words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Chandler and Monica enter. Oh, and Joey is wearing a FDNY T-shirt to make this the first nod to the tragedy that Friends have made.]
Rachel: (to the cowgirl) And you are so in style right now. Yknow, I work at Ralph Lauren and the whole fall line has got this like equestrian theme going on. I dont suppose you saw the cover of British Vogue, but
Rachel: (To Monica) Oh, you did this to him?
Joey: Are you kiddin? Phoebe lived on the street. Okay? Plus, shes got this crazy temper. SheShes not standing right behind me is she?
Joey: Will you relax?! What are you taking this so seriously for? It doesnt matter.
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Rachel: Okay, Im just gonna write this out to cash.
Monica: Wait-wait!! Okay, stop it! Stop it! Stop! (Breaks it up.) Now listen, no ones gonna fight in this apartment.
Rachel: Oh Gunther! You brought candy! Thank you so much for picking this up! You are so sweet.
Boy in the Cape: This isnt fair.
Monica: (To Chandler) Look honey, you dont have to do this, okay? Its the strength you have inside that means the most to me. Youre loyal, youre honest, and you have integrity! Thats the kind of strength that I want in the man that I love!
Ursula: I dont know. He said he did all this stuff and then I said I did it too and he got so excited, it was really fun.
Chandler: Nope! I can do this all day.
Ross: Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Monas standing right over there. (Looks behind him.) Oh God, shes talking to Joey! You gotta let me win!
Phoebe: Okay I cant let you do this! Shes lying to you.
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Phoebe: Oh, I almost dont want to show this. (Hands it to him.) Just remember Im a minute younger.
Chandler: Okay. 1 2 3Go! (Once again hes at a stalemate, but this time hes in pain.) (Pause) Im gonna kill myself!
Tag: Okay! Feel free to look, but Im telling you those contracts are not on this desk.
Dr. Miller: 1 2 (She flinches on 2 this time.)
Phoebe: But... but... but we're giving you this!
Monica: What the hell is this? (holding up the check)
Chandler: No, no! We made this decision together.
Ross: You can't go, I mean you're the glue that holds this group together!
Julie: Yeah, we are going to share every moment of this with you. And I think were gonna have some fun.
Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's... it's... y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into showbusiness.
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
JOEY: Let me get this straight. He got you to beg to sleep with him, he got you to say he never has to call you again, and he got you thinking this was a great idea.
Joey: Check out the rack on this chick! (Turns around to point it out to Ross and finds that Ross is glaring at him. So he quickly puts his binoculars to his eyes and starts looking for the comet.)
Ross: So this is an annual thing?
Ross: Oh no, you-you don't understand. Ugh, this is so silly. Umm, this is all because of a sandwich.
Rachel: Oh, God. This is bad. This is so bad.
Phoebe: It's just my knitting that's all! (A dog sticks its head out of Phoebe's bag. Everyone looks puzzled.) Yes! I knit this. I'm very good.
Joey: (voice strained) Couldn't have this conversation down at the truck huh?
Rachel: (spinning the bottle) So, Spin the Bottle works like this: I spin the bottle, it lands on Gunther, so I would have to kiss Gunther. (She crawls over to where Gunther is sitting and sees the look of anticipation on Gunthers face and decides not to kiss him.) All right. Who wants to go first?
Ross: I am this close to tugging on my testicles again.
Joey: All right, heres a list of things for you to do today. Man, this going to be so great! Thank you so much! All right, I got to go to work Im delivering twins today, but only one of them is mine! (Exits.)
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
Ross: C'mon! This looks good!
Joey: (interrupting her) Can you tell me how this happened?
Phoebe: (to Ross) This place is awesome!
Rachel: Ah, this place is great!
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Monica: Hey, this afternoon you said you'd be supportive...
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching football, and its actually the right game Green Bay at Detroit (although not this years), as Monica is getting everything ready.]
Ross: You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired.
Rachel: Oh, okay. Uhh, well lets see. (Grabs his hand.) Youre aboutwell uh, this one is large. And this one(Grabs the other hand.)
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Girl: Wow, this place looks great.
Ross: I can't believe this is happening.
Rachel: No Mon, you want to put them in concentric circles. I want to do this.
Erica: I can't believe this.
Richard: Okay, okay, one things changed. But we still want different things and we know how this is gonna end.
Phoebe: Rachel, its okay. You dont have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa.
Monica: This is huge!
Joey: Really?! I like your natural color. Come on man, its a great part. Look, check it out. Im the lead guys best friend and I wait for him in this bar and save his seat. Listen-listen. Im sorry, that seats saved.
Ross: Oh well thats great, so I guess this is ah, this is good bye then. Huh? (picks a pad up off Rachels desk and tosses it into his box) Good bye.
