words in movies
Rachel: (looking at her fingers) Oh my God! Let me see that! (Grabs the book from him.)
Phoebe: I brought you my old maternity clothes! (Sets a bag on the counter.)
Phoebe: Yeah! And look, (Grabs the pants) see how they expand as the baby grows? (Theres a stretchy part in front.) And then after the babys born, theyre great for shoplifting melons.
Monica: No that was Jarred! Wow! I havent thought about him in a long time (Stares off into the distance lost in thought.) (Pause) Anyway, umm Wills, Wills here on business and he didnt have a place to go so I invited him here.
Monica: Oh, and by the way, hes lost a bunch of weight. I mean he looks goo-ood! Okay, I mean really, really gorgeous! (Joey clears his throat.) I still love Chandler.
Rachel: Remember I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken?
Joey: Yeah. But I thought that was because I put the whole thing on my hand and made it walk across the table.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching football, and its actually the right game Green Bay at Detroit (although not this years), as Monica is getting everything ready.]
Monica: Hey, isnt weird to think about how next year at this time theyll be a little baby at the table? (Chandler turns around in horror.) (Seeing him) Rachels! But good to know where youre at!
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
Monica: Im gonna go across the hall to check on the yams.
Phoebe: Okay. (She starts folding the napkins in half.)
Phoebe: Yeah, it all just came screaming back to me. (Monica exits.) (To Chandler) So hows the game?
Chandler: Yeah! Im just pretending to watch the game so I dont have to help out with stuff.
Chandler: Nope! Every once and a while I just scream stuff at the TV.
(Monica enters and Chandler screams stuff at the TV.)
Phoebe: Well normally I dont, but yknow (looks at the TV) Green Bay is playing.
(Phoebe joins Chandler on the couch as there is a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
Chandler: Oh hey. Id shake your hand but uh; Im really into the game. Plus, I think itd be better for my ego if we didnt stand right next to each other.
Chandler: Im watching the game, but Im not deaf!
Joey: Let me explain to you how the human body works. I have to warm my stomach first. Eatin chips is like stretching.
Joey: (To Monica) Who the hell is this guy?
Monica: Hey sweetie. Oh good. (Takes the baking dish from her.)
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
Phoebe: Well the Lions technically won, but it was a moral victory for the Green Bay Mermen.
(They sit down at the table and Will goes to talk to Rachel.)
Rachel: Really?! Arent you sweet! I gotta tell you though, I am, I am having the hardest time placing you. Oh-oh hang on! Did we umm, did we fool around at Lance Davis graduation party?
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
(Monica sets something on the table and removes the cover. It kinda looks like turkey.)
Monica: (laughs) This is Chandlers chicken. This is the turkey. (Sets down a huge turkey.)
Rachel: What? (Joey starts offering Ross some turkey.) Oh yknow what? Can we please keep the chicken and the turkey and everything on the other side of the table? The smell is just yuck!
Will: Well you should be. Screw it! Bring on the yams!
Monica: Okay. (Chandler grabs the dish from Monica and hands it to Will who starts dishing out a large helping.)
Will: Thats right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!
Will: Then why did it have the word eternity in it?
Monica: I swear I didnt. (To Ross and Will) Hey! Is that why you guys used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door?
Ross: Look Rach I-Im sorry, okay? I I was a stupid kid, okay? The only reason I joined
Ross: co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didnt handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.
Will: Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club.
Ross: It was no big deal. We-we said that the rumor was that umm you had both male and female reproductive parts.
Chandler: Everybody at my school heard it! You were the hermaphrodite cheerleader from Long Island?!
(Joey is now looking at Rachel, and since Rachels standing and hes sitting down and hes not looking at her face You get the picture.)
[Time Lapse, dinner has ended for everyone except Joey who looks like to have finished the turkey, until he turns the plate around and reveals he only ate one side.]
Joey: Oh yes I do. Otherwise whats next? Today Im just a guy who cant finish a turkey, but tomorrow Im the guy who eats half a Powerbar, wraps up the rest, and puts in the fridge? No! No, I just I justI gotta change my pants. (Gets up and heads for the door.) Jeans have no give. (Exits.)
Ross: Look, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasnt true?!
Rachel: Yes it is! I saw you guys going at it behind the card catalog!
Will: Mrs. Altman? She also made out with Takaka Ci-Kek the night before he went back to Thailand.
Rachel: Ohh, theres a picture of her in the yearbook actually.
