words in movies
Joey: All right they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider. (takes a glass from the fridge.)
Joey: (drinks from the glass and puts it back in the fridge) Yep, it's fat. I drank fat!
Ross: No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight.
Ross: Uh, huh. Yeah, right after I thank everyone for giving money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey.
Chandler: (entering from bathroom, with an issue of Cosmo) All right, I took the quiz, and it turns out, I do put career before men. (to Joey) Get up.
Chandler: Well, it's not like I went to Spain. I went to the bathroom, you knew I was coming back.
Joey: What's the big deal, sit somewhere else.
Chandler: The big deal is I was sitting there last, so, that's my seat.
Joey: Well, actually the last place you were sitting was in there (points to the bathroom). Soo...
Ross: You guys, you know what, you know what, it doesn't matter, because you both have to go get dressed before the big vain in my head pops. So..
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) You guys, (holds up an outfit) does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear?
Phoebe: I don't know, you might be the first one.
Monica: Rach, did you check the machine?
Rachel: Uh, no. Wait, you know what, this is the outfit that makes my calves look fat. Nevermind.
Joey: All right! You can have the chair.
Phoebe: (on machine) "Hi, it's me, I'm coming over now. Hey, what if I'm already there when your playing this message?" (to the guys) Is that too spooky?
Ross: It's old, it's definitely old. Didn't you hear the, the double beep?
Ross: Yeah, see Mon, listen, listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing. And you know what I did?
The Guys:
Chandler: All right, fine, you know what, we'll both sit in the chair. (sits on Joey's lap) I'm soooo, comfortable.
Ross: Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.
Chandler: All right! Fine! I'm going. But when I get back it's chair sitting, and I'm the guy who's....sitting in a chair! (leaves)
Phoebe: Hummus. I got the hummus.
Monica: I know the code to his answering machine.
Ross: Okay, Mon, I really don't think this is the... Okay, you're dialing, you are dialing.
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Joey: Wow, what a cool job. (in a machine voice) 'You have two new messages.' 'Please, pass the pie.'
Joey: Hey, you can't say you're breezy, that, that totally negates the breezy.
Chandler: All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"
Joey: Okay. (he gets up and takes the cushions with him, as he starts to leave)
Joey: You said I had to give you the chair, you didn't say anything about the cushions.
Chandler: The cushions are the essence of the chair!
Joey: That's right! I'm taking the essence.
Chandler: Oh-ho, it'll be back. Oh-ho, there's nobody in the room.
Rachel: Yeah, which, by the way Chandler, I would like back one of these days.
Chandler: (shyly) The sheep.
Ross: Okay, now hold on. Joey, why, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?
Joey: Okay, you hide my clothes. I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you.
Phoebe: (entering from Rachel's room, wearing a huge bow to cover the stain) Okay, I'm ready.
Ross: Okay, hey, that's okay with me. Two down and I have exactly twelve minutes.... Wha, my watch stopped. My watch. (shows Chandler) Okay, see, the, the dinosaur tail isn't going around any more. (grabs Chandler's watch) What time is it? It's 7:33, I have seven minutes. I have seven minutes!!
Rachel: (entering from her room) Okay, Pheebs, quick, what shoes should I wear? The black or the purple?
Phoebe: Okay, okay, okay, the black. But, oh, do you have black, with the little strappys?
Chandler: Monica, I think you've gone over to the bad place.
Monica: See there you go. Woo! We're out of the woods. Okay, I'll get dressed now.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
Rachel: I'm not gonna gooo, so I think that will accomplish the not going.
Ross: About the yelling.
Rachel: Right, and the humiliating.
Ross: Oh, well of course, the humiliating. So, so wee, we're okay.
Phoebe: (yelling from the bedroom) Get away from that! No! (she comes into the living room carrying the phone) She's just getting dressed.
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!!
Ross: Okay, okay. Enough, enough with the lunging. No! I'm sick of this. Okay. I've had it up to here with you two! Neither you can come to the party!
Ross: You know what I don't care. The only person I cared about getting dressed, is the one person that says she's not even gonna go. Look Rach, I'm sorry. Okay. Look, I-I wa, I was a jerk. I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there, I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can show you how much, how much I want you to be there.
Joey: You could drink the fat.
Rachel: I think you should drink the fat.
Rachel: You were gonna drink the fat.
(Monica runs into the living room, and starts dialing the phone)
Machine: Message erased. To record a message begin speaking at the tone.
