words in movies
Rachel: Well, wait a minute, youre the boss! Why dont you just yell at them? Or, fire them?
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
Drew: Hold on, yknow I just got a box of Cubans, maybe I bring them by your office around uh, five?
Phoebe: No! No, the robots just work for them.
Ross: Not her. Yeah, this is someone else I meet, and I-I cant decide between the two of them. Yknow the one from Poughkeepsie, even though shes a two hour train ride away, is really pretty, really smart, and-and a lot of fun. But this other girl, well, she lives right uptown. Yknow shes, well shes-shes just as pretty, I guess shes smart, shes not fun.
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
Monica: Because your all gonna make up fake specials and make me cook them like you did the other night?
Phoebe: Well look, you dont really like the one from uptown and youre too exhausted from dating the one up in Poughkeepsie, so I say you just end them both. Okay? You take a train up to Poughkeepsie and break up with her, and on your way back you break up with uptown. And then by the time you get home tonight, youre done!
Woman On Train: I made a bet with myself that you have beautiful eyes. Now that I see them, I win.
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
(Ross and Emilys parents are seated at a table. Ross is between them and they are discussing the wedding bill.)
Phoebe: Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own
Mackenzie: Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it?
Chandler: So who's gonna tell them?
Phoebe: Okay. Oh but dont tell them Monicas pregnant because, they frown on that.
Rachel: Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. (She introduces them.) Hes the head of my department.
Rachel: Oh, well. Everything that I need (she takes her bag) is in here and my travel documents are on the counter organized in the order that I will be needing them.
Ross: Come on, show them to me. (reaches for her cards, Rachel covers them up)
Chandler: Wow! Look at them run.
Fireman No. 1: You guys tell them you were married?
RACHEL: Ya know, I just, so weird. I mean I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other and all I kept thinking about was the fourth of July.
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
[Joey shows them the torn-up newspaper.]
Phoebe: Okay, well Ill bring them by tomorrow morning. Okay, and uh, by the way, theyre not actually puppies, theyre Frank and Alices triplets. Okay, see ya! (Exits.)
Phoebe: Well tell that to them. Oh! You cant, their dead.
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what youre thinking, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and youre right, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Joey: Come on Rach, not again. I got it! Okay? Lets start sailing, and I want to go over there (Points) where that boatload of girls is! (Yelling to them) Yo-ho-ho!
(Robin interrupts her again by complaining loudly to Billy as the camera cuts to them.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there. Bonnie is telling them of her sex-capades.]
Joey: I did that too! They wouldnt give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again theyd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them Im missing a ring!"
JOEY: Yeah. Uh, oh, OH, the best part, c'mon. [leads them to the bathroom, gestures towards toilet, everyone stares, uncomprehending] Heh?
Ross: Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? Im not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. Im horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Yknow, something that says were moving forward without having to talk about it.
Monica: Yeah, Ive had them picked out since I was fourteen.
Chandler: No, I just always see guys doing this when they get handcuffs taken off them. (He runs over to where his pants are hanging) Hello sweet pants!
Joey: No, I'm not questioning it, I'm saying it's stupid! (Notices Monica standing between them and smiling.) What?! (The camera clicks, taking another picture.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Maybe we should give them some privacy.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, Frank. I counted them when they were coming out of my area.
Monica (as Rachel): ..well, why don't you tell them? After all it, is your ankle.
Rachel: Uh-huh... why... do you not like them?
Cecilia: That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like (She grabs the back of his neck and kisses him passionately causing them to fall onto the couch.)
Joey: Well maybe I got a little upset and maybe I told them where they could go.
Phoebe: You saved them! You guys! Oh God, youre the best!
Chandler: It's ok, it's ok. You know what? (Takes out his mobile) I'll just call the agency and tell them to throw out the letter. (starts dialing)
Ross: Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women dont even feel them.
Phoebe: Well, then you should come tonight. You know, just hang out with them. Let them see what a great guy you still are.
Rachel: Yeah I know, but one of them just said that she loved me so I just gave her everything.
PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".
Ross: (happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.)
Mike's mom: No... It's lovely. The lights and the snow. I could look at them forever.
Phoebe: Alright, here's my $7.50. (Hands them the money) But I think you should know that this money is cursed.
Emily: (Yelling from inside the bathroom) Youve spoiled everything! Its like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?!
(Chandler pushes him through the door and Monica closes it behind them.)
Phoebe: See, we dont need them.
Joey: All right look, let me show you the catalog! (Does so.) See? Huh? It's the latest thing! Everyone's got one! Men! Women! Children! Everyone's carrying them!
Rachel: Well, yknow he lost his keys so he was looking for them
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Joey: Thanks for stopping by. See ya! (Throws them out and closes the door.) (To Cecilia) I-I am so sorry. I
Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
Monica: Okay. (Starting to go through them) Oh! A coloring book! (Holding it up.)
