words in movies
Ross: (on phone) No-no-no, thats great! Ill be there Monday. And thank you again! (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up) (To All) Umm, that was the head of the Paleontology department at N uh, Y, uh U!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are all there as Phoebe enters dejectedly.]
Phoebe: No, cause she didnt tell me I was gonna die until the very end of the session, and I was not gonna waste a whole another hour there! I mean Ive only got a week left, yknow? Ive really gotta start living now! (So she picks up the latest copy of Car and Driver (a U.S. auto magazine), leans back, and starts reading.)
Ross: (he starts reading directly from his cards word for word very quietly) "There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two distinct "
Joey: (interrupting him) Uh Ross! Are there uh, are there naked chicks on that piece of paper?
Ross: Ohh! Okay! Okay. (Resumes reading word for word from the card) "There are three (pauses and looks at Joey) primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. (Pauses and darts his eyes between Chandler and Rachel.) (Rachel starts laughing) Each of these theories (glances at Phoebe) can be further subcategorized (glances at Chandler) into "
Chandler: Im sorry man, theres never a good time to (pauses) stop catching on fire.
[Scene: Estelle Leonard Theatrical Agency, Joey is there to see his agent.]
Estelle: Well, I think uhh, someone out there may have been bad mouthing you all over town.
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, Rachel and Monica are arriving to talk to Ross after the lecture, but are there early.]
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
Ross: Look, I was nervous! You guys had me all worried I was going to be boring! I got up there and they were all like staring at me. I opened my mouth and this British accent just came out.
Russell: (Rosss divorce lawyer.) Hello, is Ross there?
Ross: (in his head) All right, keep going. We are phasing the accent out, phasing it out. So without out re-testing the results in the laboratory (pronounced the British way) the team would never have identified (British) the initial errors in their carbon dating analysis (British). Were there any questions at this point? (One student raises his hand.) Yes. (Points to him.)
Ross: (British) Come again? Whats-whats this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, Im-Im not English. Im from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. Im sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because Im-Im hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression
Frannie: Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey returns from his audition and finds everyone but Phoebe there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there.]
Monica: Yeah, there you go!
Phoebe: Most likely. (raises and goes toward the door) Okay, I'm gonna be out there.
Chandler: Why do they put so much steam in there?!
Rachel: Do you want me to come over there and sit on you? Cause Ill do it.
Phoebe: Well at least all my songs don't taste like garlic. Yeah, there are other ingredients Monica.
Joey: Isn't there any way you can keep him?
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
Dana: Im sorry Chandler, yknow you are such a sweet guy and I, I dont want to hurt you. Oh, I wish there was something I can do to make you feel better.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Ross has an icepack to his head.]
Joey: They did it right there on the couch.
Erica: Well, if there is anything else you wanna know... (Monica and Chandler look at each other)
Ross: So Pheebs, are you gonna go back out there or what?
Chandler: What? There was ice there that night with Carol? Plastic seats? Four thousand angry Pittsburgh fans?
Joey: Thata girl! Huh? We should get out of here; theres a new class comin in.
Monica: (looking out of the window) Oh my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There's some creep out there with a telescope!
PHOEBE: Yeah, yeah, no it's OK 'cause, I mean, I know he's there, so, that's enough for now.
Ross: ...How long was I in there?
[Scene: the hotel game room. There is a ping pong table in the middle of the room. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in]
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it.)
Phoebe: Thats right, there you go! Crushes happen all the time! I know Ive had them for all you guys. Well, except for Ross and Chandler. And Im sure youve had them for us.
Monica: Okay. (They both jump up to head for there room, but Monica stops.) But wait, we cant. My Cousin Cassie is in the guest room, were supposed to have lunch.
Woman: Hey, hey, hey there aren't any clothes in it.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
Chandler: (finds his money) Ahh-hahaha! (Turns around to give the Maitre d' his money, but he isn't there anymore)
Ross: Um, in Phoebe's room. You can't go in there.
Joey: Me too! Theres a game on Tuesday do you wanna go?
Monica: Is there? Is there someone else?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there, Phoebe is entering with her date Robert.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
Chandler: (to Joey) My lighters in there! (points to the cab)
Monica: Oh my God! Thats my restaurant, Im the chef there.
Monica: How are we gonna do that? Theres no way.
Chandler: Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? (Holds up 3 of them in different colors.)
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is all there.]
Passenger #1: We're all getting off. There is no Philange!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Chandler enters.]
Ross: (loudly) Why?! Are there like bears or something?! (Looks around and then sees that Elizabeth is shaking her head no and realizes what Elizabeth meant.) Ohh. Oh, protection. Yeah-no, yeah-no, that-that-that I forgot.
Phoebe: Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them.
Chandler: Wish I could switch with someone. I really don't wanna sit with Allen Iverson over there.
ROSS: Well, there you go.
