words in movies
Chandler: Okay, our news. My company has asked me to head up our office in Tulsa , so as of Monday I'm being officially relocated.
Joey: How long do you have to go for?
Chandler: They said it could be up to a year.
Rachel: (To Monica) Do you have to go?
Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)
Joey: Wait a minute, you can't go to Tulsa. Maybe you forgot, but we've got tickets to the Jets game next week.
Chandler: I'm sorry buddy, but I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it.
Rachel: Yeah. Just to be sure I'm gonna call Dr. Wiener.
Ross: Rach, you don't have to call whenever you have a little question, okay? Trust me, I know this.
Rachel: All right, I trust you. (Continues to dial)
Joey: Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot.
Chandler: Okay, I have news. You don't have to move to Tulsa. You can stay here and keep your job.
Chandler. Well my boss and I worked out a deal where I only have to be in Tulsa four days a week, so the other three I can be here with you.
Chandler: I'm sorry, are you just used to saying that?
Monica: Honey, thanks for trying to figure out a way, but if you're going to Tulsa, I wanna go with you.
Rachel: Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name?
Rachel: Argh! Why does everything happen to me?!
Ross: You know? Come to think of it, it does feel Rubella-like! (Walks back into his room.)
Phoebe: Of course not! And you're gonna love Mary Ellen. She's really smart and cute and funny, and I can't tell you how I know this, but she' not opposed to threesomes. So tell me some about my guy.
Joey: Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... (Looks through his address book) There's no guy in there!
Rachel: It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee?
Rachel: We've got to find a new pediatrician. Ross was getting sick last night, and I think Emma may have caught it.
Rachel: Oh, great! Well, then I'm gonna take Emma to see him. I wonder why Ross said that he died.
Monica: Yeah, he used to have this recurring nightmare, just really freaked him out.
Monica: That I was going to eat him.
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
Joey: (Checks him out) Okay! (Walks over to his table and sits down with him)
Joey: Everything is gonna be fine. Just follow my lead, okay? All you have to do is pretend to be Mike.
Phoebe: Wow, you guys go way back then. So what are you up to these days?
Mike: I always wanted to play piano professionally, and I figured if I don't do this now, I never will.
Joey: Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike.
Chandler: No, 'Slim Pickings', it's a barbecue restaurant. They're looking for a cook. Actually 'cook' may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for someone to shovel mesquite.
Chandler: Can I just say how much I appreciate you coming with me. When we get to Tulsa I'm taking you for a great dinner at 'Slim Pickings'. 'So Cheesy'? 'Whole Hog'? It's going to be tough to keep Kosher in Tulsa.
Monica: (On phone) Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo (sp?) is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo (sp?) 'I'll take it!'
Dr. Gettleman: (To a patient) I think you just have a cold, it's definitely not Strep.
Ross: You even have to ask?! (He grabs a lollypop out of a jar) (Sees Rachel) (To Rachel) He is alive!
Joey: Please, we're trying to have a conversation. (Pushes the wine glass closer to Mary Ellen.)
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.
Phoebe: (To Joey) You are unbelievable! I spent so much time finding the perfect girl for you, you know. Mary Ellen is really smart and cute and loose.
Phoebe: Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!
Joey: (To Mary Ellen) You're leaving too?
Chandler: Honey, we're leaving tomorrow you've still got a lot of packing to do.
Monica: I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Chandler: What happened to 'you can't live without me four days a week'?
Monica: Well, if you really think about it, I mean four days is not that long. I mean, I see you Monday before you go to work, and I see you Thursday when you get back, and I always work late on Tuesdays, so really if you think about it, it's really just one day. And well, if we can't make it one day, we've got real problems my friend.
Chandler: Yeah. I know it must be important to you when you start chattering like a monkey.
Monica: That's the nicest anyone has ever said to me!
Rachel: I know. (Pause) Ross still sees his pediatrician!!! (To Ross) I don't care!
Rachel: Ross, seriously! You've gotta go to an appropriate doctor.
Ross: Hey, I seem to remember someone bringing his security blanket to college!
Phoebe: (To Mike) Oh, you just caught me off guard! Yeah, that would be nice.
(Phoebe and Mike look at him, and he goes over to the counter.)
Ross: Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me.
Nurse: (To Ross) Rossy, we're ready for you.
Ross: Hmm, yeah. (To a random boy in the waiting room) Come on Ross jr. It's time to go in.
Boy: Mommy (He walks over to Sally.)
Chandler: Well, you got here just in time. I really have to go buddy. (They hug)
Monica: Promise to call me when you land.
