funny Ross! Very life-like and funny. Okay. (Notices that a woman is waving back.) Oh no-no-no, I wasn't waving at you lady. (She just stares at him.) (Joey sees how beautiful she is.) Whoa, maybe I was! Hey, Monica, this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me.
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
Joey: Tell me about it, huh? (Realizes that she can see Monica.) Oh no-no-no, I'm not with her, she's just Monica! (He pantomimes that out.) Ewwuck! (He pushes Monica away and makes a disgusted face.)
(It's only when the camera cuts to Ross's apartment that we see that the TV is turned off and Ross is indeed doing a bit. He then tries to hide his smirk.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day, Gary is kissing Phoebe good-bye.]
Phoebe: But it's just so unfair that our date has to get cut short just 'cause some guy shot at a store clerk.
Phoebe: Yeah, it's weird. I can't help it though he's so sweet, he's like this little puppy dog, y'know? But like a really tough one that shots bad guys. Ohh, I just love beginning parts of relationships, y'know?! You just like can't keep your hands off each other.
Phoebe: So-so how long did that last for you and Chandler?
Monica: (Start annoying hyper-competitive mode now.) (Jumping up) What don't you just calm down Phoebe! All right?! Why dont you just get all your facts before you run around telling everybody that you're the only hot couple!!
Monica: Oh no, it is okay, I mean as long as you know that Chandler and I are also very hot and fiery, just as hot as you! I mean our flame, whew, is on fire!
Rachel: (We see a flashback as Rachel describes what happened.) All right, we were shaking hands and he kinda leaned toward me Y'know maybe he was going to open the door, but I totally miss read him and I uhhh (The flashback shows that she kissed him on the cheek.)
Joey: I bet that kiss isn't looking like such a big mistake now, is it?
Joey: Oh Rachel look, don't say that, I think you just need a hug from Joey. Come on. Come on. (She hugs him and Joey looks out the window.) She's back! Hot girl's back!
Joey: Yeah. Sorry about that. (He walks away and knocks on the next door which is answered by a little girl.) Oh, hey little girl. Uhh, is-is your mommy, or sister, or babysitter by any chance a hot girl?
Mr. Zelner: (Sees that she has some ink on her lip from her pen.) Oh Rachel, uhh (He points to his lip to get her to notice the ink on hers.)
Rachel: (stopping him) Wh-whoa! All right, okay-okay, I see, I see what's going on here! Now listen, look-look, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I am not some hussy who will just sleep around to get ahead! Now even though I (He tries to interrupt and tell her about the ink), hey-hey-hey, even though I kissed you, that does not give you the right to demand sex from me. I do not want, this job that bad. Good day, sir. (She storms out of his office.)
Rachel: (entering) Ugh, you will not believe what that sleaze-ball from Ralph Lauren did too me!
Rachel: Okay-okay that-that's amazing. How did you know that?
Gary: I don't know man, we're really not supposed to do that.
Monica: (That annoying competitiveness thing kicks in again, what the heck is that with her and why must the writers show it every flippin' episode?!) Oh, we're not seeing a movie!
[Scene: The lobby in Ross's building, we see a flyer that is on the bulletin board that reads, "Are you the Hot Girl who waved at me? If so, give me a call!" and it's signed, Joey 629-9*** (The last couple of numbers have been ripped off). Anyhoo, Ross is getting his mail.]
The Man: (To Ross) Excuse me. (He puts up a flyer that has a sketch drawing of Joey and it reads, "Warning! Intruder! If you see this creep - call the cops!") You should check this out, tell the other tenants. Apparently he's running around looking for some kind of a hot girl.
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)
Jen: Sure! That would be nice.
Chandler: That was amazing!
Chandler: That was amazing.
Monica: (looking out the window) Hey Joey! Isn't that the girl that waved at you the other day?
Joey: I did not know that! Thank you Monica. (Starts to leave) I can't believe I almost lost another girl because of counting.
Jen: Sure, I'll just get my coat. (There's a knock on the door.) Could you get that?
[Scene: Mr. Zelner's office, Rachel has come back again to try and do that second interview.]
Mr. Zelner: That's quite all right, but I feel obligated to tell you that this meeting is being videotaped.
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
Rachel: Zelner! Right! I knew that! I really, really want this job and I think, I think I would be really good at it.
Rachel: Okay, well then how about a handshake? (She goes to shake his hand but misses and touches his groin.) Oh God I'm sorry! Oh God, I'm sorry! I did not mean to touch thatI mean you there. There. Uhh, okay, so thank-thank you, I'm going to leave now thank you very much uh-huh, thank you soHey! I'll see you Monday! (Exits.)
Gary: So uh Chandler, you like that badge I got you?
Monica: I hear ya. Excuse me for just a second! (Gets up and heads for the bathroom as that annoying Gotta-win-at-all-costs-super-competitive thing kicks in again.)
