words in movies
OPENING TITLES [Scene: Monica and Rachels apartment. The whole gang is there.]
PHOEBE: Oh, I don't know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace.
PHOEBE: Yeah, is there a hair on it?
ROSS: You know, you are so amazing, is there anything you, you don't know?
[Scene: Central Perk close to closing. Ross and Julie are still there. Rachel is cleaning tables.]
RACHEL: Let me tell you something. As a woman there is nothing sexier than a man who does not want to have sex.
JULIE: So is there like a story or do they just stard doing it right. . . oh, never mind.
JOEY: Thank you. Wait wait wait wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blockin' me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am. . .
DUNCAN: Well, I've never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college, when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I told myself it was the liquor and e-everyone experiments in college.
MONICA: You know, it still smells like monkey in there.
Monica: I mean theyre trying to do everything they can to make me quit, and if there were any other job, I would. But this is something Ive been waiting for my whole life.
PHOEBE: Ok, there is no top. That's the beauty of Smelly Cat. Um, why don't you just follow me?
Joey: There was a ring, in a box, on my nightstand, after you left, it was gone!
Ross: Yup! You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus, no compass, and I can find my way out of there like that! (snaps fingers)
Ross: Theres no or in mind. What is wrong with these pants?!!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are there.]
[Scene: The Launderama, Rachel is there, waiting for Ross. An old woman takes Rachel's clothes off the machine and begins loading it with her things.]
Monica: He had to go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard.
Pete: Theres one thing missing.
Emily: Thats just halftime, theres more of this.
Ross: No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know, absolutely not. I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is! (pauses) Or isn't...
Chandler: Yeah! Anderson just scored again! (To Phoebe) Theres no Anderson.
Rachel: Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! (Pause) That isthats greatthat is really great-great news. (Pause) Yknow cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. (Starts to cry.) God.
Mr. Geller: There was also leaves and guk and stuff.
Ross: So uh, have a great time down there.
Chandler: Yeah, I believe I was talking to Joey, alright there, Mother-Kisser? (Goes to the counter)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
Monica: Ill meet you there in two minutes.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there. He takes off his glasses and starts chewing on the ear piece.]
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
Ross: Okay, Im sorry, this is insane! I-I-Im not addicted to heroin, Im not gay, and there is no problem with my ability to consummate anything! Look, Ill consummate this marriage right here, right now!
Mrs. Waltham: Oh yes, there you are.
Joey: I mean, the giant is like five years younger than me, yknow, you think Ill ever get there?
Rachel: Um-hmm. (Joshua turns to look in the mirror and leaves Rachel staring at his ass.) There we go. There it is.
Phoebe: Yay! Its so exciting! Wow, you couldve done that with us there.
Receptionist: (on phone) Hold on. (To Chandler) Fill these out, sit over there. (Tosses him some forms.)
Joey: (seeing what theyre doing) What do you got there?
Ross: (knocks on door) Rach, you there? (Joey and Rachel both get up from the bed)
Ross: I'm really gonna miss this apartment. Y'know, Ben-Ben took his first steps right over there. (Points.)
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Rachel: Yeah, come on! Whats going in on in there? (Pats his chest.)
Chandler: Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I know what to do with a woman, yknow, I know where everything goes, its always nice. But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, "My God! Somebodys killing her in there!"
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Ross: Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!'
[Cut to Joey's room, his doctor and Ross are there.]
David: The good thing about the young kids though, theyre completely unpredictable. Which is a lot of fun as an actor to respond with. But there was one story
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there.]
David: Sorry, I just... I wish there was something I could do, you know? Well, you know Phoebe...
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel are there, as Phoebe enters with her date.]
Chandler: Hey, there he is! There he is!
Monica: I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
(Theres a knock on the door and Janice enters.)
Ross: Its just, my part seemed to be over pretty quickly and then, and then there was a lot of waiting around.
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay! Okay, cause when-when he said, "I cant wait to hear your first words," I thought, "Theres a trick."
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are all there, discussing their bad luck with men.]
Ross: Come on, there are plenty of other women out thereok? Just - just forget about her, ok? Just, she's off limits.
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldnt. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler.
Rachel: (noticing a bunch of pictures around the door that werent there originally.) What-what are-what are these?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters.]
Rachel: Yeah, it's in there. (Points to the bathroom.)
Tag: Well, its not out here. Is there any chance it could be in your office?
Chandler: Come on! I was there! (He's propped up with his hand on a statute of a naked guy. He winces and pulls his hand away.) I know he's the love of your life.
Rachel: No, its all right. I got nice boobs. (Phoebe and Monica nod there heads in agreement.)
Chandler: If can invade Poland, there isn't anything I can't do.
Phoebe: Come on, theres gotta be something.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Ross: Well isnt there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, cant-cant you pick up, I dont know, an extra shift here?
Monica: Honey, as we get closer to the wedding, is there anything that you would like to talk about or share?
Emily: She's there?!
Joey: Heyooh Pheebs, are they in there?
Chandler: Well maybe there is one thing you can do.
Phoebe: (starts to walk away, but stops) Dont try to call him or anything, 'cause he's not there, he's out. His umm, his partner just died.
Monica: What-what's the matter? Is there, is there something on my dress? (She turns around making sure he gets a good look.)
Joey: Uh, wow, you just said a bunch of stuff I didnt know there.
Ross: (blows her a kiss) Okay the sleeping thing. Very tricky business, but there is something you can do.
Joey: Rachel, there you are! Come on, lets serve that dessert already!
Janice: All right. Well, there you go. (she gets extremely wound up, and begins to try and calm herself down) Stop it, stop it, stop it.
Rachel: Ball? There is no ball.
Dr. Harad: All right, you're getting there. Oh, and y'know, these babies are very, very lucky.
Chandler: There we go!
RACH: Hey, there was one Italian guy, OK, and do you even have a point?
[Scene: The waiting room, Monica and Joey are sitting there.]
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, first there was my aunt Mary, and then there was umm, John, my mailman, and then my, my cowboy friend Albino Bob.
[Scene: The hallway after the party. Rachel is sitting there.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, there is a knock on the door and Ross opens it to Cassie.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is there, Joey enters.]
Kyle: we talked through most of the night and we realized that the reason we were so angry at each other was because there are still feelings there. So (Pause)
Rachel: (closing the door) Ross said theres still no word from Chandler.
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
Joey: Excellent, I'll be there.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Ross: (screaming) Everybody put their balloons down!!! (There is a temporary cease fire.) Now this is a nice suit!! (Shows everyone where he was hit.)
[Joey's place. He's watching Baywatch, lauging. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to.]
Rachel: (laughs) Oh my God. Can you imagine if there was?! I mean, (getting serious) what would happen exactly.
Monica: I thought there wasn't a ball?
(Phoebe buttons her lip, while the rest of the gang pretend theyre not there.)
ROSS: [comes out of the bedroom] Rachel. [growls then sees Richard standing there] Hey.
Ross: Oh, yeah, that’s the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings!
[Scene: Central Perk, the gangs all there discussing the incident.]
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)