words in movies
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
C.H.E.E.S.E: Oh yeah? Well then how come I cant get my VCR to stop blinking 12:00?
(They all make happy faces as they are unable to express their feelings verbally. Finally, the phone rings and the race to answer it is won by Monica.)
Joey: (on phone) Mom, so what did you think? (He walks away allowing the gang a chance to figure out what theyre gonna say.)
Ross: Oh great! That means Im stuck with, "So, we were watching you in there (Points to the TV) and you were sittin right here! Whoa!"
Phoebe: I dont know. I dont know. I cant lie to him again. Oh no Ino! Im just gonna press my breasts up against him.
Joey: (hangs up the phone) Wow! Well, my folks really liked it! So what-what did you guys think? (Phoebe smiles, walks up to him, and presses her breasts against him.) It wasnt that good.
Rachel: (entering, excitedly) Oh! Hi you guys, oh my God! Youll never gonna believe happened to me today! I am sitting in my office and
Rachel: Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. (To Monica and Phoebe) It was Ralph Lauren! (Monica and Phoebe gasp) Ralph Lauren walked into my office!
Rachel: (ignoring him) Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that hes so happy with my work that he wants me to be the new merchandising manager for polo retail.
Rachel: I get to hire my own assistant!
Joey: (jumps up) WellI got a head rush from standing up to fast right there.
Rachel: No. Yeah, and I know that. All right, well thank you so much for coming in it was nice to meet you.
Tag: Its lame, I know. But Im a goal-oriented person, very eager to learn
Rachel: Okay, hold on just a second. (She grabs a camera out of the desk and takes his picture.) Im sorry, its for human resources, everybody has to do it. Could you just stand up please?
Chandler: No-no-no-no. (Waves him away as Monica and Phoebe enter whispering to each other.) Hey! (Monica shushes him.)
Phoebe: (To Monica) Anyway, I should go. Okay, bye.
Monica: (To Chandler) Hey sweetie.
Chandler: Secret? Married people arent supposed to have secrets between one another. We have too much love and respect for one another.
Monica: Really? Okay, so why dont you tell me what happened to Ross Junior year at Disneyland?
Chandler: So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, were on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
Rachel: No, I-I just dont know how you decide who to hire. I mean Ive got it narrowed down to two people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then theres this guy
Rachel: I love him. Hes so pretty I wanna cry! I dont know what to do. Tell me what to do.
Phoebe: Come on you know what to do! You hire the first one! You dont hire an assistant because theyre cute, you hire them because theyre qualified.
Chandler: Let me see this guy. (Phoebe hands him the picture.) W-H-Wow! Dont show this to Monica! And dont tell her about the W-H-Wow!
[Scene: The Days of Our Lives producers office, Joey is entering to find Terry there.]
Terry: Good to see you again!
Joey: Its been a while, huh? Wow, its funny these halls look smaller then they used to.
Joey: So! Stryker Remoray huh? When do you want me to start?
Terry: Everybody has to audition.
Joey: Yknow Terry, I-I dont really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series, (Pause) with a robot.
Tag: I just wanted to come by and thank you for not laughing in my face yesterday. And I noticed there arent any plants in your office so I wanted to bring you your first (Notices her plant) There is a plant in your office.
Tag: Gotcha. Thanks again for meeting with me. (Starts to leave.)
Rachel: Me either. Umm, all right, first thing I need you to do is go downstairs and find a women named Hilda and tell her to go home.
Chandler: Oh its always nicer to here than, "Aw crap! You again!"
Ross: Oh, nothin much. Just trying to figure out what Im gonna do for dinner.
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
Monica: (trying not to laugh) Im not laughing.
(Ross and Chandler move closer to her and she starts laughing again.)
Ross: (To Chandler) You told her!
Ross: (To Monica) Look, okay-okay I had food poisoning! Its not like I choose to do it! Its not likeIts not like I said, "Umm, what would make this ride more fun?!"
Ross: (To Chandler) How could you tell her?!
Monica: (running up to Ross) What happened in Atlantic City?!
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what youre thinking, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and youre right, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Monica: (To Chandler) You kissed a guy?!! Oh my God.
Chandler: Ho-ho, so hard we had to throw out your underwear again?
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
Chandler: You wanna tell secrets?! Okay! Okay! In college, Ross used to wear leg warmers!
Ross: Once Monica was sent to her room without dinner, so she ate the macaroni off a jewelry box shed made.
Monica: Ross used to stay up every Saturday night to watch Golden Girls!
