words in movies
[Scene: The Charity Event, theyre holding a silent auction, Rachel is looking at one of the items and Phoebe walks up and hands her a glass of wine.]
Rachel: Uh well, uh this is a silent auction. They lay out all the stuff here and then you write down your offer and then the highest bid gets it.
Phoebe: Oh, hi. (They shake hands.)
(They start lobbing the balloons in. Ross desperately tries to get out of the line of fire but is struck in the back. The girls all retreat to relative safety behind the couch.)
Joey: Look, I dont know why the kids need a youth center anyway! Yknow? They should just watch TV after school like I did and I turned out fine!
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
(They all drink.)
Monica: Oh Ross, sometimes grown-ups have commitments they just cant get out of!
Joey: Hey, being you is finally gonna pay off! (They give each other fives.)
Joey: Yeah! And also, a little like a French guy. (They both squint at each other.) I never noticed that before.
Monica: Oh God (Starts looking around.) Why dont they put chairs back here?!
Phoebe: I know, theyre gonna be so happy together.
(They both take a drink of coffee.)
Rachel: Well yknow, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time theyre 40, they marry each other.
Joey: I know! They suck!!
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Phoebe: Yeah absolutely! (They both switch.)
(The crowd goes wild as he puts the ring on her finger. They hug and kiss this time as an engaged couple.)
(They hug again.)
(They all hug again.)
(They both start screaming at the top of their lungs.)
Rachel: (grabbing Phoebe) Okay. Well be right back. (They go into her office and she closes the door.)
(They all hug and then turn and look at Chandler)
(They both sit down on the chairs and put up the foot rest.)
Ross: Alright, now, you sure? Phoebe just threw away two jacks because they didn't look happy...
Monica: (to Janine) Youd better hope I dont see you in the hallway!! (They exit.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler are there. They have lots of brochures about adoption in front of them.]
(During the mutual contraction Julie takes a moment to point out theyre having a contraction at the same time.)
Phoebe: Okay, you guys. You guys I think I know whats going on here. Okay, you guys STOP!! (They stop.) I know that, I know that youre acting mad because you think that itll make it easier to leave. But deep down youre still really sad. Deep-deep down.
Chandler: I think I do! (They all laugh.) Thank you, Monica.
Ross: Oh! ...Yeah, they were gross. Oh, you know what I loved? Her Sweet 'n' Los. How she was always stealing them from- from restaurants.
Chandler: I'm not sure what they did, but I'm inclined to blame Enron.
Ross: Turns out them Emily is just crazy about Susan. Yeah, theyre going to the theatre together! Theyre going to dinner! Theyre going horseback riding!
Phoebe: They live on the upper east side on Park Avenue!
Joey: And Chandler I cant believe I let you pay for this one. (They hug and he whispers in his ear.) Thanks man.
Joey: They were in his office.
Ross: Phoebe! I can't believe you gave them money! I thought you agreed it was totally unreasonable that they asked me for that money!
Phoebe: Of course we can. Congratulations. (they hug, but Joey shakes his head.) Yay! (she gestures Joey to come and join in) Joey...
Anchorwoman: (on TV) While most of us think of chocolate bunnies and baskets as traditional Easter gifts. Some people insist on giving live chicks as presents. (Joey is intrigued by the idea) Unfortunately, the sad fact remains that most of these little guys wont live to see the fourth of July. (Joey starts to call a place to buy a little baby chick) Because of as a result of improper care, they will be dead.
Joey: Its been a while, huh? Wow, its funny these halls look smaller then they used to.
(They hug.)
(Chandler crawls over to Monica and they move in to kiss, but they cant do it and back up. They move in to kiss again, and kiss very awkwardly for a second, until someone knocks on the door.)
(Now they kiss passionately... and then Ross enters with Emma. They freeze, pull away and look at Ross who looks like he just can't believe what he's seeing. Joey straightens his shirt, and Rachel says I'm so-oo sorry, and presses her breasts together, just like Joey did before.)
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast, meanwhile there is coast behind him.)
(The crowd goes wild as he puts the ring on her finger. They hug and kiss this time as an engaged couple.)
Dr. Miller: Very good Monica! You know where they are.
Leslie: I played Smelly Cat for the people at my old ad agency, they went nuts.
(They all go into the hallway.)
Parker: No, they look too weird.
Phoebe: But you-you cant leave me with them! We-were a team! Were playing a zone! Theyre gonna triple team me!
Rachel: Okay. (The nurse exits.) Oh man, I swear if they sold these at Pottery Barn
Mr. Geller: So, I think youre boxes are over here. (They walk over to them.)
Ross: (sarcastically) I can't believe they gave you a ticket. You're such a good driver.
