words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with her boyfriend Roger, talking to Rachel and Monica.]
Rachel: He's so cute! And he seems to like you so much.
Rachel: Okaaay. (To the guys, on the couch) Any of you guys want anything else?
Mr. Tribbiani: Hey, hey. Good to meet you, Roger.
Mr. Tribbiani: (To Phoebe) What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?
Joey: (Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me? (To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma?
(His dad nods. Cut to later. Joey is chopping mushrooms)
Joey: Sure. So how long you been... (Goes back to chopping)
Mr. Tribbiani: Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the navy yard and show you the big ships?
Mr. Tribbiani: No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy. ...Joe. Y'ever been in love?
Joey: You're one to talk. (Puts the mushrooms in a saucepan)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is lamenting to everyone about hid dad's affair.]
Rachel: I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?
Ross: Alright, alright. We're all adults here, there's only one way to resolve this. Since you saw her boobies, I think, uh, you're gonna have to show her your peepee.
(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset)
Roger: I dunno. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail.
Roger: I don't know. Maybe maybe low self-esteem, maybe maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling, maybe you...
Monica: Wait-wait, go back to that sibling thing.
Roger: Well, I don't know. I mean, it's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage your marriage so that the sibling would feel less of a failure in the eyes of the parents.
Monica: Y'know, all these years, I thought you were on my side. But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better!
Ross: Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good!
(Cut to later. Rachel is in tears)
Rachel: You're right! I mean you're right! It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace, and and the Weebles' Cruise Ship. Oh, which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ronni is talking to Chandler. Joey's dad is not around.]
Ronni: Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.
Mr. Tribbiani: We'll go to a hotel.
Ronni: (Shrugs) We'll go to a hotel.
Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Chandler: C'mon, I'll show you to my room. ...That sounds so weird when it's not followed by "No thanks, it's late."
Joey: I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room!
Joey: Just trying to get comfortable. I can't sleep in my underwear.
Chandler: Are they end to end, or tall like pancakes?
Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...
Chandler: Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?
Chandler: No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married."
Joey: Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him)
(Rachel goes up to the door of their bathroom)
Rachel: Chandler Bing? It's time to see your thing.
Rachel: You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing!
Phoebe: Good. Oh oh! Roger's having a dinner thing and he wanted me to invite you guys.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment, Joey is trying to turn the sofabed back into a sofa. Someone knocks on the door and it rears up at him.]
Mrs. Tribbiani: I came to give you this (Gives him a bag of groceries) and this. (Whacks him round the ear)
Mrs. Tribbiani: Why did you have to fill your father's head with all that garbage about making things right? Things were fine the way they were! There's chicken in there, put it away. For God's sake, Joey, really. (She gives the sofabed a tiny push and it folds away)
Mrs. Tribbiani: Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby.
Joey: Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but... what the hell are you talking about?! I mean, what about you?
Monica: So you talked to your dad, huh.
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
Rachel: Just think, in a couple of years we get to turn into them.
(He leaves. Cut to Monica entering Chandler and Joey's apartment. She sneaks up to the shower door)
(She whips back the curtain to reveal Joey's dad)
Rachel: What about all the women you want to bring home?
Sarah: (approaching with two filled balloons in her hands) Nobody! We put them in here! (Indicates the aforementioned balloons causing both of them to scream in delight and start drinking from the balloons.)
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? Im coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
[cut to later]
Joey: Yeah, what were you trying to get her to do?!
[cut to later]
Joey: (dejected) Yeah okay. (To Chandler) Even though my tax dollars paid for this car.
[cut to later]
JOEY: How can they do this to me?
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Joey: Im just so nervous! Yknow? The callback isnt until tomorrow at five. I feel like my head is going to explode!
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Joey: Friends, family, dog... Thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event. The cold has now spread to my special place... so I'm gonna do the short version of this. Phoebe and Mike are perfect for each other. And I know I speak for every one here... when I wish them a lifetime of happiness. Who has the rings?
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
Monica: Yknow, I really have to tell Rachel, but I We just have to get it over with! Yknow, the next time we see them were just gonna tell them. Okay? Thats it.
[cut to later]
Phoebe: Come on! Let us be guys! Maybe we want to be guys!
[cut to later]
Dr. Green: What, the heart attack or sitting here talking to you?
Rachel: Okay, well you are just gonna have too, okay. Because I already got a Mother and a Father who cannot stay in the same room together, okay, I dont wanna have to have a separate room for you too!! (starts to cry)
[cut to later]
[cut to later]
Paul: Well yeah, it usually, it takes two people to (He taps his index fingers together.)
Monica: Phoebe, do you want to go see a movie after dinner tonight?