Chandler: (To Monica) Of course it is. (Mouths to Ross) Wowwhoa!
Monica: Chandler one time wore my underwear to work!
Joey: How could this happen to me?! Yesterday I had two TV shows! Today, I got nothin!
Rachel: Well wait a minute, what happened to Days of Our Lives?
Joey: Because they wanted me to audition!
[Scene: Terrys office, Joey has come to beg for a second chance.]
Joey: Wait! Terry! WaitLookWait I-I Look, Im really sorry about before. I was an idiot thinking Im too big to audition for you. You gotta give me another chance.
[Cut to a hospital room set on the Days of Our Lives stage. Two nurses are standing next to a bed with a man whose face is completely covered in bandages and reading his chart.]
Dr. Stryker Remoray: Good morning. (He walks over to the bed, leans down, and whispers to him.) Drake, its your brother Stryker. Can you hear me?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are sitting there and not talking to each other.]
Ross: And in my defense, the cleaning lady came on to me!
Chandler: (To Monica) You have no trouble telling time now right?
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Rachel: Oh, did you not want people to know that?
Tag: But Im not gay. And I especially wouldnt want you to think I was gay.
Rachel: Ohh, you can say. Come on, I dont want you to feel like you cant tell me things. (Motions for him to sit down.)
Tag: Id love to ask out your friend Phoebe.
Monica: (looking very serious) I need to talk to you.
Joey: your right! I love my life! (He gets up to go and speak to the girl and he turns back and sits down) I actually did sleep with her.
Phoebe: Great, okay, what are you gonna change it to?
Ross: What a weird way to kick me when Im down.
Monica: Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. (Goes to the counter) It was right here, where is it?
Monica: Okay, just back off mister! Whoa. (Pause) Cause I am ready to have a baby. I just want Joey to be the father.
Rachel: Well, Chandler, youre gonna have to tell him.
Rachel: Well, then I get to give him the cell phone.
Phoebe: We were at the game, and this guy proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen thing...
Receptionist: Well, heres a schedule of whats coming up. (Hands it to him.)
Rachel: Okay great, hold on a sec! (She runs to her room and returns carrying a huge bag of laundry.) Oh, here you go! You don't mind do ya? That would really help me out a lot! Thanks!
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Phoebe: Oh, well what are you doing here? Are you about to do it? (Gasps) Is it Gunther?
Chandler: All right. I will go out and I will try to find something for her, okay?
Ross: (To Rachel) I wasnt talking to you.
Ross: Why...Why should I? I mean if she wants to move on, that's fine!
SUSIE: Um, so listen, how many times am I gonna have to touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date.
Ross: Did you tell your sister to ask me out?
Phoebe: Wow! See, and I didn't think you'd be able to come up with anything.
ROSS: No, you, ya know there's no need to make it u. . . how?
Joey: Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor.
Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.
Monica: (To Erica) Oh my God, he's beautiful. Thank you so much.
Joey: (pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. Thats called a scrum, okay? Its kinda like a huddle.
Joey: Aww, I don't want to see that!
Mr. Treeger: Yeah, it happened to me once. I was just flipping through the channels and bam! It was like finding money.
Joey: No way! I've been going to the guy for 12 years.
Ross: No, I barely even got to three Mississippi.
Monica: Thanks. (Goes to fetch him.)
Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
Phoebe: (running out) Wait! Wait! Hi! Listen, Ross can I just talk to you for just a second?
Joey: (Looking around) Uhh do you happen to have a hot girl in there?
Rachel: Okay. (Grabs the blender and starts to drink.)
Joey's Hand Twin: Please, please take him too. (Motions to Joey.)
Chandler: I'd keep an eye on him! We have to find out which one the father is.
Mike: OK, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I think I just saw a rat in your cupboard.
Rachel: Ok, well this is like that...in no way. I had a...I had a dream last night that I wanted to kiss Joey.
Monica: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and shes the only one left!
Rachel: Yeah! Its weird. But the thing is need to find a date.
(Rachel comes back to the gate.)
Phoebe: Okay, dont give me a reason to get mad, okay
(Rachel, Ross and Ross go to the bathroom)
Rachel: Okay. Honey, I would love for you to go with me. (Ross has a worried look on his face) What?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler is trying to listen through the door.]
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Bonnie: (getting up and leaving) (to Ross) Okay, Ill see you in our room.
Monica: I dont want things to change! Do you?
Chandler: I know you probably dont want to go out with me, yknow because I make too many jokes and Ive never been in a serious relationship and I guess Im not technically a "doctor "
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
Joey: All right, turn around, I got to get a look at this thing.
