words in movies
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Chandler: Well uh, Archie needs money to fix his jalopy (Joey laughs), uh but he doesnt want Reggie to just give him the money. So Reggie hires him as his assistas his butler. And then makes him do all these crazy things like bring him milkshakes that cant have lumps in them.
Rachel: Who are these men?
Ross: Yeah, she never misses these conferences! (then to Charlie) No, I just saw Dr. Kenneth Schwartz!
Rachel: Hmm, mild discomfort. So I take it youve had one of these Braxton thingies?
CHANDLER: Yeah alright. What're these, raisins?
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
Agency guy: So, these are the preliminary forms for an open adoption. There's a lot to go over, but I'll explain everything as we go through it.
Joey: Ross, did you really read all these baby books?
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God, look at these pelts!
Phoebe: Yeah, 'cause hello, these are not her boobies, these are her breasts.
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Chandler: He was asking all these questions about you, me, and London. And, of course the glue that holds this all together, the rules.
Phoebe: (looks at the paper) Are these for rent! I thought people were just bragging!
GUNTHER: Fellas, these guys were here first.
RACHEL: Yeah, these are pretty ch-ching.
Monica: How hammered are you? Huh? These, these are Joeys sisters.
MNCA: Ok, this is pumpkin pie with mockolate cookie crumb crust. This is mockolate cranberry cake, and these are mockolate chip cookies. Just like the Indians served.
Joey: It's okay, these things happen.
Phoebe: Y'know, for once, I am going to sit down and try to watch one of these things. (just as she sits down).
Phoebe: Oh, yeah! You like em? I just, I went to a used clothes store and got a bunch of maternity stuff. These are sooo comfortable!
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
Rachel: Uhm... you haven't told these guys what they're doing in the wedding yet.
EDDIE: Hey man, check it out, I got some great stuff to dehydrate here. I got some grapes, got some apricots, I thought it would be really cool to see what happens with these water balloons.
Ross: Years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees...
Monica: Not at these prices.
RACHEL: These are from Halloween three years ago.
Monica: These arent for you! Are you upset?
Phoebe: Yeah, but yknow, about have of these are gonna end up getting divorced.
The Grip: These got left for ya. (He hands him a bunch of helium balloons.)
Joey: These little women. Wow!
Monica: They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...
Rachel: Monica, where did you get these?!
Mrs. Geller: Oh no, dont be silly. I just bet Id need these. (Opens the freezer to reveal )
Mr. Geller: ...And I read about these women trying to have it all, and I thank God 'Our Little Harmonica' doesn't seem to have that problem.
Gunther: Hey! Take these cappuccinos to table 11 and that guy over there (points) wants the biscotti.
Phoebe: My guy is a lawyer who has volunteer work. And, he has one of these (She squeezes the skin on her chin together to form )
Phoebe: I know, I know, we can drive, we can vote, we can work, what more do these broads want?
Ross: Well, I just made these two things uhm... cheeks. And then I split this to make ears.
Chandler: We are supposed to make these decisions together! Did you not watch the Doctor Phil I taped for you?
Amy: Its such a slap in the face. I'm your sister and you would give your baby to these strangers over me.
Ross: Well hey, who did these resumes for ya?
Tour Guide: Im Rhonda, (motions to her breasts) and these arent real! (Joey and Ross look at each other, shocked)
Rachel: The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me, too. But then, yknow, I thought well, theres mincemeat pie, I mean thats an English dessert, these people just put very strange things in their food, yknow. [To Joey] Oh! by the way, can I borrow some Rum from your place?
Rachel: All right, okay. Alright, let's give to these babies something to cry about!
MR. GELLER: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . .
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
Mrs. Bing: Car's waiting downstairs, I just wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends. Anything you want from Lisbon?
Rachel: I dont know. I dont know how I feel. This is all happening so fast. I have to make all these decisions that I dont want to make. (Takes another sip of champagne and spits it back out) Somebody just take this away from me!!
RACHEL: Ooh, goooosh, ooh, these are cookies smashed in the sports section.
Monica: Ooh, these tennis shoes are so tight. I think Ill take them off. (Goes to do so.)
