words in movies
{Transcriber's Note: Rachel has two friends that are not named, so I referred to them as Friend No. 1 and Friend No. 2.}
Joey: Well, thats really a different question.
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Joey: Well, there was that one time that Monica and Rachel got together.
Joey: Okay, but lets say there was. How might that go?
Phoebe: Oh, that is so unfortunate.
Monica: (entering from bedroom) Okay, Ill be back in just a minute. Oh, Phoebe Im sorry that I left lipstick marks on the phone.
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) Thats why I moved out.
Ross: Hey, y'know while were on that, when are you gonna tell my sister that you dont live here anymore.
Ross: Phoebe, she doesnt know that you sneak out every night, she doesnt know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesnt know that youve been living with your Grandmothers for a week now.
Chandler: Well lets see, there was the guy with the ferrets, thats plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing Bing! Great apartment Chandler Bing, Bing!
Ross: Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesnt really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think its gonna make a difference
Eric: Oh, mostly fashion, so there may be models here from time to time, I hope thats cool.
Chandler: Yes, that is cool. Because I have models here y'know......never.
Joey: Ah, y'know just in general people being gay, thing. Im totally cool with that.
Monica: Hey-hey-hey. You wanna hear something that sucks.
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
Chandler: Okay, but after that, were shootin some pool.
Rachel: Thats all right. (to her friends) I mean hard is it to get a couple drinks right, huh?
Rachel: Im serious, I really, I think I need just to have some...meaningless, sex y'know, with the next guy that I see.
Rachel: Oh, but thats okay.
Monica: Oh, thatd be great.
Monica: Bye! (to Chandler) Ten bucks says, I never see that woman again in my life.
Monica: Oh, well dont take it to the same place you took the stereo, cause theyve had that thing for over a week.
Eric: Thats weird.
Chandler: Oh, dont thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work.
Monica: You want some help with that?
Joey: Thats a uh, thats a tough combination.
Monica: I dont believe this! When someone asks you in for lemonade, and to you that means they wanna have sex?
Phoebe: That was supposed to be a good thing, I forget why. Just listen, Monica, I, do you know, okay, do you know, I couldnt sleep for like a month because I got like a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions.
Phoebe: Aw, honey its not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I dont see that happening.
Joey: They do that a lot. Hey, you want a beer?
Phoebe: Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
Chandler: Oh yeah, that sounds great. (starts to leave) Oh, and listen, its, its gonna be....
Phoebe: Well, thats not something a girl wants to hear.
(She hits the jukebox Fonzy style, and Its That Time of Season starts to play, as they start to kiss.)
Ross: You-you just said that you did!
PHOEBE: See, I didn't know that.
Joey: Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, okay? And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump...
Rachel: Can I see that for second.
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
Rachel: Fine! I judged you. I made a snap judgement. But you did it too! And you are worse because you are sticking to your stupid snap judgement! You can't even open up your mind for a second to see if you're wrong! What does that say about you?
Joey: Um-hmm! Look, I-I-I don't know how much more of this I can take! Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs! My God! What if that had been porn?
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
Chandler: Well, I have a call in about that.
MONICA: This is so wild. Ya know, I gotta admit, I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date.
Joey: That doesnt sound like thinking to me!
Phoebe: No, no, thats the ghost for the attic.
Ross: Dad so what we have to pretend that were married?
Ross: Yknow what? I think I can take care of myself, Ill talk to you later. Good-bye. (Hangs up the phone and turns to find Jill sitting really close to him.) Whoa! Uh, that was your sister actually. She-she thinks that youre just using me.
Monica: Hey, don't say that! You got just as good a chance as anybody else of getting that job!
Phoebe: Y'know what that means?
Charlie: Well, for one, he was talking about paintings that were nowhere around.
ROSS: (seeing her also) Yeah, 'cause life's just that kind.
Frank: Okay, but isnt sex better when its with one person that you really, really care about.
Ross: Thats not true! Her, she doesnt even know what she wants! Rachels still mad about the whole thing.
Monica: If you would stop thinking about Ross for one minute you would notice that there are great guys everywhere! I mean, look! Look, Gunther! (Gunther turns to listen in.) I mean, he's nice, he's cute.
Casting Director #2: Thats where you pick up the bag.
Ross: Oh, wait! Wait! Dont you have an audition today? Yeah! Maybe youll get that job!
Monica: Can you go any faster with that?
Chandler: What would she get for herself for two thousand dollars that she wouldn't tell me about?
Phoebe: (on phone from Central Perk) Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.
Monica: All right. Honey, thats-thats a sleeve. Okay?
Rachel: Okay. All right. (Gets up.) Honey listen. When I tell you what Im about to tell you, I need you to remember that we are all here for you and that we love you.
Monica: Oh wow! Okay. Dont scare me like that okay? I mean for a minute there I was like, "Oh my God! The worst has happened!"
Ross: Marsha, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like 'Gee, that glacier's getting kinda close.' See?
Ross: No! No! Im not! Its-its-its perfect! I mean its better than you just-just moving here, cause its us together forever, and thats-thats what I want.
Phoebe: No he wont. And thats not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now yknow what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I dont have my principles, I dont have anything!
Monica: Oh God Phoebe!! (Phoebe covers one ear.) Oh thats it! Thats it! Right there! Oh! (Tries to cover the other ear.) Ooooh-oooh-ooooh (Covers both ears and continues the massage with her elbows.)
Monica: Thats right! You lose sucker!! (Pause) Please still marry me.