Joey: A little more, a little more. (she stuffs some more down his pants and Joey's assesses the how many there already are in there.) A little more... All right. Okay, all right, let's do this.
All: Oh, sure. Sure, absolutely. (They just stand there, then realise what he means and go to the other end of the room)
MONICA: [She grabs the coffee cup on the table and licks the rim.] There you go, enjoy your coffee.
PHOEBE: You're there!
Ross: What do you mean? Nothing happened! I had to get out of there.
Joey: No-no, stay right there. (Monica stops and Joey flips her a pancake, which flies over her head and lands in the living room.) Gettin closer.
Monica: And everybody has to wear costumes. (And theres general disconcertment.) Come on! Itll be fun!
Dina: Im going to keep dating him Mother, and theres nothing you can do about it!
Ross: Hi. Sorry we're late but we werewell, there was touching.
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
Phoebe: See, there you go, the cleansing works!
Joey: (voice-over) Oh-oh! And then Rosss new girlfriend, Bonnie, shows up and Rachel convinced her to save her head. And then Ross and Rachel kiss, and now Ross has to choose between Rachel and the bald girl and I dont know what happened there either...
[Scene: At the counter. Ross is sitting there, drinking. Phoebe approaches him.]
[Cut to Chandler opening the door to his and Joeys apartment to reveal Monica standing there with a turkey on her head in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Mike: There is a revolutionary new product that guarantees that you'll never have to open up milk cartons again. Meet the Milk Master 2000.
Ross: Nothing! Theres nothing to do! I mean, she lives there, I live here. I mean, she-shed have to uh, move here. She should move here!
[Scene: Dr. Burke's office. Monica is there for her eye appointment.]
Chandler and Joey: Yeah! Why dont you stick around. You can sit right there.
RACHEL: Hey Phoebs, whatcha got there?
MR. GELLER: You know, that Steffi Graf has quite a tush. I'm just saying, it's right there.
(The rest of the crew start to drive away leaving Joey sad, alone, and holding his congratulatory balloons as the song comes up again. La-la-la. See, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain! In the desert you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La-la-la, la, la, la )
CHANDLER: Spanish midgets. Spanish midgets wrestling. Julie. Ok, yes, I see how you got there. (phone rings)
Alice: So umm, you feel like taking a test? Theres only one question.
Chandler: Be right there sweetums. (Monica leaves. To Joey.) A totally different situation.
Chandler: Okay, well we'll go back in there, but will you do one thing for us? The people that care about you?
Joey: I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! Its been a long time since I had (tries to do the math in his head, but cant) 327 + 238 dollars!"
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel and Fake Monica are there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is returning from shopping and Rachel is there.]
Rachel: I just never had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know, where you have to have somebody right there, in the middle of a theme park.
Lydia: There is no father.
Charlie: (smiling and thinks for a moment)... no... bu but there was my first boyfriend Billy.
Joey: Alright, well the rest of you get comfortable, ok, because we're gonna be here for a li...(stops and thinks) Wait a minute, there is a window in there!
Rachel: Oh oh oh, wait! You only got whipped cream in there! Ya gotta take a bite with all the layers!
Mike: Uhm, did you guys know that there is a giant ice sculpture in the hall?
Ross: Y'know, we work in a museum of natural history, and yet there is something unnatural about the way we eat lunch. Now, I look around this cafeteria, and yknow what I see, I see-I see division. Division, between people in white coats and people in blue blazers, and I ask myself, "My God why?!" Now, I say we shed these-these coats that separate us, and we get to know the people underneath. (He takes off his coat and throws it down.) Im Ross! Im divorced, and I have a kid!
Rachel: Yeah but yknow what they say Mon, "Theres no such thing as bad press."
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Joey enters.]
Ross: Phoebe, there is no secret. Okay? I didnt propose.
SUSAN: Yeah, a woman I went to college with just became the first female blacksmith down there.
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
GUNTHER: There you go.
Joey: Power saw kinda got away from me there.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, All are there except for Chandler.]
Ross: Yeah, but it didnt fit. Well, luckily theres a store here that has one left in her size, but Im the groom, Im not supposed to see the dress
Roger: You're so funny! He's really funny! I wouldn't wanna be there when when the laughter stops.
Laura: Is he alright out there by himself?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
CHAN: What are you doing out there?
(The door opens, and there is Gladys, still in her frame though. Joey panics and moves frantically, screaming. Then there is laughing, and the painting is lowered. It was Rachel holding Gladys.)
Ross: Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh (Grabs a cookie and takes a big bite out of it and doesnt like it.) Its batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! (Gets up and runs for the bathroom.)
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
Chandler: No! No-no-no-no-no-no. It sounds like they really need you down there.
Ross: Sorry! Sorry! Oh, (He sticks it under his shirt) there! (It's just there flashing through his shirt) Hey Gary, who am I? Phone home!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is entering without touching anything with his hands. Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Phoebe: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
Joey: Oh sure, right back there. (Points.)