words in movies
JANITOR: Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
[Scene: Library. Ross show up with a MonkeyShine Beer poster.]
PHOEBE: Today we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals. [singing] Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo, Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo. Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up, And that's how we get hamburgers. Nooowww, chickens!
JOEY: Right, they uh, they choppered me in. What's up?
CHANDLER: And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard. [throws water in his face]
[Scene: City street. The whole gang is walking up to the movie set.]
SECURITY GUARD: C'mon people, back up please, back up, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon.
ROSS: Hey, hey buddy, Marcel. Marcel. [Marcel doesn't react so Ross starts singing] In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. [no reaction from Marcel, Monica and Joey urge him on] In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. [Marcel looks over and everyone joins in] a-weema-way, a-weema-way..... [Marcel runs over and hops up on Ross's shoulder]
SUSIE: I'm Susie Moss. Fourth grade, glasses, I used to carry around a box of animal crackers like a purse. CHANDLER: Susie Moss, right, yeah, wow, you look. . . great job growing up.
SUSIE: Remember the class play? You, you pulled up my skirt and the entire auditorium saw my underpants.
MONICA: Oh, I'll have an espresso. Oh acutally, I'll get it. If I ask you to, you'll probably end up drinking it yourself.
JOEY: Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is setting up for his time with Marcel. Joey is there.]
[They keep flicking each other. This turns into slapping each other. This leads to wrestling on the floor. All the while Phoebe is saying "Happy thoughts". Eventually Phoebe gets fed up.]
RACHEL: You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want?
CHANDLER: Because I went to an all boys high school and God is making up for it.
[She turns him facing the toilet and sneaks out of the stall and gathers up his clothes.]
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
JOEY: Alright, alright. [climbs up in the next stall and looks over at Chandler] Woah, someone's flossing.
ROSS: What? Let me see. [climbs up in the other adjoining stall]
Monica: Oh my God. He threw up?
PHOE: [singing] There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy let's call him Neil. Now I can't stress this point too strongly, this story isn't real. Now our Neil must decide, who will be the girl that he casts aside. Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? Or will it be the one who we'll call Ju...Loolie? He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up, he must decide!
Ross: (on phone) Thats right, Ryder. Wynona Ryder for six. (listens) Thank you. (hangs up) (to the gang) Yeah, we have the reservations.
Chandler: Hey! Whats up?
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, its the middle of the night, hes waking up and discovers hes alone in bed.]
Joey: I know, and only one layer of jam?! What is up with that?
Monica: (running up to Ross) What happened in Atlantic City?!
Cassie: (hugs him) Its been so long! Last time I saw you, you were setting up your tent in line to see Return of the Jedi.
MONICA: Rach, get the heat. [Rachel holds up her hand with wet fingernail polish] Ross, could you turn the heat down please?
[Joey walks up helping Chandler.]
Rachel: (picks it up) OK... ah, it's light... (shakes it)...it rattles... it's... (opens it) Travel Scrabble! Oooohhh, thank you! (she gives it back to him)
Joey: What are you guys doing up?
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
(A beautiful women walks up.)
Judy: Yes, you’ll be all grown up by then. We’ll be... Well your grandfather and I might not be here.
Ross: Wooooooo, hehehe. Hey, ahh, you don't feel like you're gonna throw up, do ya?
Ross: Wh-whats up?
Pete: Im fine! Id fight tonight, if theyd let me. (stands up and starts swinging his arms) See this circle Im marking off here? This is my zone of terror.
(Ursula gets up to fetch a box from her bag by the counter.)
Chandler: I made that joke up.
Monica: Did you break up with her?
Ross: (takes a drink) Damn, this coffees cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)
Chandler: Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants. If y'know what I mean.
Julie: Thats why you broke up with me?
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Man: Oh uh, up or down?
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
Joey: Whoo, whoo. Wow, it's uhm... kinda weird that I'm sitting next to Charlie after we broke up.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, hey Nick the boxer lets see what you got. All right ya, put em up. Come on. (they start shadow boxing)
Joey: Hey! Whats up?
Monica: No, you can't! Friends hooking up is a bad idea.
Erin: What about shut up?
DUNCAN: Well, I've never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college, when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I told myself it was the liquor and e-everyone experiments in college.
Rachel: You are not. You have never been able to break up with her.
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
Joey: Well, dont get your hopes up, because probably not gonna happen.
ROSS: ??? (speech garbled) Thro up a thro thro--a thro thro!
Monica: Well umm, I was thinking that maybe we could come up with a system where we trade of being maid of honor for each other. Like hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up, and finds someone else's hand on his chest. He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]
Chandler: Uh-huh, and I got all the top ten scores, I erased Phoebe off the board! High five! (Holds up his hand to give Monica a high five, only he cant straighten his fingers.)
Chandler: I got caught up and work, but I'm quitting tomorrow.
Rachel: Now that she broke up with you?
ROSS: No, no, I don't wanna put it off, I just, God I just, I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable, ya know, and now, now I'm actually happy. You know, I mean, really happy. I just, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna mess it up, ya know.