(They sit back)
Mike: You can't keep a rat in your appartment! They're extremely unsanitary, and they transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus.
Monica: Why did they get divorced?
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.
Mrs. Geller: Ooh, Jack....(He looks over to her) Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be. (They embrace and kiss passionately.)
Ross: Oh, come on Rach, we will. I promise. We have more interviews (They sit down and Rachel sighs) And worse comes to worse, we can always reconsider the uhm... the first one we met with.
Chandler: Hello? It's Nancy, they responded to our offer.
(Joey and Ross pause while they picture the event.)
Rachel: (She considers it for a second) Yeah okay. (She puts her hands around his neck and they start kissing again)
Chandler: I totally understand. (They both laugh.) Can I just see your bra?
(They want to kiss, but just before their lips touch, Rachel pulls back quickly, gasping)
Chandler: So where are we on the whole going back to the place where they have all the marriages thing? I love you.
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, they are entering to check out the newly refurbished apartment.]
Phoebe: Yeah, but they didn't ask me! Y'know? This way I'm just y'know, the exotic, generous stranger. That's always fun to be.
Chandler: Yeah, I know, but all of those little annoying things she did before we fell in love? Like her voice, her laugh, her personalityWell, theyre all back! Yknow? And shes picked up like nine new ones!
Phoebe: (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here. (She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!
Rachel: (laughs) Okay. All right, stand up. (They do so.) Well, when were at the door, I lightly press my lips against his, and then move into his body just for a second, and then I make this sound, "Hmmm." Okay, I know it doesnt sound like anything, but I swear it works.
Ross: Yeah, they all know.
Amy: wow. They must put a lot of makeup on you.
Phoebe: Oh, she sees him! Oh, theyre hugging!
<they hug and kiss on check>
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
(At this point, Chandler walks into the living room from his bedroom. Ross and Joey both have their backs to him, so they don't notice. Chandler sees the situation and remains quiet, watching.)
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
The Interviewer: (To Joey) Yknow I think its great you wanted to meet here. Yknow when most people hear the magazine is paying for it they want to go to a big fancy restaurant.
Mona: (To Joey) Wow! Theyre both really strong.
Rachel: and then they came back from smoking and they had made all of the decisions without me!
The Interviewer: Absolutely. (They walk to the door.) You can relax; you did great.
Chandler: Girth? Why, why, why, wh-why, why, why, why would they do this?
Chandler: Oh I just got another rejection letter. They said my writing was funny, just not "Archie Comic funny."
Joey: Thats the title! Yeah! Yknow they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese.
(They enter.)
Rachel: (starting to cry) Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. (They hug.)
Ross: I really think theyre out of rooms.
(They go off to their bedrooms)
RACH: Cats, how long do they live figuring you don't... y'know, throw 'em under a bus or something?
Monica: No! No-no theyre not. Theyre still very angry! But yknow Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.
(They kiss again.)
(They hug and then kiss one more time.)
(They start making out again.)
(They all leave and Joey comes back in quickly.)
[Scene: Monica's apartment. They are all sitting around.]
Ross: Hey! (they hug) So, how was Atlantic City?
Rachel: Well they have uh, some unusual pet names for each other. Including umm, evil bitch and uh, sick bastard. Oh God oh! Contraction!
(They run off in search of a bed.)
Ross: (on tape) I know. Hey remember remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost
Rachel: That was one time, Ross, and they were only like 5 milligrams.
Chandler: Okay. (They start kissing.)
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Chandler: Turns out they can't fire me. Because I quit.
Rachel: All right, well, everybody just remember where they were sitting.
Joey: No they cant! They were stupid enough to get knocked up!
Rachel: Well tell us! What are they?
Chandler: Made a few calls, pulled some strings, and they agreed to seat us at 11:30 if we both had the chicken and didn't get desert.
Monica: I dont see him. Hey! Maybe hes in the sugar bowl! (Opens the sugar bowl) Joey? Nope! (Closes the sugar bowl and they both laugh.)
(They hug.)
Joey: Yeah, they do! Quit being a baby and leave me alone! There, youve just had your first class!
Joey: So Pheebs, do they know about each other?
Chandler: Im sorry. Youre not easy-going, but youre passionate, and thats good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that Im pretty good about making you feel better about that. And thats good too. So, they can say that youre high maintenance, but its okay, because I like maintaining you.
Phoebe: Okay! Okay! Okay! (They run into the chapel.)
(They all go down the stairs, but Ross turns around, looking like his in a coma. The others also turns around to get him.)
Phoebe: Oh, nobody's judging you. (They all turn and look at Ross.)
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
Joey: I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.
Joey: No, I-I just heard lunch. But yeah, I can go. Sure! (They all exit.)