words in movies
(A woman walks up to Gunther in the background.)
Woman: (to Gunther) Hi. Could I have a pack of Newport Lights, please?
Rachel: (to the gang) Oh my God, Melissa Warburton. I dont think I have the energy for this.
Melissa: Listen, we-we have to have dinner. What-what are you doing tomorrow night?
Melissa: I-Ive got to go. This has been so great Ray-ray! (Gunther returns with her cigarettes.) Oh, there you are. (Takes them from Gunther.) (To Rachel) Umm, so listen, just call me. Heres my card. (Hands the card over.)
Melissa: Oh no, thats-thats an old card. Umm, I wanted to get out of that and-and do something where I can really help people and-and make a difference.
Rachel: Shes actually very sweet and we used to be very close.
Rachel: (To Monica) Yes.
Monica: (To Joey) They were lovers.
Rachel: No we werent! It was nothing! It was one night, senior year we went to a party, had a lot of sangria and yknow, ended up kissing for a bit.
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?
Monica: (To Chandler) Okay, the red ones are my guests and the blue ones are yours.
Monica: Chandler, relax its not a contest. (To Rachel) Certainly not a close one.
Monica: All right, all right. Maybe I can fit them in if I just do some rearranging. But uh, Rachel may actually have to sit at the bar!
Joey: (leaning down to her) Maybe youll order a little sangria?
Rachel: (motioning to a rack) So now, these are all the tuxedos that we make and if theres anything that you like, we can make you a deal. Anything at all. (Grabs a few) But these are the three that Monica pre-approved.
Chandler: Well, thanks a lot for hookin me up Rach. I want you to know that I want you to attend our wedding as my guest.
Rachel: Im Monicas maid of honor. Okay? Dont try to blue pin me!
Chandler: Okay, who wore those? (Points to the tuxedos.)
Chandler: Oh, I have to get married in James Bonds tux!
Chandler: Oh, its not just that, I would be Englands most powerful weapon. Jet setting heartbreaker on her majestys secret service. A man who fears no one; with a license to kill. (Worried.) Would Monica let me wear this?
Joey: We should really learn how to play the real way. (Moves another piece.)
Rachel: Well, what are you going to wear?
Phoebe: Hey oh, Rach wait! Do you want to go to a movie tonight?
Rachel: Oh, yknow what? I cant. I have to have dinner with that Melissa girl.
Rachel: Well, do you want to hear what actually happened or Joeys lewd version?
Phoebe: (To Joey) Which means she had a couple spritzers and a quick peck on the cheek.
Rachel: Yeah, why is it so hard for you to believe?!
Phoebe: To Ross.
Rachel: All right, yknow what? If you dont want to believe me about this, why dont you just come with me to dinner tonight and she will tell you.
Ross: Well, you need something to make this day special? Hello! You-you-you have the most special thing of all! You are marrying the woman you love.
Chandler: Look, its my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you.
Monica: Hey. Oh good-good youre here! All right, I figured it out. Im gonna take two tables of eight, Im gonna add your parents, and Im gonna turn them into three tables of six. Okay? And I called the caterer; I added two extra meals, we are good to go!
Joey: Come on! Look just-just telllet her know that you really want them to be there. Lets not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.
Joey: Is it her fault that some of them didnt make it to you?
Monica: Well, what am I going to say?
Joey: I dont know. Just uh, just tell em it was a mix-up with the invitations, orNo-no-no! Blame it on the post office. They hate the post office. And the Irish! But I dont think you can blame it on them so (He dials the phone and hands it to Monica.)
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Yknow, we were really huge too, but then they had to shut us down when Regina Philange died of alcohol poisoning.
Monica: Well, he did manage to keep his identity secret for a long time.
Joey: Listen, I know the invitation says 6:00, but does that mean that you want people to get there at six, or the show is gonna start right at six?
Monica: Have you ever been to one of my weddings?
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
Rachel: Yeahbut come onListen, Im sorry I dont want to make you uncomfortable, but I told Phoebe that it happened and she doesnt believe me.
Melissa: Im sorry Ray-ray. I mean if I thought it happened I would say it. Maybe I passed out and you did stuff to me while I was sleeping.
Phoebe: Rachel, its okay. You dont have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa.
Ross: Yes. I find it to be something of a conversation piece.
Ross: Gunther. (To Chandler) Hey-hey! Why dont we put them on? Yknow get a picture of Batman and James Bond together.
Ross: Well that stinks. I was looking forward to us wearing our celebrity tuxes together.
Chandler: Well, does that mean that youre not going to wearing yours?
Chandler: An invitation for the At First Sight premiere? Oh my God! Val Kilmer didnt wear this in Batman! He wore it to the premiere of some tooty-fruity love story where he played a blind guy!
