words in movies
Ross: Well remember that paper I had published last year on sediment flow rate, huh? They loved it.
Ross: I know! Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer! I mean its temporary, but uh, if they like me it could lead to a full time job. How great would that look great on a mailbox, huh? "Professor Geller."
(They pause to think about it.)
Chandler: Okay, its not a check. Theyre saying your health insurance expired because, you didnt work enough last year.
Rachel: Oh yeah, theyre really great! Arent they?
Estelle: Well! Well! Well! Joey Tribbiani! So you came back huh? They think they can do better but they all come crawling back to Estelle!
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
(They enter the lecture hall to find Ross speaking in an English accent for some unknown reason.)
Ross: Look, I was nervous! You guys had me all worried I was going to be boring! I got up there and they were all like staring at me. I opened my mouth and this British accent just came out.
(They turn back to Rachel and Professor Rathman.)
Rachel: No! They are mine!
Rachel: Yeah, I mean, come on Ross, no one will even notice. I mean theyre probably not even listening!
Ross: Theyre not listening too me?
Rachel: Of course theyre listening to you! Everybody listens to you.
Ross: (British) Come again? Whats-whats this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, Im-Im not English. Im from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. Im sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because Im-Im hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression
(Decided that they are less than human as well, Chandler picks up a golf club and Monica a frying pan, to join in on the fun of beating their good friend to within an inch of his life!)
Rachel: (turns around) Mark? Oh my God! (puts the box on the chair and they hug each other)
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Monica: Theyre kissing lets just go around them.
Chandler: Dude, you have got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up.
(They both kiss again and fall onto the bed.)
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
(They all cheer and hug again, but Joey's eating the food off his shirt)
Joey: Oh, all blank, and no blank, makes blank a blank blank. Oh no-no-no, no, the end when Jack almost kills them all with that blank, but then at last second they get away. Aww!
Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?
Rachel: Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! (They both just stare at her.) Okay, dont believe me, I know Im rightdo you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there including Janice, theyre watching Happy Days.]
Eric: I dont think they have a name for it. Its just I get nervous; I start sweating like crazy.
(They start towards the door but are stopped when Mr. Zelner enters.)
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Monica: Rachel, (they go back inside) say that I'm friends with her, we spend some time together. Is that so terrible?
Monica: Sweetie, I think the glasses look great. They make you look really sexy.
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
(Phoebe buttons her lip, while the rest of the gang pretend theyre not there.)
Ross: Excuse me sir, you've got a little something right here. (He points to the corner of his mouth and they both laugh.)
(They open their eyes and are stunned at the van.)
Ross: At least they knew what yours was. Y'know, yours had a name.
Ross: No. No. No, I'm-I'm glad you did. Look, if nothing else, it's-it's always great when someone tells you they love you.
Chandler: (angrily) I dont think thats what they were talking about Joe!!
(They both leave just as Rachel enters the room, holding a cup.)
Phoebe: But they shouldn't happen, you know what, you're, you're in a terrible, terrible business. Oh God, I don't wanna be the person who makes your face look like that.
Chandler: (thinking it over) Well, I did put a lot of thought in the tape. (They both run into the bedroom.)
Monica: (gasps) Oooh! They are in for a world of pain!
RACHEL: I know, I know, I know, I know. I was just thinking about when they were there the last time, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. OK, OK, look, woah, I promise, I'm good, I'm not gonna laugh anymore. OK put your hands back there.
Monica: Bye. (They resume their previous positions.)
(They look up towards the vent and wave at Phoebe.)
Chandler: Bad news. I watched the tape and passed it along to my bosses and they weren't interested.
Chandler: I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
Kathy: (outside the door) No. (Chandler opens the door and they kiss again.)
Phoebe: Okay. (they start to leave, he is still following her) Okay, you don't have to walk behind me any more.
Rachel: Ralph Lauren called again and they offered me more money.
(They almost kiss and then Joey realises her kids are staring at them)
Monica: All right, Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things. Now Phoebe, go tell the guys they have to help out!
Monica: Are you serious? (they all look) Oh my God.
(They all go over and hug Phoebe.)
Joey: I know! I know! And Im going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They Theyre like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I I dont think we can be together. It just, it just cant work. It cant. (Starts to break up) Im very upset.
Chandler: They got a breakfast buffet.
Janice: Im telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say theyre gonna be there until they start their real family.
