words in movies
DR. REMORE: I'm sorry Amber. It's just like Brad to have to have the last word.
JOEY: Well, I get the medical award for separating the siamese twins. Then Amber and I go to Venezuela to meet our other half-brother, Ramone. And that's where I find the world's biggest emerald. It's really big but it's cursed.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is at the foosball table trying to get Phoebe to play a game with him.]
PHOEBE: No. This game is grotesque. Twenty armless guys joined at the waist by a steel bar, forced to play soccer forever. Ahh, hello, human-rights violation.
PHOEBE: Maybe that's because you haven't taken the time to get to know him. Let's remedy that, shall we?
CHANDLER: We don't need to remedy that.
PHOEBE: Hi, um, I just thought that it would be fun if the three of us had some beers and got to know each other.
PHOEBE: Oh good, ok. Oh nooo, I have to go because I'm late for my um, Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun bye.
PHOEBE: I know, yeah. Ok, talk to him. [leaves]
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
PHOEBE: Oh, this is so nice. Alright I have to make a speech. I just wanna say that of all the guys that Monica has been with, and that is a lot, I like you the best.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is there. There's a knock at the door. He answers it to see a young woman holding a fishtank.]
CHANDLER: Oh yeah, your uh, name came up in a uh, conversation that terrified me to my very soul.
TILLY: Eddie, I just came by to drop off your tank.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey enters with several magazines and runs up to Phoebe.]
JOEY: Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.'
JOEY: Huh? Never really thought about the writers. The scripts just kinda come to my house. But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good, which makes the writers look good so how could they be mad about that?
JOEY: How can they do this to me?
RICHARD: Well, I mean what can I say? I, I was married to Barbara for 30 years. She was my high school sweetheart, now you, that's two.
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
RICHARD: That's it? That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me?
MONICA: And, well, don't you have a lot of wild oats to sew? Or is that what you're doing with me? Oh my God, am I an oat?
RICHARD: Now I do. [they kiss and fall to the bed]
RACHEL: Ross, Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh.
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, try to hear me. Ok, I, hey, I'm not gonna lie to you. Ok, it was good with Paolo.
MONICA: Hi. Uh, we'll be right there, we're just trying to decide something. [shuts the bathroom door]
RICHARD: Hey. They're just trying to decide somehting.
ROSS: Good, good, good. So, is uh, was your moustache, did, used to be different?
MONICA: Alright, I tell you what, I'll give this to you now if you can tell me where we keep the dustpan.
CHANDLER: Because sometimes, Phoebe after you sleep with someone, you have to kill the fish.
DR. REMORE: Amber, I want you to know that I'll always be there for you, as a friend and as your brother.
INTERCOM: Dr. Remore, report to first floor emergency, stat.
DR. REMORE: Well then, uh, I uhh, guess that's me. Anyone else need to go on the elevator? Dr. Horton, Dr. Wong?
ROSS: Open up. We want to talk to you.
MONICA: And some of us really have to pee.
MONICA: Sorry Joey [runs to the bathroom]
RACHEL: Well, maybe they can find a way to bring you back.
JOEY: Naa, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or somethin.
JOEY: Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
PHOEBE: Yes, I was going to incorporate that. Oh good, here's Monica, she'll have something nice to say.
MONICA: Um, I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew. What? To me that's nice.
RACHEL: Yeah, Joey honey, I don't know if this'll mean anything to you but you'll always be pre-approved with us.
JOEY: No, that means nothin to me.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.Chandler walks in to see Eddie holding a tray of cookies.]
CHANDLER: [looks in the fish bowl to see a fish cracker] Well that's not an, even a real fish. No, that's a goldfish cracker.
Monica: Okay. (She opens it up and shows it to them.)
Monica: Because then I dont have to!
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Monica: (To Joey) Oh, about that. Joey, you have to change before the party.
Ross: Damnit! I have this date tomorrow night and I have to look cool!
(The woman gets up and walks over to their table.)
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Joey: Come here! (Hugs Dina and Bobby looks to hug Rachel.)
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
Frank: Well, you, wait no, my Mother didnt want us to be together, but the worst thing she ever did was tie me to the porch.
Mona: I dont understand. You-you give me a key to your apartment and then you change the lock.
Joey: Yeah. All right, Ill talk to you later.
Rachel: Honey, stop it! I am not going to tell you until I tell him.
Rachel: What?! What?! He was trying to cheer me up! My pony was sick.
JOEY: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do. . . so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, [Joey from TV] you know that's bad fo r the paper tray.
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe at the mike.]
Chandler: (to Joey) Okay, that hurt us.
Joey: I want to do it again.
Hombre Man: (to a customer) Hombre? (The guy says yes, and gets his sample.)
(Chandler and Monica carry Erica and Jack over to the crib and put them down carefully.)
Joey: Ill take those to go. (To the interviewer) For the kids.
Rachel: Well maybe she and her friends are just having a contest to see who can bring home the biggest geek.
Mr. Treeger: Could you tell Jasmine that I won't make it to yoga class today?
Joey: Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a pictureI didn't have my camera!
