words in movies
Phoebe: You guys you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldnt be living in an apartment.
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Phoebe: Oh, theyre just gonna umm, look to see if my endometria layer is thick.
Rachel: Im so not impressed. Everybody snacks when they shop.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes. (Theyre perfect so far.)
Ross: They have another guess.
Chandler: I got it! Scotch tape. (Theyre right.)
(They all pause and think about it.)
All: Yeah! Yes! (They all right into the living room, all excited.)
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Rachel: Okay. (They go into the living room.)
(They both confer.)
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Joey: Heyooh Pheebs, are they in there?
Phoebe: Umm, yeah, uh-huh, theyre implanted.
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Monica: Look Rach, we have to move. I mean if they had lost, we wouldve made them get rid of the birds. Right?
Frank: Okay. (They both squeal in expectation.)
(They all decay into massive bickering as Phoebe returns from the bathroom.)
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! Youre gonna have a baby! Theyre gonna have a baby!
(They all go over and hug Phoebe.)
All: Oh! (They stop hugging her to let her out and resume the hug without her.)
(She opens a door and they both scream at horror at whats inside of it.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
(They both sit down on the chairs and put up the foot rest.)
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
Rachel: Its okay. Sometimes, things dont work out the way youd thought they would.
(They both jump up and wipe off their butts.)
Phoebe: Well, Im ready to get the hell out of here! (Sees Ross and Rachel cuddling on the couch.) Oh. Are you? Are you?!! (they nod Yes.) Ohh! Thats so great!! Ooh, not for Bonnie. (they nod No.) But for you, yay! Ohh.
Robert: Jeez, thank you really that is so nice. But um, to be honest, I dont think I can wear these, theyre so tight, I feel like Im on display. Im sorry.
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Rachel: No! They are mine!
Phoebe: Thats right, exactly. (sees them) All right, its a good bye kiss, thats good. (Frank picks Alice up and they move to the couch) Bye-bye. (They both lie down on the couch and start to make out.) Okay, no, the important thing is that you see what Im saying, y'know, just y'know, this is clearly wrong. (They ignore her) Okay, Ive decided Im gonna let this happen! Okay, can I just get my purse? (She reaches in and Alice moans) Okay, all right, good. (leaves).
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
[Scene: Back at Monica and Rachel's apartment. They are now fighting about what Rachel told Van Damme.]
Rachel: Oh thats all right! Yknow, I ended up having a really good time. Yknow, the charity was a big success and they raised a lot of money and awareness.
Ross: Right, they are scary. (He jumps up, screaming) Ahh, she just ate a treat out of my hand!!!
Rachel: (Reading) Dear losers, do you really think Id hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew theyd break you.
Mr. Geller: (pause) Sorry to bother you again, but could you pass my pamphlets back? (They do so.) Thank you.
[Scene: Street, Phoebe is being followed by some guy, as they pass a flower vendor. Phoebe turns around and the guy quickly picks up some flowers and continues following her.]
Ross: Hey, if they have a ball maybe you can stick razor blades in it and teach them a new game, Gonna Need Stitches Ball.
(They go to hug but Ross' umbrella opens. He sits, defeated again.)
Janine: Well they said I should bring someone. (To Joey) Do you wanna be my dance partner?
(They disappear into the bedroom leaving Ross standing in the living room holding Susans coat.)
Monica: They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago.
Chandler: (almost crying) I wouldn't know, I didn't make it! (they hug)
Rachel: Oh, hi sweetie. (They kiss)
Chandler: (starts crying) I-I cant believe Jills gone. (They all look at him.) I cant help it, I opened a gate.
Chandler: Get ready to run. (Chandler walks over to the new bride.) Congratulations on your wedding. (He grabs her, kisses her, Ross takes the picture, and they both run out.)
Ross: No, come on dont start. (they start kissing again) Ouch!
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, Frank. I counted them when they were coming out of my area.
Monica: Why would I say anything? That two of our best friends could start the greatest love affair of their lives! And they would have me to thank, and we could all start having babies?
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
(They go into the bedroom leaving Joey and Rachel alone.)
Phoebe: Well, umm, not much. But, I was just thinking that since those guys just got engaged that maybe it would be nice if they had some privacy, yknow? So, could I just move in with you for a couple days?
Rachel: They took Ben to the park. Where've you been?
Ross: (seeing Phoebe still with cat) You didnt tell her?! (They all kinda shy away.) Okay, fine! Pheebs?
Ross: Yeah! Theyre putting together this panel to talk about these fossils they just found in Peru and The Discovery Channels gonna film it!
Joey: I knew that! (They all look at him) I sooo didnt know that, but you should see your faces.
Joey: (speaking with his mouth full, enjoying his sandwich) What did they say?
Ross: No, I mean its okay, I mean, theyre-theyre my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.
MONICA: MEG was good for me but I dumped her. Ya know, my motto is get out before they go down.
Phoebe: Don't feel bad. You know they used to like you a lot. But then you got promoted, and, you know, now you're like "Mr. Boss Man". You know, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing, "Boss Man Bing".
(Monica enters, and they throw the gifts behind them.)
Rachel: Nice to meet you. (They shake hands.)
