words in movies
Monica: Hey, let me tell them!
Roy: Didn't do anything? I took a bus all the way from Hoboken. I climbed ... I dunno... like a billion stairs... It's not like I can take them two at a time!
Chandler: (to the two guys) Excuse me. (Chandler and Ross move away from them). That didn't make us sound gay at all!
Chandler: ADRIENNE TURNER!! (A girl behind them turns around)
Rachel: I know. But if some guy who looks like Corey Haim wants to kiss me tonight, I'm sooo gonna let them! (They spot Chandler)
Joey: Things that go "tssst" when you put them out.
[Behind them, Joey goes up to the bandleader and interrupts the song.]
Phoebe: That is so great! Oh, I... (sees that a parked car near them has caught on fire) Oh my God!
Bonnie: (joining them) Hey guys.
Chandler: Yeah, I've been to these places before, but I've never really seen them, you know.
Joey: What? Are you out of your mind? Lets throw some jello on them.
Monica: Yeah, and yknow, if you could not mention to them that we live together, that would be great! (Quickly trying to change subjects), I was thinking we would eat around four.
Ross: Yeah! Wed meet, wed meet total strangers, and hang out with them!
Ross: Joey, Im not worried about her! Im worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
Chandler: You look great. I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner, you know, I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them.
Rachel: Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing (A woman at the table behind them overhears Chandlers name and starts listening closer), my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that
(We hear them start making out upstairs.)
Rachel: Yeah. (Monica walks away) Nice try! (Rachel puts them in a box.)
Phoebe: But I already gave them back to you!
Chandler: Ya know if you want to, I can just hold them down and you could (Punches the air).
Chandler: No-no, wait! There's got to be a better explanation. You can tell them you had to make an adult film for your (Thinks) adult film class.
Joey: I know, it was the best I could get out of them.
(Jamie Buchman and Fran Devanow enter the coffee house. They look about them as Jamie removes her coat and scarf.)
(Rachel is slowing trying to leave and let them talk.)
ERICA: Oh Drake, you are so talented, let me see those hands. Oh these hands, these beautiful hands, oh I could just eat them. . . but I won't.
Monica: What did you tell them?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading on the couch while Joey, still suffering from his hernia, is returning with coffee for them both. After a series of grunts and groans he manages to painfully walk back from the counter, sit down, and slide Chandler his coffee.]
Monica: They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again.
Mike: Oh, that's ok. I don't care which of them I beat.
Chandler: Yes there are, I just saw them a few minutes ago.
(Rachel unlocks and opens the door to reveal a half-naked Chandler handcuffed to the chair. They both gasp and Chandler stares at them in shock and surprise.)
Monica: Yeah, I think we're ready for our first course. (Steve sits, Monica brings over a tray) OK, um, these are rot-shrimp ravioli, and celantro pondou sauce... (Steve starts to eat them one by one, quickly)... with just a touch of mints... and... (he finishes)... ginger.
Phoebe: Okay, what about after I give you these candies? (Hands them each one from her purse.)
MONICA: Why? It's not like I'm putting little nipples on them.
Rachel: Do you have anything that would... get us out of them?
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
(Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey all scooch over to let them sit down.)
Rachel: Well, these aren't mine. Maybe Monica used to use them with...
Rachel: Well honey, then why don't you break up with one of them?
Rachel: (to them) Just a minute!!! (She takes the candy and opens the door to two parents, a witch, a clown, and a cowgirl.) Look at you guys! Wow! You are a very scary witch. (Gives her candy.)
MR. GELLER: Gosh, we talked about that but your brother has so many science trophies and plaques and merit badges, well we didn't want to disturb them.
Joanna: With them, under them, whats the difference? Eh, Rach?
[Scene: The Bing household, Mr. and Mrs. Bing and Young Chandler are eating Thanksgiving dinner as a housekeeper serves them.]
Gunther: And when you have a second later, I wanna show you why we dont just trap spiders under coffee mugs and leave them there.
Joshua: Huh. Oh, boy! (Sits down next to her.) Uhh, I-I dont wear suits to work, and I bought six of them from you.
(Carol, Ross's ex-wife, has entered behind them and is standing outstide the exhibit.)
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
Monica: Okay. Wait, just give me a second, I need to just get my boots off first. (She starts taking them off.) Ah Ooh Oohh Ohh Oh God Ohh Oh Ohh Ohhhh
Ross: Look, I-I drew a sketch about how we're gonna do it. (Showing them) Okay Rach, (points to the sketch) that's you. That's the couch. (Points again.)
