words in movies
Joey: All right they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider. (takes a glass from the fridge.)
Joey: (drinks from the glass and puts it back in the fridge) Yep, it's fat. I drank fat!
Ross: No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight.
Ross: Uh, huh. Yeah, right after I thank everyone for giving money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey.
Chandler: (entering from bathroom, with an issue of Cosmo) All right, I took the quiz, and it turns out, I do put career before men. (to Joey) Get up.
Chandler: Well, it's not like I went to Spain. I went to the bathroom, you knew I was coming back.
Joey: What's the big deal, sit somewhere else.
Chandler: The big deal is I was sitting there last, so, that's my seat.
Joey: Well, actually the last place you were sitting was in there (points to the bathroom). Soo...
Ross: You guys, you know what, you know what, it doesn't matter, because you both have to go get dressed before the big vain in my head pops. So..
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) You guys, (holds up an outfit) does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear?
Phoebe: I don't know, you might be the first one.
Monica: Rach, did you check the machine?
Rachel: Uh, no. Wait, you know what, this is the outfit that makes my calves look fat. Nevermind.
Joey: All right! You can have the chair.
Phoebe: (on machine) "Hi, it's me, I'm coming over now. Hey, what if I'm already there when your playing this message?" (to the guys) Is that too spooky?
Ross: It's old, it's definitely old. Didn't you hear the, the double beep?
Ross: Yeah, see Mon, listen, listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing. And you know what I did?
The Guys:
Chandler: All right, fine, you know what, we'll both sit in the chair. (sits on Joey's lap) I'm soooo, comfortable.
Ross: Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.
Chandler: All right! Fine! I'm going. But when I get back it's chair sitting, and I'm the guy who's....sitting in a chair! (leaves)
Phoebe: Hummus. I got the hummus.
Monica: I know the code to his answering machine.
Ross: Okay, Mon, I really don't think this is the... Okay, you're dialing, you are dialing.
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Joey: Wow, what a cool job. (in a machine voice) 'You have two new messages.' 'Please, pass the pie.'
Joey: Hey, you can't say you're breezy, that, that totally negates the breezy.
Chandler: All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"
Joey: Okay. (he gets up and takes the cushions with him, as he starts to leave)
Joey: You said I had to give you the chair, you didn't say anything about the cushions.
Chandler: The cushions are the essence of the chair!
Joey: That's right! I'm taking the essence.
Chandler: Oh-ho, it'll be back. Oh-ho, there's nobody in the room.
Rachel: Yeah, which, by the way Chandler, I would like back one of these days.
Chandler: (shyly) The sheep.
Ross: Okay, now hold on. Joey, why, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?
Joey: Okay, you hide my clothes. I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you.
Phoebe: (entering from Rachel's room, wearing a huge bow to cover the stain) Okay, I'm ready.
Ross: Okay, hey, that's okay with me. Two down and I have exactly twelve minutes.... Wha, my watch stopped. My watch. (shows Chandler) Okay, see, the, the dinosaur tail isn't going around any more. (grabs Chandler's watch) What time is it? It's 7:33, I have seven minutes. I have seven minutes!!
Rachel: (entering from her room) Okay, Pheebs, quick, what shoes should I wear? The black or the purple?
Phoebe: Okay, okay, okay, the black. But, oh, do you have black, with the little strappys?
Chandler: Monica, I think you've gone over to the bad place.
Monica: See there you go. Woo! We're out of the woods. Okay, I'll get dressed now.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
Rachel: I'm not gonna gooo, so I think that will accomplish the not going.
Ross: About the yelling.
Rachel: Right, and the humiliating.
Ross: Oh, well of course, the humiliating. So, so wee, we're okay.
Phoebe: (yelling from the bedroom) Get away from that! No! (she comes into the living room carrying the phone) She's just getting dressed.
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!!
Ross: Okay, okay. Enough, enough with the lunging. No! I'm sick of this. Okay. I've had it up to here with you two! Neither you can come to the party!
Ross: You know what I don't care. The only person I cared about getting dressed, is the one person that says she's not even gonna go. Look Rach, I'm sorry. Okay. Look, I-I wa, I was a jerk. I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there, I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can show you how much, how much I want you to be there.
Joey: You could drink the fat.
Rachel: I think you should drink the fat.
Rachel: You were gonna drink the fat.
(Monica runs into the living room, and starts dialing the phone)
Machine: Message erased. To record a message begin speaking at the tone.
Monica: Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know. Um, anyway, I, I, I beeped into your machine and I heard a message that, that freaked me out, and um, you know what Michelle will tell you the rest. I, I, um, I'm sorry, okay, I, I hope that we can forget the whole thing. Okay, bye.
Monica: Maybe we could call the phone company. Maybe they could change the message. Maybe they can change his number.