Chandler: Oh, dont thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work.
Frank: Yeah, y'know I feel like I can really talk to you cause y'know youre my sister, y'know.
Rachel: Oh, good, good! We had this idea to make a birthday video for Emma and we'll give it to her when she is 18.
Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there; Phoebe recites the last verse of a poem to Joey. This poem is known as "The Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore, but it seems that it's rather "Account of a visit from St. Nicholas" by Henry Livingston.]
Monica: Yeah sure, nature called, she wanted to see who else did.
Chandler: But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
Chandler: Oh, uhm... I have to work too. Yeah, I'm stuck at the office all day.
Mrs. Green: No. Sweetie, youre gonna be fine. (Starts to get up.)
Rachel: (To Ross) Fine! (To the salesman) We went out.
Phoebe: (entering from Rachel's room, wearing a huge bow to cover the stain) Okay, I'm ready.
Phoebe: Oh yeah well, Im sorry about that too, but what are you going to do?
Rachel: (breaking up) Were just really very excited about this charity event that we have to go to.
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
Ross: (to his hands) Way to go guys. Yknow, you-you were really good at the stuff too.
Chandler: See my friend-my friend, Rachel, she wants to be set up.
Phoebe: Yep! Okay, gotta go, talk to you later.
Monica: Yes there is! He's black and white and shaggy and [Cut to Monicas apartment] he's sitting next to Rachel and licking Rachel's hand.
Ross: No Phoebe, dont look! You dont want to see whats under there!!
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense. Yeah. Cause you already told her you love her and she didnt say it back, then she called you and told you that theres another guy, so yeah, go to London thatll scare her!
RACHEL: Now I'm mommy in this little play? Alright look, I refuse to get sucked into this like, weird little Geller dimension thing OK. So I'm gonna go and take a nice long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy. [goes in the bathroom]
Phoebe: Ohh, you are so lucky! (To Chandler) Hey! So, where's Monica? Did you guys make up?
Donny: O-kay... Henrietta, you didn't get all the points you needed, so that means Gene, you are going to the winners circle to try for ten thousand dollars! (Gene is clapping his hands looking very happy and so is Joey) And you're gonna be going there with Joey Tribbiani (Both of their smiles fade away instantly)
Joey: Soon, soon, I'm gonna be on soon. There I am! (Points to the screen, of course it isn't him.)
Joeys Sister: Excuse yourself, and go to the bathroom.
Phoebe: Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
Joey: Would you guys want to come down tomorrow and watch me tape the show?
Chandler: No, just the months you actually want to live here.
Ross: So Rachel called. Wants to see me. Going over in a minute.
Rachel: No-no-no! No-no-no! Please Ross, I cant! I cant do it! (Starts to freak out.) Its just gonna freak me out!!!
Phoebe: Umm, okay I would like to talk to you about your toner needs.
Ross: (to Elizabeth) And that is why we cannot see each other anymore.
ROSS: Ah?� (Mike nods.� Another pause.)� Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about.
[Scene: Carol and Susans, there is a knock on the door and Carol opens it to reveal Rachel.]
(He goes into his room and closes the door. Rachel goes to pick it up and )
(Chandler turns to Mike and gives him a "See what I mean?" look)
Robin: No-no, its ooozing, oozing. (to Rachel) Could you pass me the cream? Is there anyOh, theres the cream.
Chandler: Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around. Do you have any Chap Stick?
Phoebe: Yeah... ooh... wow... Even started to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to... do this with. Here you go. (Both Phoebe and Mike look really proud.)
Rachel: I a not gonna lie to you, I'm pretty sick
Chandler: Ooh, let me talk to him!
Rachel: I mean what if this keeps happening? Y'know, they'll-they'll be outside smoking, making all the decisions and I'll just be up in my office breathing my stupid clean air, y'know? And then when the day comes when Kim wants to promote one of us, who do you think she's gonna pick? Me or Smokey Smokerson?
Gary: Wait! Hold on! (He goes over to Phoebe and gives her a kiss.) (To Phoebe) Hi!
Rachel: (to the driver) Okay, stop-stop! Phoebe?!
The Cute Guy: Wow! Uh, this is kind of embarrassing. I was actually coming over to talk to your friend.
Cailin: (to Ross) Hi! Remember me?
Chandler: So uh, man, are you gonna go to the play with me tonight?
Mike: Yeah, I understand, but before you do, she really needs to hear this.
Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.