words in movies
Monica: Because I need the money, and I thought that itd be a great way to get rid of that last little schmidgen of self-respect.
Monica: You dont have to stick up for her. She cant here you.
Chandler: Well, no, actually she uh, asked me if I wanted to get a drink.
Rachel: (laughs) You ah, you didnt say Yes to that did you?
Chandler: Well, I think I judged her too quickly, and this time we were able to take the relationship to the next level.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Oh my God! Did you hear that? She hired me because she thinks Im good.
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment, all are there.]
[Cut to Central Perk, the entire gang is there.]
Monica: I think he deserves a Nobel Prize. (Joey starts to nod Yes.)
[Cut to Monica and Rachels, theyre all there playing cards.]
Chandler: it was like the Algonquin kids table. (They all laugh, but Joey only laughs not to be left out.)
[Cut back to the present day.]
Phoebe: Okay, dont panic. Im gonna go to the store, Im gonna get you another set of nails, no ones gonna know, and youre gonna look great. (She runs over to get her coat.) Oh! Oh, its cause theyre gonna eatthats the problem.
Mrs. Geller: (entering) (to Monica) Honey, dont bite your nails.
Monica: Okay ah, please dont freak out. Umm, but ah, theres a blue fingernail in one of the quiche cups, and theres no way to know which one.
Mrs. Geller: Oh no, dont be silly. I just bet Id need these. (Opens the freezer to reveal )
Mrs. Geller: Oh honey, come on, have a sense of humour, youve never been able to laugh at yourself.
Joanna: No, no, that was my boss. I have to go.
Chandler: Okay. (Starts to button up his shirt)
Chandler: Ah-ha, youre not the boss of me. (She kisses him) Yeah, you are! (She handcuffs him to the chair) Ooh, saucy.
Joanna: (kisses him) Ill be back in ten minutes. (Starts to leave)
[Cut to Joannas outer office, where Rachel and Sophie work. They are both coming back from lunch.]
Rachel: Okay, swear you wont tell, but when Mark left he gave me a key to Joannas office. Do you wanna see the list?
(Rachel unlocks and opens the door to reveal a half-naked Chandler handcuffed to the chair. They both gasp and Chandler stares at them in shock and surprise.)
Chandler: Hi! (to Sophie) How are you?
[Scene: Joannas office, Chandler, still handcuffed to the chair, is looking through the lingerie catalogue by turning the pages with his teeth. The phone rings and Chandler answers it with his nose.]
[Cut to Rachels office as her intercom buzzes.]
(Rachel goes into talk to Chandler.)
Chandler: Okay, heres the situation. The keys to the cuffs are on the back of the door. Could you be a doll and grab them and scoot on over and unlock me? And on a totally different subject, that is a lovely pantsuit.
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I cant get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and Im cold, and (Stops and looks up the skirt on a statue behind Joannas desk.)
Chandler: No, I just always see guys doing this when they get handcuffs taken off them. (He runs over to where his pants are hanging) Hello sweet pants!
Rachel: No, theres nothing to make up, shes gonna know that I have a key to her office, Ive got to get you locked up back the way you were! (She tries to drag him over to the chair, but Chandler stops her.)
(He starts to put his pants on, but Rachel manages to drag him to the chair. When they get to the chair, Chandler drops his pants and knocks the chair away. Rachel then backs him up and locks him to the top drawer of a filing cabinet.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, The salesman is trying to sell Joey the encyclopedias.]
The Salesman: He painted that. (Points to one of his paintings in the book)
Phoebe: This used to be your room? (She nods Yes) Wow! You mustve been in really good shape as a kid.
Phoebe: No but, why does that have to be a bad thing. Just change what it means. Y'know? Go down there and prove your Mother wrong. Finish the job you were hired to do, and well call that pulling a Monica.
(She exits and Phoebe goes over and sits down at the machine that works your shoulders and tries to do one, which she does, easily.)
Rachel: Chandler! Chandler, please, I have to get you locked up back the way you were, I am sooo gonna lose my job, shes very private about her office. Now I know why.
Chandler: Hey, look, youre in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, shes gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.
