words in movies
Ross: God that is the most beautiful engagement ring ever!
Chandler: Okay, well tonights the big night.
Chandler: It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. Im going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast Im just gonna propose.
Phoebe: If she says no, can I have the ring?
(Monicas entrance makes Phoebe try to hide the ring by putting it in her mouth.)
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
(She goes into the bathroom.)
Rachel: Are any of you guys free tonight? My boss is hosting this charity event for underprivileged kids and the more people I bring, the better I look. So, Monica? Chandler?
Monica: Whats the big deal?
Phoebe: I can do that for the kids.
Chandler: Well, you could also give back the money you owe me.
Chandler: Oh, so youre already doing your part for the kids.
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Joey: Its the big night! We wanted to wish you good luck!
Ross: Yeah, yeah you have the ring?
Chandler: Yeah, right here in my pocket. (Pats his pocket. Phoebe smiles, goes over to hug him, and removes the ring from his pocket.) Pheebs?
Phoebe: Oh! Oop! (Hands him back the ring.)
Ross: (to the rest of them) Yeah-yeah you guys. Get out of here!
(Monica enters from the bedroom.)
Monica: Oh, thank you! (The gang exhibits signs of quiet apprehension and wears knowing glances.) (Monica giggles.) Whats going on?
[Scene: The Charity Event, theyre holding a silent auction, Rachel is looking at one of the items and Phoebe walks up and hands her a glass of wine.]
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.
Rachel: Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. (She introduces them.) Hes the head of my department.
Joey: (behind them) Oh!! Shrimp toast! (Walks right past the little group on his way for the shrimp toast.)
[Scene: Elizabeths Dorm Room, Ross is walking up to her door and knocks on it. Suddenly the door opens and Elizabeth drags him into the room.]
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Zoe: Shut the door! Shut the door!! (Runs over and closes the door.)
Elizabeth: The guys across the hall are throwing water balloons at us.
Ross: Oh, you have to call the police! Thats what I did to the kids in my building!
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same
Elizabeth: (ignoring him and picking up a pitcher) Who drank all the Kamikazes?
Sarah: (approaching with two filled balloons in her hands) Nobody! We put them in here! (Indicates the aforementioned balloons causing both of them to scream in delight and start drinking from the balloons.)
Elizabeth: (To Ross) You want some?! (Starts to squirt the Kamikaze at him.)
Ross: Uh, so this play umm, what do you think? Its-its gotten great reviews! Yknow the uh
(Suddenly the door opens and two guys come rushing in wielding water balloons.)
(They start lobbing the balloons in. Ross desperately tries to get out of the line of fire but is struck in the back. The girls all retreat to relative safety behind the couch.)
The Girls: You put your balloons down!!
[Scene: The Charity Event, Mr. Thompson is announcing the winners of the silent auction.]
Mr. Thompson: Our next item is the romantic trip to Paris. (Pause.) It goes to Emil Alexander high a high bid of 2,300.
Mr. Thompson: And finally, our biggest item of the night, the 22-foot gentlemans day sailer sailboat. The winning bid was a whooping $20,000! (Joey suddenly gets excited.)
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Chandler: Yes! Im fine. In fact Ive been fine for a long time now and I think, the reason is you.
(As hes talking Monica notices someone familiar has just entered the restaurant. Lets see; I seem to remember him driving a Ferrari in Hawaii solving crimes as a private investigator and as a certain eye doctor in more recent times.)
Chandler: (not knowing the true meaning of her exclamation) I know, but just let me say it.
Chandler: What?! Im Chandler! (She nods towards the doorway, Chandler turns and looks) Oh, thats Richard!
Matire'd: (motioning to the empty table next to Monica and Chandlers) Or if you prefer, this table is available.
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are sitting at their table.]
Phoebe: Well, just buy the damn boat! (Shes still working her way through her tray of booze.)
Phoebe: Im just helping the kids!
Rachel: How is you drinking helping the kids?
Phoebe: Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.
Mr. Thompson: Your generous contribution brings us a big step closer to building the youth center.
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.
Rachel: I know. Okay. (Whispering and thinking.) Okay. Okay. All right. All right, this is what were gonna do, we are gonna go to the next highest bidder, and we are just gonna let them buy it, and then youre just gonna pay the difference.
Joey: Look, I dont know why the kids need a youth center anyway! Yknow? They should just watch TV after school like I did and I turned out fine!