Monica: Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know. Um, anyway, I, I, I beeped into your machine and I heard a message that, that freaked me out, and um, you know what Michelle will tell you the rest. I, I, um, I'm sorry, okay, I, I hope that we can forget the whole thing. Okay, bye.
Monica: Maybe we could call the phone company. Maybe they could change the message. Maybe they can change his number.
Rachel: Come on. (they start to leave) Oh! And, uh, by the way....
[Scene: At the banquet]
Chandler: But, I never left the room!
Whitfield: But, you left the chair area.
Monica: Joey, where are the Jell-o shots?
Ross: Yes, yes it is. Its uh (Aunt Millie uses this opportunity to grab Ross and kiss him on the lips. After she leaves Ross quickly wipes his mouth with a napkin.) Every time on the lips! Why?! Why on lips?!
JOEY: Hey, here's a thought, Ross. [reaches for the computer]
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad .
The Director: Yes?
Joey: But Phoebe, wait! Wait! Phoebe. Phoebe! (catches her in the hallway)
Phoebe: Okay. But the question is whos gonna go first. Cause whoever goes second is the bitch.
[Scene: Rosss Classroom, he is writing on the board and Alan is coming in to see him.]
The Stripper: Okay, which one of you guys is Gunther Central-Perk? (Sees Joey.) Hey, Joey?
Monica: (hearing that) Thats it big girl! (Hits Janine in the butt with the garbage bag) Come on!
[Ross holds up the blouse. It is extremely tacky, with sewn-on medals hanging off of it.]
JOEY: Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. We live in the building by the uh sidewalk.
Rachel: Look, Im fine. Watch. (She picks up an aspirin between her toes) Look at that. (She lifts her leg to grab the aspirin with her hand and almost falls over.) Whoa-whoa!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table staring at the phone as Monica enters.]
(Chandler can't believe what he's hearing. He looks at Monica, then at the others, then back at Monica.)
Joey: Yeah but we wont be able to like get up in the middle of the night and have those long talks about our feelings and the future.
[Scene: The rest stop, the gang is still stuck, Chandler is kneeling at the rear bumper.]
Phoebe: Well, since the fire was kinda my fault I guess (To Rachel) you should get to stay here.
Gunther: Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars.
Phoebe: Really? Thats the thing Im worse at! Youll see. (Exits.)
Joey: Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first.
(Chandler sees that there is a gorgeous model inside the vestibule with him. He makes a gesture of quiet exuberance.)
The Director: You ready to go?
Rachel: (taking off her sweater) Okay umm, Ross? I'm-I'm really warm, so I'm going to be taking off my sweater. Now, I'm just letting you know that this is not an invitation to the physical act of love.
Joey: If the Homo Sapiens, were in fact Homo-sapien, is that why there extinct?
MONICA: Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos.
Chandler: Okay! (Runs into the bedroom.)
Phoebe: No! Not the sex part, just the stuff leading up to it.
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Bob is standing at the elevators and sees Chandler walk up.]
Monica: (Putting down her phone) Well, the club lost it's power.
Joey: (holding an empty tissue box) Wheres all the tissues?! (Throws the box down in disgust.)
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, Im going to take her to an amazing Valentines dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks Im the best boyfriend in the world, then Im going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.
Phoebe: This is madness. It's madness, I tell you, for the love of God, Monica, don't do it!! ...Thank you.
[Scene: the hotel lobby. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in from the outside.]
Chandler: Thats the stuff! (quickly grabs it)
The Saleslady: Yes! I have it right here. (Phoebe and Monica both gasp at the dress.) Would you like to try it on Ms. Waltham?
[Scene: The fancy restaurant, Angela has her hand in Bob's shirt, and Monica is very uncomfortable.]
Chandler: I am so sorry. I really am. I was an idiot back then. I rushed the stage at a Wham concert for crying out loud!
Phoebe: Shocking! Lets play the game of who can stay quiet the longest. (Giggles)
[Cut to Central Perk, to the theme from The Dick Van Dyke show Joey runs into Central Perk carrying a stack of Soap Opera Digests and falls on the step. He does bounce right back up making it all that much funnier.]
Rachel: Well, hey! How about right above the TV? (Points to the spot where her famous French poster is hanging). That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door!
Chandler: This guy invented Moss 865! Every office in the world uses that program!
Phoebe: The little ones do.
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler is trying to listen through the door.]
PHOEBE: I know who it is you remind me of. Evelyn Dermer. 'Course, that's before she got the lousy face lift. Now she looks like Soupy Sales.
