words in movies
[Scene: The Buildings Roof, the entire gang plus Tag are there to look for a comet. Theyre looking for a comet on a roof of a New York apartment building. Yeah, thats realistic. You might as well look for the moon on a bright sunny day.]
All: (groaning) Oh no! Oh no! (They all start to get up a leave.)
All: Okay! Okay! (They start to leave again.)
Rachel: Oh. (They leave, leaving just Joey and Ross.)
Rachel: Okay. (They start to head for the bedroom) Oh wait! Umm, did you send those contracts to Milan?
Tag: No, I would see you looking embarrassed because they are not on my desk!
Rachel: Okay get your coat! (They get their coats and start to leave. Rachel suddenly stops and sticks the hand up the back of her shirt.) Oh! When did you unhook this? (Her bra.) Nice work!
Rachel: Oh really? So youre saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! (I think Dogbert should have a line here.)
Tag: How did you know they were in my bottom drawer?
(Ross continues his trek south, and when they get face to face.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's bedroom, theyre cuddling.]
Monica: No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two?
Joey: Sure! As long as they dont find out you can keep whatever you want! And I want you to have it.
(She opens the door and whips back the curtain. It's Joey. They both scream)
Joey: No! No. Umm, just myself and if they dont like me for(Laughs.) Im sorry I couldnt even get through that.
Chip: Yeah, they still wear underwear.
Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)
Ross: Nothing, ah there was this thing at the museum. Come on. (they go into her apartment) Easy.
Joey: No, no! (they all go towards the balcony but they get jammed in the window)
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, theyre all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, dont like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: Hey, thats not so bad.]
(they all put their ear against the wall to be able to hear what's being said. We move to Ross's room where he and Charlie are kissing.)
Monica: Phoebe, relax none of that stuff ever happens! They just put it on there for legal reasons!
Joey: Nah, its okay. Right, Gunther? (Winks at him as if theyre in on a secret together.)
Chandler: Yknow what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers . (Monica doesnt look impressed.) No? Really? They taste so good.
Alice: Ohhh. (They embrace in a very passionate kiss.)
Chandler: What is so funny about that? (they realise it wasn't a joke)
Ross: Ok ... (they leave the room, long pause) Well, uh, Joey, I guess we have no problem.
Phoebe: Yeah, 'cause otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered.
Rachel: Yeah! Yeah. Theyre theyre-theyre my friends, uh, Monica Stephanopolus and uh, and Chandler Acidofolus.
[They all turn around and look at Joey.]
Mr. Geller: Everyone thinks they know me. Everyone says 'Jack Geller, so predictable'. Maybe after I'm gone, they'll say 'Buried at sea! Huh!'.
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! I just talked to the casting people; they loved you!
Rachel: No! No, of course not. No. Thats why I brought it up. (Pause) They didnt have any sodas?
Excuse me, excuse me! Yeah, noisy boys! (They stop talking and look up) Is it something that you would like to share with the entire group?
(They clink glasses and take a drink. Ross likes it, Joey hates it. Then Ross sees Joey hating it, mimics he hates it as well.)
Chandler: My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross! (Ross and Chandler look off into the distance. Joey, wondering what they are looking at, looks in the same direction)
Phoebe: ...sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle;and away they all flew like the down of a thistle; but I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!"
Ross: Yknowthanks! (They hug)
Joey: Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, okay? And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump...
Phoebe: I love you too. (they hug) Please don't... Don't turn into... you know... French bitch! (they hug again)
All: Yeah! Yes! (They all right into the living room, all excited.)
(they all start to dive for the ball and Monica and Ross grab it at the same time.)
Mike: They have a game room downstairs! Ping pong and stuff.
Mike: Ok, fine, these rats are our responsibility. What happens when they mate and there are hundreds of them?
Rachel: I dont know! Maybe they have tools.
(Rachel gets up and ushers them into the hall, as they pass Joshua, he leaps onto the counter to avoid them. Rachel drops them off in the hall, and knocks on Joeys door.)
[Cut to outside, theyre going to talk to Phoebe about walking the bike.]
(Enter Rachel and Paolo. They are both somewhat flustered)
Phoebe: Listen. Listen. (She starts to play and sing.) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
ROSS: And you had no idea they weren't getting along?
Ross: You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to (Opens the door to find Jill standing there.) Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-thats just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, theyve really taken a liking to me. (Quickly looks out to see if theyre watching.) Uhh whats-whats-whats the matter?
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.
Rachel: What? What secrets? You know secrets? What are they?
Rachel: Okay. (They go into the living room.)
Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back)
Chandler: Okay! (They hug.) I was gonna wait til uh, it was official yknow? But I got so excited I just had to tell you guys because youre my best friends.
Monica: Oh God (Starts looking around.) Why dont they put chairs back here?!
(They kiss again.)
Monica: That doesn't matter! We have waited so long for this. I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies! I don't care if the entire cast of "Eight is Enough" comes out of there! We are taking them home, because they are our children!
[Since they're alone they start kissing and Ross's hands work their way down until they're on Rachel's butt. Rachel starts laughing.]
Ross: Marsha, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like 'Gee, that glacier's getting kinda close.' See?
Rachel: Im so not impressed. Everybody snacks when they shop.
