words in movies
Ross: Yes, she is this new professor of my department that I did not kiss.
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Rachel: Ah, why, now I can't get a massage? There are so many things that she disapproves of! I can't eat veal, I can't wear fur, I can't go hunting...
Rachel: I don't care about any of that!!
Chandler: (embarrassed) I cannot believe Ross told you that! (pause) And in my defense, it was a Wendy's!
Chandler: Yeah, ok. I'm sure that doctor's office can't be worst than on a class trip to the Hershey's factory!
Joey: (sipping red wine from a glass) Who says that wine has to cost more than milk!
Charlie: Oh, you mean it? That would be so fun!
Phoebe: Ok. Do we have to talk like that then they're not around? (She sees Rachel) Oh, no, no! Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me?
Phoebe: But that woman can't know I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful this massage chains are.
Phoebe: 'Cause it's good money! But that doesn't change the fact that this is an evil blood sucking corporate machine!
Joey: Yes. It's just that she's so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated! Combined! I don't want her to think I'm stupid!
Joey: Right, right, right, well, she wants to go to all this cultural places and I don't know how to talk about that stuff. You gotta help me out!
Ross: Yeah, uh, uh, ok, there's this great rare bookstore on Madison Avenue. You know what? She loves architecture, you know what you should do? You should take a walk down fifth to the Saint Patrick's Cathedral and there there's this great little pastry shop that she'd love.
Chandler: I have a weird feeling about this place. (pause) How do I know that they are not gonna secretly videotape me and put it all over the internet.
Monica: Because, honey, I mean this in the sweetest way possible, nobody is gonna wanna watch that.
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
Chandler: Deposit my specimen? You know, usually I have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk. Thanks, got it.
Rachel: No, it's just that uhm... it feels so good... Ikea... (pause) Yeah, say hey, you'll know this, what's the capital of Sweden?
Rachel: Damn! I wish I knew if that was right!
Ross: Ok now, remember, when you get to the museum, Monet is not spelt M-O-N-A-Y. I just... I wrote that out phonetically for you.
Ross: Yeah, yeah that means... you know? We just... we don't have time for this.
Ross: Ok, but you know what? I gotta say, I'm really impressed that you were able to memorize all this so quickly!
Ross: Wow. What does that mean?
Chandler: I haven't... I haven't even thought about the results yet... I just assumed that everything was gonna be ok.
Chandler: (smiling again) oh, oh, yeah, ok, thanks. I can't believe I didn't even think of that. I guess I was just so worried about having to... come here and do... 'that'...
Phoebe: (Singing) "Ipan Stripan, Glupi Glabi! " And that is the Swedish National Anthem! Thank you for asking! (looks annoyed)
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu... and why do you think that is?
Rachel: Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much, you should walk out there right now and quit! Be true to what you believe in! Honey, you have principles and I so admire that! I don't have any!
Phoebe: Okay (walks out and closes the door behind her, looks up and whispers) If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you.
Charlie: Well, for one, he was talking about paintings that were nowhere around.
Charlie: Actually, you know, Joey is your friend, and you don't really know me that well; it would be weird.
Charlie: Well... I'm just thinking that maybe he's not the right guy to be with right now, maybe I should be with someone... I have more in common with. You know what I mean?
Ross: (slowly) Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else.
Ross: And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, that's the kind of guy Joey is.
Ross: That was going to be my next argument.
Joey: (aside, to Ross) Hey Ross! That art stuff worked, you hooked me up.
Joey: Although some of that stuff wasn't where you said it was gonna be, but... (confidently) I made it work.
Chandler: (picking up a plastic cup similar to the one he deposited his specimen in) It is not okay that I'm aroused by this now.
Chandler: Hello? Oh hi, Doctor Connelly. (pause) No, she's not here but, you know, I can tell her. Should I be sitting down for this? (his smile fades as he hears the answer) Oh. (pause) Well, so what does that mean? (pause) Ok. Ok, thank you. Thanks. (hangs up)
Monica: Oh... what does that mean?