Ross: Hey, both you guys should be up there with me. I mean, you two are-are my I mean, Im lucky to have just one good (They all start getting emotional.)
Phoebe: Well then youd better hurry! The Angelica! Go! Go! (Bangs on the roof again and off they go.)
Phoebe: Thanks! Okay. (They sit down.)
Phoebe: Hey, maybe they meant to write, Quiet, bitch.
Monica: Okay! (She takes her present for him and they move over to sit on the couch.)
Rachel: Yeah, they were very y'know wrestley. But, I guess that's normal?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's future house. They enter the living room with the realtor and Joey.]
(They all try and shake hands at once. They end up criss-crossing theyre arms to shake each others hand, and Ross says )
Chandler: Oh yeah, thats very nice. Plus, yknow they were free and theyre too small.
Rachel: I dont know why they didnt just tell us.
(They shake hands, he walks out and shuts the door, then seems to change his mind, moves to open the door, than changes his mind again and leans over the door. Just then, Rachel opens the door)
Monica: I guess theyre back from their date.
Rachel: Yknow, bonus night. Yknow, when two people break up but they get back together for just one night.
Monica: Do you think they recognize each other from in there?
(She finishes cutting them up and they all cheer.)
(They look at each other and smile for a while.)
(They all cheer and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe join in for a group hug. Joey also joins, but he stands back a bit, because he is all sticky of the food on him)
Ross: Hmm. (They head off to the gift shop.)
Monica: (pleasantly surprised) Ping pong? (to Chandler) Honey, they have ping pong! Let's play!
[Time lapse. They are now in Monica's bedroom, on the bed.]
Joey: No! I want an award I did win! But nobodys giving me any of those! PlusHey Rach, if-if I put it up there (Points to the TV) right? When people come over theyll see it and theyll think I won it.
Joey and Chandler: Shut-out!! (They both start heading for their rooms.)
Monica: Oh my God! I have nothing left to teach you! (they hug)
Mrs. Tribbiani: Why did you have to fill your father's head with all that garbage about making things right? Things were fine the way they were! There's chicken in there, put it away. For God's sake, Joey, really. (She gives the sofabed a tiny push and it folds away)
Phoebe: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! Hey!!! (they all stop fighting, Chandler continues to dance.) Look what youre doing to Chandler!! (Chandler finally stops) (to Ross and Rachel) Yeah, look, we know this is really, really hard for you guys. Okay? (Ross starts to leave) You dont, all right you dont have to love each other, okay? You dont, you dont even have to like each other much right now. But please, you have to figure out a way to be around each other.
Ross: now when they found the remains of the Mesozoic Mastodon they discovered what appeared to be the remains of a Paleozoic Amphibian in its jaws! How did it get there?!
Chandler: Then it's okaaay! (They kiss.)
Phoebe: Wait! But Ross if they dont get along then you should smooth things over. Make them be friends.
(They both laugh as Ross heads back to the bathroom.)
Chandler: Another cheesecake came! They delivered it to the wrong address again!
Rachel: So does it really hurt as bad as they say?
(They run for Phoebe's purse, Phoebe gets there first and takes the cell. Monica tries to take it away from her)
Chandler: Yeah, why not. (They shake hands) So I told her.
Joey: (starting to cry) I gotta go check something over here. (He walks away so that they cant see him cry.)
(They go over to the counter and Chandler moves closer to Phoebe.)
(They start kissing and turn around so that Chandler is facing the door. And Chandler sees Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey walk in and quickly ends the kiss with Monica.)
Monica: Ready? (They grab a hold of each other's necks.) Wrestle! (They start wrestling.)
[Flashback to 716 - TOW The Truth About London] [Scene: London, Chandler's hotel room. He was getting ready for bed when Monica pays him a visit and they started talking]
Monica: Yeah, apparently, theyre pretty good seats.
Joey and Chandler: We already knew that! (they hug)
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
The Guys: We will. (they dont move)
Chandler: I got good. I played this game all day and now I rule at it! They should change the name of it to Ms. Chandler. (Pause) Although I-I hope they dont.
(Sergei insults Mischa, and they get into a huge fight, in Russian.)
All: Wow!! (they all recoil in shock and horror)
Chandler: Guys? (They ignore him.) Ive got something important to tell ya. (Still nothing so he walks over and stands in front of the TV.) Guys? (They lean over to try and watch the TV, Chandler mimics them.) Guys?! (Pause) Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
Rachel: (turns around) Mark? Oh my God! (puts the box on the chair and they hug each other)
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Monica: Theyre kissing lets just go around them.
Chandler: Dude, you have got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up.
(They both kiss again and fall onto the bed.)
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
(They all cheer and hug again, but Joey's eating the food off his shirt)
Joey: Oh, all blank, and no blank, makes blank a blank blank. Oh no-no-no, no, the end when Jack almost kills them all with that blank, but then at last second they get away. Aww!
Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?
Rachel: Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! (They both just stare at her.) Okay, dont believe me, I know Im rightdo you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there including Janice, theyre watching Happy Days.]
Eric: I dont think they have a name for it. Its just I get nervous; I start sweating like crazy.
(They start towards the door but are stopped when Mr. Zelner enters.)
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.