words in movies
Chandler: Uh honey, I know you dont like to relinquish control
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there as someones cell phone starts to ring with one of those fancy ring tones.]
Phoebe: Oh you did? (To Rachel) He did it! He did it!
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Rachel: Well, I havent discussed it with him yet, but I know hes gonna be relieved. Last week, he brought this girl over and I started talking to her about morning sickness and then I showed her pictures from my pregnancy book.
Ross: Of course! Uh yeah, she and I would talk all the time in-in (Rachel pokes her head in and starts to look around) the laundry room. (Pushes Rachel out of the way.)
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: You speak Dutch? (In Dutch) Zeer vereerd een vriend van mijn moeder te ontmoeten. (Translation: Im very honored to meet a friend of my mother.)
Monica: (To Chandler) I love her.
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
[Scene: Erics Apartment, hes opening the door to reveal Phoebe.]
Eric: Sorry, I just saw Ursula. I had to give the engagement ring back.
Eric: No wait! Theres only a problem when I look at you. (Sits down on the couch.) Oh I got it! I got it. (Puts his hands to his eyes.)
Eric: Not really. You youre blurry, but you still look like Ursula. Youre Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe If I-if I just dont look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It it works. Im not, Im not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldnt be this hard. Yknow? This is our first date yknow? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand? and yknow first kisses and (He kisses her) second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
Joey: (entering) Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools?
Ross: Okay I-I just have to stop by my place first.
Joey: To tape the game? You do this every time Ross, youre not gonna be on TV!
Ross: No-no, I-I have to see if this apartment became available.
Ross: Yeah, but when the baby comes shes gonna want to move.
Ross: Yeah, you didnt expect her to live there with a baby did you?
Monica: Oh. (Holds on to it.) (To herself) Youre not gettin it.
(Brenda bends down to use the dustpan and Monica leans over to look for the stain, but leans so far over she falls out of the chair.)
(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and uses it to get up on the counter in order to clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to see the stain. That doesnt work so she sticks her head between Brendas legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and traps Monicas head between her legs.)
Joey: Ooh. (Notices the pizza, grabs a slice, and takes a bite.) So umm, I was talkin to Ross and he said you were looking for a new place.
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Rachel: Honey, its not just a matter of where you put it. I mean a baby changes everything. They cry all the time. I mean imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when theres a screaming baby around.
Rachel: Honey, its so sweet that you want me to stay, but I-I cant do that to you. I mean it would disrupt your entire life.
Joey: I love living with you so much. I just wish things didnt have to change.
Phoebe: Ooh, oh no! I have to go! I have a massage appointment.
Chandler: To see her pants?
Monica: Fine. (Brenda comes in to use the bathroom and adjusts her pink bra strap on the way.) Shes wearing my bra!
Monica: Heres the plan! Okay? Im going to leave you get a look at Brendas bra!
Monica: I would do it but she thinks Im attracted to her!
[Scene: Mrs. Verhoevens Apartment, Ross is back to inquire about the elder Verhoevens health or lack there of.]
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Thats so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? Im sure it would mean a lot to her.
Eric: Well I was just so excited to see you.
Eric: No-no its not! I dont want to lose you! Its-its like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was youYeah it is too weird.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is wiping the coffee table and Chandler is trying to look at her bra and leans over on the coffee table to get a good look.]
Rachel: You gave them to me!
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh . That-that-thats really just to show where the baby would go. Yknow why dont I hold on to him so that theres no confusion? (Takes him back, sets him on the chair, and apologizes to him.)
Rachel: But Joey the baby is going to be crying, its going to be loud.
Rachel: What about all the women you want to bring home?
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Joey: Yeah! All rightLook, I know sometimes itll be hard, okay? But, itll also be really really great. Please Rachel! I-I-I really want you to stay.
Rachel: I want me to stay too.
Dedicated to the Memory of Pearl Harmon
Ross: Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I dont care, (To Rachel) because you got the apartment. Yes!
(They run to the bedroom and close the door carefully just as Joey enters.)
(They both go to Chandlers bedroom to get his coat.)
Monica: (to everybody) BECAUSE OF OUR MEDDLING! Alright?
Chandler: Hey, come on, you came through, you did what you had to do. That is very dad.
Ross: It used to be. Now she doesnt really have a face. Smokin body though.