Ross: Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and besides Emma loves them. You know what, you should come with us and you'll see!
Joey: You know, on the one hand you're happy for them, but on the other hand it's hard to let go.
CHANDLER: That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get.
Monica: Well I dont have them either. Where are they?
Monica: Hey. Its three in the morning. They dont know that Ive come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Mr. Waltham: Sorry old boy, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. (Them all walk away. As he leaves he mutters to Jack.) I could kill you with my thumb, you know.
Phoebe: No, Im really okay with this. Yknow why? Cause look at them, and I made that, so I know its gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but, oh my God, its gonna feel like a million times better, right? I wanna do this. (To Frank and Alice) I wanna carry your baby.
Rachel: What are you talking about? I love them! (Looks into the cage) Yeah, I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it-it died, because my cat ate it. And then, then my cat died. But Joey, isn't this cool?
Monica: All right, Ill take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and thats it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. (to Ross) Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all?
Rachel: Well, it doesnt sound like it! I mean, its pretty easy not to kiss someone, you just dont kiss them! See look at us, right now, not kissing!
MONICA: Listen, um honey, I appreciate this but you don't have to keep hanging out with them for me, I mean, they have each other.
JOEY: Closed set. We know but we're friends with the monkey. [guard lets them in]
Chandler: Well, youre welcome. And tell them were really glad theyre coming.
Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
Uncle Dan: Heres a little something to get you started. (Hands them a check)
The Second Guest: We went to college with both of them and now we live next door.
CHANDLER: Yeah, I mean, it would be rude to them for us to leave now.
Monica: Ooh, these tennis shoes are so tight. I think Ill take them off. (Goes to do so.)
Monica: Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that youre really sarcastic, or that, yknow, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, its the one with the fake chocolate. Monica has baked some cookies and Phoebe is trying them.]
MONICA: So, I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat rice it kills them.
Monica: Ross, if you dont tell them, then I will!
Monica: Ah no, you see, someone was supposed to take them down around New Years... but obviously someone forgot.
Ross: Turns out them Emily is just crazy about Susan. Yeah, theyre going to the theatre together! Theyre going to dinner! Theyre going horseback riding!
Joey: Somehow they got the idea that you only invited them because of me. They feel a little unwanted.
Rachel: Well, you know I'm not surprised. I mean have you seen them together, they're really cute.
Monica: Look Rach, we have to move. I mean if they had lost, we wouldve made them get rid of the birds. Right?
(She rises, dragging Chandler along by the wool. Rachel has to leap over a chair to follow them. Monica opens the door to find Mr. Heckles standing there.)
Phoebe: Oh my God!! (She runs after him, but sets of the security system, which locks the stores door and brings down a set of bars behind her, caging her in.) No! What?! Help me! Let me out! Now! (Points the musket at them.)
Ross: (happily again) You were worried about me? You didn't know how I was going to react? (He hugs them both.)
(Ross lets them both sit in his chair.)
Monica: See Chandler? Im getting a lot of use out of them already! Theyre very practical. See, you can wear them with dresses, with skirts, with pants
Monica: No, no! We should divide them up (picks up the bowl) and I should get extra because we used my card to buy them!
Chandler: You do know, I can just turn them the other way around, right?
Phoebe: Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also now that they bring happiness to lots of kids who's moms didn't kill themselves, so by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed.
Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)
Monica: (Angrily.) You can let some of them go by!(Judy and Andrea go to the front of the chapel. Joey approaches Monica.)
Ross: Im just glad I brought that extra pair of socks, yknow? I used them as mittens, I didnt want to touch a thing in that last place.
Mrs. Geller: Can we talk to you for just a yknow Its just a little thing. Well we think its absolutely marvelous that youre having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why weve told them all that youre married.
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
RACHEL: Alright, just put your hands out and I'll back up into them.
Frank: Hey, yknow I was thinking, what are the odds like if-if, if you stuff like 200 of them in there?
Ross: Ah-ha, nowhere to run! (He starts to run towards them.)
ROSS: Yeah, that way I figure, ya know, we'll be far enough away from our parents that we don't have to see them all the time but close enough that they can come over and babysit whenever we want. And yes, I know, the taxes are a little higher than, let's say, Nassau county but the school system's supposedly great.
CHAN: One. . . two. . . two and a half. OK, just show me one of them.
Rachel: Well, Im sorry, I thought you needed them!
PHOEBE: Well you know, you juist, you eat them and you can tell.
Mike: Ok, fine, these rats are our responsibility. What happens when they mate and there are hundreds of them?
Joey: Is it her fault that some of them didnt make it to you?