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
Monica: And so, were hiding in the bathroom.
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
{Transcribers Note: For further reading on the above story, please check out The One Where Joey Moves Out.}
Chandler: I got a good one, I got a good one! I once walked in on both my parents making love to the same guy.
Richard: Its so great seeing you guys again. Id like to make a toast. (Everyone raises their glasses) Uh, as a poet once said, "In the sweetness of friendship, let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures for in the due of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."
Monica: Why dont you just weigh out the good stuff about the relationship against the bad stuff. I mean thats what I did when I first (looks at Chandler and pauses) weighing stuff.
Monica: If the school finds out youre fired.
Monica: Look Ross, the only question you need to ask is, "Do you see a future?" I mean like do you see yourself marrying her? (Ross pauses in consideration.) Oh my God! You did it already! You married her, didnt you?!
[Scene: The Charity Event, Rachel and Phoebe are sitting at the table as Joey approaches.]
Joey: Rach! Rachel! Okay, the next highest bidder is at table one.
Joey: (To Phoebe) Oh and uh the guy who got the Paris trip is at table four.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Why do you care about the guy who won the Paris trip?
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
Joey: Ahh, yes. (Pushes Rachel in front of himself so that she could do the talking.)
Rachel: Oh well, hello. This is your lucky day Mr. Bowmont, the uh gentleman day sailer as just become available again and I believe that you made a bid of $18,000.
Mr. Bowmont: I was actually relieved uh I didnt win the boat. My wife wouldve killed me.
Rachel: Pam! Oh God okay, just imagine this, "The Pam."
Rachel: Okay, uh-uh imagine this, "The Mr. Bowmont."
Rachel: Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. (She sits down next to him.) All right, you are settin sail up the Hudson! Youve got the wind in your h(sees that hes bald)arms! You-you get all that peace and quiet that youve always wanted! You get back to nature! You can go fishin! You canooh, you can get one of those little hats and have people call you captain, and then when youre old, Cappy.
Mr. Bowmont: What the hell, its for a good cause! All right!
Joey: Who cares?! I-Ill make payments, whatever it takes, I want the Mr. Bowmont!!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is taking out the garbage as Phoebe and Joey enter. Phoebe gasps.]
Phoebe: I wanna see whats in your hand. I wanna see the trash.
(Chandler puts his face in his hands as Joey and Phoebe start to examine the trash.)
Chandler: (after the door closes) What did you guys just do?!
Phoebe: Look, she only suspects something okay? She doesnt know for sure, so just throw her off the track.
Chandler: Thats right, I can throw her off. I can make her think marriage is the last thing on my mind.
Monica: (entering) I had to go all the way to the basement because some idiot keeps stuffing the trash chute with pizza boxes!
Phoebe: No, youre too late!!! She already took out the trash!!!
(She throws a water balloon at him and hits him on the head and hits him again at the waist with another one.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is looking out the window and Joey is sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: Okay, okay, here she comes! (Sits on the couch next to him.) How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesnt want to get married?
Chandler: Oh, just hanging out, talkin about uh, websites. (Joey laughs.) Yeah, we saw this really interesting website about marriage and how totally unnecessary it is and how its just a way for the government to keep tabs on you.
Monica: Well thats a little crazy. Although I am yknow glad to hear that youre branching out on what you look at on the Internet.
Monica: Why?! To celebrate your relationship! To solidify your commitment! To declare your love for one another to the world!
(We hear the backup horn of a truck and see through the window that the Mr. Bowmont has arrived.)
Joey: (all excited) The Mr. Bowmonts here!!! (Jumps over the back off the couch and runs out into the street.)
Waitress: Hey Monica, theres a customer who wants to complement the chef, should I let him in?
Waitress: (to the customer) Come on in.
(The customer turns out to be )
Richard: Actually, Im not here to complement the chef.
Monica: Ohh Oh, thats okay I hate when people come back to complement the chef. Like I have nothing better to do! So whats up?
Richard: Well, it was great seeing you the other night.
Richard: I still love you. And I know I probably shouldnt even be here telling you this, I mean youre with Chandler a guy I really like, and if you say hes straight Ill believe you! After seeing ya the other night I knew if I didnt tell ya Id regret it for the rest of my life. Letting you go was the stupidest thing I ever did.
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
Monica: What the Yes youre too late! Where was all this three years ago?!
Monica: Well he is! Yeah, I mean marriage is all he talks about! My goodness, in fact, Im the one thats making him wait!
