words in movies
[Scene: The Charity Event, theyre holding a silent auction, Rachel is looking at one of the items and Phoebe walks up and hands her a glass of wine.]
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.
Phoebe: Oh, hi. (They shake hands.)
(They start lobbing the balloons in. Ross desperately tries to get out of the line of fire but is struck in the back. The girls all retreat to relative safety behind the couch.)
Joey: Look, I dont know why the kids need a youth center anyway! Yknow? They should just watch TV after school like I did and I turned out fine!
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
(They all drink.)
Monica: Oh Ross, sometimes grown-ups have commitments they just cant get out of!
Joey: Hey, being you is finally gonna pay off! (They give each other fives.)
Joey: Yeah! And also, a little like a French guy. (They both squint at each other.) I never noticed that before.
Monica: Oh God (Starts looking around.) Why dont they put chairs back here?!
Phoebe: I know, theyre gonna be so happy together.
(They both take a drink of coffee.)
Rachel: Well yknow, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time theyre 40, they marry each other.
Joey: I know! They suck!!
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Phoebe: Yeah absolutely! (They both switch.)
(The crowd goes wild as he puts the ring on her finger. They hug and kiss this time as an engaged couple.)
(They hug again.)
(They all hug again.)
Monica: (entering) Hey guys! Do you wanna look at the song list for the wedding? (They ignore her.) Guys?
Frank: Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl. So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into.
Rachel: Theyre in Vermont!! How could this happen?! (She waves her arms franticly and hits Chandler.)
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves. But in your case it's actually kinda true.
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
(They edge closer to the phone on the table.)
Ross: Remember the Russian satellite, Sputnik? (They all look at him.) Well, Im a potato or a spud. And these are my antennae. (Points to the colander with an old TV antenna glued on top that hes wearing.) So Sputnik, becomes (Theyre still confused) Spud-nik. Spudnik!
(They walk away.)
Phoebe: But theyre not!
Ursula: Well they could be true.
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
(They both go over to light the candles.)
Phoebe: Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also now that they bring happiness to lots of kids who's moms didn't kill themselves, so by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed.
Phoebe: Yeah, you should. (They shake hands.)
(They both exit.)
Rachel: I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldnt be a secret, and we wouldnt have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. (They both laugh.)
Joey: Im sorry, I just I like things the way they are.
Rachel: No! Come on! Dont make me go long. Use me. They never cover me.
(They exchange looks, smile, and shrug their shoulders before Ross suddenly lunges forward in an attempt to kiss her, but she expertly backs away.)
Chandler: Apology accepted. Excuse us. (They try to enter again.)
(They kiss and she starts to leave.)
Rachel: Okay, they are. (No they're not.)
(Ross continues his trek south, and when they get face to face.)
Burt: Theyre gonna fire you! You cant date a student! Its against the rules.
RACHEL: [on phone] Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat who, by the way, I think you should name Michael. And, you know, ya see there I'm thinking of names so obviously, I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. [hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket]
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
(Chandler opens the door and Monica sneaks up on it. They go inside.)
Chandler: Oh, I see what you mean, that's quite nice. (They look at each other, both embarassed)
Monica: Phoebe, they didnt make you pay for those knives, did they?
Emily: I cant believe theyre doing that to him! I told them to go easy on him!
Matt: Thats a good one? (They both laugh.)
LITTLE BULLY: Look, here's what we'll do. We'll put all keys and watches in the hat over there. Alright. [they all put their keys and watches in the hat and put it on a mail box] Alright, c'mon man, let's do this.
Phoebe: Oh! (They all look.) Wow!
Will: Yeah! (They high-five.)
(Decided that they are less than human as well, Chandler picks up a golf club and Monica a frying pan, to join in on the fun of beating their good friend to within an inch of his life!)
Monica: Theyre mine!
RACHEL: Do you guys ever get the feeling that um, Chandler and those guys just don't get that we don't make as much money as they do?
Phoebe: Wow! Theyre beautiful!
Monica: (almost crying) They hurt so much!
Stu: When theyre hookers.
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
Phoebe: Of course I do! And Im gonna give it back to you as soon as theyre done with it at the key shining place.
(They enter.)
Mr. Geller: What?! They wanted a scary story!
Monica: Okay! (They high-five and he walks out.)
Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)
Chandler: No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. (Monicas not impressed.) Ill get out of it.
(pause before Monica and Chandler speak, they look like they are looking for the right words)
(They start the routine. However hard I try, I really cannot describe it. You will have to watch it. Im sorry.)
