words in movies
Chandler: Pheebs you didnt have to get us anything for our wedding you already sang
Phoebe: I didnt know where to put it so I just left it here for now.
Monica: All right. (He goes to push it and it doesnt move.)
Ross: Hey! Oh, Im so glad you guys are here. Ive been dying to tell someone what happened in the Paleontology department today.
Joey: (To Rachel) Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out?
Ross: No, I get to teach one of his advanced classes! (Pause) Why didnt I get head of the department? (Goes and gets some coffee.)
Rachel: Yeah! Oh, and then afterwards you can take her to the Four Seasons for drinks. Or you go downtown and listen to some jazz. Or dancingOh! Take her dancing!
Joey: You sure are naming a lot of ways to postpone sex, Ill tell ya
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. Im not gonna be able to do that for so long, and its so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Rachel: What?! Joey, you dont want to go on a date with a pregnant lady.
Chandler: Why do you want to play this game so bad?
Monica: Okay. Phoebe thats it. Come on, get outout of the chair. Get out! (She goes to move Phoebe, but Phoebe goes limp and Monica cant move her.) Oh come Phoebe!
Rachel: Joey? Could you get that? (There is no answer and she goes and opens the door to Joey.) What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room?
Joey: And, a brownie! (Hands her a bag with the brownie in it.) Well, half a brownie. Actually, its just bag. Its been a long walk from the flower shop and I was startin to feel faint so
Rachel: Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like Im going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and Im wearing underwear that goes up to about (She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts) there.
Joey: Hey come on now, this is a real date. Uh, so nice place you got here. Foosball, huh? Pizza box. Oh, a subscription to Playboy, my kind of woman.
Joey: I would like to meet him. He sounds like a stand up guy.
Joey: Oh yeah, it must be tough to keep your hands of him, huh?
Joey: No-no-no-no, hes not! No! Why are you trying to ruin the game? Come on!
Ross: which brings us back, of course, to Greelys theory of dominance. (The bell rings.) Okay, that-thats all for today. Oh, uh does anyone know where the Freeman building is?
Ross: What?! That-thats all the way cross town, Im supposed to teach a graduate seminar there in ten minutes.
(Ross grabs his things and runs to the door only to be blocked by his exiting students.)
Ross: Hello. (He throws his jacket towards the coat rack and misses.) Im sorry Im a little late. Ah(Checks his watch)Whoa! A lot late. Let me start by uh, by introducing myself, I am Professor Geller. (The bell rings.) So to sum up, Im Professor Geller. Good job today.
Rachel: Wow! This is shaping up to be a pretty good dateOh, I almost forgot. I didnt pay you the rent check.
Rachel: Okay. Wow! So I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date. So do you have any moves?
Joey: Oh alright. Umm, well, okay, I usually start by having a bottle of wine sent to my table from a fan.
Joey: Well it does when you combine it with, "This is so embarrassing, I just want to have a normal life!"
Joey: Oh okay, how about this one. I was gonna wait until the end of the night to kiss you, but youre so beautiful I dont think I can.
Rachel: And so were-were you close to your parents?
Joey: I dont know. I guess theres just always been this distance yknowI mean we both try to pretend its not there, but it is.
Rachel: Thank you! And now if youll excuse me, I have to go to the rest room.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is entering to find Chandler playing Ms. Pac-Man.]
Chandler: You are not going to believe what I did today!
Chandler: I got good. I played this game all day and now I rule at it! They should change the name of it to Ms. Chandler. (Pause) Although I-I hope they dont.
Monica: Wait a minute, you stayed home all day and played Ms. Pac-Man while I went off to work like some kind of chump?!
Chandler: Uh-huh, and I got all the top ten scores, I erased Phoebe off the board! High five! (Holds up his hand to give Monica a high five, only he cant straighten his fingers.)
Monica: Ah, well if you dont clear this off, you wont be getting one of those from me. But Bens coming over here tomorrow to play this game, this cant be there.
Chandler: Have you talked to him lately?
Chandler: No-no-no, if you unplug it, Ill have nothing to show for my day! It would be like I was at work. (She unplugs it.) No! (And plugs it back in.) Hey look at that! Look at that, its still there! This thing must have some kind of primitive ROM (Read Only Memory, its a memory chip.) Chip in it or something!
Monica: Honey you-you got to beat your scores!
Monica: All right fine. Fine, Ill do it. Ive just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
Joey: Oh come on! Just pick one! Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross if you had to, if you had to, who would you punch?
Joey: Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.
Joey: Yeah, like a moth to a flame, Im telling ya. Okay all right, so now you go.
Rachel: No, I dont want to tell you.
Rachel: All right, I gotta go to bed. Honey, I had such a wonderful time.
Joey: Oh. (She kisses him.) Yeah. (She goes into her room.) Me to. (He then starts to freak out.)
Rachel: you were 50 minutes late to the class, what did you crawl there?!
Rachel: Well youre not gonna be able to keep doing this.