Monica: Why? Because of the government.
(Joey enters looking like Captain Stubing from the Love Boat.)
Chandler: Sure I do. In fact, I think the whole concept of marriage is unnatural. I mean look at pigs. Lets take a second here and look at pigs. Okay pigs dont mate for life. I mean a pig can have like a hundred sexual partners in a lifetime, and thats just an ordinary pig not even a pig thats good at sports!
Chandler: If marriage worked, Id be all for it. But do you know what the divorce rate in this country is? 97%.
Chandler: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What is all this pressure?! Is this some new kind of strategy? Why dont you put down your copy of The Rules huh mantrap?!
(She gets up and storms out. The people at the other tables are staring at Chandler.)
Rachel: Well yknow, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time theyre 40, they marry each other.
Rachel: Wh So If neither of you are married by the time youre 40, youre gonna marry Joey.
Phoebe: Yep, we shook on it. Yeah but believe me that is not how he wanted to seal the deal.
Joey: Whoa-whoa, whats the matter?! Talk to the captain!
Joey: Maybe thats the problem.
Monica: (starts for the door) Well theres some people who do want to marry me.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is watching a show about the extinction of the dinosaurs.]
Narrator: When the Cretaceous period ended, the dinosaurs were gone.
(Theres a knock on the door, he shuts the TV off, and answers it.)
Rachel: So what do you say we make a pact? If you and I are both single by the time were 40, we get married. I mean, we know each other, we like each other, and weve-weve already slept together so yknow therell be no surprises there! You know what I mean? No like, "Whats that?!"
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is entering to find Joey, still looking like Captain Stubing, on the phone.]
Joey: Where the hell have you been?!
Chandler: I was making a coconut phone with the professor.
Chandler: Okay. (Starts running for the bedroom) Im gonna get the ring! Im gonna get the ring! (Does so) Im gonna go find her and (starts running for the door) Im just going to propose!
Joey: Let me know about that coconut phone, it might great for the boat.
[Scene: Richards Apartment, hes smoking a cigar and reading a book as there is a knock on the door. He gets up and opens the door to reveal ]
Richard: Oh, okay. Well, Ill just leave the door open and go sit on the couch. (Does so.)
Richard: on the rocks with a twist? I remember. (Goes to make her drink.)
Monica: (moving over to the couch) Still smoking cigars?
Monica: But getting over was the hardest thing that Ive ever had to do. And I never let myself think about you.
Phoebe: I dontLook I dont know what youre complaining about now? You were both aware of the situation!
(At the same time.)
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
[Scene: Richards Apartment, Monica is looking around and notices an African mask hanging on the wall.]
Monica: (to the mask) I missed you-you ugly, flat faced old freak!
Monica: Oh! (Laughs and points at the mask.) Him.
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I dont want that!
[Scene: Richards Apartment, time lapse. Richard is smoking as he hears a knock on the door. He quickly puts out his cigar and opens the door.]
Chandler: (examining the coffee table) Scotch on the rocks, with a twist, on a coaster? Ha-ha, Monica! Monica!
Richard: You were gonna propose? (Sits on the arm of the couch.)
Chandler: Yeah I even (pause) got a ring. (Puts in on the center cushion.) Did you get a ring?
(Chandler gets up and runs out, but as soon as the door closes behind him he opens it, runs back in, picks up his ring Richard is holding up for him, and runs back out.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is running up the stairs and towards his apartment, but Joey is taking out the garbage at the same time and stops him in the hall.]
(He walks dejectedly into his apartment to find it lit with about a thousand candles and Monica standing in the living room.)
(He turns to look at Joey who smiles slyly and closes the door leaving them alone.)
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
(The crowd goes wild as he puts the ring on her finger. They hug and kiss this time as an engaged couple.)
Joey: (yelling through the door) Can we come it yet?! Were dying out here!
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Rachel: Ohhh, this is the least jealous Ive ever been!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, its just Monica and Chandler dancing to Wonderful Tonight on the Slowhand album by Eric Clapton. And you can buy that album from the CFSI, just click on the CDNow link.]
Chandler: Okay, well, then, I-I have to go to the bathroom.
(The gang all looks at Phoebe.)
(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)
Ross: Yeah, Joan Tedeski my date. Shes an assistant professor in the Linguistics department. Tall, very beautiful, and despite what some people say, not broad backed!