Chandler: Ugh, we have already proved that we are hot! Okay? So why-why are you getting so obsessed about this thing?!
Monica: I feel really sad that we're not really there anymore.
Chandler: Oh wow! Is that what this all have been about?
Chandler: Yeah that was great. That was really great! But to tell you the truth, I'm more excited about where we are right now.
Chandler: Yeah! I've never been in a relationship that's lasted this long before. Y'know to get past the beginning and still be around each other all the time, I think that's pretty incredible. And the fact that this is happening all with you, yeah I think that's pretty exciting. (Kisses her.)
Monica: That is so sweet. I know that I was acting a little crazy but umm, I feel the same way.
[Scene: Looking through Ross's window, he's doing more pantomimes. The first one is he's walking a dog that has stopped, then suddenly tugs him forward.]
(We see through the big window from the outside and see that Monica and Rachel have pictures of their faces pasted onto cardboard cutouts of Pamela Anderson and Yasmine Bleeth wearing their Baywatch swimsuits.)
Ross: Look, I-I know its not a proposal and I dont know where you are, but with everything thats been going on and with Emma and Ive been feeling
Joey: Thats okay. Chandlers the one Im mad at.
Chandler: It's just that we've never spent any time, you know, alone together.
Tag: Wait-wait a minute; that doesn't make any sense.
Joey: Aww, man. Thats the girl I was hiding from. When she finds out hes my roommate, shes gonna tell him what I did.
Pete: Look, the only who stands to get hurt is me. And Im okay with that.
Joey: Well, I think its ridiculous that you havent had sex in three and a half months.
Joey: (to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job.
Chandler: Is that what this is about? You like Caitlin?
Monica: (closing the door) Its unbelievable! I-I cant believe that sign didnt work!
Chandler: Please don't do that again, it's a horrible sound.
Joey: Yeah! You did! And thats why Im leaving.
Joey: Oh, a wiseacre. (Mike looks bewildered). No, no, no, I understand you plan to support your wife by playing the piano? Isn't that kind of unstable?
JOEY: Absolutely.� You'd do it for me.� Not that you ever have to because I know how to keep my women satisfied.
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
Chandler: Oh, thats-thats okay, no problem. (He starts to look around her office.)
Monica: Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. Just give me a chance to figure that out.
Chandler: Oh yknow, Ive been living here a while and Ive never seen whats inside that closet. What is, what is in there?
Chandler: That’s sweet, honey, but save something for the adoption Lady.
Joey: Come on who? Who do you like? Tell me. You're not getting away that easy. Who do you like, who?
Ross: So I guess you bought that book after we broke up huh?
Monica: I swear I didnt. (To Ross and Will) Hey! Is that why you guys used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door?
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Monica: Ross you know that tonight is your date with Hillary?
Monica: That didnt work on mom, its not going to work on us.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, thats the word I use when I cant remember the real thing.
Will: I actually know what youre talking about. Im here to tell you something my friend, you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void.
MONICA: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
Monica: See, Ive been waiting my whole life to be engaged, and unlike some people Im only planning on doing this once. So, uh yknow, maybe this is selfish and Im sorry about it, but I was kinda hoping tonight could just be about that.
Joey: Im sorry but weve got to get rid of all this girlie stuff in here. I, uh, I got to be a man! Okay. The living room has to remain a guy place, okay? Thats just the way it has to be.
Rachel: Oh, yknow I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I(Chandler puts a forkful of the cheesecake in her mouth.)Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this? (She reaches over to look at the label on the box.)
Rachel: Ugh, Ross! That was not a near death experience! That was barely an experience!
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
Ross: That must be our alcohol and beers! (Gets up to answer it.)
Gary: Listen Chandler, the way I see it is that I was lucky enough to find someone that I really love. I justI wanna be around her as much as I can.
Joey: Yes we do! Now look, that was the best nap I ever had!!
Kathy: Oh, wow. I cant believe youre throwing that in my face.
Chandler: Do you think that theres a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as youre driving into town theres-theres like a sign, and it says Youre in Sample. (He says it like urine sample.)
Phoebe: I cant say that didnt hurt. But Ill take you back Joey Tribbiani.
Phoebe: No! You don't have to do anything! Just don't tell them that we know!
Ross: No, actually I was just saying it looks like we're not sitting together. But now you mention it, there was ice there that night... It was the first frost...
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, Monica, I'm really happy you got promoted, but cold cucumber mush for thirty-something bucks? No! Rachel just had that, that, that salad, and, and Joey with his like teeny pizza! It's just...
Monica: Really! That long?! (Chandler slowly turns and looks at her.) (To Chandler) Look all you want, its happening!
Phoebe: No! Wait! I was just saying that so youd think I was a good person. Fight for me.
Joey: Look its not that bad. So what, it blocks a little of your door, a little of my door.
