words in movies
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
[Scene, The Airport, continued from last season, Rachel is waiting for Ross to come of the plane, when she sees he's coming off with another woman.]
Rachel: Oh, there you are! Hi! Oh, so, so, how was China, you? (Hits him with the flowers.)
Rachel: I am? Oh, look at that, yes I am. Enough about me, enough about me, Mr. Back from the Orient. Come on. I wanna hear everything! Everything. (Looks at Julie)
Rachel: Ok, well, not a problem. We'll just use them to stop the bleeding. Ok. Baggage claim? Ok.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is waiting for Rachel to return from the airport with Ross.]
Monica: I'm telling you, she went to the airport, and she's gonna go for it with Ross!
Chandler: Ok, I think she's trying to tell us something. Quick, get the verbs.
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
Ross: The screaming guy?
Julie: And the spitting?
Rachel: And the chicken pooped in her lap. Oh, I'm so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didn't I? Oh! It's just, I just heard this story in the cab, and it is all I can think about.
Ross: But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig.
Ross: Well, we just wanted to say a quick hi, and then we're gonna go see the baby.
Rachel: Bye. (She closes the door and everyone tries to sympathize with her.)
Chandler: So what the hell happened to you in China? I mean, when last we left you, you were totally in love with, you know.
Rachel: Go-go-go-go, come on! (Ross goes over to the counte) (to Chandler) So uh, what did you find out?
Chandler: He said...he said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself! Without any outside help whatsoever.
Rachel: How is that the silver lining?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and the gang is watching Sumo wrestling on TV.]
Ross: Ironically, these are the guys who were picked last in gym.
[Cut to Phoebe and Monica in the kitchen.]
Monica: Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine?
(The phone rings.)
Joey: (answering the phone) Hello? Oh, hi. Yeah, hold on a second. Ross, it's Julie, for you. (Throws him the phone.)
Chandler: Okay. You have to stop the Q-tip when there's resistance!
Rachel: (taking the phone and hanging it up) Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.
Rachel: I know you did. I'm just gonna deal with it, I'm just gonna deal with it. (Ross comes by, smoching with Julie on the phone.) I gotta get out of here. (Exits)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning.]
Monica: (to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.
Joey: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
Chandler: Well, in spite of the yummy bagels and palpable tension, I've got pants that need to be altered.
Monica: (to Phoebe) You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.
Phoebe: Yeah, but this (makes Monica's face) isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this (makes Monica's face) is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person.
Monica: She's the actress that was in Disclosure, Indecent Proposal, Ghost!
Frankie: How long do you want the cuffs?
Chandler: At least as long as I have the pants.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is recovering from her haircut, Phoebe is playing her doctor and is coming in from the bedroom.]
Ross: How's the hair?
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
(They go into the bedroom leaving Joey and Rachel alone.)
Joey: Look, Rach, Rach! I've been with my share of women. In fact, I've been with like a lot of people's share of women. The point is, I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you.
Ross: (entering from the bedroom) Hey, what's goin' on? (Pats Chandler on the shoulder which causes him to jump.)
Joey: No way. I've been going to the guy for 12 years.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. (Chandler and Ross stare at him) What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Chandler: Come on, Monica, things could be worse. You could get caught between the moon and New York City. I know it's crazy, but it's true.
Rachel: (sticking her head in from the balcony) Wait, are you leaving?
Ross: Okay. (goes out onto the balcony)
Joey: Hey, when the doctor does that hernia test...
[Out on the balcony]
Ross: Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a complete idiot?
Ross: Well, then, I think, I think the guy is scum. I hate him. I mean I actuallyI-I physically hate him. I always have. You are way too good to be with a guy like that.
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Rachel: No, I think that was the whole all.
[Cut back inside, Joey is on the phone.]
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
Rachel: No. No no no no no. That's Rodney McDowell. Andie McDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes.
Rachel: Okay, very cute braces. Anyway yknow what, the point is Tag, start looking because you are going to find those contracts on your desk. (She goes into her office.)
Chandler: The reason we havent told them were together is because they hate me, okay? So will you fix this?
(there's knocking on the door which Phoebe opens)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a drink as Phoebe enters with the fur coat.]