Phoebe: Hey you guys wait! Guys! (Catches up to them.) This place is so much better than London! Okay? This lady dressed like Cleopatra gave me a coupon, 99 cent steak and lobster dinner. Huh!
Rachel: Oh you guys thanks for doing this.
Chandler: I know this is really hard and we're really sorry.
Phoebe: Yeah, but so is this.
Chandler: How can I not be upset? Okay? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out that she wanted you first!
Joey: Whoa, whoa, no, no, I-Im not playing with this guy, now.
Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client... Steve? (pause) Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef.
Phoebe: My massage client, Arthur? His daughter called and said that some guy that worked for me gave him a really weird massage this afternoon.
Ross: So, I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and-and-and live forever as a machine.
Chandler: Hey, look at this! (Holding a newspaper) Theyre lighting the big Christmas tree tonight.
Gene: You put this in your coffee.
Monica: You should feel great about yourself! You're doing this amazing independence thing!
Rachel: Ooh, this is soo sweet, Joey our little twinkle-toes.
Phoebe: Oh. (goes and answers the door and there is this huge black delievery guy.)
Ross: C'mon you guys, this is really important to us.
Rachel: Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I dont get.
Monica: Oh my God, this man is gonna get naked in my apartment!
Chandler: Okay, okay. You have to help us decide whose joke this is.
Monica: No, you dont want this. I want to have your grandmothers cookie recipe.
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
Russell: Yes, this Russell, Rosss divorce lawyer, just tell him that since I havent heard from him, I assume hes decided to give the marriage a try.
David: Alright, but after this I want to see you outside. If the rain stops.
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
Joey: All right, Im here, lets ahh, get this over with.
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Monica: What? When was this?
Ross: Perhaps I can persuade you. What if you can give your son this (Takes a huge egg out of his back) genuine pterodactyl egg (whispers) replica.
Chandler: Seriously, where did this happen?
Phoebe: Ok, you can do this. It's just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed.
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
Joey: Oh no, no, no, let your dad get this.
Monica: This is the most special day of our lives.
Ross: Oh, well, uh, this is gonna sound kinda silly, but, do you remember my roommate Chandler Bing?
Ross: Fine! Fine! But this break-up was not all my fault, and she, she says here, (reading from the letter) If you accept full responsibility... (to Chandler and Joey) Full responsibility! ...I can begin to trust you again. Does that seem like something you can do. (yells at Joey) Does it?!!
EDDIE: Ah, just some basic dehydrating of a few fruits and vegetables. MAN ALIVE this thing's fantastic!
Jason: (to Phoebe) I-I cant believe this! You-youve slept with him?!
Chandler: All right, we havent had sex yet. Okay, whats the big deal? Yknow? This is special, and I want our love to grow until we move on to the next level.
Phoebe: Listen to this! My reading was wrong, Im not going die!
Phoebe: Wow, this is a lot!
Mike: (looking around the room) This is... great...
PHOEBE: I don't know how to say this, but I think when your wife's spirit left her body, it um, kind of stuck around in me.
[What follows is the final set of flashbacks that feature a whole lot of lovin between Chandler and Joey. Theres no words, just hugs and even the kiss from The One With The Monkey. All of this is set to the song, Youve Really Got a Hold on Me!]
Joey: I didnt tell him. I didnt know if you were telling people. This is back when I thought Kash was still people.
Rachel: You know what, I can't do this. I don't know which one of you guys to pick.
Monica: Oh man! If I had known I was coming to this party I never would have gotten married!
RACHEL: Ok, look you guys, I really don't want to get into this right now. I think it'll just make everyone uncomfortable.
Rachel: (laughing) Yeah, and-and you better make sure he tips you this time.
Monica: If only there were a smaller one to clean this one!
Ross: uhu uhu, check this out. (Chandler sits down and looks at laptop screen)
Monica: So, you're ready to do this?
Mr. Tribbiani: Just for a coupla days. I got a job midtown. I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. (Sees Roger) I don't know this one.
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
Mike: Well, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but, we could not let the box of rats ruin our lives.
Ross: There is no way I am letting you drive this car! So why dont you just hand over the keys?
Phoebe: Why, do I have a feeling thats not as happy as it sounds? (Joey points out one going into the chipper to her, as this haunty, demonic music starts to play in the background) No! Nooooo!!! (she winces in horror and hides her face against Joeys shoulder, as she sees the tree spit out from the chipper.)
CAROLINE: I think it's great you guys are doing this.
CHANDLER: It's like this, me, no jokes.
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Rachel: Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore. I mean you couldn't ask for a more romantic setting. This could be the simple wedding you've always wanted!
Phoebe: Yea. Can I please, please, please talk to one of the best men? This is going to be the last time I promise.
Chandler: Damn! (stands up) The tailpipes not hot enough to light this!