Chandler: Are you serious?! I mean like eloping?! No more stupid wedding stuff?! No more these flowers or these flowers or these flowersThink of the money well save!! (Monica just looks at him.) Were not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger please?
Rachel: Oh yeah, nothing! These are happy tears! This is just what I wanted.
Danny: Yep. (To Rachel) I'm gonna wear these on our date tonight.
MNCA: [holding bottles] Does anybody want these?
Mike: Ok, fine, these rats are our responsibility. What happens when they mate and there are hundreds of them?
Ross: I dont know what to say, Im sorry. Though, youre not supposed to take these. (Points to the bone) Its like a million years old, we, we actually, we had people looking for that.
Phoebe: These old things.
Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...
Monica: I know! Phoebe is gonna love dressing them in these!
Chandler: Yeah, I've been to these places before, but I've never really seen them, you know.
Ross: Marsha, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like 'Gee, that glacier's getting kinda close.' See?
Ross: (speaking with his mouth full) Yeah, I mean, all things that guy... (looks at the cookie) These are amazing!
MRS BUFFAY: What are these, stitches?
Rachel: All right, well, you're right, these are the best oatmeal cookies I've ever had.
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back)
Joey: Wouldn't you pay good money to see these identical hands showcased in some type of a uh, entertainment venue?
Phoebe: But ifno look, okay. These jerks might not care about you, but the universe does! And that says a lot!
Monica: Oh, well... um, that's all there are of these. But in about eight and a half minutes, we'll be serving some delicious onion tartlets.
Chandler: Yes, but these women are very hot, and they need our help! And they're very hot.
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
Joey: Oh my God! How many of these things did you have? These are pure vodka.
Ross: Ohh, these are pretty good.
PHOEBE: I sense these things. It was either but or butter.
Frank Jr.: Yeah, I really cherish these moments, 'cause before you know it, they're gonna be awake again.
Ross: Look, look, theres got to be a way we can work past this. Okay, (takes a hold of one of her arms.) I cant imagine, I cant imagine my life without you. (Both of them are starting to cry.) Without, without these arms, and your face, and this heart. Your good heart Rach, (drops to his knees and hugs her around her waist) and, and....
Rachel: Well, these aren't mine. Maybe Monica used to use them with...
Ross: ...and these come in the shapes of your favourite Christmas characters, Santa, Rudolph, and Baby Jesus.
ROSS: Hey, let's bring the rest of these down to the truck.
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
CHANDLER: Alright, I hope you realize you're not getting these underpants back.
Rachel: And all these people actually died?
Chandler: But Ill tell you something. One of these days were get off of our buts and rent Die Hard again!
Rachel: Do you guys want these?
Mona: Umm, I-I thought we were moving forward and now youre-youre sending me all these mixed signals. What are you trying to tell me?
CHAN: [squirming] All right, let's get some perspective here, ok? These things, they happen for a reason.
Rachel: (refers to the table) What are these?
Ross: (looking his elbow, where there's a patch) These aren't suede.
JOEY: What are these, like famous chickens?
Ross: (he starts reading directly from his cards word for word very quietly) "There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two distinct "
Rachel: No? Yknow, I can tie one of these into a knot using just my tongue.
Emily: No, no, no Ross! Ross, these are friends of mine from home. (Introducing them) Liam, Devon, this is Ross.
Ross: Theres no or in mind. What is wrong with these pants?!!
The Salesman: (laughs) You need these books.
MNCA: Now, in some of these recipes, the quantities may seem just a little unusual, uh, like these coconut mockolate holiday nut bars. I've indicated four cups of coconut, and four cups of crushed nut, and only, uh, one tablespoon of mockolate.
Phoebe: To see if know what these guys are talking about.
Joey: Oh, its this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. Its really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.
Ross: (squatting and reading the instructions) I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.
Receptionist: (on phone) Hold on. (To Chandler) Fill these out, sit over there. (Tosses him some forms.)
Rachel: I know... Honey, seriously, I did it all. The luggage that I'm taking is in the bedroom, this is Emma's Paris stuff, these are the boxes that I'm having shipped, and that's the sandwich that I made for the plane...
Monica: I know that switch does something, okay? So-so I went down to city hall and got these. All I had to do was pay $25 and wait in line for three hours.