Rachel: Come on. (they start to leave) Oh! And, uh, by the way....
[Scene: At the banquet]
Chandler: But, I never left the room!
Whitfield: But, you left the chair area.
Joey: You guys promised you'd be more careful! I mean, come on! The good Joey name is being dragged through the mud here!
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, yknow? Well pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
Rachel: Country club newsletter. My mother sends me the engagement notices for 'inspiration.' Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Barry and Mindy!
Richard: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. (Monica grabs his hand in the tomatoes.) Thats my hand.
[Scene: The Airport Ticket Counter, Monica and Chandler are standing in line behind another couple kissing who are next in line to be served.]
Rachel: (laughs) Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that aint a pretty picture in the morning, yknow what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know.
RACHEL: It's just this thing. Every year we would go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side and my dad would be upset becasue nobody was helping and then when we did help he would scream at us for doing it wrong. But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up, you know, and it'd get really cold, and we would all just sort of smush under this one blanket. It never occured to anybody to bring another one. And now it's just...
Chandler: Look Joe, I know you wanted to do the wedding
(Ross pours himself a glass of wine, hits record, and sits down in front of the camera.)
Phoebe: So, so far is this trip to Vegas better or worse than the trip to London?
Chandler: Exactly. Weekend At Bernie's! Dead guy getting hit in the groin twenty, thirty times! No?
PHOEBE: Shh. In a minute, I'm gonna create a diversion. When I do, walk quickly to the door and don't look back.
Ross: (To Carol) No tongue. (And gives her the thumbs up.)
(Joey turns off the lights, and they all leave as Rachel starts to clean up. Ross enters from the bathroom.)
Ross: Okay, okay! Im going. Im going. (goes across the hall to knock on another door.)
(During the mutual contraction Julie takes a moment to point out theyre having a contraction at the same time.)
Joey: Hello New York! (The woman bats his hand out of the way.)
Chandler: Okay, its just weird! Okay? I dont want to be standing their saying my vows and then having the mental image of you and Monica! I-I-I need I dont know what I need. I need a walk.
Rachel: No seriously, yknow the contracts I gave you, did you overnight them?
Ross: It's awful I know, I mean, I feel terrible but I have to do this if I want my marriage to work. And I do, I have to make this marriage work. I have too. But the good thing is we can still see each other until she gets here.
Chandler: And this from the cry-for-help department. Are you wearing makeup?
Monica: This is me in The Sound of Music. See the von Trapp kids?
Doug: Good God Bing I well I cant say Im altogether surprised, I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there. And the way she looked at me, pure lust.
Rachel: But, theyre across the hall! I mean thats two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
Joey: (To Ross) What is the matter with you?!
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Joey: OK, listen Ive been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? Its a show, but were just dancing, OK? Its no big deal. The important thing to remember stay cool.
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Chandler: And the wiggle wharms and the zip zorps? (pause) What were the things you said?
(Then she reaches over again and Joey moves his plate a little to the left, and she misses, then she reaches out again, and he moves his plate to the right , so she misses again. She tries a third time and this time, Joey pushes his plate so far to the left, it drops off the edge of the table)
Young Ethan: Well, think about it. It's always on the news. 'A man is being held up, at gunpoint.' 'Tourists are being terrorised, at gunpoint.' And I just kept thinking: why does people continue to go there? (He checks his watch.) Oh, ah. I should go.
Joey: Oh yes I do. Otherwise whats next? Today Im just a guy who cant finish a turkey, but tomorrow Im the guy who eats half a Powerbar, wraps up the rest, and puts in the fridge? No! No, I just I justI gotta change my pants. (Gets up and heads for the door.) Jeans have no give. (Exits.)
[Scene: Rachel's job interview, she is waiting outside Mr. Zelner's (the interviewer) office banging her pen between her teeth.]
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
Phoebe: By the way, its a costume party.
Joey: The big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and its at the perfect angle so you dont get any glare coming of off Stevie.
(The phone rings and Joey answers it.)
Ross: Ironically, these are the guys who were picked last in gym.
Chandler: Look I'm very glad that you saved Ross from the car backfire, but y'know, it could've been a bullet and you y'know, you didn't try to save me!
Chandler: Okay, Im going to go stand over there. (Points and moves into the living room.)
Monica: Oh no! Whats the matter?
Joey: The blizzard. I just saw on the news, it's like the worst snow storm in 20 years! They already closed all the bridges and tunnels. (Opens the curtains to reveal a snow storm outside)
Chandler: Look I never should have kissed your girlfriend, but Im (Joey hangs up the phone again.)
Phoebe: I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the left Philange.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey enters, amongst snickers from the gang.]
Ross: Gimme this. (Grabs the herbalists card and leaves.)
