words in movies
[Scene: Rosss Wedding, continued from last season, the Minister is about to marry Ross and Emily.]
Minister: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. (Time lapse) Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross...
Rachel: (To the woman sitting in front of her) He-he said Rachel, right? Do you think I should go up there?
Minister: Ross and Emily have made their declarations and it gives me great pleasure to declare them husband and wife.
(He goes to kiss her, but she isnt very receptive of the kiss. She keeps avoiding him, until Ross finally gets to kiss her on her cheek.)
Mrs. Geller: (To Mr. Geller) This is worse than when he married the lesbian.
(The band starts to play, and the recessional starts. Ross tries to take Emilys hand, but she snatches it away from him.)
(Ross and Emily make it to the lobby.)
Emily: (Yelling from inside the bathroom) Youve spoiled everything! Its like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?!
Joey: (To the gang) Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get cake right?
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Mr. Geller: Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross?
Ross: Thats true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else joins him.)
Phoebe: Yeah, Ive discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh womens names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own.
(Cut to Chandler and Monica at the buffet table.)
Chandler: Oh wow, I hope you dont take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet up tonight and, ugh, Im just kinda worried about what it might do to our friendship.
(He throws down his plate and runs to the wine cellar, Monica is about to follow him but is intercepted by Rachel.)
Monica: Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box! (Tries to leave, but is stopped by Rachel.)
Rachel: Whoa, wait, listen, I think Im just gonna talk to Ross about what he think it meant.
(Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller.)
Mr. Geller: Oh yeah, well who serves steak when theres no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this?
(Cut to Monica and Chandler, Monica is running up to him.)
Monica: Where were you? We were supposed to meet in the wine cellar?
(Joey walks up to them.)
(Cut to Rachel and Ross.)
Rachel: (laughs) Yknow when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
(They all start laughing, and quickly stop when they realize what she just said and run over to the bathroom.)
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? Im coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
[Scene: London Marriott, Monica and Chandler are walking to her room.]
(She laughs and opens the door to reveal Rachel sitting on the bed.)
Rachel: Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! (They both just stare at her.) Okay, dont believe me, I know Im rightdo you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?
Chandler: Yes, we do. But, we have to change first.
Monica: Yes, I want to change. And why-why dont you go down and get us a table?
Rachel: Hello? Oh, Pheebs! (To them) Its Phoebe!
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, yknow what, lets look at this objectively all right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then
Chandler: (To Monica) Hey, listen, why dont we go change in my room?
(Cut to Chandlers room, he opens the door slowly to see if Joey is there and after seeing that he isnt, ushers Monica into the room, closes the door, and the security bar.)
(They both start to frantically rip each others clothes off, but are interrupted when Joey tries to open the door.)
Chandler: Well, I suppose Id have to say you!! But, what if were watching a movie in here?
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, Chandler and Monica are still looking for a place to do the deed.]
(They both run to rip the covers off the bed, but are interrupted by Ross.)
Ross: No! For all I know, shes trying to find me but couldnt because I kept moving around. No, from now on, Im staying in one place. (He sits down on the bed.) Right here.
Ross: Thanks guys! (They both sit down on either side of him.) I really appreciate this, yknow, but you dont have to rub my butt.
Chandler: We have to leave for New York in an hour.
(They both try to slowly extricate themselves from Ross, but theres a knock on the door that awakens him.)
Ross: Em-Emily? (Looking around for her.) Em-Emily? (He runs to the door.) Emily! (He opens the door to reveal the Walthams standing outside.)
Mr. Waltham: Shes in hiding. Shes utterly humiliated. She doesnt want to see you ever again.
Ross: Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that Im gonna be at that airport and I hope that shell be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachels name, but it didnt mean anything, Okay? Shes-shes just a friend and thats all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) Thats all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I cant imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that youll tell her that.
Mr. Waltham: All right, Ill tell her. (To his wife) Come on bugger face!
Monica: Yknow, maybe its best that we never got to do it again.
Monica: Im gonna go to the bathroom, maybe Ill see you there in a bit?
(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is startled to see Joey sitting in Monicas seat.)
Chandler: Okay man. (Chandler starts to get up.)
Phoebe: (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had sex! (Theyre shocked.)
Joey: Why would you need to say hi to them, youve been feeding them for four days?
(She grabs her bag and leaves, Joey moves a little quicker to his apartment, leaving Monica and Chandler alone.)
Monica: Right. Umm, listen since were-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Rosss mother
Monica: Well, an-anyway, I justthat night meant a lot to me, I guess Im just trying to say thanks.
