words in movies
Gene: It's heavier then milk!
Roy: Ok, ok, ladies! Can I have your attention, please? (pause) Did someone call for the long arm of the law? (He extends his arm from around his crotch and then upward and outward, towards Phoebe) I should warn you, I have a concealed weapon! (Puts his hands over his crotch) I hope you're familiar with the States penal code, ok, ok, enough teasing. Now for some pleasing!
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Joey: Oh, then pass. (Next word: "Joint session", but time's up, Joey acts very disappointed)
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
(Roy then sits on Phoebe's lap, looking exhausted)
Ross: Okay, after you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in peoples coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, you know. But it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but... it was amazing. And now, now I find out that you kissed her first.
Chandler: Why would I kiss a girl, and then put her on your bed?
Ross: Well, then who was on my bed?
(Monica is dancing. At first she seems insecure and moves slowly, but then gets into the groove and swings her hips from side to side while holding her hands up. She then eats the last piece of pizza she was holding and again moves her hips from side to side, pushing her hands in the air in beat with the music. Her moves get more wildly while she's snapping her fingers. She loses balance and falls back onto a pink bean bag.)
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
ROSS: Oh right, right.� (They pause and exchange a glance. Then, Ross looks away.)� So, are you . . . ah . . . you excited about your, your first night away from Emma?
Ross: Yes. I lived with you guys for a while and then I found this place. (Joey just stares at him) I'm Ross.
C.H.E.E.S.E: Oh yeah? Well then how come I cant get my VCR to stop blinking 12:00?
LITTLE BULLY: Well then here's the deal, you won't have to so long as never ever show your faces in this coffee house ever again.
Rachel: I dont care about the little dude! I cant! I cannot listen to anymore of this! Yknow, the only person who would want to listen to this is a mental health professional! And then its only because they get paid $100 an hour! Do you know how much money I couldve made listening to you? $2,000! And do you know when I figured that out? While you were talking!
Joey: You bet I do! I just ah, wasnt listening then, thats all.
PHOEBE: I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.'
Monica: Then why would he say it?
Joey: Yeah! Well, I think well see if they actually let you play. Huh? I mean they tell you anything you want to hear like-like, "You look 19," and then they just take it away like-like, "No you dont."
Alice: Oh no-no, never say that. If we cant get it out then we can cut around the stain, add a little lace, you make a stylish throw.
Chandler: so then the farmer says, "Thats not a cow and youre not milking it." (Everyone laughs.)
Ross: So, then you can stay as long as you want.
Chandler: (To Joey) We didnt get to the audition. Im gonna take her to coffee and then well do it then.
Chandler: (pause) No, were still together. Yeah we went out for two summers, and then I broke up with her.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, Joey is there, trying to convince Monica to pose as his girlfriend. His plan is to hook Monica up with Angela's boyfriend Bob and then take Angela back for himself.]
JOEY: When I was little, I wanted to be a veteranarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.
Dr. Miller: Okay then, I guess we'll see you back here in three months.
Rachel: Well, then talk!
(In slow motion we see Phoebe look at Marcel, then at Luisa. She jumps toward Marcel just as Luisa fires the gun.)
MONICA: Ok, then just go.
Mike: (looks at her astonished) Alright, then I'm gonna change my name.
Joey: Okay, here's my big scene. My big scene's here! (They have two of the cops on the street, then they cut to where they're entering an apartment.) Oh my God.
Phoebe: Oh, I know. I could only think of two names, him and Ed Begley Jr. and then I remembered hes gay.
Chandler: So apparently we just dont pay for food anymore. (Rachel laughs then Chandler notices something.) Do you see what I see?
Phoebe: Oh, I believe it. I think the baby can totally hear everything. I can show you. Look, this will seem a little weird, but you put your head inside this turkey, and then we'll all talk, and you'll hear everything we say.
Dr. Green: This is nice. I pay two hundred dollars for dinner, you put down twenty, and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot. You really want to be Mr. Big Shot? Here, Ill tell you what, you pay the whole bill, Mr. Big Shot, all right. (rips up the bill, and throws it at Ross, then leaves)
<they hug and Rachel has this disgusted look on her face and then Emma starts crying>
Chandler: Well, maybe I won't kiss you, and then you'll have to stay.
(Rachel looks at it and then throws it away. She then removes a fourth one, revealing a third hole.)
RACH: I didn't know then. And how come you never said anything to me.
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
Monica: Absolutely! (He goes to kiss her, but she stops him and rubs his head and says...) Now get out of here you!! (Pete leaves) (to the gang) Okay, Im running out of places I can touch him! Look, is there something wrong with me? I mean why am I only attracted to guys where theres no future? Either theyre too old, or theyre too young, and then theres Pete whos-whos crazy about me, and whos absolutely perfect for me, and theres like zip going on! I mean, seriously, does it sound like somethings wrong with me?!
Joey: Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.)
PHOEBE: Yeah, it's just so strange. I mean, she probably woke up today and thought, "ok, I'll have some breakfast, and then I'll take a little walk, and then I'll have my massage." Little did she know God was thinking, "Ok, but that's it." Oh, but the weirdest thing was, ok, I was cleansing her aura when she died, and when the spirit left her body, I don't think it went very far.
Ross: Its just, my part seemed to be over pretty quickly and then, and then there was a lot of waiting around.
Ross: well then I didn't need to bother you or the four other Mike Hanagens I bothered.
Monica:: Here why don't you sit down, get yourself comfortable because I. (Monica shows him the tape then puts it in) have a little surprise for you.
Rachel: No because first they arrest the guy and then they try him.
Chandler: Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite...
Joey: Well then help me get it off! Plus, it smells really bad in here.