Monica: Hey! Okay, so I thought wed start with my make up and then do my hair.
Chandler: It's up to you.
Monica: Hello? (Listens) What?! (Listens) You what?! (Listens) Hey you listen here missy! (Listens) Wh(She is hung up on.)
Phoebe: Okay Joey? Chandler's here, he was wondering (We hear the dial tone as Joey hangs up.) Okay, I guess he ran out of change.
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
Phoebe: Youre just so mean to each other! And I dont want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
(just as he gets in front of Margha, Monica comes up and tackles him)
(Cut to Monica and Chandler, Monica is running up to him.)
Joey: Whats up buddy?
Ross: Hey! Whats up?
(Ross smiles and holds up his hand for a high-five, but he has forgotten about his burnt hands. He gasps in pain as Joey grabs his hand.)
Monica: You guys, I ordered some chocolate pies from that bakery on Bleecker. Could you pick them up for me?
Krista: (calling from the bathroom) Danny! Hurry up! The bath is getting cold!
Monica: Who? I mean have you seen a car come by here in the last hour and a half? I think we should call Ross, maybe he can get a car and come pick us up.
Rachel: Joey, yknow that you could just not throw the sticks up in the air.
Joey: I’m saying that… (pause). This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you’re fired. Goodbye. (he hangs up the phone).
(Rachels boss, Mr. Thompson walks up.)
David: (to Chandler) Well, Phoebe's still pretty hung up on that Mike, uh?
Joey: (Checks to see if shes drooling on his shirt.) Okay. Okay, okay, hey. (Lays her down and covers her with a blanket.) There we go, lets get your feet up there. (Looks at her) Good night, Kate. Sweet dreams. (Picks up a garbage can) Im gonna put this can right here in case you have to hurl.
Phoebe: Okay, yeah. (to Monica and Rachel) Triple A can pick us up.
Chandler: Did your Dad ever dress up like Santa?
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Ross: Thanks. (Phoebe gets up to get a refill.) (To Monica) Oh! So for tomorrow, do you want to rent a car and drive down together or what?
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do. You know, I had nothing growing up. (thinks for a few seconds) Just like the kids I took the money from.
Monica: I've got a plan. I've got a plan. I'm going to ram this platter really hard into your ribs. You're gonna scream out and that'll wake her up!
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
(They pick up the couch and after throwing off the last pillow; Rachel helps out on Chandler's end.)
Ross: I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now.
Chandler: Well, I ended up telling her everything.
Joey: Oh yeah, sure. (She gets up, walks towards the bathroom, and Joey watches her go.) Ehhh.
Rachel: Oh god look at her sleeping. Oh, I love her so much! Oh, I think Im gonna wake her up.
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until. (A flashback starts Paolo, lying on massage table, moving his hands up Phoebe's legs.)
(Chandler wakes up and stares at the tape.)
Chandler: All right! Fine! But its just a lunch date, no more than an hour! And from now on I get my own dates, I dont want you setting me up with anybody ever again!
[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has used a broom to open the air vent in the ceiling. Phoebe is wearing a janitor's uniform, ready to go up in the vent.]
[Scene: The Park, the gang is warming up for their football game.]
Girl: Yeah. (she gets up, notices something behind Joey) Oh.
Ross: Hey, yknow if you want to pick up some extra cash? Some friends of mine made good money doing telemarketing.
Monica: Okay, Im up! Im up!
Phoebe: Oh, interesting you should call me that! Now that I may never have one! (Holds up the warning label.)
Ross: Oh, Im sorry youve been Bamboozled! Youre gonna be a terrible mother! (Rachel stares at him agape.) Ive lost sight of why were doing this! (Rachel gets up and walks away.)
Joey: All right! Just hurry up!
Ross: I picked up the divorce papers. Uh, Ive already signed everything and I put little Xs where you need to sign.
[Chandler can't find his money in the pocket. In the meantime, another couple shows up, and Chandler turns away to look for his money]
Jason: I was passin by and I saw that you were playing tonight, its kinda cool seeing you up there. (kisses her)
Ross: Oh, I've got to go pick up Ben, we've got a play date this afternoon.
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
Chandler: So when you said, "Get up early," did you mean 1986?
Wayne: C.H.E.E.S.E. is right here. (He puts on his headset, picks up the controller, and wheels C.H.E.E.S.E. in. C.H.E.E.S.E. is just a plain old robot on tracks; he kinda looks like No. 5 in the movie Short Circuit.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ryan is walks up to the door and knocks.]
RACHEL: And then, I don't know, I mean you'd pull me really close to you so that, so that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty and uh, and blurry, and then it's just happening.
Phoebe: Regular Celery! (Starts to write that on her list) Oh, I already have that. (She gets up and heads for her room)
Mr. Treeger:: No! Youre clogging up the chute that I spent a half-hour unclogging!
Ross: Oh, it's all over everything. Why? Why me? (looks up)