Joey: That just cost me four bucks. But uh listen, I just called to see how the chick and the duck are doing?
CHANDLER: Achhh.� It's always better to lie than to have the complicated discussion.� (pause)� Except with you.
Chandler: Ok, you can not do this to me.
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Chandler: Yeah, and I-I gave first names to all of the foosball players.
Monica: Really? I'm really tired of being your relationship tutor. You're gonna have to figure this one for yourself. All right? Y'know what? If you're too afraid to be in a real relationship, then don't be in one. (She walks out.)
Monica: He wanted to tell me hes gonna compete is some ultimate fighting competition thingy.
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
(Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller.)
(Monica leaves and Chandler moves to talk to Phoebe.)
Joey: Wow. (To Ross) Good speech.
Rachel: Oh my God. (starting to cry)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is telling Monica and Rachel what he has to do.]
Rachel: Hi, Im back. Listen, I need to...
Rachel: Phoebe, hi, we�re so sorry. You�re totally right. We are here one hundred per cent and we love you and we are ready to start your birthday celebration.
The Doctor: (entering) (To the receptionist) Can I have the next one please? (Takes the form.) Joey and Tony Tribbiani. (Joey and Carl stand up.)
Joey: Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.)
Joey: No-no! No, Im accepting it on her behalf. (He puts it up above the TV to display it.)
RACHEL: OK, Ross, listen to me, I am not yours to save.
Elizabeth: Oh! Sorry! Umm, I actually do need to talk to you.
Monica: Okay, you ready to open yours?
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
Rachel: (Faking cheerfulness.) Hello. Umm, when is your next flight to London?
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
Elizabeth: Oh. Well, so we have to hide our relationship from one more person. Big deal. Besides, its kinda fun hiding.
Chandler: So are you gonna...talk to her?
Kristen: Oh okay. But yknow what? Be careful. Because a guy was helping me before had to leave because he hurt his back.
Doug: Bing my boy, were gonna get you over this. Now heres the plan, grab your coat, were going to a strip club.
Phoebe: (singing) ...fuchsia and mauvvve. Those are the 66 colours of my bedroommmm. (applause) Thank you, thank you. Ohh, and I invite you to count the colours in your bedroom. (Sees that Phoebe Sr. has entered, and to her) Except for you. You go away.
[Cut to the waiting room, a twice triumphant Frank returns.]
Chandler: You didnt bring me here to do that, did you?
Wayne: I wish I could talk to her.
Monica: (to the couple) Hi! Can you do that and walk? Cause she said, "Next."
Phoebe: We want you to marry her!
Rachel: Fine. (They start to walk away.)
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
Dr. Rhodes: Wait a minute, hold it. (He goes to the door and opens it.) Johnson! Will you come in here a moment?
Phoebe: I beg to differ (shows him her cup of coffee and her plate of cookies).
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
(They move to kiss, but realise that Chandler is staring at them. Chandler urges them on.)
Joey: (Shocked) Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. (turns the bolts of the door, thereby locking it)
Rachel: I get to hire my own assistant!
Ross: Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box)
MONICA: (suddenly starts issuing him out) Ah, it's an honest mistake.� It could happen to anyone.� All right, see ya.
Rachel: Do you think it's possible for two friends to fool around and... and not have it be a big deal?
Monica: Forty-two to twenty-one! Like the turkey, Ross is done!
Rachel: Well dontWhat happened to Jessicas body?!
Monica: Its actually going to be just family.
Elizabeth: Stop it! (She starts to get all worked up.)
Monica: I thought it might be true. And I was afraid that you were gonna cry and then show it to me.
The Director: But youre supposed to work on Monday.
Rachel: Don't let him in! I'm supposed to be at a regatta gala.
Joey: Look, I got to apologize on the behalf of Carl.
Rachel: Okay, it's missing something. Ooh, I know! Umm, okay. (Goes and grabs a bag, that looks like a purse, and shows it to Joey.)
Pete: Oh, it's good news. No, it's definitely good news. Hold on a second, I have another call. (clicks his remote) (to his other call) Hey, how's it going?
Phoebe: Umm, sympathy pains. I thought it was really sweet at first, but now I think he's just trying to steal my thunder.
Steve: Oh hey, Ross. Umm, see, I was thinking maybe you two could switch apartments because Phoebe's more our kind of people. Something to think about. (Walks away.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Did she see us yet? Did she see us?
Chandler: Hey, you know who used to have nails like that?
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
Chandler: You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament, what are you gonna do with it?
Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.
Chandler: But I am willing to offer her all those things. This was just a plan, yknow? A way to throw her off course so that when I offered her all these things, shed be surprised!
(The phone rings and Chandler goes to get it)
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
Ross: Well with Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. She made no such promise.
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
Ross: (looking astonished) What? NO! I am not going to give them Ben!
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers, Rachel is entering.]
Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!
[Cut to Living Room]
Ross: (covering his ears and screaming) La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Okay, okay, yeah, I would have been devastated but, I would still want to be with you. Because its, I mean its you.
Chandler: Honey, weve been over this. I need to be facing the other way.