(Chandler waits until Jill is looking, then starts to blow a bubble. But instead of blow one, he accidentally spits the gum out of his mouth and hits the wall.)
[cut to later]
Ross: Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys all came in the room.
[Cut to Living Room]
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
[cut to later]
Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock)
[Cut to Living Room]
[Cut to Living Room]
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
[Cut to Living Room]
Joey: What-what are you guys doing here? I thought I told you not to come.
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
Chandler: Y'know what else I can't believe? I had to kiss Phoebe and Rachel every time I left a room, I mean it's too bad they didn't see us having sex.
Joey: Its no big deal, okay? Phoebe and I talked about it. Its just a crush! Its going to go away! (Looks down) Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles! Oh!
RACHEL: [sings] And you're no friend to those with noses.
[cut to later]
[cut to later]
Cheryl: Um, would you like to come in?
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Phoebe: (on the other side of the line, still pretending to be Estelle) Joey, it's Estelle. (Joey's eyes bulge up, he looks afraid)
[cut to later]
Emily: My uncle dragged us there. But, it actually it turned out to be really interesting.
Monica: And thats why, Im not inviting you in for a drink. (starts to leave) Bye.
Amy: H-Hi!!(to Ross) And you are...?
Jill: (entering) I dont want to talk about it.
PHOE: Oh, well, we have to celebrate. You know what we should do? We should do, like, a soap opera theme.
RACHEL: I just can't believe this is happening. I mean, when I was little, everybody's parents were getting divorced. I just figured as a grownup I wouldn't have to worry about this.
Mr. Geller: Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was.
[cut to later]
Rachel: Yeah but, you dont, you dont, you dont want to try to much too fast. Yknow? I mean, you do remember what happened to the little girl that tried to much too fast dont you?
(Rachel and Elizabeth go upstairs. Paul starts for the car, but notices his luggage is still out and decides to take in into the bedroom.)
[cut to later]
(The sitcom begins with its familiar refrain, yet with a Latin lilt. Rachel and Monica do a little dance with their chopsticks, and Phoebe has to grin as Ross joins in the rhythm.)
[cut to later]
[cut to later]
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
[cut to later]
Monica: (to Ross) I can't believe you did that.
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, hes listening to the hypnosis tape again.]
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I wanted to call and tell you that there's no hard feelings for firing me.
Ross: Okay. (Sits down next to Phoebe.) You uh, you wanna hear something weird?
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
MONICA: No. Um, I know you like this, and I want you to have it. I think it'll look good in our apartment.
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
Dr. Green: I have no idea, I went to the bathroom. So sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is uh, what is new with you.
Monica: I'm sorry, Joey. I'm gonna go to bed, guys.
(cut to later in the day)
Rachel: Chandler, Im not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
Monica: I'm making cookies for Erica. And oh, by the way, we have to leave for the airport soon, her plane comes in about an hour.
PHOEBE: Ok, I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket, but I uh want to believe you.
Chandler: (to the ticket agent) American Express?
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel enters.]
Ross: (gasps) Hi... There she is. Hi Emma. Oh my God, I missed you. (kisses her) Oh Emma, I missed you so much. Hey... Did you have a good time with grandma Green? Huh? Did she give you a bottle of anti-depressants again to use as a rattle? (to Rachel)
Chandler: We really need to take those tests?
(They come to a door and silently agree to try it. A very sweaty woman emerges)
Ross: You know what, you can go, I just have to fill out some forms. (Tries to hold the pen but cant)
Phoebe: Well, youre just gonna have to try.
Rachel: Oh, come on! He's glad that I came, he doesn't want me to go anywhere, balls flying all over the place!
[cut back to the present.]
Mike: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Is this, hot Rachel, that you took to the Christmas party, Rachel?
Ross: Oh no-no-no! Oh-no! (Emily starts to run out and Ross chases her.) No! No! Emily!
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, we forgot that party we have to go to.
LITTLE BULLY: Well then here's the deal, you won't have to so long as never ever show your faces in this coffee house ever again.
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
Ross: (opening the door to see Mona standing there) Mona? What arehi! What are you doing here? Im, um, supposed to pick you up!
Joey and Chandler: (start to sing) Hey! Happy birthday ...
Joey: Yeah! Okay! (He notices a beautiful woman sitting behind the couch and goes to talk to her.) Hey! Hi!
[Cut to Joey's room, who's going throw his own contractions. Plus, he has Ross in a headlock.]
Joey: Great! All right. Ill see you later. (He starts to leave.)
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldnt. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler.
Joey: You guys got anything to eat? I just went down to Johnos for some chicken and it was closed!