(Ross and chandler are standing next to the alter. Ross is practicing for the wedding.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is neglecting the game of Scrabble, for he's busily drawing on his own childhood in an attempt to help Ross. Marcel chitters about.]
Rachel: Man in the black dress (Monica walks away and Rachel looks around to find a woman in a black dress.) (To her) Hi! Im Rachel! Im a friend of Monica and Chandlers!
ROSS: I'm gonna get a new band-aid. Hey, how 'bout the time I cut the legs off your Malibu Ken?
Chandler: Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.
Phoebe: (In a strange heavy accent) Hello "ja", it's time for your massage, ja! Put your face in the hole.
MNCA: You were so amazing as the king. I was really impressed, I was.
Chandler: Thats what you say at the end of a date.
Rachel: Oh Ross youre so tense! You just gotta relax okay? Just need to relax all right? Just need to relax (She takes her hands off of the wheel.)
Phoebe: Theyre at the coffeehouse.
Rachel: (on phone) Hi, Mindy. Hi, it-it's Rachel. Yeah, I'm fine. I-I saw Barry today. Oh, yeah, yeah he-he told me. No, no, it's okay. I hope you two are very happy, I really do. Oh, oh, and Mind, y'know, if-if everything works out, and you guys end up getting married and having kids- and everything- I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose. (Slams the phone down.) (To everyone) Okay, I know it was a cheap shot, but I feel so much better now.
Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
Phoebe: Whered you get too? We lost you after you opened up all the presents.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is there. There's a knock at the door. He answers it to see a young woman holding a fishtank.]
Ross: Ahh, I-I did leave the gel on a little longer then it said to.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
Rachel: Ok, well, not a problem. We'll just use them to stop the bleeding. Ok. Baggage claim? Ok.
Rachel: Wh So If neither of you are married by the time youre 40, youre gonna marry Joey.
(Everyone cheers. Monica opens the door. Bobby is obviously very depressed)
Chandler: The food there was, was great.
Monica: Hey Rach, the adoption agency needs letters of recommendation and we were wondering if you would write one for us.
The Interviewer: Umm, Ill have a cup of coffee.
Rachel: (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here!
The Director: Oh thats great! Okay, well Ive heard everything I need to hear. I just need to uh, Leslie
Joey: Well we have to make room for the fresh ones.
Chandler: It was unbelievable. I-I've never met anyone like her. She's had the most amazing life! She was in the Israeli army...
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Monica are returning from their honeymoon.]
[Scene: Later that evening at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler and Monica are sitting on a sofa. Chandler is covering his face in embarrassment because of the toast.]
Ross: Yes. Yes. Dont worry. Everythings fine. Well uh, well see you tomorrow at the wedding.
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and the guys are watching Days of Our Lives.]
Monica: Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that youre really sarcastic, or that, yknow, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.
Phoebe: I did it! I took care of the babies all by myself!
(Chandler opens the door, finally.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is still watching the porn as Chandler enters.]
Stanley: I don't know. A week? Maybe two? The money will turn up! People will always wanna invest in movies! Hey, you're not rich are ya?
Chandler: Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know I love you. I had a great time on our honeymoon, and I cant wait to go in there and spend the rest of our life together.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica emerges from the bathroom.]
Joey: Like the three musketeers, only with fruit.
ROSS: Sweetie, it's be gonna okay, all right. It's a wedding, generally people focus on the bride.
Monica: Okay. Heres the thing.
JOEY: The Ice Capades?
Joey: Yeah, shes been out there for twenty minutes, Im surprised you didnt hear her on the way over.
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
Rachel: Chick and the duck? Didn't they die...
Phoebe: Ooh, if you take the northern route there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees. {Okay, I must protest this, I've lived in Illinois all my life and know of no man with a beard of bees! Wisconsin, on the other hand, might be a different story.}
MNCA: [reading the paper] There are no jobs. There are no jobs for me.
Phoebe: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.
Phoebe: ( in a soothing voice) Relax every muscle in your body. Listen to the plinky-plunky music. Okay, now close you eyes, and think of a happy place. Okay, tell me your happy place.
Joey: Hey, when the doctor does that hernia test...
MR. GELLER: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . .
Joey: (excited) Thanks dude!!!This is GREAT!! (leaves Rachel very touched on the couch and goes into his room)
(She walks down the aisle with the groomsman. We cut to inside Central Perk, where Phoebe and Chandler are waiting.)
Rachel: (Brings Marcel a teddy bear) Marcel, this is for you. It's, uh, just, y'know, something to, um, do on the plane.
(Monica comes out of the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both enter.)