words in movies
Phoebe: I know! (Phoebe picks up a little packet of sugar, shakes it, and then realises she can't open it with one hand, but doesn't want to let go of Mike's hand. She tries to tear open the packet with one hand.)
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)
Ross: Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything! (Chandler slowly tries to hide the now dead plant from that morning when he and Joey poured their coffee into it.)
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Alright, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him and force him down the aisle. I can just see it: "Mike, do you take Phoebe..." (gestures with her hand as if someone is covering her mouth and tries to shout "No! No!") You know, it's every girl's dream!
Phoebe: (singing) Crazy underwear, creepin up my butt. (Jason enters) Crazy underwear, always in a rut. Crazy under-(sees Jason)-wear (In her head) Oh No! What is he doing here? All right, just keep playing, just keep playing. Youll get through this; youll be fine. (She tries to continue the song, but she has lost the ability to pronounce words, and the lyrics come out as gibberish.) (giving up on the song) Okay, thank you. And, as always no one talk to me after the show.
(She goes over and tries to give Phoebe a massage. Phoebe yelps in pain and jumps away from her.)
(Rachel opens the trash chute, winces at the smell, and throws the garbage bag in. She then tries to throw the pizza box in, but since its so big she jams it into the opening and it prevents the door from closing. She then turns around too see Mr. Treeger watching her.)
Krista: Here, I'll get it. (She grabs a napkin and tries to wipe it up. The thing that gets the rest of the gang going is that she's whipping awfully close to his crotch. In fact, she is whipping his crotch. Chandler's about to come out of his chair.)
(Ross tries to clear off the pool table by knocking the balls to the other end of the table, but they all bounce back, and he frantically starts to throw them into the pockets.)
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
(He starts to exit, but Chandler tries to stop him by climbing on his back and grabbing hold of the foosball table.)
Joey: I'm, I'm okay. See. (tries to smile, but fails horribly)
(The band starts to play, and the recessional starts. Ross tries to take Emilys hand, but she snatches it away from him.)
(Phoebe tries to give her phone to Ross, but he won't take it. He mouths "no.")
(She tries to demonstrate this unique ability, but only succeeds in choking on it.)
(Then she reaches over again and Joey moves his plate a little to the left, and she misses, then she reaches out again, and he moves his plate to the right , so she misses again. She tries a third time and this time, Joey pushes his plate so far to the left, it drops off the edge of the table)
Ross: Look, you guys, you guys should go. (Joey tries to say something, but Ross cuts him off.) No, Im, you, you planned this all out, and I dont want to ruin it, so you guys should just go.
(The security guard from before approaches and Phoebe tries to turn her back on him.)
Joey: (entering) Look, what am I gonna do? I'm not flirting but still, I'm drawing her to me like - like a moth to a flame! (Tries to put his feet on the coffee table...they won't reach and looks around.) What the hell's going on over here?!?!? (Points to Chandler) Monica's gonna kill you! Look I need your help, I have to do something to-to repel this woman! Wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys repel women all the time.
(Phoebe desperately tries to find the scripted response to that line.)
Rachel: Oh my god. Oh my god. (She decides to make a break for it.) Excuse me. Move! Move! Emergency! Excuse me! (She tries climbing over a bench and falls down.)
(When Joey tries to pull back his head, he notices he is stuck)
(Chandler tries to shrug nonchalantly but eventually he has to exhale a mouthful of smoke.)
The Cooking Teacher: Okay Joey, youre up next. (Tries one of his cookies.) This are good! This is amazing! You get an A!
Chandler: Top of the world? Dock of the bay? (He tries to think of another but can't) I'm out.
Monica: Thank you! (He tries the door again and Monica glares at him.)
(Ross with his pants around his ankles tries to run, but Dr. Geller forgets that he has his pants around his ankles and falls down trying to flee.)
(Joey tries to pull back at all his might.)
Chandler: (to Gunther) Y'know what Gunther, go ah, go ahead, Im-Im talking to ah, (tries to get her to say her name). (to her) This is the part where you say your name.
Rachel: Okay Joey honey, youre doing really good! All right, now Im just gonna need you to step to the port side. (Joey pauses as he tries to remember which side is the port side.) Remember? Remember how we talked about the port side?
