words in movies
Chandler: (excited) Guys, guys, I've got great news! Guess what Joey: Uh, ah, Monica's pregnant?! Monica: (shocked) Really? (She looks around, suddenly embarrassed) Let's get past the moment. Phoebe: What's your news? Chandler: Thank you. I got a job in advertising. (Everybody cheers) Monica: (hugging Chandler) Oh, honey, that's incredible! Phoebe: (inquisitive) Gosh, what's the pay like? (Everybody stares at her indignantly) Oh, come on people (defending) come on, now, if I don't know who makes the most, how do I know who I like the most! (She looks at Joey) Hey Joey! (Joey winks at her) Chandler: Actually, it pays nothing. It's an internship. Joey: Oh, that's cool. We have interns at 'Days Of Our Lives'. Chandler: Right. So, it'll be the same except less sex with you. (Joey nods) Ross: So, uh, what kinda stuff do you think they'll have you do there? Chandler: Well, it's a training program, but at the end, they hire the people they like. Phoebe: (enthusiastic) That's great. Chandler: Yeah, I mean, there's probably gonna be some ground work which will probably stink, you know, grown man getting people coffee is a little humiliating (At the same time, Gunther puts down a cup of coffee in front of Chandler) Chandler: (grinning awkwardly) Humiliating and noble! (Gunther shoots a nasty look at him while leaving) Ross: You know, if I didn't already have a job, I think, I would have been really good in advertising. Monica: Ross, you did not come up with "got milk?" Ross: Yes, I did, I did! (He turns to Joey, disappointed) I should have written it down!
Joey: Someone you didnt make up!
Mrs. Bing: Oooh, c'mon, shut up, it's fun. Gimme a hug. (They both sit down) Well, I think we're ready for some tequila.
Monica: Only if I don't have to get up and sing.
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
Ross: Oh, wake up!
Chandler: They said it could be up to a year.
Joey: (getting up) Dude, I'm telling ya! I'm fine! (He tries to take a step and falls flat on his face.)
(This gorgeous woman in spandex walks up)
Ross: Well isnt there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, cant-cant you pick up, I dont know, an extra shift here?
Monica: (on phone) Uh sorry, wrong number. (Hangs up)
Monica: Oh, and the people are so nice. There's this one guy, Geoffrey, he's the Maitre D., Chandler, you will love him. He is without a doubt, the funniest guy I have ever met. (Chandler, who was almost asleep again, sits up straight in bed in an instant and can't believe what he just heard.)
[Scene: Jasons apartment, Phoebe has gone to break up with Jason.]
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, theyre finishing up dinner.]
Rachel: Yeah, it was senior year in college. It was after the Sigma Chi luau and Melissa and I got very drunk! And we ended up kissing! For several minutes!
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
Monica: No, you messed it up. Youre stupid.
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
Rachel: You need that, you need that too cause obviously, a thief could just tear this up. (Rips up the note.)
Ross: Yeah, no, youre right, I know, youre right, Im not, Im not gonna do it. All right, thanks guys. (Gets up to leave.)
Chandler: So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?
Rachel: Ohhh! That is soo sweet! (gets up to get herself a cup of coffee)
Phoebe: Or you could end up with everything.
Phoebe: It's amazing! You better hurry up and fill out an application or I'm gonna beat you to it.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's kitchen, Chandler has a jug of milk in his hands and decides to make some warm milk. He opens up the cabinet to get a pot and manages to knock several other pots onto the floor making a lot of noise.]
Ross: Oh, that's great, that is great! (Hugs and kisses Carol. Then picks up a picture frame)
Phoebe: (to Pete) Wow! Thats exciting, you went to Japan, made up a woman.
Chandler: Open up! Open up! Open up!
Phoebe: Umm, my friend, Bonnie. She just always thought Ross was really cute, and now that you two arent together, she asked if I could set it up, but if youre not cool with it...
Chandler: Yeah, I know, but all of those little annoying things she did before we fell in love? Like her voice, her laugh, her personalityWell, theyre all back! Yknow? And shes picked up like nine new ones!
Monica: They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again.
Phoebe: I've always wanted to live with a guy. "Pick up your socks!" "Put down the toilet seat!" "No! We're not having sex anymore!" It's gonna be fun!
Ross: (on phone) No-no-no, thats great! Ill be there Monday. And thank you again! (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up) (To All) Umm, that was the head of the Paleontology department at N uh, Y, uh U!
Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. (previously scared Rachel turns away) No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird�s aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby on its talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still up lays (?) are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool, that fills the apartment.
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, Joey is walking up to C.H.E.E.S.E. and Wayne.]
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
Ross: Look sweetie, I could be the bigger man, I could be the biggest man, I could be a big, huge, giant man, and it still wouldnt make any difference, except that I could pick your Father up and say Like me! Like me tiny doctor!
Chandler: Id like to go up the ladder of chance to the golden mud hut please.
Joey: Yeah. Sure. (They both half stand up, Joey pulls the neck of his sweater out, and Rachel looks down it to see his T-shirt.)
Ross: Rach, I told you, you can't call him every time any little thing comes up.
Chandler: (looking up with her) Thats a plane!
Phoebe: What-whats up?