Joey: I had the same dream!
Phoebe: (the cat runs away from her) Oooh! You are a very bad man!
Monica: All right, Ill take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and thats it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. (to Ross) Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all?
Chandler: Well, she probably wasnt familiar with the process having spent most of her life sitting for oil paintings!
The Director: Cut! That was great everybody! Thank you!
Julio: Whoa, whoa, whoa, the poem is not about you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is on the couch reading as Rachel enters. Its the next day.]
Monica: Its 9:30 in the morning!
(There is the sound of a flushing toilet and Coma Guy emerges from the bathroom)
Chandler: I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.
Phoebe: Hey. We found her, we found the girl.
Joey: Noo!! Ive had the best day ever! Dude, check this out!
Phoebe: Oh, its a secret. Oh goodie! Yes! We havent done the secret thing in a long time.
Phoebe: Okay, I asked for the news, not the weather.
Phoebe: All right. Im gonna go to the fertility doctor and um, see if Im ready to have Frank and Alices embryo transferred into my uterus.
Phoebe: Your welcome, oh please not the one with the turtles.
(They walk passed each other, Ross towards the door, Chandler towards the counter, suddenly they turn around to face each other)
Rachel: The fear?
Chandler: And those guys were this (Doing the standard "This Close" gesture) close to lettin us play this time too.
Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Monica looks at her strangely) Im kidding. (She smiles wickedly.)
Ross: Okay, quick and painful. (Starts to cork the wine)
Joey: Well, I guess youre right. Maybe, maybe Ill take her down to the incinerator. Its gonna be so said, and kinda cool. (He goes to remove the back, but it doesnt come off. So he sits down in it, puts his feet up, stands up, and looks back at it.) Shes heeled!
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Alright, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him and force him down the aisle. I can just see it: "Mike, do you take Phoebe..." (gestures with her hand as if someone is covering her mouth and tries to shout "No! No!") You know, it's every girl's dream!
Rachel: And do you remember going into my purse and stealing the phone?!
Chandler: The doctor.
Phoebe: Alright, here's my $7.50. (Hands them the money) But I think you should know that this money is cursed.
Joey: Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didnt have the car! Right?
Phoebe: Ugh, okay Sherlock! (Hands over the key.)
Rachel: Well that is because your eye immediately goes to the big naked man.
Chandler: I can see it now, "Look dad, its the Sphinx!" (Does that party noise again.)
Ross: Oh, man, I'm not going to be able to handle this. (pause) Now I know how my students feel at the end of each year. And why they act out by giving me such bad evaluations.
Joey: Oh, man. What're the odds of that happening?
Monica: Excuse me, Mrs. Burkart? Well, we're all cleaned up in the kitchen.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is STILL on hold.]
Ross: All right. (They start up the stairs. Ross is first.) Okay, here we go!
Monica: Is it the same thing that Chandler had?
Phoebe: My guy is a lawyer who has volunteer work. And, he has one of these (She squeezes the skin on her chin together to form )
Chandler: (peeping) Everything is so distorted! Looks like Joey has a giant hand! Which says "Rangers" on it. They went to the game!
Chandler: I dont believe it. The most romantic night of my life and Im runner up.
Roger: You're so funny! He's really funny! I wouldn't wanna be there when when the laughter stops.
Chandler: Eleven days before Halloween.. all the good costumes are gone?
[The final one is from Episode 607: The One Where Phoebe Runs, Joey has been trying to repel Janice and sees its not working to his liking so hes confronting her about the sexual tension.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Joey: Oh yeah, and shes really nice too! She taught me about yknow, how to work with the cameras and smell-the-fart acting.
Ross: Hey, I think Elizabeth is a little more serious than, "Spring break!" (Imitates the party noise.) All right? I mean shes taken my class!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Ross and Mike are sitting on the sofa.� Ross is fidgeting with the cuff of his sweater while Mike blows his cheeks out.� Ross blows a piece of fuzz from his finger.)
ROSS: Ohh... OK. [changes the channel]
Phoebe: (taking something out of the couch) Ew-eww!! Undies!
Chandler: Oh no no no.. I'll get her. I'm super-compentent and totally responsibile and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there Emma. Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. <knocks over the box of china> Well.. what do you know? I guess, I'll be the one who dies first.
Chandler: (on the phone) "Look, this is ridiculous! I'm not paying for that room! Ok?" (pause) "Oh, thank you very much!" (hangs up) Yeah, I'm going to Vermont...