Chandler: (Tries to hug Joey but J. moves away) What's the matter Joe?
Chandler: Any chance you are trying to pick a fight to make all this easier?
Monica: (Runs out to the hallway) Chandler, wait. It goes: Old job, (Raises her hand) new job, (Raises her hand really high) you. This is just something I have to do.
CUT TO: Monica and Chandler's apartment.
Joey: He had to board.
RACHEL: Hi. [Ross turns to Rachel and they hug]
Mike: Going go to the bathroom.
Rachel: I-I dont want your job. I-I dont. Ohh this is such a mistake. I did not make out with him. Nobody made out with him. I did not use my keycard yesterday. I dont even know how to use my keycard. (The elevator stops. Ralph steps on.)
(The ladder retracts, taking Joey up into the spaceship for his voyage to Blargon 7.)
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
(Three paleontologists walk by and Ross hugs Charlie trying not to be seen)
Monica: Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.
Chandler: Come on, you're going to Bloomingdale's with Julie? That's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship.
Jamie: This could be Gods way of telling us to eat at home.
Monica: Easy Rach, we'll find it. (To all) Won't we!
Monica: Now another way to organise your stuffed animals, is by size.
Chandler: (to Mon) So, Zack's pretty nice, uh?
Rachel: And youre still not attracted to him at all?
Phoebe: Thank you! (to Rachel) Oh, and I have something for you!
Chandler: I thought I had to make the jokes!
Chandler: (entering with Joey) (to Monica) Coffee house?
Ross: (to Charlie) Hey!
Amy: Ella wanted to go out, so we went shopping and got some sushi.
JOEY: Thanks.� (Joey and Chandler exit to the hall.� Joey pulls out the tickets and hands one to Chandler.)� Here's your ticket.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby.
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Chandler: So if you want people to see them, then by definition you're not having them taken out... say, at the break of dawn?
Rachel: No honey, it's okay! Listen, I'll got to Ross's and get the blender, you get all the margarita stuff ready.
Monica: Hey, you wanna go to see a movie?
Phoebe: (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here. (She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!
Dr. Long: Ten centimeters, youre about to become a mom.
Chandler: (To Monica) Turns out he is kinda funny.
Chandler: Oh, so thats why the priest threw holy water on me. (theres no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.
Joey: (he thinks a little, considering the option and seems to be quite satisfied) I like that! A sharing buffer! Yeah! I’ll order some extra fries! Maybe a plate of onion rings. Yeah. And a shrimp cocktail. And some buffalo wings. Maybe an individual pizza, uh? And some mozzarella sticks. (he looks absorbed in his food thoughts) What were we talking about?
Ross: Sure, Monica would have to give her up.
Benjamin: So good to see you.
Joey: Chandler? Forty-five minutes? Well, something is not right. I just can’t believe he would do this to Monica!
Monica: Just go get some! (Kisses him.) Go! (She runs to hide in the bathroom.)
Chandler: Are you asking permission to break the pact?
Benjamin (to Ross): You weren't there!
Benjamin: Oh, well, likewise. Actually, not likewise. I've never heard of you until this morning, but, it's nice to be nice!
Chandler: And we just sit here. I mean if I die the only way people would even know I was here, would be by the ass print on this chair! Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge!
Ross: See, Rach, uh, see, I don't think that swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't. I think that what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process.
Chandler: No. But uh, Joey has, and I usually talk to them in the morning time.
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Actually, I was about to bid on this lovely trip to Paris.
Monica: But I want to.
Amanda: (To Phoebe) Smell my neck! (Phoebe does so) It's not perfume! It's me! It's my natural scent!
Rachel: But I don't want you to.
Rachel: Aaah... Ross, actually there's something that I really need to talk to you about.
Ross: I dont know. I mean I-I guess I could. Its just that we didnt really end things such good terms. And if I go over there Id be ignoring the one thing she asked me to do when we broke up, jump up my own ass and die. (Walks away.)
Monica: (to chandler) Twenty bucks says they're married within the month.
Chandler: (now yelling) (pretending to look shocked) I did!
Donny: Now Gene I must remind you, you need all six of these to stay in the game, all right? Describe for Joey things you find in your refrigerator.
(Hearing her brother's voice, Monica gets up to stand behind Chandler, followed by Rachel.)
(Joey walks up to Cecilia Monroe who plays Jessica.)
Joey: Oh comelook, when I was a kid my dads company gave season tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad never won! Of course, he wasnt in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that!
JOEY: Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.'