(They do so and they take off their clothes.)
Monica: Oh! (They hug, triumphantly.)
Ross: You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys... are just having dinner or... watching TV or something, but... it makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good. (Joey pats Ross on his back)
Phoebe: Oh, there they are!
Monica: Is that, is that what they call strippers sometimes?
Joey: These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all...stop lastin'. Listen, uh, what do you say I buy you that cup of coffee now?
Joey: No, they�re comin�, we�re waitin� right here.
Rachel: Well, they uh, they-they do more than that.
(They both look at each other and start laughing (Lisa almost lost it there), and sit up. Ross hits his head on the lamp again.)
Monica: No! No. Theyre umm Theyre just uh ground beef smileys. (Holding up one of the shells.)
Ross: Oh, well, er, I already ate, but sure...! (they all look at each other when Ross grabs a plate) Guess what happened at work today...
Ross: Here they come, here they come. Oh-ho, if she kisses him goodnight, Im gonna kill myself, I swear. I cant, I cant watch this. (turns away, then quickly turns to look again) Come on, date over! Date over! Uh-oh, here we go, shes going in.
ROSS: They, uh, were infected. He wouldn't have made it.
[Scene, Phoebe and Rachels, theyre sitting together on the couch.]
Rachel: I know (she touches Emma’s head) but they’re just so beautiful! Oh, my God, I just pulled one out.
Joey: Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and...
Ross: (to Monica) Well, you were right. How can they do this to us, huh? It's Thanksgiving.
Ross: once you know the stories, its not that bad. First marriage, wifes hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Third marriage, well they really shouldnt allow you to get married when youre that drunk and have writing all over your face, Nevadas fault.
Phoebe: (proud of herself) Oh yes, they are.
PHOEBE: [cutting Mrs. Greene off] Ha-ha, that's great, ha-ha. I can't wait to hear the rest of it, ya know, but I really have to go to the bathroom so... Hey, come with me. Yeah, yeah, it'll be like we're gal pals, ya know, like at a restraunt. Oh, it'll be fun, c'mon. [they go in the bathroom]
Joey: Oh, yeah, well I already did that! They said theyre gonna look into it right after they solved all the murders.
Rachel: Oh, hey, I have an idea. Why don't we play rock-paper-scissors, and whoever loses goes in first. (they all agree) Ready? (they do the rock-paper-scissor thing with they hands and Rachel has paper, Phoebe and Ross both have rock, while Joey is doing a strange upward wiggling with his fingers. They all look a him confused).
Phoebe: Y'know I had a dream where Ross and Rachel were still together, they never broke up. And we were all just like hanging out, and everyone was happy....
(They go to hug but Ross's umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)
(An old West style showdown starts with Joey and the Hombre Man staring each other down as the store guy slowly lets in the first customer while Joey and the Hombre Man get ready to draw. In slow motion they spot the customer, eye each other, draw, and as the customer walks into the middle Joey's bottle misfires but the Hombre Man spays it into the customer's eyes.)
MONICA: Good, they feel good, in my head.
Monica: I swear, I promise. I promise. Oh my God, I'm so excited! {And I just can't hide it! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it! Sorry, just couldn't resist it.} All right, listen let me tell you, do not get her flowers. Okay? Because y'know, she cries when they die, and there's the whole funeral
(They both confer.)
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey, yo. [they move from out of in front of the TV]
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Phoebe: Hey, hey, ok, all right, that's it! Get in here. Come on. My god, you guys, I don't believe you. There are children coming into the world in this very building and your negative fighting noises are not the first thing they should be hearing. So just stop all the yelling, just stop it!
(They get into a wrestling match, that ends with Ross making Rachel paint her forehead with the nail polish. They both end up lying next to each other, stop, and look at each other for a moment.)
Joey: Hey. Hey look I am still Joey, okay. Flowers theyre just, you know, theyre nice to look at. And that happens to be a picture by a famous artist. Of a famous baby.
Joey: "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!"
Both: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
PHOEBE: Ohh, ok, I see what you did there. Aren't you afraid though, that the writers are gonna be kinda mad when they read this?
Monica: (Remotely turning off the television) okay, Pheebs, theyre gone.
Ross: Look, weve been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. (Pause) Its just if-if we got together again and it didnt work out I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything(Starts to cry.) Oh thats now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I were doing really, were doing really well right now.
JOEY: I got one. Which one of us do you think will be the last to get married? [They all look at Chandler]
(They go get a drink.)
JOEY: Yeah, that was a tricky one. In reality, that operation takes like, over 10 hours, but they only showed it for 2 minites.
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, theyre finishing up dinner.]
[Scene: Rosss Building, they are approaching the apartment of the woman who died. Ross knocks on the door and a woman answers it.]
Chandler: Yes, but these women are very hot, and they need our help! And they're very hot.
(They all go over to her apartment.)
Monica: Have a seat. (They sit at the table.) Okay, listen umm, Chandler and I are going to live together, here.
Ross: Believe me, it seems like less because they hid it from us for so long.
Chandler: I confronted her, and she didnt deny it! (Pause) I dont live here! (Goes back into his apartment and they all follow him.)
Dr. Mitchell: That's because they are.