Joey: Wow! Theres a lot I didnt know about vomit. (The duck comes to the door of the bathroom, quacking.) (To the duck) In a minute. (The duck goes back into the bathroom.)
The Salesman: So, what do you say, Joey? You get the whole set of encyclopedias for twelve hundred dollars, which works out to just 50 bucks a book!
Joey: You wanna see what I got? (He gets up to empty out his pockets) Okay? Ive got a baby Tootsie Roll, a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex, a rock, and an army man. Hey!
The Salesman: Okay, I-I get the picture. Uh, thanks, for your time. (Starts to leave)
Rachel: I have so got it. Theres gonna be rumours about this, theres no way to stop it. Sophie knows, Monica and Phoebe know.
Rachel: Ohh, not compared to you. (Chandler nods in agreement)
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Well, everyone seems to be enjoying your dish.
Mrs. Geller: Yes, well I was wrong, and I have to say you really impressed me today.
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
Mrs. Geller: And the next time you cater for me, there will be nothing but ice in the freezer. (She starts to bite her nails)
Chandler: (to Rachel) I love you. (Kisses her on the forehead)
(She motions for them to come closer, they lean in and she whispers what Rachel told her. The guys both lean back laughing.]
Joey: Well, we can talk about something else. What do you want to talk about? Vivisection? The Vasdeferens? The Vietnam War?
(They all laugh and Joey joins them, not to be left out. When the laughing dies down, he has a depressed look on his face.)
Rachel: Yeah, sure. Umm, they didnt have poppy seed bagels, so I (Enters Joannas office and sees her handcuffed to her chair wearing nothing but a slip) Oh my word!
Joanna: I seem to have had a slight office mishap. Could you please get the key off the back of the door for me.
(She goes back and forth, not sure what to do first, put the bagel down or grab the key. She finally puts the bagel down and grabs the key and goes over to unlock Joanna.)
Monica: Okay. (She opens it up and shows it to them.)
Monica: Because then I dont have to!
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Monica: (To Joey) Oh, about that. Joey, you have to change before the party.
Ross: Damnit! I have this date tomorrow night and I have to look cool!
(The woman gets up and walks over to their table.)
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Joey: Come here! (Hugs Dina and Bobby looks to hug Rachel.)
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
Frank: Well, you, wait no, my Mother didnt want us to be together, but the worst thing she ever did was tie me to the porch.
Mona: I dont understand. You-you give me a key to your apartment and then you change the lock.
Joey: Yeah. All right, Ill talk to you later.
Rachel: Honey, stop it! I am not going to tell you until I tell him.
Rachel: What?! What?! He was trying to cheer me up! My pony was sick.
JOEY: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do. . . so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, [Joey from TV] you know that's bad fo r the paper tray.
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe at the mike.]
Chandler: (to Joey) Okay, that hurt us.
Joey: I want to do it again.
Hombre Man: (to a customer) Hombre? (The guy says yes, and gets his sample.)
(Chandler and Monica carry Erica and Jack over to the crib and put them down carefully.)
Joey: Ill take those to go. (To the interviewer) For the kids.
Rachel: Well maybe she and her friends are just having a contest to see who can bring home the biggest geek.
Mr. Treeger: Could you tell Jasmine that I won't make it to yoga class today?
Joey: Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a pictureI didn't have my camera!
Joey: That just cost me four bucks. But uh listen, I just called to see how the chick and the duck are doing?
CHANDLER: Achhh.� It's always better to lie than to have the complicated discussion.� (pause)� Except with you.
Chandler: Ok, you can not do this to me.
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Chandler: Yeah, and I-I gave first names to all of the foosball players.
Monica: Really? I'm really tired of being your relationship tutor. You're gonna have to figure this one for yourself. All right? Y'know what? If you're too afraid to be in a real relationship, then don't be in one. (She walks out.)
Monica: He wanted to tell me hes gonna compete is some ultimate fighting competition thingy.
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
(Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller.)
(Monica leaves and Chandler moves to talk to Phoebe.)
Joey: Wow. (To Ross) Good speech.
Rachel: Oh my God. (starting to cry)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is telling Monica and Rachel what he has to do.]
Rachel: Hi, Im back. Listen, I need to...
