words in movies
Rachel: Well, wait a minute, youre the boss! Why dont you just yell at them? Or, fire them?
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
Drew: Hold on, yknow I just got a box of Cubans, maybe I bring them by your office around uh, five?
Phoebe: No! No, the robots just work for them.
Ross: Not her. Yeah, this is someone else I meet, and I-I cant decide between the two of them. Yknow the one from Poughkeepsie, even though shes a two hour train ride away, is really pretty, really smart, and-and a lot of fun. But this other girl, well, she lives right uptown. Yknow shes, well shes-shes just as pretty, I guess shes smart, shes not fun.
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
Monica: Because your all gonna make up fake specials and make me cook them like you did the other night?
Phoebe: Well look, you dont really like the one from uptown and youre too exhausted from dating the one up in Poughkeepsie, so I say you just end them both. Okay? You take a train up to Poughkeepsie and break up with her, and on your way back you break up with uptown. And then by the time you get home tonight, youre done!
Woman On Train: I made a bet with myself that you have beautiful eyes. Now that I see them, I win.
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Ross: so then President Steve told everyone that I was a cheapskate, and now the whole building hates me! A little kid spit on my knee! Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna throw a party. That's right. For everyone in the building, and I'm gonna sit them down and explain to them, I am not a bad guy. I am not a cheap guy! I'm just a guy who-who stands up for what he believes in. A man with principles.
Phoebe: No, no, no, we’re not having a big reception, we took the money we were gonna spend on a wedding and we donate them to the children charity.
Phoebe: Oh, god. So adorable. Look at them sleeping there like angels.
Joey: I'm sorry! But hey, it's over now, right? Because you can tell them that you know they know and I can go back to knowing absolutely nothing!
Carol: Listen, we both know youre gonna do it cause youre not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Phoebe: Okay, you have 19 questions left. Use them wisely. (Joey groans.) Come on Joey! You cant win if you dont ask any (sees that hes asleep) QUESTIONS!!!
CHANDLER: See, this is the brilliance of the show. I say always keep them running. All the time, running. Run. Run Yasmine, run like the wind.
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
Ross: (happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.) (To Joey and Rachel) You guys probably wanna get some hugs in too, huh? Big news!
(Joey looks at them, disappointed about their decision)
Joey: I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! (A woman goes towards them)
Rachel: Huh. Except, Phoebes not gonna be the one that gets to dress them.
Chandler: Im right! Right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat, and now theres no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey told us what this means!
Mr. Geller: I dont know. They-they must be your mothers, but please, please dont ask her. Ill throw these away. (He puts them in his pocket as Ross finds something of interest in one of his boxes.)
Mrs. Geller: So Chandler, youre parents mustve been thrilled when you told them you were engaged.
Phoebe: Then what's wrong with them? Would they not go with your tiny portions of pretentious food?
Roy: Didn't do anything? I took a bus all the way from Hoboken. I climbed ... I dunno... like a billion stairs... It's not like I can take them two at a time!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's weekend, a hotel clerk is showing them their new room.]
Phoebe: Ohh, let me see it! Let me see your hand! (Chandler is frantically trying to wave them off.)
Joey: They go on one date and youre worried about them getting married?! Hes not you!
Monica: Oh (realizes her pants are undone and zips them up)!
Phoebe: Umm, this stuffing is amazing. Do you think we should bring them some?
Joey: It's easy, you just walk in on them having sex.
Phoebe: Personal shopping? What is that? Like where you walk around with snooty rich people and tell them what to buy?
[Scene: continued from earlier, only now Phoebe joins them.]
Joey: Mhm, maybe she used them with another boyfriend. Maybe Richard!
Ross: Oh hey, dont thank me, thank yourself. Youre the one who faced her fears and ultimately overcame them.
Phoebe: No, yeah, we never find them! She's always best at us, that wily... minx.
Phoebe: YOU’RE SO GENEROUS AND KIND AND (crowd stops cheering) YOU'RE AMAZING IN BED (everyone hears it and stare at them.) (to everybody) IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY!
Rachel: Theyre not!! Ross, theyre just saving them for the important people!! Okay?! What-what if I was the president?!
Phoebe: Go Charlie! But my point is, ok so she dated them but she also broke up with them. Maybe she's looking to, you know, slum it with some average Joe Phd.
Ross: What? No! No! I am not gonna hide it from PhoebeOoh, although I did get some great Pottery Barn sheets! (Gets them.)
Monica: You gotta go home and get the earrings that you borrowed from me okay? Chandler wants me to wear them tonight.
Chandler: Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. And I promise, next time to submit you whether I think you are right for the part or not.
Rachel: Ok, that's it! Just give'em to me! I'll split them up! (she tries to snatch the bowl from Joey's hands but she can't, so she pinches his nipple and she manages to take it)
Rachel: Okay, listen, I'm thinking, why don't we just tell them who we really are? I mean, it'll be fine, I really think it'll be fine.
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Chandler: Yeah (motions them to sit and they do) I'm not having an affair. Nancy is our realtor.
Phoebe: Oh wait, I change my mind! (She slams the door on them.) Okay, let's talk about the party! I have so many ideas! (Holds up a cocktail napkin.)
David: Are... are you kidding? You know, when you don't see someone for a long time, a-a-and you kind of build them up in your head and you start thinking about: Come on, don't be crazy. Nobody is that beautiful, but... well, you are. (Phoebe seems very charmed) Well, so, uhm... are you seeing... anyone? (Phoebe is still up on a cloud from what David just said)
Rachel: (ignoring them) Monica, why? Why would I ever want to take away from your night?
