words in movies
[Scene: The Charity Event, theyre holding a silent auction, Rachel is looking at one of the items and Phoebe walks up and hands her a glass of wine.]
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.
Phoebe: Oh, hi. (They shake hands.)
(They start lobbing the balloons in. Ross desperately tries to get out of the line of fire but is struck in the back. The girls all retreat to relative safety behind the couch.)
Joey: Look, I dont know why the kids need a youth center anyway! Yknow? They should just watch TV after school like I did and I turned out fine!
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
(They all drink.)
Monica: Oh Ross, sometimes grown-ups have commitments they just cant get out of!
Joey: Hey, being you is finally gonna pay off! (They give each other fives.)
Joey: Yeah! And also, a little like a French guy. (They both squint at each other.) I never noticed that before.
Monica: Oh God (Starts looking around.) Why dont they put chairs back here?!
Phoebe: I know, theyre gonna be so happy together.
(They both take a drink of coffee.)
Rachel: Well yknow, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time theyre 40, they marry each other.
Joey: I know! They suck!!
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Phoebe: Yeah absolutely! (They both switch.)
(The crowd goes wild as he puts the ring on her finger. They hug and kiss this time as an engaged couple.)
(They hug again.)
(They all hug again.)
Chandler: Yeah all right. (They part.) Okay, good night guys.
Monica: Why would they think theyre invited?
Phoebe: You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other.
Rachel: Horny bitch. (They both look at her, pretending that the dinosaurs shes holding are arguing.) No! Youre a horny bitch! Noooo! Youre the horny bitch! No! Youre a horny bitch!
Joey: Yeah, theyre not coming.
Chandler: Im right! Right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat, and now theres no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey told us what this means!
Phoebe: Wait, wait, remember when my water broke? (They all high-five again.)
Hotel Clerk: (watching the chase) They say he's only got half a tank left.
Joey: Uh, hey, Rach let me ask you something. Uh, I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler, boy they are really tight.
(They go away, trying very hard not to laugh at Chandler)
Joey: Why would they do that?! It was a good show right?!
Joey: They know you know.
Chandler: Love her! That's right, I LOVE HER!!! I love her!! (They walk together and hug.) I love you, Monica.
Monica: I love you too Chandler. (They kiss.)
Joey: (laughs) Yeah! Right! (points at Monica) People eat birds... Bird meat... Now do they just fly into your mouth or you go to... you go to a restaurant and you say: "Excuse me, I'll have a bucket of fried bird." (laughs again) Or... or maybe just a wing or... (realises...)
Monica: Mom says it's all of Manhattan, parts of Brooklyn and Queens, and they have no idea when it's coming back on.
Joey: They break your heart, dont they?
Joey: (whispers to Phoebe and Rachel) Hey, thank you so much. (They both exit.)
(Ross shuts it off and they get out.)
Fredrick: Thank you sweetheart. (They clink glasses.)
(They drive off.)
Ross: I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives. (they press their ears against the door)
Phoebe: I know. They were mine.
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.
Joey: Joey. (They shake hands.) Hey Jake, do you like the Knicks?
Rachel: Well, lets see. Uh, they gave me cute doctor today and in the middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple.
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
Phoebe: What are they?
Rachel: I guess you werent there. (They hug.)
[Cut to Chandler and Monicas as they enter.]
The Director: (stepping in) Excuse me. Excuse me. (to Kate) Sweetheart! (Kisses her.) Come! (They leave.)
All: All right. Okay. I'm starving! (They all get up, thus officially ending the game.)
Phoebe: (looks) Oh my God, youre right! I am too late; theyre sitting on the couch and talking! (To Patrick) Come on! (They go over to the couch.) Rachel?
Mrs. Green: I know, my daughters told me about it when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.
ROSS: Well, there's no way I'm gonna get a shot. Maybe they can take the needle and thquirt it into my mouth, you know, like a thquirt gun.
(They both step up onto the altar and she notices the rabbi.)
Joey: Why would they take away our keys?
DR. HORTON: No, no, they only said you.