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Monica: All right, that's a little sketch of the cake, umm some sample menus, umm y'know what I thought we would start out with Tuscan style finger food, and for music, here's an alphabetized list of all my CDs! I've highlighted the ones that would go really good with the food.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is setting up for the slide show.]
Chandler: Phoebe Buffay in Buffay: The Vampire Layer.
Kathy: (laughs) What about the duck?
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
RACHEL: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
(Both Rachel and Monica walk into their bedrooms, stop, and come back into the living room with confused looks on their faces.)
Monica: (indignant) I give good massages! (Ross laughs.) I used to give them to Rachel all the time before she got allergic! And-and-and Chandler loves them! Watch! (She starts giving Chandler a massage.)
Agency guy: So, these are the preliminary forms for an open adoption. There's a lot to go over, but I'll explain everything as we go through it.
Rachel: Well yeah, but then I remembered I started it and there was this pep rally and I was, I was on top of the pyramid but anywayumm, what is this book about?
Rachel: Okidoki! (and she slams the door in the nanny's face while Ross crumples up the application form) Wow! We're never gonna find a nanny.
Ross: When I happened to look through the window and I see you kissing a guy you know, for what? A week?
PHOEBE: [enters with the three people she got out] Ok, welcome to the fu-oh.
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Is that true miss?
Rachel: Oh, The Velveteen Rabbit! Oh my God, when the boy's love makes the rabbit real!
(They both enter the apartment again, where Amanda is "dancing" for Chandler, but she's really terrible at it)
Chandler: But those are the words! Those exact words!
Ross: Joey, the guys your best friend.
BIG BULLY: Did we not make ourselves clear the other day.
Pete: Well Im not gonna stop until Im the Ultimate Fighting Champion.
Monica: So what, you're not the only one. I mean, half the time we don't know where we're going. You've just gotta figure at some point it's all gonna come together, and it's just gonna be... un-floopy.
Guy: Welcome to the building. I'm uh, Steve Sarah; I'm president of the tenants committee.
Mr. Treeger:: No! Youre clogging up the chute that I spent a half-hour unclogging!
Joey: Oh my God! Thats great! Congratulations! Whats the story?!
Chandler: Hey it's the most eligible man in NY. How's the moving on going?
Joey: Oh, hey let me. (Opens the door for Janine and after he closes the door behind her gasps ecstatically.)
ROSS: He won't? [remembers what it is] He won't! Because, isn't that, isn't that the, the short story you were writing?
[Flashback to 410 - TOW The Girl From Poughkeepsie] [Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing her holiday song.]
Monica: Well, no. Youre Chandler. Y'know, Chandler! (hits him on the arm)
(Rachel slowly spins around, finally noticing that the lights have outstayed their welcome.)
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
Emily: I wish I could know if youd heard any of that. I suppose Ive either just told you I love you or given my neighbours a good laugh. Mrs. Newman if youre listening, bugger off this in none of your business. I suppose theres not much chance you did heard that, and theres the call waiting so, I should go. Oh well. (Answers the call waiting.) Hello.
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
[Cut to the delivery room, Phoebe is about to give birth to the middle kid.]
Joey: Uh, take a look at the guys pants! I mean, I know you told us to show excitement, but dont you think he went a little overboard?
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
Phoebe: Oh, is the play over?
(He puts his leg up on the table to pass Joey the cookies, and Phoebe sees what the guys are laughing at, and gasps.)
Monica: Well, you used to like playing the guitar.
CHANDLER: Oh, now? [puts it in his desk drawer] No, no, I think something this nice should be saved for a special occasion. [sets a chair in front of the drawer]
Ross: Please, please I want to apologize for the way I acted earlier today.
Monica: Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju(Sees Rachel is watching)Hi, Jew! (Walks into the kitchen.) (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens) Ok. (Listens) Um, sure, that'd be great. See ya then. Bye. (Hangs up.)
(All animosity forgotten, Rachel holds the receiver out as she limps quickly over to her friend, who stands up in concern.)
Joey: (to Billy) So youre the gynaecologist?
Chandler: Almost as good as that play with the two naked girls on the see-saw.
(Monica enters, with her hair braided and little shells at the end)
Joey: (whining and heading toward the door) Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I...
CHANDLER: No, Stephen Hurs was the kid who would eat anything for money, David Stein was the guy who had no elbows.
(She leaves the apartment and they all stare at Ross)
Gunther: Thats the whole part?
Rachel: Well yknow, we would umm, repeat everything the other said, or uh, wed jump out of closets to scare each other, or switch the sugar for the salt so theyd put salt on their cereal.
Monica: What if I turn out the lights? (Runs to shut them off.)
[Scene: Phoebes office, she is arriving without the knowledge that shes been fired.]