Ross: (returning from the phone.) So, I just picked up a message from Emily, she and Susan are going to a poetry reading together!
Monica: Okay, heres your milk. What do you want to talk about? (She sees that Chandler has fallen asleep and slams the door loudly to wake him up.)
[Time lapse, they're still on the ride along and Joey is just sniffing his sandwich.]
Monica: And the eye!
Rachel: Okay, uhm... alright, here's the deal.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, well Yeah, no use wasting this baby, just lyin around the house.
Waitress: Hey Monica, theres a customer who wants to complement the chef, should I let him in?
Ross: Duh, you think? (enters the kitchen)
Phoebe: Great! Okay, good for you! (as they leave she slaps Rachel on the butt)
(Mike enters the apartment.)
Phoebe: Okay, not a fan of the tough love.
Joey: Oh, thats, thats ah, one of the old ones, hes just taking it to the back.
Ross: My God. Rachel! (He walks towards her, grasps her hands and kisses her on the cheek.) Your here. I cant believe it. (She giggles.) What happen? Why are you here?
Chandler: Y'know what, it doesnt matter, cause she picked me. Me! From now on I get the dates and you have to stay home on Saturday nights watching Ready, Set, Cook!
Ross: (Thinking it over) Sure! (Takes one) Hey, I just found out, I get Ben for the holidays this year.
Phoebe: Well, one of you has to take the first step! And it should be you, because shes the one whos leaving. Its harder for her!
Chandler: Hit yourself in the tooth?
Phoebe: Im sorry, but I just wrote the best dance song for your wedding. Check this out. (Gets ready to play.)
THE END
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are entering after the play. Phoebe and Joey are already there.]
Tag: How could I have left them in the copy room?
(Chandler enters from the bathroom)
Ross: Oh, great! Listen, oh I had to get you a whole new battery. I got you the best one I could, cause thats not where you want to skimp.
Eric: Just seeing her brought it all back. All the lies, the way she used me. I just I got so angry just looking at her (Looks at Phoebe) face.
(Larry goes to leave but heads the wrong way and makes a quick sidestep to go out the right door.)
Girl: Why dont you look in the mirror, scrud.
Chandler: I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...
Rachel: (now looking up at the ceiling) That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say.
Rachel: In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it (Looks down onto her desk and finds the folder with the Post-It on it that contains the contracts she imagined she gave Tag) that said, "Must go out today." So you just keep looking in there! All right?
Joey: A monologue? I don't have.. (sees the book he was reading before for his "dramatic reading") I got it. (hangs up) (announces to the room) Aah! so... I'm gonna take off!
MIKE: I'll get it.� (He lunges across Ross's lap on the sofa to reach the phone.� Ross stares at him with wide eyes.)� Hello?� Ross's place.� Mike speaking.� (pause.� Hands phone to Ross)� It's for you.
Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. Im sorry.
Monica: Hi! Umm, Im Monica Geller, Im the chef at Alessandros.
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
Joey: Ok! All right, well... I'm gonna see if I can get a room for the night and I'll... I'll see you later!
Joey's Co-Star: Not if we extract tissue from the original host body, synthesize antibodies, and introduce them into your system, which could stop it from rejecting the brain.
The Security Guard: I'm just taking you outside!
Mr. Geller: Ive been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mothers right, I do look like an ass.
Colleen: The bathroom is down the hall, to your left.
PHOEBE: [pauses the tape] Ok, Ben, this is the part where Ernie buries Bert in the sand and can't find him. Now, I've looked ahead on the tape and he does find him again. But, ok, before that happens, there's some pretty rough goin' for a while but I think we can handle it. And, there's just the alphabet but we know that ends well so. Ok, here we go. [starts the tape again]
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
Rachel: Well, maybe the next batch, we could all get some.
(The oven timer pings in the kitchen.)
(He runs off to the kitchen.)
All: Oh! (They stop hugging her to let her out and resume the hug without her.)
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Charlie: No, no, no, not the Mets, the MET, singular!
Monica: Why? What did you do in the bathroom?
Phoebe: (catches it) Nah, I don't feel like playing. (She sets the ball down on the table and everyone gasps.)