(They both notice that Kristen has left.)
Phoebe: Oh and theyre gonna have a baby.
[Scene: The Porsche, they have pulled over and are awaiting the cop to come talk to them.]
(they all drink from the champagne, but clearly dislike the taste of it)
(They both laugh.)
Rachel: I cant believe theyve been together for three years.
(They frantically start making out.)
The Guys: Ohhhh! (They all look up in a moment of reflection.)
(They all start laughing.)
Phoebe: Wrong? Really? You know the word wrong. Everything isnt perfect? Everything isnt magical? Everything isnt a glow with the light of a million fairies? They were just brake lights, Parker!
(They both walk over to where Rachel is opening her gifts. Rachel sees her first gift is a fruit basket.)
(Monica screams and they all stare at her.)
Mike: Yeah, I'm sure they will, but you don't have to do this... I'm wanting them to get to know Phoebe, not (accent) Phoebe...
Monica: I know. I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy home that they actually liked.
(They walk onto the dance floor and Chandler slips and almost falls.)
(They enter.)
Chandler: You are incredible. Unless, I�I�m not gonna smoke again. And if I do, I promise, I will hide it so much better from you. (they kiss)
Erica: Oh, it was okay. I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner. We went to this place that had... Ooh... (she looks likes she is in pain, holding her belly) Hoo... ooh... Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers.
[cut to the gang, theyre all stunned]
Rachel: Oh I know. I know. (They hug.)
Monica: They wont be ready for weeks.
Phoebe: Umm, no thank you. (She gets up and moves to the couch. They were at a table previously.)
Joey: All right, I should get going, big day a work. Yknow Im in a coma? Today, they do this test on me and it turns out Im not brain dead.
Rachel: Youre supposed to realize that they are adults! And that they can make their own decisions.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is taking care of Marcel and they are watching a soap opera.]
Ross: What? Rach! Come on, thats terrible! Theyre uh theyre babies. Theyre-theyre all beautiful.
Monica: Theyre my pants!
(They get into position to pull the turkey off.)
(They both go out into the hall.)
(Chandler enters and they both jump up and pretend that Ross is showing her something in the couch.)
(They separate.)
Rachel: I know! (They hug.)
Ross: IThey would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Phoebe: What?! They took mine to give to you!
Joey: I dont have a key, they took mine to give to you.
Phoebe: Maybe they dont trust us.
Rachel: Of course theyre listening to you! Everybody listens to you.
(They go up to the counter.)
ROSS: Yeah, that way I figure, ya know, we'll be far enough away from our parents that we don't have to see them all the time but close enough that they can come over and babysit whenever we want. And yes, I know, the taxes are a little higher than, let's say, Nassau county but the school system's supposedly great.
Rachel: They do!
Ross: What? What? What?!! Well they should put that on the box!!!
Ross: They gave him a lot of medication, ok? He wouldn't even know if you were there. Look, we'll go see him first thing in the morning, ok?
Ross and Joey: No-no-no-no-no. (They start to turn away, but Phoebe stops them, and turns them back to face her.)
Monica: No, they were really cool. They were on their honeymoon too!
Rachel: Im sorry, they were just all coming at me, and I didnt know what to do.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross is on his date with Kristen and theyre drinking wine.]
Emily: Oh my God! What are you doing here? (They hug)
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Estelle: Yeah, they wanna see you again tomorrow.
(They both sit down.)
Monica: My dad told me. They play golf together.
(She hangs up the phone and they hug.)
Joey: (muffled) Oh, they gave it to me at the sleep clinic, and its gonna help me not to snore.
Fat Joey: Thanks sweetheart. Give me a little sugar here. (They kiss.) Okay.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. (Chandler and Ross stare at him) What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
(They go inside and Ross closes the door. When he turns around Elizabeth walks up to him, pushes him back against the door, and starts kissing him.)
(They sit on some front steps.)
(They both look at Phoebe.)
Rachel: Theyre in Vermont!! How could this happen?! (She waves her arms franticly and hits Chandler.)
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves. But in your case it's actually kinda true.