Chandler: Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers, I'm gonna need them on my desk by nine o'clock.
CHANDLER: I was not trying them out, Susie asked me to wear them.
(They hug as Phoebe and Joey stare at the two of them.)
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
RICHARD: Yeah, I know. I hate it too. Look, maybe we should just tell them.
Ross: I just wanted to thank you again for last night, what a great party! And the guys from work had a blast. Yknow, one of them had never been to a bachelor party before. Yeah! And-and another one had never been to a party before, so
Chandler: Why not? We could give each of them half a medallion, and then years later, they'll find each other and be reunited. I mean, that's a great day for everybody.
Monica: Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour.
Phoebe: Okay, scarfs done. (Its not really a scarf, its just a bunch of yarn that Phoebe has tied together. Just then, Ross and Emily enter dragging with them Joey and Chandler.)
Gunther: Oh umm, uh we dont sell cigarettes, but they have them at the newsstand across the street. (Points.)
Chandler: No, I ah, I didnt do them.
Chandler: I tell people secrets. It makes them like me.
Rachel: Y'know what Chandler, you got yourself into those cuffs, you get yourself out of them.
(They move to kiss, but realise that Chandler is staring at them. Chandler urges them on.)
(Joey smiles at them. Rachel looks annoyed)
MONICA: I'm gonna set them to my time.
Rachel: Oh my God! (She licks the top picture and hands them back.)
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Phoebe: Why don't you turn them inside ou...
Ross: Oh no. Dont, dont, dont start packing. Come on! (She puts some clothes into her bag, and Ross throws them out.)
Monica: Ok, here we go. We need to sort out the tickets as quickly as possible to see if we've won. So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this? (doesn't let them answer) Ok, how about this: we divide them into 6 groups of 40, and the remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes their pile first.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
Rachel: So Pheebs, pick one of them.
Monica: Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays!
(Joey walks up to them.)
(Ross opens the door and steps into the living room. He has fully removed his pants and holds them wrapped into a ball in front of his crotch. His legs are covered in the powder and lotion paste. He looks terrible.)
Rachel: Hello? Oh, Pheebs! (To them) Its Phoebe!
Chandler: Look, forget it. We tried, but Phase Three is a lost cause, Okay? Those strippers were insanely hot, and I couldnt picture myself with any of them. (Sits back in disgust.)
Ross: You tell them to wait!
Rachel: Yeah, and yknow what? I love them both, so why dont you just pick one and thatll be it.
It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see One of them wont do it, but the second one will set you free Tell all your hate and anger, its time to say good-bye And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I work for die! La, la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Ross: ....right? Right? I mean its pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I dont, I dont need them, huh, Ive got you guys now as friends, you and Susan.
Rachel: Dont worry, were just gonna search here for an hour, them were gonna go over to Joeys and search, OK?
PHOEBE: Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Phoebe: But umm, I mean, did you talk to them about, y'know
[Rachel holds the tray between them. Chandler grabs the muffin before Monica can.]
Phoebe: Ugh, what's right with them?
Chandler: Well, you couldnt get them anyway. Ian doesnt plan anymore and Derrick (Off of Rachel and Monicas looks) And Derrick is a name I shouldnt know.
Chandler: All right, let's show them how it's done.
{Transcriber's Note: Rachel has two friends that are not named, so I referred to them as Friend No. 1 and Friend No. 2.}
Monica: Yeah. (She takes them off.)
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
Ross: No, its my joke, its mine. You can call them, theyll tell you.
Rachel: Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are things to think about.
Rachel: Return them?! Shh! Theyre gonna hear you!
Rachel: Yes! Great! Give me those cigs! Give it! Give it! (She grabs their cigarettes and lighters and throws them in the trash.)
Phoebe: I dontshe said yknow that Id have triplets! But she also said one of them would be black.
Ross: Well, so, you-youll get a job here! I mean, Im always hearing about uh, them foreigners coming in here and stealing American jobs; that could be you!
[We see the rest of them are now crying.]
Joey: They're so small! (Both he and Ross look at them with satisfied looks on their faces.)
ERICA: No, seriously. These hands. These miracle, magical, life-giving hands. Oh, just to be near them, touch them, maybe even lick one?
(Monica enters behind them.)
Phoebe: Ok. Quick. We gotta find a cab and follow them.
Phoebe: No! Seven rats! I think we should take them home, we need feed them.
Danny: (To them) Hey!
Ross: Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.