words in movies
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
[Time lapse, they're both entering.]
(He searches to his right; she searches to her left. They're both on their hands and knees when they spot the die. It's propped up against the table leg, and it's not lying flat. Both the four and the five are showing.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's room, they've pretty much consumed the entire mini-bar. Needless to say, they're feeling no pain and are still playing blackjack.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck as The King's (Elvis Presley to the yougin's) Viva, Las Vegas begins to play. Sing along with me now, "Viva! Las Vegas! Vivaaaaaa! Vivaaaaa! Las Vegassssss!!" Fade to Black.)
Carol: But they're not here yet!
Lydia: Yeah, they're not so bad.
Joey: Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they?
Rachel: Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.
Chandler: People do stupid things when they're upset.
Frank Jr.: Oh, I think you're right. Oh, wow. Phoebe, I don't think I can give one of them up. I mean, you know, they drive me crazy, but they're my babies.
Ross: Come on, they're gonna love you.
Mr Zelner: Yeah, they're all he talks about, why?
CHAN: Oh, I know. This must be so hard. Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous and sexy. My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight.
Chandler: Um, ok... the... the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?
PHOEBE: [singing] Sometimes men love women, sometimes men love men, and then there are bisexuals, though some just say they're kidding themselves. la la-la-la la-la-la-la-la-la-la...
CHANDLER: The one time they're not home.
Monica: Where is everybody? They're forty-five minutes late!
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
Monica: (to the guys) Not the way they're doing it. What, what happened? How did she die?
MONICA: No really, they're OK.
(Just as they're about to leave, Gunther comes out of the back carrying two garbage bags. Larry sees this and stops him.)
Chandler: They're not even paying ya! This doesn't even sound like a real movie!
RACHEL: Oh they're in the top drawer. Hurry.
Monica: You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?
Monica: Oh, they're brochures from different adoption agencies.
Ross: Great, actually. I'm thinking tonight, maybe the night. Yeah, I mean ah, the kids are gonna play together and then when they're asleep, I'm thinking Amanda and I break open a bottle of wine, and do a little "playing" ourselves.
Charlie: Right and then everybody finds out and they're like: "Oh, I knew all along"
Chandler: They're still just friends, right?
Phoebe: Okay, well I think that they're in my purse. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for them.
Chandler: (peeping) They're out there!
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel and Phoebe are looking at some photos and they're sitting next to the window.]
Chandler: Don't say Richard! Well, if they're not Monica's and they're not yours, then whose are they?
Phoebe: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
Ross: This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks. (takes a careful bite from the cookie)
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, they're all sitting around and talking.]
JOEY: [as they're walking out, Dr. Greene questioningly gestures at the Happy Birthday sign over the door] This is clearly in the wrong apartment. [they all walk across the hall]
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
RACHEL: Hi. Well hey, you don't - you don't think they're kind of cool?
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler)
JOEY: Yes! Yeah, it's like they're always saying "let's go here, let's go there". Like we can afford to go here and there.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, they're all hanging out in the living room.]
JOEY: Well, I can't use these forever. I mean, let's face it, they're no friend to the environment.
Rachel: Oh, they're firemen guys.
[Since they're alone they start kissing and Ross's hands work their way down until they're on Rachel's butt. Rachel starts laughing.]
RACHEL: Oh, well, you know, they're just separated so, you know, never know, we'll see.
Phoebe: Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. Allright, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites.
MONICA: Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See [squeezes her breast] honk honk.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They're still in their chairs watching TV. Chandler is ordering a pizza.]
Phoebe: Uh huh. But they're not your friends anymore.
Ross: I- I think they're great! I, I really do.
Monica: Is it like for dinosaur emergencies. 'Help, come quick, they're still extinct.'
MONICA: It's not gonna happen. They're doing it tonight, we can do it tomorrow.
Rachel: Hi! You guys, the car-service just got here. I can't believe they're not home yet! I have to catch my stupid plane. I wanna see the baby!
[Scene: The ride along, they're all waiting outside of the witness's house and still in the car in the same places as before.]
Rachel: Okay, they are. (No they're not.)
CHANDLER: Ya know Phoebs, don't feel so bad for 'em. After they're done playing, I break out the little plastic women and everybody has a pretty good time.
INTERVIEWER: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?
[Scene: The gate at the airport. The passengers are standing in line, and they're about to board the plane again.]
Phoebe: Okay, I wanna be sexy again so I'm trying to catch a cold. It should be easy, supposedly they're pretty common.
Rachel: Oh please, they're having sex.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Chandler: (speaking as in pain) They're never coming down now.
Rachel: Alright, now I really have to go. Okay. Au revoir! Oh, they're gonna really hate me over there.
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
Chandler: No, 'Slim Pickings', it's a barbecue restaurant. They're looking for a cook. Actually 'cook' may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for someone to shovel mesquite.
Roger: Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love.
RACH: Joey, honey, they don't know what they're talking about.
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
Joey: Yeah, they're mine.
Joey: Okay, here's my big scene. My big scene's here! (They have two of the cops on the street, then they cut to where they're entering an apartment.) Oh my God.
Chandler: See? They're Joey's! J-J-J-J-J-Joey's!
Chandler: Yes, but these women are very hot, and they need our help! And they're very hot.
Ross: Yeah, okay, hold on! (He puts the phone down and proceeds to spread a large amount of powder on his legs and makes another attempt at pulling up his pants. It doesn't work, and without picking up the phone leans down to it.) (Almost in tears.) They're not coming on man.
Joey: You mean how they're friends and nothing more? (Glares at Rachel.)
ROSS: No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing?
RTST: It's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called "fishtachios". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
Rachel: They're male nurses.
Rachel: Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.
Ross: Well, they're not mine!
LITTLE BULLY: And look where they're sitting.
RICHARD: Uh, they're not in it.
Phoebe: They're gonna call her Chandler.
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Chandler: I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
Chandler: Well, they're Joey's! They gotta be Joey's!
Phoebe: My grandmother has this new boyfriend, and they're both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf. So they're constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they're having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are!
Susan: They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
RACHEL: Ok, let me take these cakes back 'cause they're gonna take that out of my paycheck.
Joey: They're gonna do it together.
Phoebe: (Phoebe hangs up and someone knocks on the door. She gasps.) They're here already? How are they doing this?
Mr. Geller: Of course it did. They're made of wicker.
Kathy: Okay, I've got some ugly friends, and they're all available too.
Monica: They're still in my coat.
Ross: Oh, I hope they're not ruined.
[Scene: We're back to the present. Chandler and Monica's. They're all still at the kitchen table.]
JOEY: I'm sorry, it's the pigs. they're reluctant to get in the blankets!
(Chandler enters and sees what they're watching, panics, and runs to turn off the TV.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. The table is set, and there's food on the tables again. They're all there, toasting.]
PRODUCER:They're your backup singers... beind you.
Chandler: Yeah umm, they're called wallets.
Rachel: Because they're people.