words in movies
Ross: Well remember that paper I had published last year on sediment flow rate, huh? They loved it.
Ross: I know! Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer! I mean its temporary, but uh, if they like me it could lead to a full time job. How great would that look great on a mailbox, huh? "Professor Geller."
(They pause to think about it.)
Chandler: Okay, its not a check. Theyre saying your health insurance expired because, you didnt work enough last year.
Rachel: Oh yeah, theyre really great! Arent they?
Estelle: Well! Well! Well! Joey Tribbiani! So you came back huh? They think they can do better but they all come crawling back to Estelle!
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
(They enter the lecture hall to find Ross speaking in an English accent for some unknown reason.)
Ross: Look, I was nervous! You guys had me all worried I was going to be boring! I got up there and they were all like staring at me. I opened my mouth and this British accent just came out.
(They turn back to Rachel and Professor Rathman.)
Rachel: No! They are mine!
Rachel: Yeah, I mean, come on Ross, no one will even notice. I mean theyre probably not even listening!
Ross: Theyre not listening too me?
Rachel: Of course theyre listening to you! Everybody listens to you.
Ross: (British) Come again? Whats-whats this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, Im-Im not English. Im from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. Im sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because Im-Im hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression
(Decided that they are less than human as well, Chandler picks up a golf club and Monica a frying pan, to join in on the fun of beating their good friend to within an inch of his life!)
RACHEL: I know, I know, I know, I know. I was just thinking about when they were there the last time, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. OK, OK, look, woah, I promise, I'm good, I'm not gonna laugh anymore. OK put your hands back there.
Monica: Bye. (They resume their previous positions.)
(They look up towards the vent and wave at Phoebe.)
Chandler: Bad news. I watched the tape and passed it along to my bosses and they weren't interested.
Chandler: I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
Kathy: (outside the door) No. (Chandler opens the door and they kiss again.)
Phoebe: Okay. (they start to leave, he is still following her) Okay, you don't have to walk behind me any more.
Rachel: Ralph Lauren called again and they offered me more money.
(They almost kiss and then Joey realises her kids are staring at them)
Monica: All right, Chandler can make boxes, Ross can wrap, and Joey can lift things. Now Phoebe, go tell the guys they have to help out!
Monica: Are you serious? (they all look) Oh my God.
(They all go over and hug Phoebe.)
Joey: I know! I know! And Im going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They Theyre like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I I dont think we can be together. It just, it just cant work. It cant. (Starts to break up) Im very upset.
Chandler: They got a breakfast buffet.
Janice: Im telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say theyre gonna be there until they start their real family.
Phoebe: Ohh, they gave me a great spot. Right by Macys. Yeah, they hardly ever give such a good spot to a rookie, but Im the only one who can sing "Merry Christmas" in 25 languages. (She smirks.) I lied.
Joey: All right! All right! Enough! Enough! Enough!! Enough! (To Chandler and Monica) You two go home! I-I-I gotta talk to Janine! (They start to leave.)
Monica: Wait a minute, why dont you just call Mark. (they both look up in shock) I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, youve got to make stuff happen.
Monica: Hes retiling my floor. (they both run to the bathroom)
(They both start laughing. They look at each other, stop and step apart a little bit.)
[He kisses her on the cheek, she returns the kiss, then they embrace in a full on kiss]
Joey: Yeah? Well, I dont want to talk to you Wayne! I hate you! You ruined my life! Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler. (They shake hands.)
(They all run and join her at the window.)
Joey: Listen, drama critics theyre nothing but, but people who couldnt make it as actors. You know what you should do?
Rachel: And yknow what else, oh my God, are they gonna love you.
Chandler: Is this why they dont like me or why you dont like me?
Rachel: Hey! Yknow, sometimes you can do everything right, everyone can wear everything theyre supposed to wear, and one of those little guys just gets through!
Paula: Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy..
Ross: I was their first born! They thought she was barren! Its not my fault.
Monica: Right, you only go for them 5 minutes before they get married.
Chandler: Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of there way to show theyre not in the baby buying business.
Chandler: Okay. (They switch places and Chandler gets out a credit card.) So uh, Ross is kinda bummed huh?
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
Phoebe: Ooh! (They all go over to her apartment)
[They run out and knock on Monica and Rachel's door]
JOEY: Supposably. Supposably. Did they go to the zoo? Supposably.
Rachel: Well yknow, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time theyre 40, they marry each other.
Joey: Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, theyre still playing Cups.]
Emily: Well then well get wet. (They kiss.)
(they make as if to go, but Ross notices something)
Phoebe: Dont you just love the way they talk?!
Monica: Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing.
[Cut back to Monica and Chandlers room, they are making out again as theres another knock on the door.]
(They both get out of bed and go get some cake.)
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Joey: All right they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider. (takes a glass from the fridge.)