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
Chandler: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.
[Scene: Monica's apartment. The stripper is sitting at the kitchen table. Monica, Rachel and Phoebe are standing around him]
[Scene: ATM vestibule, the power has come back on.]
[cut to the girls huddle.]
The Girls: Happy Thanksgiving!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and a beautiful blonde (Cheryl) are standing outside. The rest of the gang is watching from inside.]
Phoebe: Oh my God!! (She grabs Rachels hand and drags her towards Monica.) Excuse me! Excuse me! (Shes knocking women and veils out of the way as she moves.)
ROSS: Hey, hey buddy, Marcel. Marcel. [Marcel doesn't react so Ross starts singing] In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. [no reaction from Marcel, Monica and Joey urge him on] In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. [Marcel looks over and everyone joins in] a-weema-way, a-weema-way..... [Marcel runs over and hops up on Ross's shoulder]
Joey: Ross. I was thinking we could just go down the fire escape. (Points it out.)
Chandler: (hysterical)Don't touch the phone! I'll get it, I'll get it, I'll get it!! (picks up the phone)
CHANDLER: Oh yeah, you got the big TV. We'll be over there all the time. . . [Chandler gives him a look] except when we are here.
Rachel: Y'know, it was, uh.. it was actually really great. He took me to lunch at the Russian Tea Room, and I had that chicken, where y'know you poke it and all the butter squirts out...
Rachel: Oh my God! What if he thinks I'm the kind of girl that-that would just sleep with him?
Phoebe: That might work! (She gives him the coat.)
[Scene: A hall on the floor where Chandler works. Chandler and Phoebe enters, and overhears some employees's conversation. One of them is doing Chandler.]
Monica: Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we dont wanna look stupid!
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and a co-worker (Sophie) are dealing with the crisis.]
JOEY: Oh, I'm gettin' heat from the guy in the hot pink thong.
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
[Scene: The Philly.]
Ross: Ok, ok! I'm gonna go hide! Oh, this is so exciting, my first mourner! (he hides in the bedroom and closes the door)
Chandler: Buh-bye. (Hangs up the phone) I just got us reservations at Michelles and tickets to the Musicman to celebrate our first holiday season as a betroughed couple.
[Scene: The hospital, Ross and Monica are in Phoebes room. Phoebe is in the bathroom and Monica notices smoke coming out from underneath the door.]
Rachel: But I dont, hmm... (on phone) Oh, who approved that order?! (listens) Well there is no Mark Robbinson in this office. (to Sophie) Get me Mark on the phone!
Rachel: I accidentally kissed him in the interview, and now he wants me back y'know of course, 'cause "Let's bring the girl back who kisses everybody!"
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is sitting on the chair, and theyre all talking.]
Joey: Bye. (does the jazz hands)
(Rachel enters with the cat, wearing the oven mitt, and startles Phoebe.)
Joey: Ooh! Ah! Okay! (Quickly drags the crib outside.)
Joey: What's the big deal, sit somewhere else.
Emily: and that was all before 10 oclock. The caterer rang and said it was going to be Chicken Kiev instead of Chicken Tarragon. And then the florist phoned to say there arent any tulips. Oh, and the chilliest has carpel-tunel syndrome. Were not gonna be
Woman At The Wedding: Oh! Of course. (Ross and Chandler pose and she takes the picture.)
(Chandler pushes him through the door and Monica closes it behind them.)
Phoebe: Did you, did you touch any of the guitars while you were there? Did you?!
Ross: (on the phone) Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Phoebe: Oh my God!! You threw Pepper on the fire!
The Next Morning
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving the bill to the same beautiful woman from before.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Santa (Chandler), Superman (Joey), Ben, and Monica are listening to the Holiday Armadillo (Ross) finish telling the story of Hanukkah.]
Joey: All right look, let me show you the catalog! (Does so.) See? Huh? It's the latest thing! Everyone's got one! Men! Women! Children! Everyone's carrying them!
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, Chandler is playing with the bed.]
Tag: I'm okay. I gotta go down to the police station and look at mug shots.
CHAN: Y'know, maybe this isn't such a big deal. Y'know, I mean, the way that I see it is you get a great job and you get to have sex. Y'know, I mean, throw in a tree and a fat guy and you've got Christmas.
Chandler: Come on. An 80-foot inflatable dog let loose over the city. How often does that happen?