words in movies
Phoebe: (not amused) Ha-ha. (She sits down on the couch.) No, its just Im so pregnant that Imy guitar doesnt fit anymore. So I thought til Im not, Im just gonna play all my songs on this drum. It sounds really cool!
Alice: (laughs) No. No. No. (Sits down.) Okay, now, see, I wanna name the girl baby Leslie, and Frank wants to name one of the boy babies Frank JR. JR.
Chandler: Wouldnt that be Frank the III?
Alice: Dont get me started. (To Phoebe) Anyway, umm, since there are three babies and umm, we both got to put our names in, we would be truly honoured if you named the other boy baby.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are getting ready to go to the airport.]
Emily: I left a bra drying on the shower rod, you dont think your son will think its yours and be horribly traumatised?
Emily: (checks the clock) Ohh, its time to go.
(They kiss but are interrupted by a knock on the door.)
Carol: (knocking on the door) Ross!
Ross: Ill be right there. (He goes over and opens the door to Carol, Susan, and Ben.) (To Ben.) Hello! (To Carol.) Hello! (To Susan.) Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan.
Ross: Look at you two, bonding, making us late for the airport so
Joey: Ooh-ooh, Pheebs, you want a strong name? How about, The Hulk?
Phoebe: No, Im-Im not sure about Hulk, but I like the idea of a name starting with "The."
Joey: Oh well, hey, Joeys loveable too! But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, hell be there.
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
Rachel: Hey, Mon, if you were hoping to sleep with Joshua the first time tonight, which one of these would you want to be wearing. (Shes holding two frilly, lace nighties.)
Rachel: What am I making him by the way?
Monica: Yeah, you were, but you decided to make salmon because you had some left over at the restaurant. And then you realised if you (Points at Rachel) bitched about it, then you (Points to herself) would stop cooking, and you (Points at Rachel) would have to make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke.
Chandler: And now youre giving me the message!
Ross: Turns out them Emily is just crazy about Susan. Yeah, theyre going to the theatre together! Theyre going to dinner! Theyre going horseback riding!
Ross: Hey, theyre going to the gym together! Two women! Stretching! Yknow they-they take a steam together! Things get a little playfuldidnt you see Personal Best?
Phoebe: Yeah, I definitely. I dont like the name Ross.
Phoebe: No! No! I-I meant for the baby!
Phoebe: Well, its just yknow that something like this would never to like The Hulk, yknow
Ross: Actually that-thats not true, in The Incredible Hulk uh, No. 72, Dr. Bruce Banner found (Sees everyone staring at him and stops.) Yknow, ugh, nevermind, my girlfriends a lesbian. (Leaves.)
Joey: All right look man, I didnt want to bring this up, but Chandler, is the stupidest name I ever heard in my life! Its not even a name; its barely even a word. Okay? Its kinda like chandelier, but its not! All right? Its a stupid, stupid non-name!
Rachel: (sees the chick and the duck) Oh, yeah, Im sorry. They used to live here; sometimes they migrate back over.
(Rachel gets up and ushers them into the hall, as they pass Joshua, he leaps onto the counter to avoid them. Rachel drops them off in the hall, and knocks on Joeys door.)
Joey: (answering the door.) Hey, how did you do that?! Come on in. (He brings them inside.)
Rachel: But, theyre across the hall! I mean thats two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
Joshua: Yeah-yeah, its this huge place, and-and its got this gorgeous view of the park, and very, very romantic. What do you say?
(He moves to kiss her, but stops when he hears the duck.)
Ross: (opening the door.) Hey!
Ross: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh, by the by, did it uh, did it ever occur to you that, I dont know, maybe they might be having a little too much fun?
Ross: Yknow, the kind of fun, you and Susan had when we were married.
Ross: Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Yknow? Say-say theyre coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, theyre laughing, yknow, someone innocently touches someone else Theres electricity, its new. Its exciting. Are you telling me there isnt even the slightest possibility of something happening?
Joshua: and even though none of the other kids believed me, I swear to God, that duck pushed me!
Joshua: Yeah, yeah, let me show you around. This is the uh, downstairs living room.
Joshua: Hey, heres an idea. Why dont uh, I put the food in the fridge and we can eat it later?
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, its down the hall and uh, second door to your left.
(She goes down the hall. Joshua goes to put the food away when his parents walk in.)
Mrs. Burgin: Oh, well we cut the trip short.
(They all go into the kitchen. Just then, Rachel comes back from the bathroom; she had removed her dress and is wearing nothing but a lace nightie. She tries to find someplace seductive to wait for Joshua. She tries to sit on the piano, but it makes too much noise. So she goes over to the couch and kinda half lays down to wait for Joshua. Joshua comes in from the kitchen, sees Rachel, and freezes.)
Rachel: What? This-this, no, oh no, no-no-no, this is notthats-thats not what it is. See, see, okay, I work in fashion, see and-and, this is a real dress actually. Its-its, theyre-theyre wearing it in Milan, so part of my job is too wear the clothes, and then I see how people respond, and then I report back to my superiors at Bloomingdales, so And obviously in uh, in-in this case, (She grabs a pen and paper) I am going to report back, "USA not ready."