Rachel: Thank you. (They hug.) Oh Joey and look at this crib! Its so cute!
Tag: Okay. (They sit on the step.)
Monica: I mean, youre the one theyre gonna come to when they wanna run away from home, and the one they talk to about sex.
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Ross: Oh its okay. Theyre just-theyre just wrapping her up.
Phoebe: Yeah! Let's do it! Let's live together! (They embrace and Mike kisses Phoebe) Oh god, we're really going to move in together!
Monica: They gave us a fake number? Why? Why would they do that?
RACHEL: Ahh, so do you, beautiful. [they hug]
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. Jokes? You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right?
Ross: Cool! (They start kissing again and Chandler looks shocked)
Phoebe: Yes, it was! It was him! Uh huh! (they all stare at her) Okay, it was me!
Dave: Yeah, me too. (They reach her door.) So, I guess this is it.
Rachel: Yee. I mean, it was so weirdest thing. They fired me and then out of nowhere they just hire me back! I mean, that place must have been falling apart without me.
Chandler: If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would have brought more pizza. (they all burst out in a thundering laugh)
Phoebe: Well, they fired me and Im having heart attack.
Monica: (starting to cry) Im sorry I almost made you sleep with Ross. (They hug.)
tip the scales in my direction. Check it out, you can probably see it from the window. (They all head to the window.)
(Chandler leans back against the wall and Ross and Joey hear him. Ross and Joey both notice at the same time. They slowly stop, and then very slowly turn around to see Chandler staring at them.)
Chandler: Listen, they are really great. If you just got a chance
Charlie: Oh my God, I completely forgot! (they laugh) Oh my God! I can't believe they let us back in this place! (they laugh more, and Ross start laughing too).
Chandler: You know, I don't mind a... male nanny, but I do draw the line at a male wetnurse. (again they laugh, even more fake than before)
(They run to the bedroom and close the door carefully just as Joey enters.)
(They both go to Chandlers bedroom to get his coat.)
Chandler: Aww, man! (They go into Monica's room.)
Joey: (entering) Look, what am I gonna do? I'm not flirting but still, I'm drawing her to me like - like a moth to a flame! (Tries to put his feet on the coffee table...they won't reach and looks around.) What the hell's going on over here?!?!? (Points to Chandler) Monica's gonna kill you! Look I need your help, I have to do something to-to repel this woman! Wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys repel women all the time.
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)
(They walk on. Chandler and Joey start to talk but Ross stops and whines.)
Elizabeth: Uh no, theyre still here but I think Im about to leave.
Chandler: To the left, to the left- aww! (They all collapse)
(They click their glasses and take a sip. That sip turns into a gulp, which quickly progresses into their mutual draining of their glasses at once.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys, they are admiring the entertainment center]
Monica: ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!
Rachel: Oh, its so sad they never had a chance to meet.
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
Mrs. Geller: They all had a thing for him.
Ross: Yeah. (They go to the kitchen.)
Rachel: Yeah thats great Paul, but yknow I wanna know what(Puts her hands on his shoulders)Wow, those are really great! I just wanna know what, what is behind this-this strong, silent exterior. Yknow they say that still waters run deep and I wanna swim in yours.
(They start kissing again and, when Joey grazes her thigh, she slaps him on his hand again)
Ross: Oh, well you see how it works is, the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is actually live, but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that.
(They thread the needle and start poking him, he then stirs.)
Joey: Come on Treeger, dont say that. You just ahh, you just need more practice. Here, come on, lets ahh, lets try it again. Come on. (they start dancing again) Plus, it was, it was probably mostly my fault, anyway. I mean, yknow, Im not really that comfortable dancing with a(Treeger throws him) We-he!! Hey!
(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)
Monica: They love my candy? Oh man!!! Ive gotta go make more!! (Starts to do so.)
Phoebe: Id better go. (She goes and sits down in the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000, the chair that Sit magazine called chair of the year, and they both look at her.) Just over here: I dont want to miss the fight.
Monica: What did they do to you?
[Scene: Ross and his date walk into a lobby. They are both wearing their jackets]
(They move into a space, and Ross points to his eyes and then to hers)
[Scene: The apartment in the listing, the guys are checking it out. There's one problem though, it's roughly the size of this computer screen. As they enter Joey lets out a whistle.]
All: Okayyy! (They do so.)
Chandler: Yeah! When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me! Look, things like last night they dont just happen. Yknow? Or at least not to me. Or with the other two women, in the morning yknow I was just lying there and I couldnt wait to just go hang out with my friends, but with you I always yknow with a friend.
Joey: The Celtics? Ha. They couldn't hit a boat if...wait. They suck, alright?
Chandler: He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own!
ROSS: I don't know, I don't think mom and dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, how dad used to say, 'God I hope they get together.'