Monica: Okay, fine but please dont be upset! Okay? I was really depressed okay? And really drunk! I just wanted something stupid and meaningless. I just wanted just sex. So, when I went to your room that night I was actually looking for Joey. (Joey smiles.)
Cliff: Id have to say the talking gorilla, because at least I can explain to him that youre making me eat him.
Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).
Joey: (finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (Starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
Phoebe: Yeah and yeah, and it would probably be better than the last telephone job I had. Yknow, I probably wouldnt have to say spank as much. (Monica and Ross are shocked.)
ROSS: It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird.
Monica: You used to tell girls you were a Kennedy. (being sat down) Ooh, uh, thanks. Wow, little tight, isn�t it? How d�you get a bigger table? You-you had a big table, but they made you move. Huh-huh, shut up Monica. Whoo, I suppose that Chandler will have the smoked duck.
Monica: Maybe you don't need him to propose to you, maybe you can propose to him!
PRODUCER: Honey, uh we, we can talk about this. It's just that it's costing about a hundred dollars a minute to be in here.
Rachel: Well, actually Gunther sent me. Youre not allowed to have cups out here, its a thing. (takes her cup and goes back inside)
A Casino Boss: Hey! Tribbiani! Get back to work! Break time's over!
Rachel: Well, I did my best to convince him that Im not some crazy girl who is dying to get marriedIm just going through a hard time.
Chandler: Yeah, I mean were gonna have to move around some furniture to make room for my chair. (Kisses her and heads into the living room.)
Ross: I have to break up with Charlie?
Joey: No. They really like me over there. They want to do a big profile on me, but I said no.
(He goes to the bathroom and after he leaves Rachel goes through his coat and grabs the keys along with a $20 bill. The woman from before watches her do this.)
Mark: Sure, sure. (To Ross) What's with the chair. (Rachel signals him not to mention she's been fired)
Ross: Well how much time before she absolutely has to start getting ready?
Woman: (to her friend) He has the most amazing Porsche under there!
Monica: Yes, we are. (Chandler is frantically trying to get Monica to correct her.)
Chandler: Yeah, I miss that too. I tell you what; from now on well make time to hang out with each other.
Rachel: (yelling) Just sit over there!! (Points to the port side.)
Rachel: (laughs) Oh, I'm sure gonna miss pretending to laugh at your weird jokes that I don't get.
Monica: Rachel! Im never gonna think its okay for you to cheat on your husband!
Ross: (enters) It's me. Ron. (Mr. Zellner looks annoyed) Look, I um, I now Rachel turned you down but I think there is a way you might be able to get her to come back.
Monica: Oh, of course, it's so nice to see you again, Zack!
Chandler: (to Ross) Maybe you do that next time you get married!
Amy: (yelling from outside) Rachel!! Open up!! It's your sister!! (she knocks on the door again) I have to talk to you!!
Rachel: Well, I was going to, but then I figured, you know... you're food is so delicious and perfect, you can never have too many of those pumpkin things.
Monica: Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There arent any message youve forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently youre not very good at it! I
Luisa: (Out of shot) Here, monkey. Here, monkey! Here, monkey! (Marcel runs to the door and into Luisa's cage, which she slams shut) Gotcha.
(they shake hands the way friends would. There's a muffin on the table, and Ross breaks off a piece and wants to put it in his mouth.)
Evil Bitch: Dont you talk to my husband like that you stupid bastard!
(Ross bangs his fists together to tell Chandler off, like what was learned last season. Read about it here.)
(Ross is now preoccupied with the spider, and forgets that Rachel is still using the swing. While trying to get rid of the spider, he stands in front of Rachel, who bumps into him, throwing him on the ground again.)
Chandler: If only there was something in your head to control the things you say. (Joey nods his agreement.)
Monica: I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding!
Phoebe: Him youre friends with. (Starts looking at the children trying to find Jack and a teacher notices her.)
Mike: Look, if I wanna see Phoebe and she wants to see...
Phoebe: Yeah That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)
Mr. Treeger: (measures the top of the doorframe) Whoa! This looks like an all day job, Ill have to cancel my yoga class. (Ross walks up.) Hey Ross!
Rachel: Okay, no, that's not the right decision. That's not, that's not right, no Ross-Ross, come on! I mean, that woman made you miserable! Okay, Ross, do you really want to get back into that?
Ross (to Emma): Ready sweety?
[Scene: Professor Sherman's office, Ross is relating to Professor Sherman]
Rachel: You gave her a key to your apartment?!
Joey: (to Ross) Why cant I find that?
Chandler: Don't listen to him, he's in a really bad mood! (lets her in)
Phoebe (to Mike): Gay, go.