Chandler: Oh. Yknow, that night meant a lot to me too, and it wasnt because I was in a bad place or anything, it just meant a lot to me cause, youre really hot! Is that okay?
(After he closes the door, Monica starts to follow him, but thinks better of it and stops.)
[Scene: An airport in London, Ross is waiting for Emily to show up to go on their honeymoon and sees Rachel walking past.]
Rachel: So umm, what time are you supposed to leave?
Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) This is the last call for Flight 1066 to Athens. The last call.
Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) All ticketed passengers for Flight 1066 to Athens should now be on board.
Ross: Come on! (They go to the jetway, Ross hands the tickets to the gate agent.) Here.
Ross: You tell them to wait!
Ross: Oh no-no-no! Oh-no! (Emily starts to run out and Ross chases her.) No! No! Emily!
[Scene: Flight 1066 to Athens, Rachel is ordering a drink for Ross and herself.]
Rachel: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to Rosss seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey, look at that, the airports moving. (Realizes that thats not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that were moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.
Rachel: I just want you to know.. Last night.. I'll never forget it.
Phoebe: Oh please, somebody tell me I dont have to go to work today!
[cut to later]
Cynthia: I can't believe you thought that you were going to video tape us having sex on the first date! (She storms away and Rachel enters to confront Joey.)
Phoebe: Well tell that to them. Oh! You cant, their dead.
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are there waiting for Chandler's cyberchick to arrive]
Phoebe: I dont know, they both want to live in a house of cheese! I dont know how you fight that.
Rachel: Well, I have to say that earns tutu pieces of candy.
Joey: Interesting. all right I'll go out with her again and try to get past it (reaches for the chips) OH SALT BLOATY!
MONICA: That'll teach you to lick my muffin.
MONICA: That's good, have a seat. Um, the doctor says it's gotta be a needle. You're just gonna have to be brave, ok? Can you do that for me?
(Monica walks in, starts to go out on the balcony.)
Chandler: Well, its good that you finally have a place to do that.
Joey: Hey, uhh, I need to talk to you.
Monica: Of course! (She mouths, "I have no idea," to the rest of the gang.)
EDDIE: Ok, then I want to hear you say it, I, I want to hear you say you want me out.
Phoebe: Great! Okay, if youll just excuse me. (To the guy) So, did you hear something you liked?
ROSS: Fine, OK! Heat, heat, heat, and I'm the obsessive one. [goes to the radiator and starts turning the knob] OK, this way is on, so this is. . . [breaks off the knob] off.
Mike: I haven't been home in a couple of days and I need to get some more clothes.
Leslie: Well, I y'know, I was just, umm, I was just thinking and hoping, that umm, maybe youd want to get back together?
Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial dont seem to think its that bad.
Monica: Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?
Chandler: Monica, could you excuse us for a second? I need to talk to the girl with the flowers.
Phoebe: (coming in from the bathroom) Oh, good, good, you guys are here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?!
Rachel: (looks at Monica) (to him) Do you want my pickle?
Chandler: You have to give 'em something, you know. Okay, now that was Gerston, Santos, and who's the guy with the moustache?
Chandler: Ill look forward to your call. (Walks away.)
Ross: (to Chandler) Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all?
RACHEL: What happened to uh, MEG.?
Ross: I see. So what do you propose to do?
Rachel: Phoebe, your in pain, would you just go to the dentist, just go.
Chandler: (To Ross) I dont care, she slept with me.
Rachel: But y'know, I never really had anything to worry about. Ross was never very good at the flirting thing.
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what youre thinking, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and youre right, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Airline Employee: Sir! Im afraid Im gonna have to ask you to leave.
Phoebe: Hey, I never got to hear who you guys would pick to be your girlfriend.
Phoebe: Cups and ice? Ooh, I get to be in charge of cups and ice? (Thinks of something) All right. Fine, okay, I will be in charge of cups and ice!
Phoebe: I am sorry. I am, but this wedding is just really important to me.
Chandler: I got something for her. (Joey picks up the package, shakes it next to his ear, can't hear anything, switches ears, shakes it again.) It's a book!
Chandler: (to Monica) Actually hes the smallest person in the world.
Rachel: Chandler, arent you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you dont give me that number then Im going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.
Phoebe: But umm, I mean, did you talk to them about, y'know
ROSS: Well then that's it. And if George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them. Look, if my parents didn't want me to marry you, no way that would have stopped me. Look, this is your wedding. Do it.