<They go back to fighting and then it really gets on>
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Yknow, for you, and (Clears his throat) I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. (Points up and then over to the street)
Phoebe: Yeah, right! See, he gave up something, but then he got those magic beans. And then he woke up, and there was this, this big plant outside his window, full of possibilities and stuff.. And he lived in a village, and you live in the Village..
Chandler: Then why didnt you tell me to do that?!!
Joey: I dont get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didnt take it, and I didnt take it; and you (Chandler) didnt take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! Were trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesnt get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)
Monica: Right. Till I bought a blow dryer, then I was shunned.
Phoebe: Okay then.
Chandler: Well, then, I might as well offer to stay.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, first there was my aunt Mary, and then there was umm, John, my mailman, and then my, my cowboy friend Albino Bob.
MONICA: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.
Ross: All right then. (Follows her in and checks the place out.)
(Phoebe then gets possessed 'cause she starts speaking in tongues. She speaks Italian to Joey's grandmother. She is quickly exorcised and returns to speaking in English. Of course, too most people English is a strange language as well. But none of them are probably reading this and if they were they wouldn't understand it. So why am I talking about them? I have absolutely no clue. Moving on )
ROSS: [comes out of the bedroom] Rachel. [growls then sees Richard standing there] Hey.
Chandler: Well, that's what we do. Y'know, I-I mess up and then you tell me how to fix it and then I do and then y'know you think I'm all cute again.
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, hi Wendy! (Listens) Yeah, eight o'clock. (Listens) What did we say? Ten dollars an hour?... (Listens) OK, great. (Listens) All right, I'll see you then. Bye. (hangs up)
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.
PHOEBE: OK. Ooh, OK, you gotta give me a second, I wanna get this just right. [she sticks out her gut, clears her throat and sniffs her nose and then in her best male voice. . .] Dude, 11 o'clock, totally hot babe checkin' you out. That was really good, I think I'm ready for my penis now.
Monica: So then you know? (Phoebe nods her head)
Ross: Okay, it must just be me then.
Phoebe: Then don't touch one!!
Ross: If it does? Then you're an amazing friend of mine.
Phoebe: Then do Iceberg!
Rachel: Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.
Joey: Well, then it wouldn't be a secret. So yeah, that would be okay. Yeah. Yeah!
Phoebe: Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, youre just mean! (pause) So, just tell me the truth!
Chandler: Well, were really not that close. (Pause) Okay, so I guess this is uh, good-bye then.
Phoebe: Okay, then what happened?
Rachel: Yes, you didOh my God you didnt! (Screams) Well then why didnt you tell me that before?!
Joey: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, (Joey from TV) you know that's bad for the paper tray.
Rachel: OK, alright, OK, um... then could you please, uh... just give him a message for me? Please? This is very important.
Chandler: You know what's not funny? Male Pattern Baldness (Monica stretches her neck to look behind Zack's head and then gives Chandler an "ok" sign)
Chandler: All right, then massage me up right nice!
Rachel: All right, then you owe me $350.
ROSS: And, uh, and then I kissed her.
(She holds his hand for a little while then )
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, the odds are against us, but somebody has to win, and it could be us! And then how you gonna feel? You know, we're gonna be all like "oh everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the cape" and you're gonna be all like "oh, I can't guys, I'll meet you guys up there, I gotta gas up the Hyundai"
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
Charlie: Well, if it's like the lake Mbosco in Congo, then M-B-O...
Joey: Fine. (looks around, then focuses on Monica)
Phoebe: Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.
Rachel: Oh, great! Well, then I'm gonna take Emma to see him. I wonder why Ross said that he died.
Lauren: Oh but then, they went and dropped you down that elevator shaft.
Phoebe: (no accent) Uhm... Okay, well, allright, uhm... Originally I'm from upstate, but uhm... then my mom killed herself and my stepdad went to prison, so... I just moved to the city where uhm... I actually lived in a burned out Buick LeSabre for a while... (frowns are received) which was okay, that was okay, until uhm... I got hepatitis, you know, 'cause this pimp spit in my mouth and... but I... I got over it and uhm... anyway, now I'm uhm... a freelance massage therapist, uhm... which, you know, isn't always steady money but at least I don't pay taxes, huh... (everyone in the room finds it a bit surreal, which Phoebe realises and starts to talk in the accent again) So... where does everyone summer?
Phoebe: Okay, alright, you buy me a soda, and then we're even. Okay?
Rachel: Oh, and then, we got into this big, stupid fight. I just, it was awful. I told him he treats me like a park ranger, or something, oh and then I told him I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
Jill: And yknow what I said to him? "Im gonna hire a lawyer and Im gonna sue you and take all your money. Then Im gonna cut you off!"
Monica: Okay, Ill rest. But yknow if Im going to bed, then youre coming with me.
Joey: Oh Monica. (goes over and hugs her, then looks at the form and stops hugging her.) Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, (sees Monica) for like a day. (hugs her again).
(Joey throws open his door and stands there still in the Superman costume then slowly makes his way to the bathroom while keeping both eyes on the cage.)
(they start to get ready, but then Phoebe enters through the door from Ross's room)
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
Monica: You would not believe my day! I had to work two shifts, and then to top it off, I lost one of my fake boobs, (opens her coat revealing a large burn mark over her left breast.) in a grill fire.
[Cut to another part of the building. We see Marcel jump in through a window and run down some stairs, then Chandler and Joey come down from the upper floor without noticing.]
Ross: The ride broke down. So, Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical Dutch children... then they fixed the ride, and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom.
Chandler: Did you tell her what we talked about? (Joey starts laughing hysterically, but then gets serious again...)
(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)
Chandler: And then he did.