[Scene: Richards Apartment, hes smoking a cigar and reading a book as there is a knock on the door. He gets up and opens the door to reveal ]
Rachel: Oh, she wants to see me tomorrow...Oh, she sounded really weird, I gotta call Barry... (Does so, on phone) Hi, it's me, I just.. Mindy!! Mindy! Hi! No, I figured that's where you'd be!
Ross: You weren't there! Okay, maybe this is something that I-I'm supposed to seize! Y'know?
Joey: Okay. Now youre gonna want to have sex with me when you hear it, but you have to remember it is just the story.
[Scene: Camera fades to one of the band members playing guitar at the wedding. The chapel is full of guest. A groomsmen escorts a bridesmaid down the isle. Joey is waiting with Mrs. Waltham to escort he down the isle. A cellular phone rings.]
Monica: Umm, this is going to be fun. Watch me freak out Chandler. Honey?
Phoebe: Oh really. Okay. let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffee house, I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone-who took it?
Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Dr. Green: The wedding! Theres going to be a wedding. Young lady, dont you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is going to be a bastard! (Rachel pauses) Rachel Karen Green, tell me there is gonna be a wedding!!
Phoebe: Ooh, that is silly. (gets up) Ill go up there, Ill tell him to keep it down.
Monica: Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with, I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. Now, no matter how much we meddle, we will never be able to un-meddle the thing that you meddled up - in the first place!
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im sorry I just couldnt tell her all those things you wanted me to tell her. And yknow we got to talking and I
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Ross: Just a sandwich? Look, I am 30 years old, I'm about to be divorced twice and I just got evicted! That sandwich was the only good thing going on in my life! Someone ate the only good thing going on in my life!
Joey: Mine's is to Lilian Myers.
Chandler: (sighs and gestures to explain) There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!
Ross: So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?
The Cooking Teacher: Well, hats off to the chef.
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
Rachel: Nope. We took her to lunch.
Ross: Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didnt want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete cant.
Rachel: All right. ALL RIGHT! I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna go to Paris.
Ross: No, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you. For example: hair drier, no, no, no, but shampoo and conditioners, yes, yes, yes. (pause) Now, the salt shaker is off-limits, but the salt (he opens the salt shaker and pours the salt into his hand) I wish I'd thought this through.
Phoebe: Anyway, you did what you had to do. I'm okay.
Chandler: (to Robert) So ah, isnt a bit cold out for shorts?
Ross: Look, Rachel, this is poker. I play to win, alright? In order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me to be a 'nice guy,' OK? Cause once those cards are dealt... (claps hands three times)
Monica: No-no, wait! Just let me finish, okay? This isnt something that we just, we just impulsively decided in-in Vegas, this is something we both really want. And it is going to happen.
Ross: Yeah, y'know what? I'll take it myself, thank you! (He signs the form and hands it back to the salesman.) All right Rach, let's go! (He picks up one end of the couch.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
Phoebe: Oh, we're just... we're sad to go so we're just saying goodbye to the hotel. (hugs the wall) I love you... Paradise Hotel, Golf resort and Spa... (she walks away from the wall)
Rachel: I got to figure out what Im going to wear.
Mike: I've missed you so much! No, I'm not gonna ask you to get back together because I know we want different things, but just to be with you one more night.
Amy: So you're going to give me the baby?
Rachel: (We see a flashback as Rachel describes what happened.) All right, we were shaking hands and he kinda leaned toward me Y'know maybe he was going to open the door, but I totally miss read him and I uhhh (The flashback shows that she kissed him on the cheek.)
Monica: Wow! Thats great! Dad must really like you, he doesnt ask just anyone to play.
Monica: Why do I have to decide?
Monica: Rachel used to live in that room.
(They walk on. Chandler and Joey start to talk but Ross stops and whines.)
Rachel: That is right and traditionally the daddy is supposed to give the mummy a present but I am prepared to let that go.
Mike: Ok, unless you're not gonna try to get me to join a cult are you?
Joey: Hey! Tag's still talking to the police.
Rachel: Oh and it was great to see you too. And you look fantastic, although you missed a button.
MONICA: Well, we don't really have to decide anything right now, do we?
Joey: (very satisfied and smiling) That's what I wanted to hear! Because she's family, ok, and now you're gonna be family, and there is nothing more important in the whole world, than family.
Monica: What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and-and-and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him!
Phoebe: Well, you said that you had customers lined up in the street, so I am here to entertain!
