words in movies
Rachel: Ok, ok, that's fine. Fine. Hey, I'm sorry about that spill before. (picks up the tip he leaves) Only $98.50 to go.
Monica: Hey. Ross, did you know Mom and Dad are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving?
Monica: No, I just talked to them.
(Ross comes back to the couch.)
Ross: (to Monica) Well, you were right. How can they do this to us, huh? It's Thanksgiving.
Monica: You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?
Monica: Yeah. Rach, are you thinking you're gonna make it to Vail?
Rachel: Absolutely. Shoop, shoop, shoop. Only a hundred and two dollars to go.
Ross: Well, I'm off to Carol's.
Ross: (mimicking) Ooh, ooh. Because she's my ex-wife, and will probably want to bring her, ooh, ooh, lesbian life partner.
Ross: Oh, I uh, just came by to pick up my skull. Well, not mine, but...Susan: Come in.
Ross: Thanks. Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class, and I have to get it back to the museum.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
Susan: Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.
Ross: You're not serious, I mean, you really... you really talk to it?
Susan: Yeah, all the time. I want the baby to know my voice.
Susan: But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy.
Ross: Look, if she's talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this.
Chandler: I'd just like to say that I'm totally behind this experiment. In fact, I'd very much like to butter your head.
Joey: (to Monica) We did?
Monica: (to Joey) You owe me 20 bucks.
Chandler: We just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I have--and I remember this part vividly--a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they're getting divorced.
Chandler: Yes. It's very difficult to appreciate a Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse.
[Scene: The subway, Joey spots a gorgeous woman waiting. He goes up to her.]
Joey: Uh, hi. We uh, we used to work together.
Joey: Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. (pretends to spray cologne) Aramis? Aramis?
Joey: I'm serious. You're amazing. You know when to spritz, when to lay back.
Girl: Really? You don't know what that means to me.
Girl: I just remembered, I have to do something.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is standing in the doorway, not wanting to participate in the festivities.]
Chandler: No, I prefer to keep a safe distance from all this merriment.
Ross: Ok, I'm off to talk to my unborn child.
Phoebe: Well, 'cause then they'd be like my mom used to make them, you know, before she died.
Rachel: Ok, good-bye you guys. Thanks for everything. (she starts to leave, and hits everyone with her skis) Oh, sorry! Oh, sorry!
Chandler: No, no, the actual cartoon character. Of course the balloon. It's all over the news. Right before he reached Macy's, he broke free and was spotted flying over Washington Square Park. I'm goin' to the roof, who's with me?
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Ross is preparing to talk to her belly.]
Ross: Ok, ok, here we go. (he crouches down near her stomach) Ok, where am I talking to, here? I mean, uh, well, there is one way that seems to offer a certain acoustical advantage, but...
Carol: So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it.
Phoebe: Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down? I mean, that was just mean.
Rachel: We're waiting for you to open the door. You got the keys.
(Joey leaves to get the copy of the key.)
[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Carol is reading, Ross is talking to her stomach.]
Carol: Look, you don't have to talk to it. You can sing to it if you want.
Ross: Oh, please. I am not singing to your stomach, ok?
Ross: Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin' down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! (to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that?
Ross: (singing) Hey, hey, you're my baby, and I can't wait to meet you. When you come out I'll buy you a bagel, and then we'll go to the zoo.
Monica: Why? Because everything is my responsibility? Isn't it enough that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? You know, everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I'm making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Nooooo, no, no! (starting to cry) Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots, and it's my first Thanksgiving, and it's all burned, and, and I... I...
Monica: Oh, really? So why was I busting my ass to make this delicious Thanksgiving dinner?
(They all run to the window.)
Phoebe: Ooh, you guys have to make a wish.
Chandler: I'd like to propose a toast. Little toast here, ding ding. I know this isn't the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Ross: And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas.
Chandler: So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, were on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
Monica: Windows are clean, candels are lit. Uh, belt's to tight, gotta change the belt. Did I turn the fish? (goes over to the kitchen to check on the dinner) No, cause I made lasagne. (to Rachel) Am I out of control?
Cecilia: Is that supposed to be me?
Phoebe: Well, of course I would want to see you. I I think about you all the time.
Phoebe: Yeah. I just need you to bring me some photos of Ross.