Chandler: Well, she probably wasnt familiar with the process having spent most of her life sitting for oil paintings!
Ross: I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us. She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another. If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Monica: All right, listen youre just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school and everyone wanted to be like you. One girl wanted to be like you so much she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll!
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
Ross: As a romancer of the elderly.
Monica: Hey! Mrs. Altman was the kind of woman you could tell she used to be pretty.
Ross: The eyes did still sparkle.
Monica: Hey guys this stuff is just so way in the past. You-youve been through so much since then. And right now youve got so much more important stuff going on in your life. Cant you just let this go?
Joey: (entering, wearing the maternity pants from earlier) All right wheres that turkey!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Will has left and the rest of the gang is watching Joey finish the turkey.]
Joey: Well thats it. Im done. Whew! (Wipes his forehead.) There come the meat sweats. (Chandler hands him a towel and he wipes his face.)
Chandler: Yes, I believe we can expect a call from the President any moment now.
Rachel: You can keep those pants by the way.
Joey: Ah, just cut me a little sliver. (Monica prepares to cut a little sliver.) A little bigger. (Monica prepares to cut a bigger piece.) Little bigger. (Monica moves the knife again.) What?! Are you afraid youre gonna run out?! Cut me a real piece!
Ross: Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground!
(She gets up and storms out. The people at the other tables are staring at Chandler.)
Chandler: No, the babys out! Look, look!
Phoebe: (she stops reading from the script) Oh my God.
Rachel: Okay, no, that's not the right decision. That's not, that's not right, no Ross-Ross, come on! I mean, that woman made you miserable! Okay, Ross, do you really want to get back into that?
Chandler: Oh, we had a lot of liquor left over from the Christmas party.
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. Its about being with the people that you love.
Sandy: Actually studies have shown that the movement and colours help their cerebral development... The whimsical characters are just for us. (He winks to Joey and Rachel. Ross's face says he disapproves. Joey sees that and kind of angrily says...)
Monica: I eat by myself in the alley because everybody hates me.
Joey: Hey, (in the Joey voice) how you doin?
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
JOEY: Uhh, I'm guessing the threshold's clear now.
Joey: Listen, the next time you talk to him, can you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is?
Joey: How about those fries though, huh? (Holds the plate between Sarah’s fingers and his plate, thus blocking her from reaching his)
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Phoebe: Him youre friends with. (Starts looking at the children trying to find Jack and a teacher notices her.)
Joey: Pretty great! Except I did get a little attitude from the robot.
Joey: Hey, who wants to ah, throw the ball around a little, maybe get a little three on three going?
JOEY: Thanks.� (Joey and Chandler exit to the hall.� Joey pulls out the tickets and hands one to Chandler.)� Here's your ticket.
Chandler: (on machine) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (The machine beeps off.)
Phoebe: (angered by the rubbing) Yes! I know! I know! Yeah! So the baby is totally craving meat. This afternoon I tried tricking it, I made it a soy-burger to make it think it was getting meat, yknow? And I got nauseous.
Stranger: And it is annoying when parents put their baby on the phone...
Monica: Maybe we could call the phone company. Maybe they could change the message. Maybe they can change his number.
Mike: Alright, fine. We'll give the money back.
(They run down the street with Ross and Rachel following right behind them.)
Phoebe: Yes!! Yes!! Im the next caller! You were gonna have me hang up.
Chandler: What the hell are you doing?
Chandler: You like the Purple Rain display! (A guy walks up.) Hey Bob.
Jill: Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. (she kisses him on the cheek) See ya.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, continued from earlier, everyone is now in the living room drinking champagne.]
Ross: The guy you gave your number to.
Joey: (to the guy operating the chipper) Hey! Hey!! (makes the cut it motion with his hands)
Katie: Aww, like I could hurt you. Are you making fun of my size? Don't make fun of me because of my size! (She punches him again and almost knocks him off the arm of the couch.)
CHANDLER: Nah, Phoebs, that's the guy that comes in the frame.
CHANDLER: You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?
Phoebe: No, yeah! The groom cannot see the bride!
Chandler: So you might say, the ring is irreplaceable? (Gives Joey a little squeeze.)
The Interviewer: Great! Well, it was nice meeting all of you.
Phoebe: (to the Charity guy) We're back!
Woman: Hi, were the Rostins. Err, Im J.C., and hes Michael, and were having a boy, and a girl.
[Phoebe walks from the living room to the kitchen and talks quietly to Rachel.]