Richard: (approaching them with a woman in tow) Monica! Chandler!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the triplets are all in their crib as Monica and Phoebe watch them.]
Rachel: Well, I was actuallyI-I came over here to-to borrow this lamp. To umm, look at my books, y'know, see them a little better.
Rachel: No, I-I just dont know how you decide who to hire. I mean Ive got it narrowed down to two people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then theres this guy
ROSS: Hootie and the--oh my. I, I can catch them on the radio.
Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.
Ross: (standing) Ok, gentlemen! Please! Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, right? We're academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. (he starts to run away with Charlie). GO, GO, GO! (the paleontologists starts chasing them)
(Joey finishes climbing the stairs and sees them. Chandler and Rachel both stop and look up at him. Joey sits down on the step.)
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are returning to find Ross is there waiting for them.]
Rachel: No, I have two sisters. But one of them has a very masculine energy.
Phoebe: Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received.
Phoebe: Oh, god, the last time I babysat them, they did the funniest thing..
Joey: Hmm. Do you sleep with women and never call them again?
Phoebe: (gets up and sits between them) Okay-okay, why dont I sit here and youll both stop it!
Monica: Okay, Im never gonna wear them again. I just didnt get a chance to say goodbye.
Monica: You see, if wed gone around them like I said, weShe wouldve given us those tickets. Damnit!
Phoebe: You guys. You suck too. (She hugs them both.)
Rachel: You know what? I don't want to be with them either, but it's Thanksgiving and we should not want to be together, together. (Goes to unlock the door)
Ross: Yes. I mean, its what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. Thats why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) Im fine.
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Chandler: Well, she walked in when I was looking at the ring brochures. You can understand that, right? (Ross and Joey look at each other and go back to watching the game on TV.) Guys? Guys? (Walks in front of them again.)
(Rachel and Joey are still looking at Chandler, slowly letting his words get to them)
{Note: Does anyone else want to smack Ross right about now? Raise your hands. Okay, put them down before you stink out the person next to you.}
Ross: (covering with his hand Chandler's face, like pretending he's not there) (to Monica) There're these two professors who are joining my department and I have to meet them here and show them around campus.
Phoebe: Oh, I'm sorry, oh, I just, I thought we could have them whipped and then add some peas and onions.
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
Monica: And, and, and they wear those little water wings, you know. And they're, they're running around on the deck. Then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of them.
Phoebe: Well y'know every time that they say that like they're doing laundry we'll just give them a bunch of laundry to do.
Monica: Yeah! Oh and interesting because I found the cameras in one of our bags! (Throws them into his chest.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sitting behind the drums wearing safety goggles, hitting them with his sticks as Rachel watches.]
The Dry Cleaner: Russians! It showed them as terrorists and villains!
RACHEL: She's right. She's right. You are no different than the rest of them.
Janice: Oh, are you sure? Really? Because you know, you could make little puppets out of them, and you could use them in your theater of cruelty.
Joey: Uhh, thats not them. Im gonna go call the police.
(Suddenly, everyone stands up and comes out of hiding. All of them are glaring at Monica.)
(Chandler and Monica's, all three of them are listening at the wall to Ross and Charlie's)
Joey: What? No, the only reason I'm going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here.
Chandler: I don't know, I-I have to listen to both of them, they don't exactly let each other finish...
Ross: No, no, no... why, because it might get weird for everyone else? Who cares about them. This is about us. Look, I-I've been in love with you since, like, the ninth grade.
Phoebe: Sure you can! Give them some blocks, put them in a playpen!
Monica: I cant! I spent so much money on them and I told Chandler that Id wear them all the time, I just cant give them away!
Rachel: Oh, I can't. Because I-I've seen them.
Monica: What about all the guys that you've got the phone numbers from? Why don't you just kiss one of them?
Phoebe: No, dont look directly at them!
Ross: Oh God, thank you! (Runs and gives all of them a group hug.) Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens Id like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
Chandler: What? No, I'm taking Monica to a romantic inn in Vermont (shows them a brochure)!
[ Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. Chandler, Monica and Emma are sitting on the floor, and Emma's stuffed animals are lined up in front of them.]
JOEY: It's gonna be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies, all righ? Women love guys who love babies. It's that whole sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack o' babes over there. Maybe one of them will break away. No, no wait, for get them, we got one, hard left. All right, gimme the baby.
Ross: I'm gonna stop you right there, Glenda. Okay? Does it look like this is my first time, huh? Now I want 4 two's... and I want them all on my back.
[Next is a shot of them dragging an enormous plant into the room, then Monica knitting a sweater, then Phoebe singing, then Phoebe shaving him and chatting to Monica]
Ross: Well, we're applying to a lot of them. Naturally our first choice would be one of the bigger state zoos, y'know, like, uh, San Diego... right? But that might just be a pipe dream, because, y'know, he's out of state. Uh, my vet, uh, knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility.
Rachel: Ill take all of your photos and put them into photo albums!
PHOEBE: Yeah, eight of them. That's 56 to him. You know also, if, if it's raining, you can't let him look up too long 'cause that cone'll fill up really really fast.
Joey and Chandler: Oh no-no-no! (Monica mutes the TV and they tentatively look behind them)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the guys are now trying to figure out what next to do, since their plan with the stripper backfired on them.]
Joey: Oh! Hey, somebody left their keys. (Looks at them) Ooohh, to a Porsche! {Transcribers note: Oh come on! Who would leave the keys to their Porsche behind? If I had a Porsche, Id have the keys surgically attached to my hand!} Hey Gunther, these yours?
Rachel: No no no no no. You wanted me to take them down, so... (she climbs onto the railing to reach the top of a pole) ..Im takin em down. Okay? Whoa! (Screams.)