Robert: (to Phoebe) So are ready for the gym? Theyve got this new rock climbing wall, we can spot each other.
JOEY: Oh, can you believe they gave Stephanie skin cancer?
Joey: Yeah! And-and things arent as smashed down as I thought they were gonna be.
Monica: Oh, you're so sweet. (They hug and kiss.) Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff?
(They go onto the set.)
Phoebe: YEAH...! How great is this...? (they kiss)
Phoebe: Uh-huh. (They go and sit down.)
Rachel: Yeah. (They go into the kitchen.)
(They flip through the pages to another picture.)
[Cut to Joey and Janines, theyre entering.]
Rachel: Oh! (They smile and the picture is taken.) Oh by the way?
Ross: Well, y'know how I'm trying to work things out with Emily. Well, there's this one thing Okay, (Rachel has her back turned to the camera, and Ross isn't looking at her.) here goes. I made a promise that-(they cut to the other camera and Ross notices something coming out of Rachel's nose)-Oh hey!
Dr. Harad: They have the honor of being born on The Fonz's half-birthday.
Monica: Theyre all Chandler.
Chandler: Yknow, itll be okay. Itll be okay. Because when they come over, I will be all charming, I will make them fall in love with me, and then well tell em.
Monica: Hey, I just whipped us up some Easy Bake treats, they should be ready in about three days.
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Phoebe: Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. (She goes to hug them and they both flinch, thinking that Phoebe is about to attack them.)
(They both start screaming at the top of their lungs.)
Rachel: (grabbing Phoebe) Okay. Well be right back. (They go into her office and she closes the door.)
(They all hug and then turn and look at Chandler)
(They both sit down on the chairs and put up the foot rest.)
Ross: Alright, now, you sure? Phoebe just threw away two jacks because they didn't look happy...
Monica: (to Janine) Youd better hope I dont see you in the hallway!! (They exit.)
Chandler: I'm not sure what they did, but I'm inclined to blame Enron.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler are there. They have lots of brochures about adoption in front of them.]
Ross: Oh! ...Yeah, they were gross. Oh, you know what I loved? Her Sweet 'n' Los. How she was always stealing them from- from restaurants.
(During the mutual contraction Julie takes a moment to point out theyre having a contraction at the same time.)
Phoebe: Okay, you guys. You guys I think I know whats going on here. Okay, you guys STOP!! (They stop.) I know that, I know that youre acting mad because you think that itll make it easier to leave. But deep down youre still really sad. Deep-deep down.
Chandler: I think I do! (They all laugh.) Thank you, Monica.
Ross: Turns out them Emily is just crazy about Susan. Yeah, theyre going to the theatre together! Theyre going to dinner! Theyre going horseback riding!
Joey: They were in his office.
Phoebe: They live on the upper east side on Park Avenue!
Joey: And Chandler I cant believe I let you pay for this one. (They hug and he whispers in his ear.) Thanks man.
Anchorwoman: (on TV) While most of us think of chocolate bunnies and baskets as traditional Easter gifts. Some people insist on giving live chicks as presents. (Joey is intrigued by the idea) Unfortunately, the sad fact remains that most of these little guys wont live to see the fourth of July. (Joey starts to call a place to buy a little baby chick) Because of as a result of improper care, they will be dead.
Ross: Phoebe! I can't believe you gave them money! I thought you agreed it was totally unreasonable that they asked me for that money!
Phoebe: Of course we can. Congratulations. (they hug, but Joey shakes his head.) Yay! (she gestures Joey to come and join in) Joey...
(Now they kiss passionately... and then Ross enters with Emma. They freeze, pull away and look at Ross who looks like he just can't believe what he's seeing. Joey straightens his shirt, and Rachel says I'm so-oo sorry, and presses her breasts together, just like Joey did before.)
Joey: Its been a while, huh? Wow, its funny these halls look smaller then they used to.
(They hug.)
(Chandler crawls over to Monica and they move in to kiss, but they cant do it and back up. They move in to kiss again, and kiss very awkwardly for a second, until someone knocks on the door.)
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Dr. Miller: Very good Monica! You know where they are.
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast, meanwhile there is coast behind him.)
(The crowd goes wild as he puts the ring on her finger. They hug and kiss this time as an engaged couple.)
Leslie: I played Smelly Cat for the people at my old ad agency, they went nuts.
Rachel: Okay. (The nurse exits.) Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn
(They all go into the hallway.)
Parker: No, they look too weird.
Phoebe: But you-you cant leave me with them! We-were a team! Were playing a zone! Theyre gonna triple team me!