MONICA: I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob.
Joshua: No, no-no, no-no, my point is that I kept coming back because, I wanted to see you.
Rachel: Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. Zelner called me and he said we'll do everything we can to get you back. And that I should thank some Ron... I don't even know what department that guy's in.
Chandler: Uh, what about yknow the massage thing? That never gave you a heart attack.
Judge: And finally that you were unable to consummate the marriage. Well, that makes sense since youre gay and addicted to heroin.
(At that suggestion Monica starts laughing.)
PHOEBE: Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.
Lauren: (at the window, shes looking down out of the window) What do you got down there, Vic? What do you got under that tarp?
Chandler: Really?! You do that?
Kathy: Can you really do that?
Monica: That is sooo not true!
Emily: He does that?!
Joey: You're a lucky man. You know what I miss the most about her? That cute nibbly noise when she eats. Like a happy little squirrel, or a weasel.
Gary: Yeah, I-I considered that. I just know it would make me happy.
Joey: Hey, no way, that roosters family!
Chandler: Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store weve been too and I cant find the perfect ring! (Goes over to another display counter and starts pointing at rings.) Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! (Notices that one of the jewelers is watching him.) Its a beautiful selection. (The jeweler walks away slowly.)
Monica: How would that go? (they kiss) Well, it didn't rhyme, but I liked it.
Joey: Nothing, hes just really believes in that.
Rachel: I know, I remember that!
Phoebe: Yeah! No, thats right. And I thought it was a really good idea.
Chandler: Oh, dont say that! Dont say that. Thats not true. Is it?
Chandler: Is that a real thing?
Ross: You know what I don't care. The only person I cared about getting dressed, is the one person that says she's not even gonna go. Look Rach, I'm sorry. Okay. Look, I-I wa, I was a jerk. I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there, I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can show you how much, how much I want you to be there.
Rachel: Uh-huh! Nice try, but you dont get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! (Joey starts to get up.) No I take that back!
Joey: What?!! Thats even worse!!
Monica: Why would I say anything? That two of our best friends could start the greatest love affair of their lives! And they would have me to thank, and we could all start having babies?
JOEY: It's my VISA bill. Envelope one of two. That can't be good.
Monica: All right, thats it, were going to the emergency room.
MR. GELLER: You know, that Steffi Graf has quite a tush. I'm just saying, it's right there.
Monica: Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
Phoebe: After that? Yeah! No, I mean if I can help.
Ross: About about sex? (Joey looks at him confused) That I hadnt had sex in months?
Joey: Yeah, thats one naked hooker!
Phoebe: Yes! Shes very excited about that.
Emily: Ross umm, theres something that Ive got to tell you, theres-theres someone else.
Chandler: Hello Phoebe, I've been thinking about you all day. (He's holding the phone so that Monica can hear it as well.)
Charlie: I guess. There was hum... (she breathes deeply) there was another reason that I thought it was time to end it with Joey. I started to realize that I was having feelings for someone (pause) else.
Julio: Things that move me. The, the shadow of a tree, a child laughing, or this lip. (points to her lip)
Rachel: Okay, you hard worker! Ill remember to put that in your evaluation.
The Dry Cleaner: Thats my wife!!! Get out! (Starts yelling at him in Russian, and Im betting hes not saying pleasant things about him.)
Monica: YeahOh thats right. You, you always wanted me too. Hey, I see you got your mustache back.
Chandler: No. No. Actually I forgot, what is the deal with that again?
Joey: Rachel, there you are! Come on, lets serve that dessert already!
Monica: Well, it was good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that?
Monica: (At a loss for words) Boy, that was-that was, umm terrific.
Rachel: Oh, come on! You think thats gonna work on me?! I invented that!
Rachel: Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that. Oh wow! Whats this?
Monica: And what if I was still fat? (To Chandler) Well, you wouldnt be dating me, thats for sure.
Chandler: Y'know what, hes right. Theres something like uh, ammonia in that, that like kills the pain.
Rachel: Stop it! I will kill you. I hate the fact that my room is so small.
Phoebe: Ooh, I gotta go. I found a guy that who could fix up the van for catering.
Chandler: That sounds good. I'll call you- or you call me, whatever...
Ross: (speaking with his mouth full) Yeah, I mean, all things that guy... (looks at the cookie) These are amazing!
Rachel: Oh thats right. Youre the talker. (They both reflect on that briefly) Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues.
[Cut to later in that episode. Ross is showing his boss his new place and notices something in the window.]
Chandler: (after they've left) Okay, did you see that?! With the inappropriate and the pinching!!
Chandler: Now you do that, youre on TV.
Chandler: Yeah that was stupid. Lets not do that.
Phoebe: I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother.
Rachel: Wow, thats great Ross, Im sorry we werent more supportive before.
Chandler: Yeah, thatd be much worse than being 28, and still working here.
Gavin: Thank god you finally said that, I saw you make a note on your pad three hours ago. (Rachel throws away that paper) Man, I really bug you, don't I?
[The next flashback is from The One Where Eddie Moves In. It's the sequence where Joey and Chandler are both saddened that they're not living together anymore. All By Myself is playing in the background.]
Charlie: Actually, you know, Joey is your friend, and you don't really know me that well; it would be weird.
Roy: I don't know... I can make my pecs dance... I can pick up a dollar bill with my butt cheeks... I can go to that special place inside me where I feel no shame.
Kate: Happy?! Is that what Im supposed to be Vic? Happy?