Joey: (entering) Hey! Uh, Monica? Chandler? Can I talk to you guys for a second?
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Joey: Okay. I will. Ohh! Check out what they got me to wear for the ceremony! (Runs to his apartment and returns wearing a rather silly hat.) Huh? I wear it like this when I marry you guys, and then this (He tilts it to the side of his head) is for party time.
Melissa: Okay. (To Phoebe) Well, it was great meeting you. And uh Rachel, I-I dont think Ill be calling you (hails a cab) because umm, yknow youve gotten weird. (The cab pulls up.) Take care you guys.
(Shes about to get in when )
Melissa: Of course I remember our kiss. I think about it all the time. I can still hear the coconuts knockin together I (Phoebe is shocked.) I just didnt want to tell you cause I didnt think that youd return my love, and now that you have (Leans in to kiss Rachel.)
Melissa: (laughs) Oh you dont have to be (Laughs again) sorry. Im Im obviously kidding. Im not in love with you. (To Phoebe) Im not in love with her. I dont hear coconuts banging together. Yeah, I dont picture your face when I make love to my boyfriend. Anyway, I gotta go. Eh kiss good-bye? (Rachel stares at her stunned.) No? Okay. (Hurries into the cab and drives off.)
Phoebe: I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about.
Rachel: I dont want to say.
Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
(Chandler catches the ball and starts to run upfield.)
RACHEL: Well do you get to look through one of those like, those periscope thingys.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is sulking on the couch as Joey enters to talk with him.]
Chandler: Y'know, he won't even talk to me. How am I going to apologize to him if he won't even talk to me?
Chandler: All guys that are awake. Then we go to sleep and then all the guys from the other end of the world wake up and behave the exact same way.
Monica: Okay, this is the den. All right, check this out. Lights! (the lights turn on automatically, but are very bright) Whoa! All right. Less lights! Bad lights! Lights go away! (they dim) Oh, see you just need to find the right command.
Chandler: Yeah. (they start to leave)
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!
RACHEL: I know, but it's just it's the first time, and I just don't want her to think that because I didn't marry Barry, that my life is total crap, you know?
Monica: Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that youre really sarcastic, or that, yknow, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.
Chandler: Well, I have a girlfriend, Im-Im happy. So, I no longer feel the need to go out of my way to stop others from being happy.
CHANDLER: Yeah, I mean, it would be rude to them for us to leave now.
[They get back to back and start rubbing against each other. Ross and Rachel enter.]
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im a masseuse, and I used to work at this place
Ross: (to Monica) You like it right?
SUSIE: It looks like one of her eyebrows fell down. Now unless someone convinces her to let me bleach it, Jean-Claude Van Damme is gonna be making out with Gabe Kaplan.
[Camera pans to the Geller family table. Ross, Rachel, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there.]
Rachel: (speaking to herself and reading Cosmopolitan) Oh, lucky me! Coffee and a live sex show!
Chandler: Oh, I just wanted to say, "Hey!"
Rachel: Yeah! (She puts on her coat and turns around and sees Ross is expecting her to help.) (Laughing.) Are you kiddin'?
Rachel: Yknow Joey, I could teach you to sail if you want.
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
Joey: Whats not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Goooooood.
(Chandler throws the ball to kick-off.)
Monica: Heres your key. All right, you have to christen it! Now, go out and come back in!
Monica: No, no! We should divide them up (picks up the bowl) and I should get extra because we used my card to buy them!
Joey: And the best part is, we're filming in the desert outside Vegas! (To Chandler) And you know what that means buddy!
Rachel: That is great. Hey, yknow who doesnt have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university.
[Camera pans back from the TV to show the gang watching.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is talking to Chandler.]
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Phoebe: Well, I didn't get embarrassed running next to Miss (panting). But no, okay. No, no, I can see why running with me would be embarrassing to you. Yeah, okay. You're uptight.
Phoebe: Oh...you don't have to go, I have something that will fit you.
INTERVIEWER: So, uh, what are you going to do next?
Ross: Hey, say something to Emma on her 18th birthday!
Ross: Yeah, you didnt expect her to live there with a baby did you?
French Phoebe: Gauze! Gauze! I need to get some gauze in here! Can I please get some gauze in here! (A shell explodes outside next to the tent and when the smoke clears, Phoebe still has her arm.) Whew! (Her arm falls off and starts pumping out blood.) This is getting ridiculous uh!
CHANDLER: How long you been waitin' to say that?
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, maybe that's something to do with the fact that I saw him do a love scene yesterday.
Ross: Oh, come here sweetie, listen, youre gonna go on like a thousand interviews before you get a job. (she glares at him) Thats not how that was supposed to come out.
(She walks down the aisle with the groomsman. We cut to inside Central Perk, where Phoebe and Chandler are waiting.)