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
Chandler: What are you talking about? The couch is perfectly in line with the carpet. And then I can just walk over here and casually just put my feet right up on the...(Tries to rest his feet on the coffee table but they won't reach) OK, OK, here's what we do, we just uh, move the couch closer to the coffee table.
(Joey tries and visibly winces.)
(Chandler slides the bowl to the far end of the counter. He tries again, but he hits the spoon to hard and the ball goes flying away.)
Rachel: Oh come on Ross!! (She tries to switch places with him and goes under his leg.)
Chandler: (Tries to hug Joey but J. moves away) What's the matter Joe?
(Ross proceeds to apply copious amounts of the lotion on his legs. He literally starts spraying the back of his legs with the lotion, and as he applies some to his butt he makes a happy face like he enjoyed that sensation. After using about half the bottle he again tries to pull up his pants, but at the first sign of resistance, his hand slips off of the pants and hits him in the forehead.)
(He throws his piece back in the box, runs into the living room, looks for a place to hide the pizza, finds one, slides the box under the couch, sits down on the table, and tries to quickly chew the food in his mouth.)
Rachel: Oh. (She tries to walk away from Josh, by he keeps holding her) Stop it!
[Cut to Monica's room, Chandler tackles Joey onto her bed and tries to cover his mouth.]
Joey: I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.
Ross: No-no-no, a bunch of out of control jackets take over an island. (Makes an unusual sound, then he realises that he still has his jacket on and quickly tries to shake it off, thinking its alive and attacking him.)
Monica: Wh-wh-what are you doing here? (She tries to pull her shirt down to cover the fact that she's wearing men's boxers.]
Ross: You know what, you can go, I just have to fill out some forms. (Tries to hold the pen but cant)
Ross: Alright, I'm gonna go find them... (twitches a bit, looks down) I just need a... need a before I can... you know. (gestures standing up... they sit and wait for a while) Grandma... grandma... grandma... (he tries to concentrate...) Okay, I see you later.
Joey: I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! Its been a long time since I had (tries to do the math in his head, but cant) 327 + 238 dollars!"
(He gives the agent his ticket and walks onto the jetway. Janice walks over and looks out the window. Chandler walks back into the terminal and tries to walk right past Janice, but she sees him.)
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Monica: Why don't you just have a seat here? (he sits at the table, then tries to secretly eat the Gummi-bears. Monica spots him.) OK... give me the Gummi-bears.
Rachel: Yeah, yknow what? Dont look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, dont look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, theyre all eating the wax, Chandler and Phoebe, dont like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: Hey, thats not so bad.]
Joey: Hmmm, soup! (Tries again.) Hmm soup! (Tries again, with a little caveman thrown in.) Hmm, soup!
Phoebe: Oh down please. (The guy tries to reach the button, but cant.) I-I hate to be a ball buster can I just do it? (She pushes the button.)
(He tries to move in front of the class, only goes out of control and rolls into the hall, catching himself on the doorway with his pointer. He then pulls himself back into the room with the pointer, only he jams one end of it between the door frame and the door and breaks the pointer in half.)
(Rachel tries to get Monica's attention to tell her Steve is stoned. She pretends to drag on a joint, and Monica thinks she's giving her the 'OK' signal. Then Rachel does it again, inhaling deeply this time. Monica waves it off as though she doesn't believe it.)
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. (He tries to bend down to pick up the bag with the presents, but can't because of the costume) Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah. You can do it to. (tries to do it, but cant)
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
Joey: Oh, uh... don't forget your coupon. (Tries to strike a sexy pose up against the doorway to his room. Then goes inside).
Joey: "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex just looks at him and the director motions for him to continue so he tries it again.) "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex does nothing.) "Come on son! Your Mommas good people!"
(Chandler tries to come up with a good answer.)
[Eddie tries his key and it won't work. He knocks and Chandler answers the door. He's got the door chained.]
Rachel: Well lets see. Maybe he knows where Ross is. (They walk towards Chandler) Hey, how's it going (tries to look as un-interested in him as possible - checking out her nails).
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
(Thinking quickly, Chandler desperately tries to remember anything to do with schizophrenia....)
Joey: Okay. (He grabs a jelly donut, takes a bite, and guess what he spills all over himself. He tries to clean it up and smears it all over the shirt.)
(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)
Rachel: Oh no, my dad's a doctor and he would always tell me just horror stories (stops and tries to change directions) about ghosts and goblins who totally supported the princess's right to smoke.