Joey: Ha-ha, very funnyLook! I dont know what to do! I really want you guys to get along. Just please come to the movie with us. I mean you owe me!
Chandler: Oh no, yes we do my man. Remember when we were back in college and we went to that spring dance and you walked right up to that girl you liked and you could not stop talking about the Irish potato famine?
(She slowly grabs the chains of the swing, swings her hair back, and sits down.)
Monica: What the hell is this? (holding up the check)
Rachel: So whos idea was it to put everybody in the diner on skates?
Dr. Long: Actually, I think youre ready to go to the delivery room.
Monica: (looking out the peephole) Ohh, shes looking down the hall. Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you cant see people through that little hole, can you? (Goes back to the door.) Hello!
[Scene: The Cooking Class, Joey is trying to cook as the teacher walks over to him.]
Ross: Rach, you can't call people at three in the morning.
Chandler: Yes, and I was saying the actual words.
Phoebe: (in a French accent) Uh, excuse me. Uh, I am Reginé Philange. I was passing by when I heard this man speaking the regional dialect of my French town of Estée Lauder.
(The doctor hands the boy to the nurse, and she walks over to another part of the room with him.)
Phoebe: You're not making the pies yourself?
MONICA: [Opens the door] I need to borrow a hundred bucks.
Rachel: Well Joey, youll probably get it. But you should probably your-your gracious loser face. Yknow when like the cameras are on you and you wanna look disappointed but also that your colleague deserved to win. Yknow? So its sorta like (Does it, youll have to see it.)
Chandler: C'mon, we're roommates! (He goes into the bathroom, screams, and runs back out.) My eyes!! My eyes!!
Joey: (takes out the mouth guard) I know I dont have too! It tastes good. (Puts it back in.)
Phoebe: Hey! (Jumps on the bed with him.) Can we pick up where we left off?
Ross: We're still going at the game, right?
(Chandler makes a 'Cross my heart' sign. It starts to rain and he taps on the window.)
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I dont come to this city much so I dont know if youre crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Rachel: So shake it! (Rachel slaps Ross's butt on the beat)
Phoebe: I can do that for the kids.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is observing the new maid, Brenda, clean.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Joey: Check out the rack on this chick! (Turns around to point it out to Ross and finds that Ross is glaring at him. So he quickly puts his binoculars to his eyes and starts looking for the comet.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is relating his recent conversation with Emily to the gang.]
Ross: Yeah, yeah, what's with the trophy!
Ross: You may want to lose the foam finger!
Phoebe: Uh, we were at the Spelling Bee!
Mike: Yeah - not such a problem with rats. No, they're more of a "love the one you're with" kind of animals.
JOEY: [peeks back out] Ok, now that your coat is safely in the bedr-, [sees that the coast is clear] oh, ok we can come back out in the living room.
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
[Cut to the hall]
Phoebe: Wait-wait-wait-wait! So, explain something to me though, if, if nobody tagged Rachel, then isnt the play still going.
Ross: (Reading the note) We know you're out there. (Rachel gasps)
Monica: Its okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know, but... By the way I can still see it.
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
[time lapse – they are still in the hall]
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Janice is being moved to the delivery room and is screaming in pain.]
[cut to the hall]
[cut to the hall]
[cut to the hall]
Phoebe: (panicking) But Emma's got what it takes, she could go all the way!
Ross: Hey! I just spoke to your dad, and you know what? He seems to think well be able to find a new place for the wedding.
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
[Scene: Boarding the plane.]
RACHEL: Um, this is gonna sound kinda goofy but uhhm, my friend over there, who cooks by the way, um, she thinks you're cute.
Phoebe: Or, we can decide by whose ever name is closer to the word phone.
Rachel: Well you uh, you were always really good at the uh, at the uh the stuff.
Chandler: The cranberries...?
David: Where the story was that I was anticipating that I would be around to hear my sons first words spoken. But the scene was about that he wasnt supposed to be able to speak and, uh for some reason when we started doing the show
Joey: Oh! It all looks so beautiful: the turkey, the stuffing...
Chandler: They were just giving those away at the store (off Monicas look) in exchange for money.
Joey: Oh yeah! The casserole lady.
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Joey is miming hockey pucks kitting foreheads. Chandler realises it's getting tense and goes to the receptionist again.]
(Ross head appears above Joey's, Rachel's below Joey's and Phoebe's at the bottom)
[The next one is from Episode 608: The One With Rosss Teeth, Chandler is accusing Joey of becoming less of a man.]
(Monica takes it and reads the label)