words in movies
Rachel: Yeah, we got a lot to do! We gotta think about the flowers, the caterers, the music
Ross: Take from me, as the groom all you have to do is show up and try to say the right name.
Monica: This baby has got everything. Take yknow, locations for instance. (She opens up the binder to the locations chapter.) First, organized alphabetically, then geographically, then by square footage.
Phoebe: That is so smart! (To Chandler, under her breath) Break it off. Break it off now.
Phoebe: I need to talk to you, its pretty urgent. Its about Monica and Chandler.
Ross: Oh my God! Of course, of course. (To the class.) Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each others hometowns? Why dont you (Motions that they should learn everyones hometown.) (To Phoebe) Wh-whats going on?
Phoebe: Oh yeah it is! Im going to the movies and it starts in like five minutes.
Phoebe: (to the students) Oh, Im sorry. Im so rude. Does anyone want to come to the movies?
Chandler: Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding?
Chandler: Definitely roses. (Monica and Rachel exchange a look.) Well, I just think theyre a little more weddingy. (Monica holds the Lily picture closer to him.) But Lilies are the clear choice.
[Cut to Joey and Rachels, Joey enters and heads for his bedroom. He pushes open the door to find the duck.]
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
Ross: Look, this is my home and I want to be able to come and go whenever I want!
Phoebe: Okay, I will find someplace else to do the rest of my appointments. I just dont know what the big deal is!
Ross: The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.
Joey: Okay, look Im sorry, I went in there to take a nap and I know I shouldnt have, but you got porn!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Woman: Great! (Calls down the hall) Dad! (Her old father walks in.) Thank you so much, Ill be back to pick him up in an hour. (She walks away.)
Monica: Oh dad, really you dont need to
Mr. Geller: We started saving again when you were dating Richard and then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.
Chandler: Clearly I did not start drinking enough at the start of the meal. (Starts to make up for lost time and takes a big swig of his drink.)
Mrs. Geller: We might still have some money, if your father didnt think it was a good idea to sell ice over the Internet.
Mr. Geller: All right, enough! I dont want to hear about it anymore! (Under his breath) Good luck, Chandler. (Chandler takes another drink.)
Ross: Okay! Now, Im going to touch you. (He does so, very gingerly.) Ohh, thats soft. (He starts poking him and notices his salad spoons and starts to massage him with those.)
Chandler: I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.
Rachel: Wait, but theres no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center!
Rachel: No, yknow what? Its gonna be okay. I mean you dont have to have this rustic Italian feast. Yknow? And-and you dont need, you dont need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. (She starts to cry, as does Monica.)
Chandler: Well, close to (Notices Rachel leaning in to hear and decides to write it on a piece of paper and hand it to Monica as Phoebe averts her eyes.)
Monica: (To Chandler) How great are you, you little saver?! I mean, the-the amount you have is exactly the budget of my dream wedding!
Rachel: (starting to cry) Ohh, you guys are so made for each other.
Chandler: Look, I understand, but I have to put my foot down. Okay? The answer is no.
Monica: You-youre gonna have to put your foot down?
Ross: (chases her) Oh yeah, yeah? Well uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines! (Realizes a table of women overheard him.) (To that table.) Sup?
Phoebe: (entering) Ross! How could you do that to an old man?!
Ross: (looking at the table) Excuse me ladies. (To Phoebe) Im sorry?
Phoebe: Oh, its my fault?! You didnt have to massage him! You couldve sent him away! You couldve not rolled Tonka trucks up and down his back!
Monica: Listen umm, Ive been thinking, its not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Chandler: Yeah, Im putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy then, then thats what were gonna do.
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, yknow? Well pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Rachel: Who are you supposed to be?
Rachel: (starting to move closer to him) Thats right, I wanna do it with you! Ive been trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things.
Rachel: (moves the stool out of the way) Yeah! Ohh, Ive been waitin so long to get on that body!