Monica: All you had to do was buy the card!
Monica: Rach, you know that birthing tape you wanted to see? Its here.
Ross: (To All) Was I talking to her about gas?
Monica: I have no moves. (He moves in to kiss her and she laughs and backs away.) Okay, whatcha doin there?! (Giggles.) Oh yknow what? Im sorry, this is just too weird.
Monica: No, no. It felt nice to acknowledge this. (pats Chandler on his leg)
Dr. Harad: Oh, no-no-no, it's a good one! Fonzie plays the bongos. All right, are you ready? It's time to start pushing.
Phoebe: (sits down next to her and hugs her) Oh no.
RACH: All right, you know what? This isn't funny anymore. There's something about me on that piece of paper and I want to see it.
Joey: You know what I want? I want a lot of things! I want to be with the woman I love on Valentines Day! And I want her to love me back! And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that thats never going to happen!
Chandler: No, no, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk.
Joey: (using a laptop) Oh, Monica and Chandler's recommendation. I want it to sound smart but.. I don't know any big words or anything, so...
Chandler: Well, I just thought itd make me feel good to do something nice for my friend.
Rachel: Okay. All right. (Gets up.) Honey listen. When I tell you what Im about to tell you, I need you to remember that we are all here for you and that we love you.
Monica: I'm sorry, I'll give it back to you.
[Ad break. Time lapse. Still at party at Chandler and Joey's. Rachel is talking to Chandler and Ross.]
Monica: Rach, theres something uh, important I have to tell you.
Monica: Don't you have to pee?
Monica: So you gave in and decided to call someone?
Chandler: Okay... (returning to the board) ..whose turn is it?
Mr. Kaplan: Come on over here, sweetheart. (they walk over to a storage closet)
[cut to the living room where Mrs. Burkart is now performing.]
Phoebe: Oh, poor little Tooty is scared to death. We should find his owner.
[cut to the guys team.]
Monica: No! No, no... wait! We didn't lose. (turns to Chandler) The rules clearly stated that the last one to cross the finish line was the loser. Well, our dog never crossed the finish line, so technically...
MIKE: Wha . . .?� Go back?� To the "land where time stands still"?
Emily: I wish I didnt have to go.
Phoebe: Well look, you dont really like the one from uptown and youre too exhausted from dating the one up in Poughkeepsie, so I say you just end them both. Okay? You take a train up to Poughkeepsie and break up with her, and on your way back you break up with uptown. And then by the time you get home tonight, youre done!
(The rest of the crew start to drive away leaving Joey sad, alone, and holding his congratulatory balloons as the song comes up again. La-la-la. See, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain! In the desert you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La-la-la, la, la, la )
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Ross: (to Rachel): OK, I am calling your seventeen. What do you got?
Ticket Counter Attendant: (on the P.A.) This is the final boarding call for Flight 664 to Yemen.
Rachel: Uh, we are here to break up with you.
Ross: Uh Mr. Morse, can I speak to you for a moment?
Chandler: We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to so y'know
Ross: Look, if I can just do what Emily wants and get her to New York, I'm sure everything will be fine.
Chandler: You ah, you have, you have to leave, now? How come?
Joanne: Well, guess who my dad's making partner in his firm? (She points to herself and they all scream again.)
Rachel: Uh yeah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
Ross: Yeah-uh-huh. Tomorrow night, Valentines Day, the most romantic day of the year. Who knows what could happen? I might not be shutting my drapes to show her my slides, if you know what I mean.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, hes still trying to figure out what to make Monica.]
Monica: Oh. I guess you can. Okay but; I-I have to return it, so you cant like it.
The Teacher: Right. Are you looking for Jacks parents to discuss the problems hes having with Ben? (Phoebe nods Yes.) Yeah. Because I really do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation.
Chandler: It's OK. It's OK. I was always rooting for you two kids to get together.
Chandler: Well, then it looks like somebody is gonna have to give back somebody his cushions.
(Ross gets up and goes over to the counter and Joey follows him.)
Frank Jr.: Oh, no, no. Not Leslie. No, she's, she's the only one that knows how to burp the alphabet.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is teaching Leslie how to sing Smelly Cat.]