Chandler: It means that my guys won't get off their barcaloungers and you have a uterus that is prepared to kill the ones that do. (pause) It means...
Chandler: (seriously) It means that we can keep trying, but there's a good chance this may never happen for us.
Chandler: Yeah, we talked and Monica made me see that I over reacted a little bit and some things in life are more important.
Ross: Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way (he turns her hand upside down) which uh, which was misleading. Well Im (He goes at sits down at his new table and the kids stare at him.) Hello.
Monica: It's that terrible?
Guy: No, you, you cant fit in that thing. Thats not deep enough.
Ross: Whats that on the bottom?
Chandler: Oh no no no no, I'd love to be somebody's assistant! Answering phones, getting coffee, I live for that stuff! And I'm not too mature... farts, boobies, butt cracks!
Rachel: Honey um, honey, you do realise that we dont keep the womens lingerie here in the office?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: (to Chandler) Eh, do you believe that?
Rachel: (looks touched) Joey, you never..you never talked about that before...
Rachel: (understands that Monica and Ethan wanna be alone) Hey, did you guys check out those new hand-dryers in the bathroom?
Ross: What is that? (refering to the sandwich)
Woman: What does that mean?
ROSS: Oh, man. Oh, remember when I stuck that broom in your bike spokes, and you flipped over and hit your head on the curb?
[Scene: Later that evening at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler and Monica are sitting on a sofa. Chandler is covering his face in embarrassment because of the toast.]
ROSS: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad.
Ross: Well, that makes sense.
Monica: Wha... How the hell is that gonna help?
Phoebe: Yeah, after this, I think he'll be doing that himself.
Joey: Yeah, I-I think that women just have a lower threshold of pain than men, thats all. I mean, come on, its just a little wax.
Ross: He's in! Oh, did you hear that, Marcel? San Diego. San Diego!
Ross: (grabbing the wheel) What-what are you doing?! Are youOkay thats not funny! Just stop horsing around!
Chandler: Oh my God, how did you do that?
Chandler: Yes, yes, its just that we ah, we kinda all ready, made plans with Ross.
Joey: Well, I only said that because of Ross, you know. Then I saw him kissing Charlie...
Rachel: Im not here! Thats just my Chinese food!
Monica: I heard that!
Ross: The one that always stares at me when I come in?
Joey: Your folks are really that bad, huh?
MNCA: Not that bad? Did you hear the hammer story?
Monica: (very emotional) Because... We may not be who she thinks we are but no-one will ever love that baby more than us.
Evil Bitch: Shes in labor! You like that you sick son of a bitch!
Rachel: Can you not look at me when I say this? (He turns around) I thought that if I could get you here, I could seduce you.
RACHEL: Actually, what I think you said was, "don't touch that, and get the hell out of my kitchen."
Monica: Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
Mrs. Geller: What that Rachel did to her life.... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well.
Ross: Well I I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! (The girls all laugh.) What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! (The laugh harder.)
Rachel: (angrily) No! All right?! I did not see the bird! I did not see the fish! I did not see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson! I did not, because I was trying to teach you how to sail a boat! Which obviously is an impossible thing to do!
Joey: I cant tell you that, no.
Joey: Ross and Rachel left us a message saying they were getting married! Isnt that why you guys are here?
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
Chandler: Oh thats great, with my luck, thats gonna be him.
Phoebe: Sure, yeah, no I can do that, yeah, because umm, y'know, the muscles in the siadic area can get yknow, real (lifts up the towel) nice and tight. So umm, tell me Rick, how umm, how did you injure the area.
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
Ross: Joeys asking if youve just ruined the first book hes ever loved that didnt star Jack Nicholson?
Monica: That�s right, because I forbid you to smoke again.
Joey: Oh, yoii. What was that for?
Phoebe: I-I cant find anything that I want to eat! Everything I eat makes me nauseous! Im telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cakeooh! Cake! (Chandler shrugs, and Phoebe grimaces.) No.