Ross: Well I have to. Okay? If I dont, theyll take the class away from me. And I already put it in my family newsletter.
Ross: Besides, I-I think I figured out a much faster route, Im sure I can make it this time. I just I just cant be afraid to get a little bit hit by cars. (He goes to the bathroom as Joey enters.)
Joey: Have you ever tried to sit through Citizen Kane?
Joey: Yeah well thats because uh I stayed in my room. Yeah, you dont want to look in my hamper.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
Ross: Yeah!!!! Yes, I made it! Im on time! (Grabs a bottle of water from a student, takes a drink, and splashes some on his face like the marathon runners do.) Okay, why dont we all uh, (Exhales loudly) open our books to page 23. Where (Exhales again) Where you will see a uh a bunch of uh red spots. Okay, (Closes his book.) umm, why dont, why dont you all start to read, while I(Passes out and collapses.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, now its Phoebes turn to erase Chandler from the board.]
Chandler: One more score to go! You can do it! (Touches her shoulder.)
(At this point a stream of obscenities burst forth from Phoebes mouth just in time for Ben and Ross to enter and hear most of it, and in slow motion Ross tries to shield his innocent son from Phoebes vulgarity.)
Joey: Hey, did you get to the part where theyre trapped in the car and Cujos throwin himself at the windshield?
Rachel: No! No! Seriously, whats wrong with the dog?! Wait a minute, what are you doing home so early? What happened to your date?
Rachel: Oh. Do you want to watch the rest of the movie with me?
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
Rachel: Oh my God .Whats he gonna do now? I cant watch! (Drags Joey closer to her and cowers into his chest.) Oh. Seriously, how can you watch this? Arent you scared?
[Scene: N.Y.U, Rosss new class, this time hes actually about to do a lecture.]
Ross: So is everybody here? I got here a little early myself. Let us begin. Now, the hydrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations. (He moves to the map and we see why he made it to class on time, hes wearing in-line skates and hasnt taken them off.) Here. (Points to the map, somewhere in the Middle East, then spins on the skates and points to the map.) Here. (China.) Now as for the hydrosaurs
(He tries to move in front of the class, only goes out of control and rolls into the hall, catching himself on the doorway with his pointer. He then pulls himself back into the room with the pointer, only he jams one end of it between the door frame and the door and breaks the pointer in half.)
Ross: The guy you gave your number to.
Monica: (To Chandler) What room should we see next?
Chandler: (To Ross) Okay, you get her in here. (To Joey) You bolt the door. Ill be in the closet.
Phoebe: Rachel? Patrick is really rich. (To Patrick) Give her some money.
Joey: (to Chandler) Bert! Bert! Bert! Bert!
Phoebe Sr: (on phone) Ah, oh, hang on a second. (to Phoebe) Come in, come in. (on phone) All right, so think about it, and call me back. (hangs up)
Ross: Does it? Does it? Yeah, I wanted to give that whole Does it? part just another glance.
CHANDLER: You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?
Ross: Uh, yeah, you sure you want to after what happened at their 20th?
Phoebe: (to the Charity guy) We're back!
[Phoebe walks from the living room to the kitchen and talks quietly to Rachel.]
Joey: Ha-ha, very funnyLook! I dont know what to do! I really want you guys to get along. Just please come to the movie with us. I mean you owe me!
Phoebe: (thinking to herself) Chandlers knees. Chandlers ankles. Chandlers ankle hair. (notices the clock) Oh no. (to Rick) Okay, youre all set.
Ross: Well, of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming, thats not enough. Look, I studying kara-tay for a long time, and theres a concept you should really be familiar with. Its what the Japanese call (he holds two fingers up to his temple, and he does this every time he says this word) unagi.
Monica: We need to talk to you about something.
Rachel: So whos idea was it to put everybody in the diner on skates?
Dr. Long: Actually, I think youre ready to go to the delivery room.
[Scene: The Cooking Class, Joey is trying to cook as the teacher walks over to him.]
Monica: (looking out the peephole) Ohh, shes looking down the hall. Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you cant see people through that little hole, can you? (Goes back to the door.) Hello!
Julie: Yeah, we are going to share every moment of this with you. And I think were gonna have some fun.
Monica: Well, we thought we would all go to a picnic (Phoebe gasps), in Central Park!
(The doctor hands the boy to the nurse, and she walks over to another part of the room with him.)
Joey: (scores) Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! Thats like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! (Goes over to the fridge and starts opening and closing the door rapidly.) $500 that is a loooot of electricity! (By the way, theres nothing in the fridge.) Whoo-ho-ho! (Notices the sparseness of the fridge.) I gotta buy some food.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Chandler is preparing to dump Janice again.]
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
MONICA: [Opens the door] I need to borrow a hundred bucks.
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's justI want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)
Chandler: No you dont! No, no, no, I say you have to give your divorce another chance.
(Phoebe approaches as they almost get to their room.)
Monica: Oh, Chandler, that's sweet. But you don't have to do everything Doctor Phil tells you to do.