Joey: Hey-hey, youre startin to sound like the butchers wife there in-in chapter seven.
Joey: I dont want to, Im scared.
Rachel: (to Monica) What?!
CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance. . . ya know, make a little love. . . well pretty much get down tonight.
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
Ross: Obviously not to Joey.
Joey: Y-y-yeah! (As they start to leave, Rachel pauses and steals a vase with flowers in it.) Yeah you do. (They exit.)
ROSS: [sitting at table talking to a girl] It's hard to tell because I'm sweating, but I use exactly what the gel bottle says, an amount about the size of a pea. How, how can that be too much?
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself.
Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)
Chandler: Yeah, either that, or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually, the rhythm is going to get you.
Rachel: (lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast � to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Rachel: All right, well that's good to know. Good night, Steve.
Emily: Dont do this to me, again. Youd know Id stay here in a minute, but Id really miss so much work, theyll fire me.
Emily: (Giggles.) Ohh...(She realizes that shes in her gown.) Oh! You were not meant to see me before the wedding. Its bad luck.
MONICA: Well, CHP because I used to have a crush on Eric Estrada. And ZXY becuase I think it sounds zexy.
Monica: Can we turn the TV off? Okay? Do we really want to spend the entire weekend like this?
Phoebe: Umm, well I, I kinda had a little chat with Alice, and I sort of made her see why you two shouldnt be together, y'know. And youre gonna see it to, one day, you really, really will.
Chandler: We are supposed to make these decisions together! Did you not watch the Doctor Phil I taped for you?
Ross: Thanks, Gunther. (takes the plate Gunther serves him and Rachel comes up and kisses him) (to Rachel) Hey! (to Gunther) Umm, can I get a napkin too?
Kim: Oh don't be sorry, that's part of your job here to give your opinions and then I take credit for them--I'm kidding.
Rachel: Dont!! (Joey backs away frightened.) (To Jill) Honey, what are you doing here?!
Rachel: (to Ross) Whats your problem?
(Barry finds it draped on a cupboard and gives it to Rachel, they kiss as Bobby enters.)
MONICA: Woah, woah, woah, let's go back to 29.
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Rachel: You know what? Uhm, I have some goodbye stuff that I wanted to say to each of you and I was gonna save it until the end of the night, but come here (they go into the guest room).
Chandler: (glaring at her) Well, Monica and Chandler cant go. Were going to dinner remember?!
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, she has just lost her flower to Chandler.]
Monica: Oh she misunderstood, she thought she was moving to Tulsa.
Monica: Oh, I don't know. Maybe, um, "That was nice?" Admit something to me? "I'll call you?"
MONICA: Wait a minute, who told you? [turns to Chandler who's looking sheepish] You are dead meat.
Rachel: That had to hurt!
Rachel: (holding the phone out to Chandler) Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you.
Sonia: We'll get to the wax in a minute. First I want to tweeze some of the strays, ok? This may sting just a little bit...
Ross: (to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.
Russell: And well need to have witnesses who can testify that you were not of uh, sound mind.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
EDDIE: You want me to sing?
Chandler: Yeah, well, she's probably talking to Richard.
Receptionist: Welcome to the Chestnut Inn Mr. Bing, so where are you joining from?
[The stereo system booms out 'Billions of years ago. . .'. Ross gets up and changes it to music.]
Mr. Douglas: Not you. Relax. Ever have to fire anyone?
Rachel: Okay Joey honey, youre doing really good! All right, now Im just gonna need you to step to the port side. (Joey pauses as he tries to remember which side is the port side.) Remember? Remember how we talked about the port side?
Chandler: Our eyes are closed and were about to cross the street. Very good.
Rachel: OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow... (gets up to leave)
CHANDLER: That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get.
Rachel: I didnt uh, really have time to read this part of the books, but do you think we have time to
Joey: All right, give it back to me. (takes the card back, but he looks at the card before he puts it back in the deck, he holds the deck to his forehead, and thinks a little while) 5 of hearts.
