words in movies
(They try to stop him, not sure of what he's planning. He ignores them and goes to talk to Ross.)
Ross: Yes it is. See. (Shows them the piece of paper she gave him with her name and phone number on it.)
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
Monica: I like them a lot.
(They all speak at once in general approval of his pants selection; Joey asks where he got them. I can't pick out the rest of it.)
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
(He goes to pull up his pants, but can't seem to get them past his knees. He frantically tries to pull them up to no avail. Panic sets in.)
Joey: No, I'm not questioning it, I'm saying it's stupid! (Notices Monica standing between them and smiling.) What?! (The camera clicks, taking another picture.)
Ross: No, I-I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off but they must have shrunk from the-the sweat or-or-or my legs expanded from the heat. Look, I-I can't put them back on. I can't!
(Ross opens the door and steps into the living room. He has fully removed his pants and holds them wrapped into a ball in front of his crotch. His legs are covered in the powder and lotion paste. He looks terrible.)
Joey: Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen (Phoebe returns and interrupts them.)
Chandler: Yes, every single one of them.
Monica: I'm so glad you liked them!
Ross: Thats, thats pretty. (They start to dance and Gert tries to step on Rosss feet, but he pulls them out of harms way.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing there Gert?
Phoebe: What?! You can't separate them! That's terrible. Which one?
MONICA: No, I don't even know how serious he is about me. Until I do, I'm not telling them anything.
Chandler: Yeah well, too bad were gonna have to return them.
Chandler: It's "Ride of the Valkyries" from "Apocalypse Now"... See, here's the thing: The corn rose were really a solution to your frizzy hair problem. And now that we're home, we don't have that problem anymore, so if you think about it... I hate them!
Chandler: (looking at them) They look great! Does your boyfriend have the best taste or what?
Monica (to Ross): Okay, well, stop staring at them.
Ross: (to the rest of them) Yeah-yeah you guys. Get out of here!
(They almost kiss and then Joey realises her kids are staring at them)
Joey: Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but ah, I dont think any of them are gonna work out.
Monica: That doesn't matter! We have waited so long for this. I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies! I don't care if the entire cast of "Eight is Enough" comes out of there! We are taking them home, because they are our children!
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
Monica: You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike! (to Phoebe and Mike). Now, in regard to the toast, okay, you wanna keep them short, nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. You just get in, do your thing and get out!
Joey: I know! I know! And Im going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They Theyre like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I I dont think we can be together. It just, it just cant work. It cant. (Starts to break up) Im very upset.
Monica: Okay, come here! (Phoebe joins them in the hug.)
(Matt turns back and looks and them, but instead of his next line he starts laughing.)
Phoebe: (entering with Rachel) and I-I can't take it! Y'know? I'm just, always afraid one of them is gonna catch me with the other one. It's making me crazy.
Phoebe: No! You don't have to do anything! Just don't tell them that we know!
Phoebe: So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?
Ross: And tell them what? The naked guy we stare at all the time isnt moving.
Ross: Yeah, I know, I uh, I tried them on.
Monica: Right, you only go for them 5 minutes before they get married.
(Chandler and Monica both turn, take the rings from Ross and Rachel respectively, and place them on each others fingers.)
Rachel: Well yknow, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time theyre 40, they marry each other.
Joey: Come on! Look just-just telllet her know that you really want them to be there. Lets not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.
Woman: Thatd be great, thanks. (Gunther goes and gets them.)
Ross: Well we haven't offically asked them yet, but we would want Monica and Chandler.
Monica: Yeah, I changed them. I-I sent you a fax about it!
Ross: All right, lets not jump to any conclusions. All right? There was some sexual chemistry between them.
Rachel: No, honey, they're not, but don't worry, because we are going to find them, and until we do, we are all here for you, ok?
Phoebe: Ok, ok, you start preparing the formula and I start changing the box and then we gotta put them straight to bed.
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Joey: I left them at the park.
Melissa: I-Ive got to go. This has been so great Ray-ray! (Gunther returns with her cigarettes.) Oh, there you are. (Takes them from Gunther.) (To Rachel) Umm, so listen, just call me. Heres my card. (Hands the card over.)
(Neither of them turns around from watching the chick and the duck look for the tasty treat.)
(Chandler leans back against the wall and Ross and Joey hear him. Ross and Joey both notice at the same time. They slowly stop, and then very slowly turn around to see Chandler staring at them.)
Monica: Okay. (She gets off him.) God well, we gotta go back and get them!
MONICA: No, but that's probably 'cause I haven't asked them yet.
(Two girls sitting at a table next to them look up in disgust, and Ross and Joey move away)
Mr. Geller: Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on how to get pregnant. (He slides them under the door.)
Rachel: (on tape) I-I knowI had put them in in-in my desk at work and I completely forgot about them until today.
Monica: (joining them) Hey.
Monica: It was so wild. We told them we were the Gunnersens in room six fifteen. Only to find out the Boston Celtics had taken over the entire sixth floor!