Joey: I dont know, but it smells good. (He gets up and heads for the door only to stop short and start laughing.)
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachels room.]
ROSS: [childishly] OK. OK, this is a picture frame from Ben to my parents, huh.
(The teacher comes up to them.)
Arthur: (To another coworker) Call security. (To Phoebe) Pheebs, didnt you get fired?
MONICA: You know what? I'm not gonna be able to enjoy this.
Rachel: (standing in her doorway) People are trying to sleep in here!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the bachelor party has ended and Monica is trying to explain herself to Chandler.]
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, Rachel is trying to put on eye liner with her left hand, as Ross is setting out her shoes.]
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes taking the hippity-hop to Ursulas apartment as a gift. She knocks on the door and Ursula answers it.]
Rachel: Me too. Oh, I'm just sorry I'm not gonna be around to watch you two attempt to handle this! Alright, I can't say goodbye to you guys again. I love you all so much.
Joanna: The only person that should feel awkward is you, and you didnt tell him not to call me, did you?
PHOEBE: Yeah. . . I'm sorry.� We weren't really looking for anything to happen with you guys.� I, I have a boyfriend.
Rachel: Ah, I-I never should have said what I said. Ityknow what? It just doesn't matter how I feel. I mean we work together, so nothing could really ever happen between us, and what I would love is just to go to work on Monday, and-and never talk about this again, okay? Big day Monday lots to do. So, we're okay?
Molly: (to Ross) I'm gonna take her back to the appartment.
BIG BULLY: Hehehehey, isn't that the guy who used to wear your hat?
Monica: No! But because he thought I was to faaaaa . (Chandler emerges, without flushing by the way.) And every time I think about it, it makes me feel as bad as I did in fifth grade! Yknow, I-I really think that you should apologize to Julie.
Phoebe: Now, are you sure you dont want to go see a doctor?
Jill: I dont understand, do you want to go out with Ross?
Joey's Look-A-Like: Hey Mon! Hey Chann! (He goes to the fridge) Just gettin a soda! (Does so.)
Phoebe: Umm, the street. Come on, lets go to the street. Ooh, listen, dont go onto the balcony until after I get back. (Leaves)
Phoebe: (starts to leave, but stops) Oh and Chandlers about to cry.
Chandler: Dont worry about it. Im taking care of it tonight. (Chandler opens the fridge and grabs something to drink.)
Joey: What are we supposed to be seeing here?
Ross: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
Ross: Oh, just hold on a second. Im watching this rugby thing on ESPN. I dont know what the big deal is. Im man enough to play this sport.
Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... <starts to cry>
Joey: Well to tell you the truth, they uh, (Pause) they had a problem with the bag!
Ross: C'mere, Marcel. (Turns to Ross)
Joey: Probably, yeah... I mean, maybe we should... hold off until we talk to Ross.
Ross: You should've seen the look on her face. I don't want Rachel to hate me! I don't know what to do.
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey, do you have any gum?
JOEY: No, but if you're willing to cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked. And then... [rubs his fingers together]
Rachel: Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and youre sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
Chandler: Well, you manheads aren't any better. You lied about going to the game. You knew it would make you late, and you still went anyway.
David: That's great! That's great! I-I'll propose to her!
Ross: Pa-haa!! I would love to go with you.
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
Rachel: Oh, see now I feel bad for the kid! I had a crush on a teacher once and it was so hard! Yknow youI couldnt concentrate and I blushed every time he looked at me. I mean come on, you remember whats its like to be 19 and in love.
Ross: (to Rachel) Im really glad we came. (Rachel smiles and rubs his arm) Youre so pretty. I love you.
Joey: Do we have to know about that?
(MACHINE--JOEY'S VOICE): Here comes the beep, you know what to do.
Joey: Come on man! You never want to do anything since you and Janice broke up.
[Scene: Riff's, Phoebe is entering. Ursula returns with two plates of chicken, but she only has time to set one on the table, when...]
Chandler: (To Ross) Why don't you cut him a little slack? Okay? Maybe if he relaxes a little bit, he'll get some work done.
Ross: (to Carol) Where the hell have you been?
Chandler: You have to pick your moments.
Rachel: I didnt have to, because I was wearing my I heart Ross sandwich board and ringing my bell.