Joey: Hey Mr. and Mrs. Geller! Let me help you with that.
Nurse: (not sure what to do with that) Okay
Janice: On no! No! Its not good-bye, Im not leaving until you get on that plane.
Paula: Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy..
Phoebe: But ifno look, okay. These jerks might not care about you, but the universe does! And that says a lot!
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Ross: Wow, I hadn't thought of that. I hope not.
Monica: All right, so now that Ross knows can you tell us yknow how it happened? I mean, when did it happen? How many times did it happen?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
Monica: That is a wonder. So tell me something, Mom. If you had to do it all over again, I mean, if she was here right now, would you tell her?
ROSS: Dad, you really don't want to do that.
Chandler: Yeah, but Sebastian? What is that? A cats name?
Monica: Listen, uh, you told me something that was really difficult for you. And I, I-I figured if you could be honest, then I can to.
Monica: Listen, Im sure that dad doesnt care. He probably thought this was funny; hell be telling this story for years!
Joey: Yes thats the one about the soldiers who fight in World War I!
Phoebe: (Visibly excited) Yeah!! Let's do that!
Ross: Okay, well, well call the company that sent her!
Phoebe: Oh thatd be me. Sir. (Hands him the cell phone.) After you.
ROSS: That sounds great. Same for me.
PHOEBE: Oh. Well is she, is she the first that you've been with?
Chandler: Ok, you're going to have to stop that, forever!
Ross: I dropped him off at Carols. (To Phoebe) Anyway, it turns out that Im not going to be able to get those tickets though.
ROSS: Let's, let's take this outside? Who talks like that?
Doug: Sorry? Finally chewed my leg out of that bear trap. Hey, congratulations to you guys though!
Chandler: Oh, well, ah... maybe thats because theyre ah... jealous, of us.
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Chandler: (notices something) Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? (Pause, no one speaks.) Someone comment on the pants!
Ross: Ok, ok, here we go. (he crouches down near her stomach) Ok, where am I talking to, here? I mean, uh, well, there is one way that seems to offer a certain acoustical advantage, but...
Joey: Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.
Monica: Good? Didn�t you hear them...I was great! Thank you so much for making me do this. That�s is the best gift ever.
Ross: That was just the pants on the couch. Umm, hey, do you, do you mind if I use your bathroom?
Monica: Well, an-anyway, I justthat night meant a lot to me, I guess Im just trying to say thanks.
Woman: Thatd be great, thanks. (Gunther goes and gets them.)
Conan: I-I heard some of you guys talking about this earlier, but sometimes theres just a word that someone has to say that youll get hung up on. And itll justthe way you say the word is funny to everybody else.
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
Joey: Whom. (Everyone looks at him shocked.) Thats right.
Roy: No, no, you're right. Who am I kidding? I should have hung up that breakaway jockstrap years ago. What am I gonna do? I mean, this has been my life for thirty two years. Taking my clothes off in front of people is all I know.
Ross: Yeah. So um, I-I heard about this ah, Mark guy that ah, Rachel met today.
Chandler: Well, have you guys made anything that maybe I can take credit for?
He's finally happy with that and walks away.]
Kim: Rachel didn't you just light that?
(Notices Ross looking at him and stops. Ross gives him his 'quiet down' maneuver. Okay, this may take a while to explain, so center this on you screen and place your hands about a foot apart with your fingers together and pointing straight up. Now take you fingers and point them at the other hand and making a 90-degree angle with each of your hands and the first knuckle counting up from the wrist. Now take your right hand, no your other right (that was for the dyslexics), and lower it a couple of inches, so that the fingers are pointing at your wrist. Now take your arms and keeping the elbows bent and your hands in front of you spread out your arms, kinda like making a bird's wing. Now hunch your shoulders over and move you hands up and down as if you are trying to tell some one to turn it down. That's Ross 'quiet down' maneuver. Well, there is an accompanying face, but I don't want to try and describe it as well.)
Rachel: Honey that sounds like fun.
Ross: Oh, I know. Yknow what, I never wouldve gotten this if it werent for you. No really, when Im with you Im-Im like this whole other guy, I love that guy! I mean, I love you too, a lot, but that guy! I-I love that guy!
Chandler: Youll be perfect for this! Thats already your name!
Rachel: (looking at her fingers) Oh my God! Let me see that! (Grabs the book from him.)
Chandler: I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!" (Ross looks at him.) And it starts right now!
Joey: Oh, I chose not to hear that.
Chandler: What about all that friends forever stuff?
Joey: Hey, that guy's going home with more than a note!
Ross: I mean we dont want to go down that road do we?
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
Mrs. Green: Thats true. You do have another child.
Chandler: That means nothing to me. (To Ross) Come on!
Rachel: Oh no, I'm good, I don't wanna get that turkey smell all over my hands.