Phoebe: Hey!! (The bucket starts smoking.) The charity's on fire! Help! (Yet another guy walks by carrying a cup, which Phoebe grabs.) Oh good! Thank you, I need that. (She throws onto the smoldering fire. Suddenly the bucket erupts in flames.) Whoa! What is that?! (She sniffs the cup.) (To the guy.) It's nine o'clock in the morning!
Rachel: Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me.
Ross: No-no, I took them from the hotel lobby. Yeah, they think they can charge me for some dirty movie and a bag of Mashuga nuts, they got another think coming. (Starts to leave.) Hey! My sweater! Ive been looking for this for like a month!
Chandler: No, its not! When I looked at the other ring I could see Monicas face when I gave it to her, yknow? And I could see her saying yes. When I look at this ring, all I see is a ring! Unless I look at it really closely and then I can see my own eye. (Does so and laughs.) Look, this is the most important thing Im gonna do in my life. I wanna make sure its perfect.
Charlie: You're on fire! I'll call you in the morning, okay?
Monica: Limited seating my ass. Lets see who made the cut. (To the couple sitting to her right.) Hi!
Joey: I have to go to the bathroom too, but I dont want him complimenting my thing.
(Ross goes to the kitchen.)
(He goes back to the kitchen.)
Joey: Yeah. I'll see you in the morning.
Phoebe: Ohh, you and your ways. (She shakes the bell at him and sits down.) Since its Christmastime. Im going to be one of those people collection donations.
[Scene: Rachel's hotel room. Joey is standing at the door, facing Rachel]
Ross: My first time with Carol was... (He mumbles the last part)
Ross: Look Rach if-if you want to go for a ride in the Porsche Ill be glad to take you for a quick spin around the block.
THE END
Chandler: Wow! So tonight may be the night! You're nervous?
(The triplets stare at him.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler enter to find Phoebe there with the triplets.]
(They shake hands, he walks out and shuts the door, then seems to change his mind, moves to open the door, than changes his mind again and leans over the door. Just then, Rachel opens the door)
[The next clip is from The One With The Jellyfish.]
Ross: The kid...? (To the kid) Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck.
Chandler: I wanna quit the bank!
Phoebe: Hey. Here. (Hands Chandler a copy of her flyer and sees the picture of Ralph.) Ohh, whos the silver fox?
Rachel: Well yeah, I wish that you would. (He opens the top drawer.) Well, no its not in there! (Closes it.) How about that drawer? (She points to the bottom one and he opens it. She doesnt see the folder she planted and bends over to check.)
Male Guest: (to the Maitre d') Good evening. (Shakes his hand)
(All are returning from the street after picking up dropped lottery tickets)
Joey: (after Ross leaves the room) aaand SEND! (he hits the send button)
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I'm having another one! This one doesn't hurt eitherOoh, yes it does! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! (Checks under the blanket.) Oh, I was kinda hoping that was it.
Joey: What’s the matter?
Chandler: (sighs) Just one more thing. I was so pissed at you that night that I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, who does Ross like the more than anybody?
Chandler: Okay, but this is the last time. (singing) With a chick-chick here, and a chick-chick there. Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick-(Joey enters)-chickeeeen.
Donny: Okay. Give me sixty seconds on the clock please... Ready, GO! (runs off)
(The machine picks up the phone)
Chandler: Hello? Is someone on the line?
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it Oh My God, Im a woman!!!
Joey: London baby!! (And Rachel slowly closes the door, sadly.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch still staring at the screen.]
Chandler: Sure! Thats one of the great things about being engaged. Im not nervous talking to pretty girls anymore.
Joey: Hey Chandler can I talk to you for a second (points to the hall).
Phoebe: Come on! The boss that fires a guy thats just been dumped, bitch! And the woman who dumps a guy thats just been fired, blond bitch!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's trying to teach Joey French, so she's sitting in front of him with the script in her hands.]
Ross: Hey! Howd the ah, basketball go?
PHOEBE: Hey. Oh thanks for the great movie tip.
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
[Scene: The hallway]
Rachel: We took our apartment back!! (Slams the door shut.)
Phoebe: Please, Monica? In the hall?