JULIE: That saves us a conversation.
PHOEBE: I know. We didn't do any of the romantic things I had planned, like having a picnic at Central Park and ya know, coffee at Central Perk. Oh I just got that. [They kiss.]
Chandler: He was asking all these questions about you, me, and London. And, of course the glue that holds this all together, the rules.
Chandler: (to Monica) Okay, how many of that girl are you seeing?
Ross: Thats excellent.
Janine: Yeah, thats what I said.
Monica: That was me.
Ross: Thats okay.
Monica: Thats okay.
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, what brought that on?
All: Oh thatd be great. Sure!
Rachel: Well, hey! How about right above the TV? (Points to the spot where her famous French poster is hanging). That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door!
Monica: Oh, that is amazing!
Nurse: Im sorry, that information is restricted to hospital staff
Phoebe: Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?
Ross: You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break theice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, sothey'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one...
Ross: Hey, that guy did not hypnotise me! Okay.
(They head in separate directions and Chandler emerges and hes so shocked that his cigarette is hanging from his lip.)
Joey: (obviously cold) Hey, can you close that window Chandler? My nipples can cut glass over here!
Ross: Yknow we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby thats half human and half pure evil!
Rachel: Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
Ross: Well, it was the only thing to do there that didn't have a line.
{Transcibers note: Ill finish that one for those of you who dont know what theyre talking about. Where the towels are Hers and Hers and His, Threes Company too! Yeah, thats the theme song for Threes Company.}
Monica: Thats because their nerves are probably deadened from being so stupid. But hey, y'know if you dont believe me, please, by my guest.
Chandler: No, no, no, you say that proudly.
Rachel: Okay? Wait okay, tell-tell me that you like him, please? I mean tell me that you like him.
MONICA: Listen you guys, I don't mean to be a pain about this but, um, I've noticed that some of you are just placing them on. You wanna push the caps until you hear them click. [she demonstrates, Gunther starts to walk to the door] Gunther, where're you going?
Rachel: Oh, no, no! I heard you before, that is so not what this is!
Joey: Thats a uh, thats a tough combination.
Joey: Yeah. (Pause) Hey, I hope Ross didnt think that we just went in there because we were uncomfortable being out here!
Phoebe: No! Think about it, its a taxi that people take when they need to relax, its
RACHEL: Hey. Whe-ell, look at you, finally got that time machine workin' huh?
Chandler: It doesnt matter because nothing beats a three and a six. That my friend is D-Cup. Okay, now much have you won so far?
Rachel: That is it! You just barge in here, you don't knock
Chandler: Well, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one cant get mad.
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
Chandler: Honey, isnt it possible that the company that sold the jeans made more than just the one pair?
MONICA: Two? TWO? How is that possible? I mean, have you seen you?
Phoebe: Oh! Okay, that actually makes more sense. So how was it?
Ross: Wow! Thanks, you guys. Thats uhohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. Ill be right back! Okay? (Runs to fetch them) This is so nice, ImI am so (starts to break up and leaves)
Ross: I would never do that!
Mark: Wh-what's that?
Rachel: Ok well, well I'm really, I'm sorry about that Joey, but do you think that maybe on some level, you don't want to take off my bra?
Mona: How can I be sure on that?
Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you.
Phoebe: What? (He leans in to kiss her.) Oh. (They kiss and Phoebe pauses.) Ooh. (Pause) Whoa! That one kept going. (Exits.)
Joey: These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all...stop lastin'. Listen, uh, what do you say I buy you that cup of coffee now?
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Ross: Not that big a deal? It's amazing. Ok, you just reach in there, there's one little maneuver, and bam, a bra right out the sleeve. All right, as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing a guy can do that even comes close. Am I right?
RACHEL: And then, I don't know, I mean you'd pull me really close to you so that, so that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty and uh, and blurry, and then it's just happening.