Monica: Hey, honey, my test is down the hall, are you sure you're going to be ok?
Ross: No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't've, uh, asked you to start off with a monkey. I should've started you off with like a pen or a pencil.
MNCA: [to Ross] Listen, I... I don't think this is the best time.
Rachel: (coming over to Ross, who is just getting up) Are you okay?
Ross: That ring? When my grandmother first came to this country, that ring and the clothes on her back were all she had with her.
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
[cut to Ross and Monica.]
Assistant: Mississippi? I said count to five'!
Joey: (entering) Hey, Chandler, you got a minute? I-I really need to talk to you.
[cut to Chandler, Joey, and Margha.]
Monica: Please, guys, we have to talk.
JOEY: Yeah. Uh, oh, OH, the best part, c'mon. [leads them to the bathroom, gestures towards toilet, everyone stares, uncomprehending] Heh?
Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people.
[Scene: The airport, Ross is about to walk off of the plane with Julie.]
(Ross and Chandler move closer to her and she starts laughing again.)
Chandler: I think I know what you mean though...the lamp is the hotel's, but the bulbs (goes to take the bulb)...oh, you already got that.
Rachel: Ohh, its gonna be so great! Im gonna get to help decide what we sell, Im gonna have an office with walls and everything. (turns to Monica) Im gonna have walls!
Chandler (to Rachel): What am I gonna do now?
Ross: Look, weve been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. (Pause) Its just if-if we got together again and it didnt work out I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything(Starts to cry.) Oh thats now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I were doing really, were doing really well right now.
Ross: And you know I wanted to ask Charlie out since the day I met her.
[Scene: The hallway of Monica's building. Phoebe and Rachel are trying to find the cat's owner.]
Chandler: (to Margha) Hi.
Joey: Its hard, y'know, his huddle is closer to Dutch girl.
MONICA: My brother, the PhD would like to know if there's any way to treat this orally.
Rachel: What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions.
Gunther: (To the guy) Get out!
Rachel: Oh my God, what happened? (points to the cast on Janice's wrist)
Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it, before someone gets really hurt! (they stop and Phoebe gets David's jacket and gives it to him) Here David, you should just go.
Rachel: Oh, its okay. (starts to leave)
Passenger #1: I have to get off this plane, okay? Her friend has a feeling something's wrong with the left Philange.
PHOEBE: [singing] There'll be times when you get older when you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you. . . But don't. Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody That's another thing that you don't wanna do.
Phoebe: IWe gotta get Monica. (She starts to leave.)
MONICA: Stop sending food to our apartment.
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
Ross: That only is not funny, it's physically impossible! Ok? Depending on the species I'd have to have a six foot long... (pause) It's not funny!!
Chandler: He could be alone. This morning I heard him do push-ups, and then talk to his triceps.
Phoebe: No! Think about it, its a taxi that people take when they need to relax, its
Phoebe: Oh, I almost dont want to show this. (Hands it to him.) Just remember Im a minute younger.
Ross: Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way (he turns her hand upside down) which uh, which was misleading. Well Im (He goes at sits down at his new table and the kids stare at him.) Hello.
(Ross comes out of character to glare into the distance.)
Phoebe: (picking up her bag) All right, so promise you're gonna wait for her to call you?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, there is a beeping noise coming from the living room and Phoebe sleepily goes to investigate.]
MONICA: Hey, I've come to terms with it, you have to too.
Monica: (entering from her room) Hey, guess what I'm doing this weekend! I'm going to this culinary fair in New Jersey.
(Cut to inside Central Perk where Rachel is helping Phoebe. Chandler and Monica enter.)
(Ross pauses and looks at him, Joey motions for him to hurry up.)
Chandler: All right, so who do you got it narrowed down to?
Ross: That's funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did, uh, send our dog off to live on a farm.
Rachel: Well, let's see... uh... I know that she has a meeting with her lawyer and then she has to make a very big poop. Why?
Rachel: You see, now, I would date this girl. Shes cute, shes outdoorsy, you know, and she knows how to build a fire. I mean, thats got to come in handy
Monica: (To Ross) Cassie needs to stay at your place.
Rachel: (to Chandler) Eh, do you believe that?
Chandler: (To Monica) Now all you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay? Then we can put you in bed, okay? Just smile and dont talk to anyone.
Dana: Im sorry Chandler, yknow you are such a sweet guy and I, I dont want to hurt you. Oh, I wish there was something I can do to make you feel better.