(The lights dim and Chandler tries to get away but as the bitter lady comes on stage and starts yelling he promptly changes his mind and sits down)
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
Ross: Hey Emma. Oh, why is she wearing her hat so low? She can barely see. (Wants to take the hat off, but Rachel tries to stop him).
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, I will do it. Honey, you have to learn to sit down and relax and let your husband take care of things once and awhile. (Tries the door.) Its locked, you have to help me. Why is it locked?
Rachel: Oh yes! Thank you very much! (She grabs a glass, takes a sip, and realizes what she just did. She then tries to spit the champagne back into the glass without Monica noticing. It doesnt work.) Oh thats-thats actually how the French drink it.
(Chandler tries to do the same thing but the pen hits him in the head.)
Rachel: Would you like to go to a basketball game with me? (Tries again.) You know, its funny, basketball, because I happen to have tickets too (Tries again.) Umm, who likes the Knicks(Joshua comes in from the dressing room.)
(Chandler tries to save face and makes the 'OK' sign with his hands, while obviously unable to breathe.)
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
(Gunther tries to swoop in to ask Rachel out.)
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
Joey: (getting up) Dude, I'm telling ya! I'm fine! (He tries to take a step and falls flat on his face.)
Charlton Heston: (tosses him a towel, motions for him to get out of the shower and sits down on the couch) Every actor at one time or anotheropp! (Joey tries to sit down next to him and Heston makes him sit somewhere else.) Every actor thinks he stinks, even Lawrence Oliver at sometimes thought he stank, Bob Redford wont even watch himself.
Rachel: No! (Joey sets his beer and bag of chips down and heads into his room.) Oh what does he know! Come on Rosita, us chichas got to stick together! (She tries pulling on the back of the chair, until the hinge breaks and the back falls off.) You bitch!
Phoebe: Ohh, no. (Pause) Oh okay, so you're a cop which means you can park anywhere, 'cause I know that 'cause I'm a cop too. So, all right, keep up the good work. 10-4. (Tries to leave.)
Joey: Seriously, good game though. Good game. (He tries to congratulate them, but they pull away.) (To Chandler) What are they so mad about? They get the apartment back!
Ross: Yeah, no problem. (Tries to turn it off.)
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Monica: It is not over because she is going to call you and tell you she loves you. And the reason why she couldnt, is because her feelings were so strong, it scared her. Now you go home and wait for her call, she could be calling you from the plane! Come on now go! Go! (Tries to push Ross out the door.)
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
Chandler: Kathy! Kathy! Hi!! Kathy! Kathy! (She doesn't hear him and keeps running, Chandler starts chasing her as the theme to The Mod Squad starts to play. First, a car almost hits him and then gets mustard splashed on him as he runs by a hot dog vendor.) Kathy! (He keeps running and gets tangled up in the leashes of five dogs, in desperation he throws his paper.) Fetch! Fetch it! (He frees himself and resumes the chase) Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! (He now trips and falls into a pile of garbage, he tries to get up and scream her name again but he has a piece of spinach in his mouth. He gets out of the garbage and starts crossing the street by running over the hoods of a couple of cabs.) Kathy! (He jumps in front of her and out of breath he says) Kathy.
Monica: (wiping her nose) Are you saying that you dont wanna get with this? (Tries to do a little sexy body rub, but it doesnt work all that well with the big robe.)
(Tim leans in to kiss her. They stop, and when he tries to kiss her again, Monica pulls away.)
(Rachel tries to hide her alarm, but she squirms in her chair.)
(Chandler and Joey look at her, and then look back at him. They dive for Ross's hand to see what he had, and he tries to stop them from looking.)
(Joey does so, and they both start dancing. Treeger tries to spin Joey, but ends up throwing him into the door.)
(They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.)
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
[Sequence 3: Chandler throws a pass to Ross, who catches it. Phoebe starts screaming and runs up to him and tries to tackle him. But all she ends up doing is running around his waist and screaming.]
(Ross takes his suitcase and tries to get out but ends up falling on Prof. Sherman's laps, thereby waking him up)
Chandler: Shh! (To the guy behind the counter) Nice to see you again. (They tries to walk past him.)
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
(He goes to pull up his pants, but can't seem to get them past his knees. He frantically tries to pull them up to no avail. Panic sets in.)
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)