words in movies
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
Monica: Oh please! Dad turned my room into a gym 20 minutes after I moved out! I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack of Victorias Secret catalogues, not a gym!
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, I think it looks pretty good. I was a little worried I was uncovering a birthmark right aboutthere, but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate.
Chandler: It's football... It's just football... This is great! This is the first time I've ever enjoyed football... It may be customary to get a beer... (Chandler walks to the fridge, his back turned to the TV and a moaning sound replaces the cheering of the crowd... Joey's eyes double in size...) What the... (Chandler turns around, but Joey already took a sprint for Chandler, jumps, and floors Chandler in the open space in front of the apartment door...) What are you doing?
Rachel: Turned out it was a hat.
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
Ross: Well I checked in the uh, lost and found, I talked to the manager, no-ones turned them.
Chandler: Yeah. Either that, or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper.
Joey's Date: Ew, yknow what? One time I saw this guy from behind and he seemed like a totally normal guy and then he turned around and it was Stephan Baldwin!
Phoebe: Oh my God! You got off easy! When my friend Silvie's husband said someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green.
Monica: Well, you-you coulda just turned the cushion over.
Monica: I want you to know, it wasn't me who turned you in.
Rachel: Oh no!!!! Oh my God!! This is all making so much sense to me now! This is why Adam Carter wouldnt go out with me! This is why Billy Tratt would just stay in this region! (Motions to her breasts.) (Joey has turned around.)
Charlie: Actually, it turned out to be a lot of fun!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is coming back from work to find Phoebe, Rachel, and someone else with her back turned is there.]
Mrs. Geller: Were sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 youd pay for it yourself.
Joey: How could you do this to me Chandler?! This part couldve turned my whole career around!
Ross: Which is fine! Because you just turned(Removes two candles from the cake)twenty-eight!
Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet 'n' Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'. (to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
[Scene change back an forth: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica's on the other end of the line. The phone's speaker is turned on, so the rest of the gang, sitting around the phone, can hear Chandler.]
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Chandler: So uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her?
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
Joey: Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
Chandler: Because then we would be the guys who turned off free porn.
Chandler: (investigating) I turned it off. Mother of God, I turned it off!
Ross: Nothing. But the complaint department at the condom company got an earful. And then when I turned around she was gone.
MR. GELLER: Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50 I got the Porsche. You... you got your own little speedster.
Emily: My uncle dragged us there. But, it actually it turned out to be really interesting.
[Scene: Monicas childhood bedroom (which has been turned into a gym), Monica is lying on the treadmill as Phoebe enters.]
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Chandler: Hey Joe! I was just watching a movie-e-e (Notices that the TV is turned off.)
[Scene: The Moondance diner, Monica is cleaning up with one of the waiters, with her back turned to him she removes her fake breasts and hides them under her wig.]
Joshua: Anyway, she burned all of my clothes. I got away with two things. This suit and what turned out to be a skirt.
Ross: Well, y'know how I'm trying to work things out with Emily. Well, there's this one thing Okay, (Rachel has her back turned to the camera, and Ross isn't looking at her.) here goes. I made a promise that-(they cut to the other camera and Ross notices something coming out of Rachel's nose)-Oh hey!
Ross: Oh really. Is that how you felt when you turned thirty?
Joey: Look, I dont know why the kids need a youth center anyway! Yknow? They should just watch TV after school like I did and I turned out fine!
MONICA: Oh I was just doing Chandler's side of the conversation.� You know, like, "Hi, How do I look?"� (As Chandler) "Really sexy.� Could I BE any more turned on?"
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
Rachel: Well, the cat... the cat turned out to be Paolo's cat!
Chandler: Honey, I know youre in pain right now, but Im a little turned on.
Joey: (stunned and turned on) Yeah. WhyYeah, that would work for ya
Mrs. Geller: I'm telling you, it's a wonder your mother turned out to be the positive, life-affirming person that she is.
Ross: Well yeah, but she doesnt know that. I mean, the last time she saw you-you wouldve turned one of those little wedding chairs into kindling.
Chandler: Yknow that thing that Ross was gonna do at our wedding?! He was hanging out with me yesterday and he turned to me and said, "Youre half Scottish right?"
Ross: (not getting it) Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here.
Joey: Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
Phoebe: This is how I look when I'm turned on!
JOEY: Hey, Monica, the knob was broken so I just turned it off from underneath, I hope that's alright.
ROSS: It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird.
Assistant: You've never turned?
Monica: Chandler, for so long I I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that Id ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you dont want to. You go!
Ross: (enters) It's me. Ron. (Mr. Zellner looks annoyed) Look, I um, I now Rachel turned you down but I think there is a way you might be able to get her to come back.
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldnt. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler.
Phoebe: Yeah, she turned you into this-this-this untrusting, crazy, jealous, sycophant. (They all look at her.) All right, so I dont know what sycophant means, but the rest is right.
Monica: This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them dont work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.
Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now?
(It's only when the camera cuts to Ross's apartment that we see that the TV is turned off and Ross is indeed doing a bit. He then tries to hide his smirk.)
Ross: Come on! The time we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves and that one guy cut in line in front of us and I just lost it?! Screamed at him! Turned all red! Red Ross!!
Charlie: No, it's just... I was enganged to a guy who turned out to be gay!
Cecilia: I probably shouldve just left years ago when the offers were pouring in, but yknow I just got so comfy here! And Ohh, I turned down some amazing work!
[Cut to his bedroom, Ross is listening at the door as Paul opens the door, trapping Ross behind it. With Pauls back turned Ross coils up like a snake and slitters underneath the bed.]