Phoebe: I know! (Phoebe picks up a little packet of sugar, shakes it, and then realises she can't open it with one hand, but doesn't want to let go of Mike's hand. She tries to tear open the packet with one hand.)
Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!
Monica: Well, why dont we just bunny up.
Chandler: Look I never should have kissed your girlfriend, but Im (Joey hangs up the phone again.)
Monica: Ive been doing a lot of thinking. A lot! And umm, well, I came up with a whole bunch of businesses you can do with your van. Okay umm, you could be flower delivery person.
Rachel: What did you get her? (Joey opens up a rectangular black box and holds up a pen.)
[Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.]
Ross: Oh come on! Here we go! (picks her up and puts her in the chair) Stand by for mission countdown!
Leslie: Yeah, but, I dont do that anymore. I got kinda sick of it, and then I couldnt come up with anything good, so they fired me.
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
Jill: Yknow, thanks for trying to cheer me up, but Im not gonna date some random guy from your work.
Monica: Ill pick it up for you!
(Chandler picks up the chick and drops it in the water.)
Phoebe: Ohhh, I wanna come over there and give you a hug and wish you luck on your wedding, but I dontcant get up.
Carol and Susan: Hey! (This wakes Chandler and Ross up)
Monica: Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There arent any message youve forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently youre not very good at it! I
Joey: Oh yes I do. Otherwise whats next? Today Im just a guy who cant finish a turkey, but tomorrow Im the guy who eats half a Powerbar, wraps up the rest, and puts in the fridge? No! No, I just I justI gotta change my pants. (Gets up and heads for the door.) Jeans have no give. (Exits.)
Janine: No, but you should go to Chandlers. Because none of us knows how to cook, well probably just end up drinking all day.
[Scene: Chandlers Office Building, Bob is standing at the elevators and sees Chandler walk up.]
Ross: Okay, okay, yes, it is. (waves) How about I'll, uh, catch up with you in the Ice Age.
MNCA: What these? [holding up liquor bottles] Oh, these are, um, for.. cuts and scrapes.
Phoebe: Oh hey hi, hes doing it. Hes breaking down the door. (The chair breaks in half.) Okay, were in. (She hangs up the phone.)
Joey: This sucks! I didnt know I had to stay up all night before I went to this stupid sleep clinic! Im so tired!
Monica: Pete's breaking up with me.
Chandler: Oh, dont thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work.
Joey: Come on man, you drove all the way up here.
Emily: Well, up yours too!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. What's this? (picks up a book)
Chandler: (jumping up) Phase Three! I just achieved Phase Three!
Chandler: Yeah, huh. I'm just uh, you know I'm just picking up some things for a party. (grabs a bag off of the shelf)
Phoebe: (leaving) Fine, fine! You would not hold up well under torture!
Monica: Wow! And you got a petticure. Your feet are all dressed up.
Joey: He broke up with Julie. Well, go hug her, for god's sakes.
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a hand on the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in the middle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
Bonnie: Cool! Ill catch up! (She takes off her sweater.)
Monica: Hey, dont mix those up, you could really ruin that lollipop.
Joey: Well uh, I went down there and told him that no one treats my friends like that and that hed better come up here and apologize. Ill see you later. (Starts to leave)
Ross: whats up, Dad?
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
(In the apartment below, Mr.Heckles is trying to relax and read his newspaper, but Rachel is helplessly dangling upside-down with her ankle wrapped up in the Christmas lights.)
Monica: Umm, I'd love too! (She goes over and picks up the box and decides to follow Rachel's advice and holds the box up to her cheek.) Ooh, I love macaroni and cheese. I love-I love the way this box feels against my cheek.
(Ross proceeds to apply copious amounts of the lotion on his legs. He literally starts spraying the back of his legs with the lotion, and as he applies some to his butt he makes a happy face like he enjoyed that sensation. After using about half the bottle he again tries to pull up his pants, but at the first sign of resistance, his hand slips off of the pants and hits him in the forehead.)
Joey: So what's it gonna be? (Monica whispers in Joey's ear. Ross gets up and waves arms frantically in protest)
Housekeeper: Hangs up.
Phoebe: All right, all right, so up until 92-93 he was very trusting, then 94 hit, Carol left him and bamn! Paranoid city!
CHANDLER: You'll see, you guys are all gonna go off and get married, and I'm gonna end up alone. Will you promise me something? When you're married, will you invite me over for holidays?
[Scene: Outside Ross and Rachel's, Joey walks up to knock on the door, but stops.]
[Rachel walks up behind them.]
Phoebe: Okay (walks out and closes the door behind her, looks up and whispers) If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you.
(Ross gets up from the table.)
Ross: Oh, oh, ok, great. You know what, while you're at it she said another word the other day, why don't you, why don't you look up: pbbqqt....
Phoebe: You know, I might know somebody. Hey, how about you set me up with someone, and we double date!
Rachel: Thanks for lunch, Chandler. Y'know, you didnt have to walk me all the way back up here.
Monica: Get up. Come on. Let's get some coffee.
(Joey walks up to them.)
Monica: (very serious) It's 2101 and I am not amused. (pause). Ok, the bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. (Everyone sits and Phoebe gets up)
Joey: Okay, bye. (He hangs up the phone.)
Ross: Well, that's cool. So did (She walks away from him and he shuts up.)
Rachel: Yeah, we ended up spending the day together and had such a great time!