Rachel: Oh, yeah, well Yeah, no use wasting this baby, just lyin around the house.
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
Ross: (returning from the phone.) So, I just picked up a message from Emily, she and Susan are going to a poetry reading together!
Phoebe: Yeah, she turned you into this-this-this untrusting, crazy, jealous, sycophant. (They all look at her.) All right, so I dont know what sycophant means, but the rest is right.
Phoebe: Yeah. The 92 Ross wouldnt.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is showing off more of her drum skills to Joey by rubbing one of the sticks back and forth across the drum.]
Chandler: All right look, am I serious, okay? Tomorrow at 3:30 I am going down to the courthouse.
Phoebe: You got problems because of you! Not your name! All right, this has got to stop! Chandler is a great name! In factyes, (To Joey) Im, Im sorry. I know you really wanted me to name the baby Joey, but eh, so, Im-Im, Im gonna, Im gonna name the baby Chandler.
Phoebe: Yeah, but you have to keep the name too!
(She exits, and after the door is closed, Chandler turns to Joey and )
Joey: Ohh! (Realises it was all a trick to get Phoebe to name the baby Chandler.)
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
(They hug and give each other a little peck on the cheek.)
Ross: (To Carol) No tongue. (And gives her the thumbs up.)
Joey: Okay. Okay, I can do this. I can tell her how I feel. Just uh, just stand up straight. (Does so.) Take a couple deep breaths. (Does so.) Look confident. (Does so as Rachel opens the door and startles him.)
Rachel: Well obviously I wont be able to come, for those of you who havent checked their calendars today is my due date. Well yknow, I just want to take a moment and thank you guys for how great youve been during this time. I really couldnt have done it without you. And I have loved these last nine months! And even though I am so looking forward to the next part, I am really gonna miss being pregnant.
PHOEBE: Yeah? Are you sure, really. [She picks up a mirror and sees the white splotches all over her face.]
Ross: (entering) Okay Pheebs, I know how we're going to figure this out. Okay, clear your mind and answer the first thing that comes into your head. Okay?
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Rachel: (speaking to the person on the phone again) Yes, yes. I still want my daughters picture, but on a bunny cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts!
[Scene: Rachels Old Bedroom, Continued from earlier. Monica enters the room.]
Monica: Ok, for my next song I think I�ll sing something a little more upbeat. All right? Oh, how about the PointerSisters �I am so excited�. And make it bouncy!
Phoebe: (following him) And did you notice the ice? (Gestures to 3 huge buckets of ice on the table.) Look! We have it all! We have crushed! Cubed! And dry! Watch! (Pours some water onto the dry ice, causing it to evaporate/smoke.) Ahhh! Mystical!
Ticket agent: And the destination?
Chandler: All right, check it out. Check this out. It says here that theres a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums! (Reading from the book.) "Its almost as good as being there."
Monica: Rachel, if you want the little round waffles, you gotta have to wait until I find the little waffle iron.
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Phoebe: I'm sorry you guys but, you know, Mike's got his brother and his friends from school so... you know, you were-you were... if it helps you, you were next in line, you just-you just missed the cut.
Rachel: (thinks about it for a second) No! Ross, come on! No! Listen, look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line, Ross, is we can not stay married.
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
Frank Sr.: Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
Monica: You just put an empty carton back in the fridge!
MONICA: Over here dad. [he pans over and we see a torso taking up the whole screen]
Rachel: Well, someone that has his own tux, or has the ability to rent a tux.
Rachel: Well, wait a minute, youre the boss! Why dont you just yell at them? Or, fire them?
The Dry Cleaner: Russians! It showed them as terrorists and villains!
Phoebe: Yeah, I think it was better when you guys were sad. Hey, uh, remember the roller blades?
Rachel: Im sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Yknow, you fight, you make up, its just the way it works.
[Cut back to the present.]
(Rachel gets up to the jetway.)
Rachel: What is wrong with raising a kid in the city? I'm doing it, Ross is doing it, Sarah Jessica Parker is doing it!
[The next flashback is from The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line. He's telling Joey that he kissed Cathy.]
Chandler: ...The second guy.
Ross: What is that? (refering to the sandwich)
Benjamin: I never should have broken up with you. I think about you all the time. I mean, do you ever still think about me?
(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joeys chest.)
Chandler: Guys, I'd listen to her. The vein is bigger than I've ever seen it. (Monica looks at Chandler)
Chandler: Please tell me you got the message!
Guy: Wait. You're right. I know you're right. And, thanks for being so nice. Here (gives her the flowers he bought.)
The Woman: Could you guys help me? (Chandler shyly exhales and looks away.)
Joey: Wow! (Back to reading the scene.) Well then Ill just have to carry you.
RACHEL: Well that sounds kinda cool, kinda like The Hobbit.
