words in movies
PHOEBE: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is working on her book at the kitchen table, Monica is on the couch, and Chandler is entering from the bathroom carrying a package of toilet paper.]
Joey: Well, I just tape it to the back of my toilet tank. (realises that anyone could have overheard that) I didn't say that! It's in a bank guarded by robots!
Ross: I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right?
Joey: You guys have one of those signs that says: 'We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool.', you know.
Chandler: Thats great, but shouldnt you be on the toilet right now?
JOEY: Chandler gave me word of the day toilet paper. I'm gonna get some coffee.
Phoebe: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
(Chandler goes into the bathroom, closes the door, and then opens it again right away. Ross looks up and hands him the toilet paper Ross already packed.)
CHANDLER: And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard. [throws water in his face]
RACHEL: Hey, nice toilet.
Joey: Yeah-yeah, I told her about the time you got drunk and fell asleep with your head in the toilet.
Phoebe: I've always wanted to live with a guy. "Pick up your socks!" "Put down the toilet seat!" "No! We're not having sex anymore!" It's gonna be fun!
Chandler: Oh, man. In my next life, I'm coming back as a toilet brush.
ROSS: Toilet paper?
Phoebe: Yeah well, once again not knocking pays off. I only wish you hadnt been on the toilet.
Phoebe: Okay, well you put down the toilet seat.
(Ross emerges from a toilet marked 'Chicas')
(Chandler opens the bathroom door to reveal Joey passed out on the toilet with a toothbrush in his mouth.)
(There is the sound of a flushing toilet and Coma Guy emerges from the bathroom)
ROSS: [to Joey who's looking over a toilet stall] Joey, some people don't like that.
Phoebe: Ok, well that's bad. But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet. Except for once in the ocean.
JOEY: Yeah. Uh, oh, OH, the best part, c'mon. [leads them to the bathroom, gestures towards toilet, everyone stares, uncomprehending] Heh?
Rachel: You know what else Im not gonna miss? "Im Monica. I wash the toilet 17 times a day. Even if people are on it!"
Ross: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. (A woman emerges from the toilet behind him and he tries to pretend he was in the other one)
Rachel: Youre out of toilet paper!
Joey: Rach?! (He walks over to the fridge to put it in, but it cannot be opened either) Rachel!!!!? (He walks to the bathroom and tries to lift the toilet seat cover. It won't come up.) So I can't do anything I like????
Rachel: I know. I know. Oh God. (Looking around) Theres no tissue! Can you grab me some toilet paper?
Joey: Wait-wait-wait-wait! (To Chandler) Come on! Come on, lets trade! The timings perfect, I just clogged the toilet!
MONICA: Really? Wow, well then come on, I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.
Shelley: Well yeah! ...Oh God. I- just- I thought- Good, Shelley. I'm just gonna go flush myself down the toilet now...(backs out of the room) Okay, goodbye...
[She turns him facing the toilet and sneaks out of the stall and gathers up his clothes.]
Rachel: Oh, come on! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat, you dont think thats just a little funny?!
Chandler: So Ross, how was your date the other night? Did you tell her about the magical ride that starts with the flush of every toilet?
Ross: Thats right! Thats right! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat so the pee goes everywhere!
[They sit up, moaning in excitement, and Cheryl straddles Ross. Ross finds a slice of bologna and moans higher and louder, then a bag of potato chips on the coffee table starts to move. Ross throws Cheryl off his lap, grabs a tennis racket and a toilet brush and starts pounding the bag.]
Monica: Ok, so there's not a magazine under the couch, or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank, or a filthy video in the VCR?
Rachel: Well, heres another question for ya. Uhh, do you know what that silver knob on the toilet does?