Phoebe: Ohh, they gave me a great spot. Right by Macys. Yeah, they hardly ever give such a good spot to a rookie, but Im the only one who can sing "Merry Christmas" in 25 languages. (She smirks.) I lied.
Joey: All right! All right! Enough! Enough! Enough!! Enough! (To Chandler and Monica) You two go home! I-I-I gotta talk to Janine! (They start to leave.)
Monica: Wait a minute, why dont you just call Mark. (they both look up in shock) I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, youve got to make stuff happen.
Monica: Hes retiling my floor. (they both run to the bathroom)
(They both start laughing. They look at each other, stop and step apart a little bit.)
[He kisses her on the cheek, she returns the kiss, then they embrace in a full on kiss]
Joey: Yeah? Well, I dont want to talk to you Wayne! I hate you! You ruined my life! Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler. (They shake hands.)
(They all run and join her at the window.)
Joey: Listen, drama critics theyre nothing but, but people who couldnt make it as actors. You know what you should do?
Rachel: And yknow what else, oh my God, are they gonna love you.
Chandler: Is this why they dont like me or why you dont like me?
Rachel: Hey! Yknow, sometimes you can do everything right, everyone can wear everything theyre supposed to wear, and one of those little guys just gets through!
Paula: Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy..
Ross: I was their first born! They thought she was barren! Its not my fault.
Monica: Right, you only go for them 5 minutes before they get married.
Chandler: Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of there way to show theyre not in the baby buying business.
Chandler: Okay. (They switch places and Chandler gets out a credit card.) So uh, Ross is kinda bummed huh?
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
Phoebe: Ooh! (They all go over to her apartment)
[They run out and knock on Monica and Rachel's door]
JOEY: Supposably. Supposably. Did they go to the zoo? Supposably.
Rachel: Well yknow, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time theyre 40, they marry each other.
Joey: Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, theyre still playing Cups.]
Emily: Well then well get wet. (They kiss.)
(they make as if to go, but Ross notices something)
Phoebe: Dont you just love the way they talk?!
Monica: Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing.
Joey: All right they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider. (takes a glass from the fridge.)
[Cut back to Monica and Chandlers room, they are making out again as theres another knock on the door.]
(They both get out of bed and go get some cake.)
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Rachel: Thank you. (They hug.) Oh Joey and look at this crib! Its so cute!
Monica: They gave us a fake number? Why? Why would they do that?
Tag: Okay. (They sit on the step.)
Monica: I mean, youre the one theyre gonna come to when they wanna run away from home, and the one they talk to about sex.
Ross: Oh its okay. Theyre just-theyre just wrapping her up.
Phoebe: Yeah! Let's do it! Let's live together! (They embrace and Mike kisses Phoebe) Oh god, we're really going to move in together!
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Ross: Cool! (They start kissing again and Chandler looks shocked)
RACHEL: Ahh, so do you, beautiful. [they hug]
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. Jokes? You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right?
Monica: (starting to cry) Im sorry I almost made you sleep with Ross. (They hug.)
Chandler: If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would have brought more pizza. (they all burst out in a thundering laugh)
Phoebe: Well, they fired me and Im having heart attack.
Phoebe: Yes, it was! It was him! Uh huh! (they all stare at her) Okay, it was me!
Dave: Yeah, me too. (They reach her door.) So, I guess this is it.
Rachel: Yee. I mean, it was so weirdest thing. They fired me and then out of nowhere they just hire me back! I mean, that place must have been falling apart without me.
Chandler: Listen, they are really great. If you just got a chance
tip the scales in my direction. Check it out, you can probably see it from the window. (They all head to the window.)
(Chandler leans back against the wall and Ross and Joey hear him. Ross and Joey both notice at the same time. They slowly stop, and then very slowly turn around to see Chandler staring at them.)
Charlie: Oh my God, I completely forgot! (they laugh) Oh my God! I can't believe they let us back in this place! (they laugh more, and Ross start laughing too).
(They run to the bedroom and close the door carefully just as Joey enters.)
(They both go to Chandlers bedroom to get his coat.)
Chandler: You know, I don't mind a... male nanny, but I do draw the line at a male wetnurse. (again they laugh, even more fake than before)
(They click their glasses and take a sip. That sip turns into a gulp, which quickly progresses into their mutual draining of their glasses at once.)
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)