Teacher: Well that's all right, you can come up to the front and dance with me.
Phoebe: Yeah we thought it would be nice to use the fancy china for dessert too.
Leslie: No, no, I dont want to forget it.
[Scene: Rachels outer office, shes returning with two coffee cups in hand to find Tag sitting there.]
Monica: Okay, I feel like Im talking to Lassie. All right, Phoebe would you just tell me!
Monica: Phoebe, you have to lift it and point.
Phoebe: Yeah I know. Isnt it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
Chandler: Are you sure he's gonna be able to crack that code?
[Rachel brings a muffin to Chandler and Monica who are sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: Nooo! Its not okay! I cant believe you would want to after what he did to me!
The Casting Director: Actually, I tried to call to you. You didnt need to come down here today.
Joey: Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Chandler: For my last birthday you gave me a hug! (To Rachel) Okay, read the card! Read the card!
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Chandler: People whove never ever been to Paris.
Chandler: Well, that's like money in your pocket! - Alright look, you want me to say it? This sucks. Being here sucks! This work sucks!
Joey: Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guys not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.
JOEY: Phoebs look, if you want to know what the deal is, you're just gonna have to ask him.
Rachel: And so were-were you close to your parents?
Monica: All right fine. Fine, Ill do it. Ive just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
Rachel: Oh, it's a gift certificate to this new SPA in SOHO.
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
Ross: But, um... I don't think that's going to be you.
Ross: Yknow what? I-I gotta go. (Starts to leave.)
(They enter Joey and Rachels to find that Joey has broken Chandlers chair.)
Rachel: (To Marcel) And I will see you tomorrow!
Monica: If it is a new message, what is he calling to say?
Mischa: Well, you just asked if I wanted to go to bed with you tonight.
(Cut back to Joey and Angela at the counter.)
Alice: Absolutely. Okay, first well start with a little club soda and salt, and then if that doesnt work we can go back to
Alice: (shocked) Oh! Oh! Oh! Thank you so much! You dont know what this means to us! Oh!
Monica: Okay, fine. (runs to her room)
Monica: All right, Ill take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and thats it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. (to Ross) Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all?
Chandler: (starts to recite a rehearsed speech) Monica is a self-sufficient, together lady. (Pause.) Being with her has been like being on a vacation. And what may be perceived as high maintenance is merely attention to detail and(He falters and Monica prompts him.)generosity of spirit.
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Rachel: Well, Chandler said that it's really important to him too!
Rachel: Well, it doesnt sound like it! I mean, its pretty easy not to kiss someone, you just dont kiss them! See look at us, right now, not kissing!
(Monica smiles to cover her embarrassment, but Rachel sadly looks away...)
Joey: All right, who got Chandler? Cause I uh, need to trade.
Cecilia: (running out to Joey) That was so wonderful! (Hugs him) Ohh, I think that youre a better Jessica than I ever was!
Rachel: What do you think Monica mean when she said she didnt want to talk, especially with me? I mean, why not especially you and me? We were both out there kissing.
Rachel: Shhh...I don't know what to do, this is totally unprecedented.
Phoebe: Yeah, and-and leaving us to go see hot dancer girls is not very Thanksgivingy.
Frank: Oh, excellent. (starts to melt the fire extinguishers hose.)
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-you go to the doctor!
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad .
Monica: Its never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.
Joey: Yes sir! Yes sir, Im-Im(he starts to leave)
Phoebe: Rachel has something that she wants to tell you and umm, I believe that this is your red sweater.
Bitter lady: (now yelling) Well, you're not gonna get one! Because in life there are no intermissions, people. Chapter 7: Divorce is a 4 letter word. (Now standing right in front of Chandler and bending down almost to his level as if speaking to him, yelling even louder) How could he leave me?!?!
MONICA: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.