Rachel: (joining them) Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didnt call. I mean youd think hed be worried about me not showing up at his club. Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont!
Carol: Oh, I love them. Each one's like a little party in my uterus.
Rachel: Yeah that seems fair. We never use them.
Ross: Hey, if they have a ball maybe you can stick razor blades in it and teach them a new game, Gonna Need Stitches Ball.
Guys: Hockey! (They go to leave but are blocked by three of Rachel's friends, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne. The guys pause to stare at them.) Hockey! Hockey. (The guys.)
Joey: Well, I've been thinking about this whole commercial thing, y'know me going up against Ben, the two of us competing, and that can't lead to anything good. So, I think I'm just gonna step aside. I'm gonna tell them that I won't audition.
Chandler: I dont care! (turns around and to the people watching them) I dont care!!
Chandler: You gave them one day's notice, not everyone in our class checks the web site everyday and Monica... it's probably the way you stand!
Monica: Chandler! (Joey and his grandmother shush them and wave them away, which they do.) Okay, let me get this straight, it's okay for you to flirt, but not for me.
Rachel: Oh, God, ask them what they want.
Phoebe: Joey? How could you just let them leave?
Ross: They don't like it when you keep asking them if they like you.
(She finishes cutting them up and they all cheer.)
(Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them)
Rachel: Just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them.
(Chandler runs to check on them coming up the stairs.)
Monica: (entering from her bedroom carrying a present) Ok, these were unbelievably expensive, and I know he's gonna grow out of them in like, 20 minutes, but I couldn't resist. (There a little pair of Nike shoes.)
Chandler: (joining them) Okay, how'd it go at the doctor's?
Ross: Well I checked in the uh, lost and found, I talked to the manager, no-ones turned them.
The Woman: Please! I have people coming from out of town today! And, I told them all about your candy!
Monica: Hand me those tomatoes, Im gonna show you what it should taste like! Come on, hand me them.
Will: Could you also tell them Im skinny now?
Monica: How'd you pay for them?
Joey's Doctor: Kidney stones! Now, ordinarily Mr. Tribbiani, we try to break up the stones up with shock waves, but they're to close to the bladder now. Which means we can either wait for you to pass them or else go up the urethra
Aurora: ...Like, ...all of them?
(Monica does a fake laugh. For the laughs, you'll have to see the episode. I can't describe them.)
Chandler: Well, I was cleaning out the closet and I found some pictures of them... being used.
Phoebe: No, yeah, we never find them! Shes always best at us that wily minx.
Ross: (showing them the page) Here, check it out. Its the first one, too.
Monica: (removes them) Thats because I-I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer, and its static cling. Or maybe its just that God knew Id be running into you and saw an opportunity.
Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.
Monica: I have been looking for them all week and she is wearing them!
Monica: No, no, no, I don't make chocolate pies. When I was younger I-I enter in this pie-eating contest. I ate so many that just the thought of them made me sick.
Phoebe: Well, 'cause then they'd be like my mom used to make them, you know, before she died.
Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, this is so stupid! I mean, I gave Barry up, right? I should be happy for them! I am, I'm happy for them.
Rachel: I’m telling you guys, we followed them out to a house in Westchester, the went in for like forty-five minutes and then they came out looking pretty happy!
Monica: How about, youre moving!! (Grabs a bunch of clothes and throws them into a box. What follows is a brief sequence of Rachel unpacking and Monica packing the same stuff over and over again as Rachel chants "No." and Monica chants "Yes.")
Ross: Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldnt. Thats why Im here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-thats a no.
(The guy walks past them)
Monica: (coming back to the stage and sitting next to Chandler) Okay, Ive got some Ones, you wanna put them in her panties?
Phoebe: And! And, theyre gonna have a baby! (The gang is shocked.) And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus. (The gang is stunned into silence.)
Monica: No, I just talked to them.
Rachel: Phoebe you cant have both of them! You have to pick one!
Rachel: No, really. Really, Pheebs, youre not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college, or yelling at them when theyre bad, yknow, or deciding to put them on Ritalin when they just wont calm down. Yknow?
Joey: You usually find them on the 'heaving beasts'.
Chandler: We used them as pillows when we went camping.
Phoebe: (waking and startling them) Oh! What what what! ...Hi.
Monica: Joey, why dont you put them in the lost and found?
(A man carrying a box of bananas walks past them. They stare for a minute and then hobble after him)
Monica: Give them to me.
Joey: (thinking) Uhm... oh! Okay. You come with me, and you tell them that the house is haunted!
Chandler: She doesnt know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I cant even return them, because she choked on the reciept!
Sarah: (approaching with two filled balloons in her hands) Nobody! We put them in here! (Indicates the aforementioned balloons causing both of them to scream in delight and start drinking from the balloons.)
Chandler: No, wed just like to close them.
Ross: Oh hey, show them the picture of your uterus.