Rachel: Did-did you come up here to work on that term paper or something?
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day, and its just a crush, thats all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everythings going to be fine. Its just a crush.
Phoebe: Ooh, I have to tell you something.
Monica: Ah no, you see, someone was supposed to take them down around New Years... but obviously someone forgot.
(They both go back into their old rooms and shut the doors. Of course, Chandler has to close both sections of his door.)
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
RACH: Why would I have to sleep with you?
Rachel: Oh-oh, Pottery Barn! (Grabs the aforementioned catalog and holds the rest back out to Chandler.) You can throw the rest away.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
>>> Joey's Subconscious So this is going pretty good. dinner was nice, got a lot in common. (Sees a magazine) Victoria's secret huh we even like the same books. (Walks over to a painting on the wall) Oh now there's a scary painting. wait a minute I think I've been scared by that painting before. (Looks around) You know what this whole place look familiar I have definitely been in this apartment I know I've seen this weird plant before (it's a cactus and he touch's it) AWCH! It did that the last time. Oh my god, I've gone out with this girl before yeah we had sex on this couch and then on that chair and no. no we didn't do it hear which is weird because it seems like a perfectly good place.
Rachel: (Brings Marcel a teddy bear) Marcel, this is for you. It's, uh, just, y'know, something to, um, do on the plane.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah. He deserves to do the thing he loves one last time.
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
Joey: So what're you going to do?
Ross: Yes. Yes, yes I did. (To Mona) But-but it was, it was just a one night thing. It meant nothing.
Joey: Hey! (starts to laugh.) Hows it going?
[Cut to a close-up of Rachel, eagerly awaiting Ross's arrival... not knowing he is getting off the plane with another woman.]
Ross: What?! That-thats all the way cross town, Im supposed to teach a graduate seminar there in ten minutes.
Joey: All right, all right maybe-maybe you should just ask her to leave.
Rachel: When did you go to a sperm bank?
Ross: (to Chandler) Thats a duck.
Rachel: All right, yknow what? I-Im sorry. I will try to tone it down and uh stop yelling.
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
Joey: No! I want an award I did win! But nobodys giving me any of those! PlusHey Rach, if-if I put it up there (Points to the TV) right? When people come over theyll see it and theyll think I won it.
(They run to the bed, sit down, and start making out again.)
Chandler: I'd love to, but it's 2300 hours and I'm about to have the most organized sex anyone's ever had.
Mr. Zelner: Ive asked Lee from human resources to be here as a witness to our conversation.
Ross: It's actually kinda interesting to find out what people are doing... remember Andrea Rich?
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
Rachel: Oh, well, that shouldnt be so hard, now that youre dating. (Imitating men at their worst) "Sweetheart, youre fired, but how bout a quickie before I go to work?"
(The lights dim and Chandler tries to get away but as the bitter lady comes on stage and starts yelling he promptly changes his mind and sits down)
Pete: I got to go, so ah, Ill see you guys later.
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Chandler: Youre arranging flowers! (Pointing to the dish on the table.) You got dead flowers! You got a picture, a picture, of a baby dressed like flowers! This is not Joey!!
Amanda: (to Phoebe) No I distinctly remember you were dodging her (points at Monica) calls and trying to avoid seeing her.
(People start getting up. Ross grabs Carols doll to hold it upside down like a football, slapping it with his other hand.)
(In the meantime, Ross is trying to squeeze and push a rather large chair through the revolving doors of the Ralph Lauren building.)
Ross: And then, you try to make the best of a bad situation, so you float the idea of a threesome?
[cut to later]
Chandler: Is everybody else seeing a troll doll nailed to a two by four?
Ross: Now, if you need to stay late, I want to be supportive of that.
Monica: Yeah! Okay, this one is a mushroom cap. (Points to it.) Umm, this one is made of bologna. (Points.)
Chandler: I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
Joey: No, it's just ah, I care so damn much about little Ben that uh, it was more important to see him succeed.
Joey: Im not talking to you! You broke my fridge!
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and the Indians taught the Pilgrims what it meant to be hot in the new world!
Phoebe: Can I borrow the phone? I want to call my apartment and check on my grandma. (to Monica) What's my number?
Phoebe: All right well, we're just gonna have to tell Monica, that's all.
Alice: None. But if there was something you wanted to tell us, were just gonna be right over there (points to the counter) having coffee.
Chandler: (to Ross) Stop that now!
PHOEBE: Hi, um, I just thought that it would be fun if the three of us had some beers and got to know each other.
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh my God. That was so amazing! When did you (pause) Hold on! I almost forgot (she turns to Mike) loser! (back to Chandler) When did you stop sucking?
ROSS: A tattoo? Why, why would you want to do that? [to Rachel] Hi.
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.