Ross: Did I do something to you?
Ross: Dude, I wanted him to guess.
Ross: (deadpan) Well, Im going to take off. (To Chandler) Congratulations man.
Rachel: Phoebe, you have to calm down.
Chandler: Damn those robots, theyre supposed to be our faithful servants!
Rachel: (To Joey) No need!! Problem solved, we are powering through (At which point she grabs his hand and pulls him back to their apartment).
Chandler: Oh thats right. Its your first day! So are you psyched to fight fake crime with your robot sidekick?
Joey: Check out the rack on this chick! (Turns around to point it out to Ross and finds that Ross is glaring at him. So he quickly puts his binoculars to his eyes and starts looking for the comet.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is relating his recent conversation with Emily to the gang.]
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
Ross: (to Rachel) Uh, how long until they announce the numbers, Mommy?
Chandler: And yet, believable. So I decided not to fire her again until I can be assured that she will be no threat to herself, or others.
Rachel: Ill be watching TV if anybody needs me. (exits to her room)
Ross: (to Joey) HEY!
Rachel: Alright, Emma is napping... (then to Ross) what happened to your shirt?
[Cut to the hall]
Monica: Its okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know, but... By the way I can still see it.
Phoebe: Good. Oh oh! Roger's having a dinner thing and he wanted me to invite you guys.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Janice is being moved to the delivery room and is screaming in pain.]
[cut to Monica and Chandler]
[cut to Monica and Chandler]
[cut to the hall]
PHOEBE: No because I chickened out the last time when I tried to meet him. So I mean coincidences? I don't think so.
[cut to the hall]
[cut to the hall]
Chandler: No! No! I dont want him to know were yet! Im not sure Im ready for that. And besides hes not gonna be too happy to see me either.
[cut to hall]
[cut to Monica and Chandler]
[cut to Monica and Chandler]
Rachel: Oh my God! Im gonna have to find another minister.
Rachel: ...the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much youve grown. Y'know? I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater. Ooh, I just wish we hadnt lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
Monica: Yeah, they do seem to feel pretty bad.
Joey: No! No, and I did not ask her to marry me!
Phoebe: All right. Im gonna go to the fertility doctor and um, see if Im ready to have Frank and Alices embryo transferred into my uterus.
Rachel: Well, it would be easier to move just right across the hall. Wait a minute, unless youre thinking about Naked Wednesdays.
Ross: I gave them to Joey.
Rachel: (spinning the bottle) So, Spin the Bottle works like this: I spin the bottle, it lands on Gunther, so I would have to kiss Gunther. (She crawls over to where Gunther is sitting and sees the look of anticipation on Gunthers face and decides not to kiss him.) All right. Who wants to go first?
Ross: I am this close to tugging on my testicles again.
Rachel: I lent them to Ross.
(Phoebe and Rachel go off to the dressing rooms. They enter one and close the curtain.)
Joey: It's really starting to hurt.
Joey: Yknow I dont think you should be talking at all in there! I think youve got to much thinking to do to be talking and making jokes!
Ross: Yeah, we want everyone to be there. As much as I hate to delay your doing weird sex stuff to my little sister.
Joey: In my spare time I uh, read to the blind. And Im also a mento for the kids.(The gang shake their heads.) Yknow a mento, a role model. (Chandler bites his fist to keep from talking.)
Rachel: No, but I was doing my thing and everything was going according to the plan!
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, who's Phoebe with?
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Thats so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? Im sure it would mean a lot to her.
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
RACHEL: Yeah, yeah.� Phoebe and I are going to have so much fun.� And thank you for watching the baby, by the way.
Sonia: Are you looking to meet somebody?
Rachel: (to the receptionist) Hi there!
Phoebe's Assistant: Oh, here comes your 3:00. I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum (walks out, Paolo enters)
Chandler: You know you don't want me to help. You can't have it both ways!
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Oh
Rachel: (To Ross) Great, shoot, what are we gonna do?
Phoebe: Thank God you’re here. Listen to this!
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller talking to Ross.]
Phoebe: (to Ross) This place is awesome!
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
Joey: Yeah. You know why? Cause you came to me first.
Joey: Oh whoa-whoa wait a minute! I have to do it?!
Joey: No dude, you gotta hold your breath until youre ready to answer the question.
Ross: (to Joey): Joey, I'm a little shy.
Chandler: What do you want from me, Ive never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, Im sorry you cant stay, (Rachel is upset about leaving the orgy with the cigarette guy.) but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. (The cigarette guy starts rubbing Chandlers back.) What are you doing? (The guy just nods) All right, listen, Ive got to wake up!
Ross: Well, Ill-Ill be there. I mean I have to wear a costume to all my classes that day anyway so
Chandler: Look, I understand, but I have to put my foot down. Okay? The answer is no.
Janine: Joey? Do you want me to put it all in your room?
Ross: Oh, that'd be great! Okay, but if you do, make sure it seems like you're there to see him, okay, and you're not like doing it as a favour to me.
Ross: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?