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
Elizabeth: Uh no, theyre still here but I think Im about to leave.
RACH: Ohh, well, isn't that just lovely. That's something the two of you will be able to enjoy for a really, really, really, really, really long time.
Joshua: Oh, that-that would be great. So you didnt even get to Italy?
PHOEBE: Uh huh, what is happening to the world? I mean, no no no, 'cause ET leaves, and and Rocky loses, Charlotte dies.
Monica: Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You're gonna love it!
Ross: What can I do? One person wants to break-up, you break-up.
Gavin: Right. Right. Ross. So what's the deal with you guys? I don't want to get in the middle of anything
Ross: (British) Come again? Whats-whats this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, Im-Im not English. Im from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. Im sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because Im-Im hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression
Joey: (to Chandler) Heard about the leg burnin huh?
Monica: (to Phoebe) Would you stop?
Ross: (puts his head near the baby) Hello! (to Dr. Franzblau) Oh, sorry.
Rachel: Oh, its so sad they never had a chance to meet.
Phoebe: Uh-huh! Ross invited us all to watch.
[Scene: Ross's Building, Joey is trying to find the hot girl's apartment. So he's walking up the hallway counting doors. He comes to what he thinks is the right one and knocks on it. Ross opens the door, it's his apartment.]
Ross: Its just, my part seemed to be over pretty quickly and then, and then there was a lot of waiting around.
Phoebe: Well, I guess well just have to put the wall back up.
Rachel: My God! What happened to you?
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Rachel: (entering with Paolo, arm in arm) Everybody, this is Paolo. Paolo, I want you to meet my friends. This is Monica.
Joey: Hey, it hasn't come to that yet.
(She grabs her bag and leaves, Joey moves a little quicker to his apartment, leaving Monica and Chandler alone.)
(Monica starts to fluff a pillow.)
Ross: You've really crossed the line here, but that's okay, it's ok 'cause I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software and a stack of gay porn. That's right! Your coming out is about to get real graphic.
Joey: I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.
Ross: (pause) I am a doctor! Yknow what? Im just gonna go and talk to Rachel myself.
Phoebe: What a mean thing to say! I would never tell you its not your birthday!
Monica: Because I don't have the money or the equipment to handle something that big on such short notice. I mean there's no way.
Chandler: Yeah, come with us. You'll see how close it is to the city.
Ross: Yeah, well excuse me for wanting to be with my girlfriend on our anniversary, boy what an ass am I.
Monica: No I totally disagree. No I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that. Such you an actor. Not that you need to,your eyebrows are...
Ross: All right I guess I'm, gonna go pack. (Starts to leave)
[Scene: Ross's now empty apartment, he is spackling some holes shut as the gang comes to apologize.]
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
Mr. Geller: Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on how to get pregnant. (He slides them under the door.)
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
(Monica just looks at him, and Rachel wants to laugh)
Joey: Saw the Porsche out there Mon, lookin good. When do I get to take that baby out again?
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
Ross: (To Joey) I cant believe you told her I was going to propose!
Lauren: (laughing) Oh, youre so funny. Listen, umm, what are you doing after rehearsals? Do you want to get a drink, or something?
Joey: (entering) Look, what am I gonna do? I'm not flirting but still, I'm drawing her to me like - like a moth to a flame! (Tries to put his feet on the coffee table...they won't reach and looks around.) What the hell's going on over here?!?!? (Points to Chandler) Monica's gonna kill you! Look I need your help, I have to do something to-to repel this woman! Wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys repel women all the time.
Amy: Oh! It's Ross... Hey Ross! (She says hey to the guy at the falafel stand, whose only similarity with Ross would be his black hair.) Hello-oo Ross! (to Rachel) He's rude!
Joey: Nope, got it and I got yours (Pointing to Jack) too.
Phoebe: Somebody went to college. Wow. (Cliff gets uncomfortable) What is it? Im sorry. (She moves her arm, which was resting on the same pillow his leg is.)
(Phoebe quietly wanders in, to join the tableau.)
Phoebe: What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets. And the wind sure made it fun.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, Joey is now trying to get his car out while Ross is directing him.]
Joey: Well, I've been thinking about this whole commercial thing, y'know me going up against Ben, the two of us competing, and that can't lead to anything good. So, I think I'm just gonna step aside. I'm gonna tell them that I won't audition.