ROSS: No, no, wait, ok, ok, look at the other side. Look at Julie's column.
Phoebe: Monica, can I talk to you behind my menu, please. (Behind the menu) What are you doing?
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Chandler: Yknow I am the groom right? I was told it was kinda big deal.
Ross: I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy.
Mona: I love your place! Where is this guy from? (A statue from the top of his apothecary table.)
Joey: There you go! That's the spirit I'm looking for! What can we do? Huh? All right who's first? Huh? Ross?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.]
Monica: Wait, now so you joined the gym?
The Producer: This is Wayne, the man who created and operates C.H.E.E.S.E.
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas bathroom. Both are sitting on opposite ends of the bathtub.]
Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! Hes in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are on the couch, holding hands, while Phoebe puts milk in her coffee.]
The Croupier: Comin' out. Place your bet. (Monica does so.) Dice are out. (The woman next to Monica rolls the dice.) Double or nothin'! Pay the front line! (Monica won and doubled the chip.)
The Woman: I-I am Kristen.
Monica: You said the baby.
Ross: Uh-ha, what about someone who looks like Rachel? (Russell glares at him.) I will think about the therapy.
The Salesman: Yeah. Could you just sign right here please? (Hands him a clipboard.)
Monica: Thats the couch.
[Scene: The Craps Table, Monica is still on her roll, only this time Chandler's with her and she has a huge crowd of people around.]
Joey: That just cost me four bucks. But uh listen, I just called to see how the chick and the duck are doing?
Chandler: Ah, look on the bright side, I mean you won't have to live with this ugly chair! That was here already huh? I love you. (they hug again)
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
Rachel: All right, easy mimey, the moment has passed, it aint gonna happen!
Phoebe: Yeah, think so. Oh! (She notices the tranquiliser dart has hit her in the butt and removes it) Huh. (Sways back) Whoah.
Rachel: No, yknow what? Its gonna be okay. I mean you dont have to have this rustic Italian feast. Yknow? And-and you dont need, you dont need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. (She starts to cry, as does Monica.)
(They both get up and Monica expects Joey to take the lead, but he doesnt, and they fumble around for a little bit.)
Joey: Oh, you know what you should do? You should walk all the way at the top of Statue of Liberty.
(Sebastian returns with the coffee.)
Rachel: You know what else Im not gonna miss? "Im Monica. I wash the toilet 17 times a day. Even if people are on it!"
The Instructor: Why?
Chandler: Thats the thing, see I would like to stay in the pribe of mwha-ah-libe.
Rachel: Uh, thank you Phoebe. Umm, well, what struck me most when reading Jane Eyre was uh, how the book was so ahead of its time.
Phoebe: I know, the babies are asleep.
Phoebe: But great news about the apartment pants, huh?
(Rachel heads for the bathroom.)
The Producer: Joey Tribbiani, this is
Monica: Maybe because it's you hung your head out of the window like a dog the whole ride here.
Patrick: Yknow what Phoebe? This isnt really worth the free massage.
Rachel: No, really. Really, Pheebs, youre not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college, or yelling at them when theyre bad, yknow, or deciding to put them on Ritalin when they just wont calm down. Yknow?
Phoebe: (Turning around in the chair) Hi!
Chandler: This is okay. Were all adults here; theres nothing to be ashamed of. Now, lets put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)
Joey: I'm gonna do it. (He downs the juice in one swig again.)
Ross: Kristen, hi. Are you uh, new to the area, cause if you are Id love to show you around sometime.
Ross: which brings us back, of course, to Greelys theory of dominance. (The bell rings.) Okay, that-thats all for today. Oh, uh does anyone know where the Freeman building is?
Ross: (sets Ben down) Well, it's not for sure but umm, we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute--y'know, which he is--so umm anyhoo, he uh, he gave us his card and told us to bring him down for this commercial he's auditioning.
The Cooking Teacher: Welcome to introduction to cooking. Now, before we start, can anyone tell me the difference between a hollandaise sauce and a bearnaise sauce? (No one can.)
Phoebe: No, I-I mean your-your old best friend, here. (hands her the picture) Lily, from high school. Remember?
Phoebe Sr.: You do?! Wait, I like umm, the Beetles.
(They flip through the pages to another picture.)
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
Chandler: So, what do you thing the good news is?
Rachel: Whats the matter?
Rachel: (thinking) Youre going to have a baby, and you need to be prepared. Now, youre going to make yourself watch the whole thing. Just do it! (Rachel puts the tape in the VCR)
Rachel: So what-what is the exhibit.
[Scene: The Rehearsal Dinner Hall. Chandler, Joey, Ross, Emily, Monica, and all the bridal party are seated at the table. Chandler gets up to make a toast.]
Kristen: (To Chandler) Excuse me? (Chandler does the shy thing again.)
(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)
Rachel: Third one from the left?
Joey: Uh, de-clawing cats. Hey, tell ya what. Let me walk you home. Well stop by every news stand and burn every copy of their Times and the Post.
Ross: You can have the last piece, if you want.