Rachel: Phoebe, hi, we�re so sorry. You�re totally right. We are here one hundred per cent and we love you and we are ready to start your birthday celebration.
The Doctor: (entering) (To the receptionist) Can I have the next one please? (Takes the form.) Joey and Tony Tribbiani. (Joey and Carl stand up.)
Joey: Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.)
Joey: No-no! No, Im accepting it on her behalf. (He puts it up above the TV to display it.)
RACHEL: OK, Ross, listen to me, I am not yours to save.
Elizabeth: Oh! Sorry! Umm, I actually do need to talk to you.
Monica: Okay, you ready to open yours?
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
Rachel: (Faking cheerfulness.) Hello. Umm, when is your next flight to London?
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
Elizabeth: Oh. Well, so we have to hide our relationship from one more person. Big deal. Besides, its kinda fun hiding.
Chandler: So are you gonna...talk to her?
Kristen: Oh okay. But yknow what? Be careful. Because a guy was helping me before had to leave because he hurt his back.
Doug: Bing my boy, were gonna get you over this. Now heres the plan, grab your coat, were going to a strip club.
Phoebe: (singing) ...fuchsia and mauvvve. Those are the 66 colours of my bedroommmm. (applause) Thank you, thank you. Ohh, and I invite you to count the colours in your bedroom. (Sees that Phoebe Sr. has entered, and to her) Except for you. You go away.
[Cut to the waiting room, a twice triumphant Frank returns.]
Chandler: You didnt bring me here to do that, did you?
Wayne: I wish I could talk to her.
Monica: (to the couple) Hi! Can you do that and walk? Cause she said, "Next."
Phoebe: We want you to marry her!
Rachel: Fine. (They start to walk away.)
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
Dr. Rhodes: Wait a minute, hold it. (He goes to the door and opens it.) Johnson! Will you come in here a moment?
Phoebe: I beg to differ (shows him her cup of coffee and her plate of cookies).
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
(They move to kiss, but realise that Chandler is staring at them. Chandler urges them on.)
Joey: (Shocked) Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. (turns the bolts of the door, thereby locking it)
Rachel: I get to hire my own assistant!
Ross: Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box)
MONICA: (suddenly starts issuing him out) Ah, it's an honest mistake.� It could happen to anyone.� All right, see ya.
Rachel: Do you think it's possible for two friends to fool around and... and not have it be a big deal?
Monica: Forty-two to twenty-one! Like the turkey, Ross is done!
Rachel: Well dontWhat happened to Jessicas body?!
Monica: Its actually going to be just family.
Elizabeth: Stop it! (She starts to get all worked up.)
Monica: I thought it might be true. And I was afraid that you were gonna cry and then show it to me.
The Director: But youre supposed to work on Monday.
Rachel: Don't let him in! I'm supposed to be at a regatta gala.
Joey: Look, I got to apologize on the behalf of Carl.
Rachel: Okay, it's missing something. Ooh, I know! Umm, okay. (Goes and grabs a bag, that looks like a purse, and shows it to Joey.)
Pete: Oh, it's good news. No, it's definitely good news. Hold on a second, I have another call. (clicks his remote) (to his other call) Hey, how's it going?
Phoebe: Umm, sympathy pains. I thought it was really sweet at first, but now I think he's just trying to steal my thunder.
Steve: Oh hey, Ross. Umm, see, I was thinking maybe you two could switch apartments because Phoebe's more our kind of people. Something to think about. (Walks away.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Did she see us yet? Did she see us?
Chandler: Hey, you know who used to have nails like that?
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
Chandler: You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament, what are you gonna do with it?
Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.
Chandler: But I am willing to offer her all those things. This was just a plan, yknow? A way to throw her off course so that when I offered her all these things, shed be surprised!
(The phone rings and Chandler goes to get it)
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
Ross: Well with Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. She made no such promise.
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
Ross: (looking astonished) What? NO! I am not going to give them Ben!
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers, Rachel is entering.]
Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!
[Cut to Living Room]
Ross: (covering his ears and screaming) La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Okay, okay, yeah, I would have been devastated but, I would still want to be with you. Because its, I mean its you.
Chandler: Honey, weve been over this. I need to be facing the other way.