words in movies
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
The Waiter: Cant hear you!
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
The Waiter: You found that handle, did ya?
The Waiter: Well thats not true.
The Waiter: No.
The Waiter: No, its really good.
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Waiter: Estrangement (?).
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
Waiter: Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable.
WAITER: Are we ready to order?
Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
Waiter in Drag: (To Chandler) Hm-mmm?
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down)
Waiter: Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
Joey: (stopping the waiter) Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do!
Waiter: I�ll just wait to put your order in.
Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn�t worry, they shan�t be long.
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
WAITER: You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss?
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
WAITER: Anything else?
WAITER: And for you?
WAITER: So, would you like any dessert?
WAITER: Do I dare ask?
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
[The waiter comes to the table.]
WAITER: And for the gentleman?
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Waiter: Just get out of here, okay?
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
Sarah: (tasting hers) Oh my God! (Looks at the waiter and then to Joey)
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
WAITER: Can I get you something from the bar?
Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
Rachel: (Gasps) That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
Waiter No. 2: God, youre gonna be here all night!
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
Customer: Hey, waiter.
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
The Waiter: Okay.
The Waiter: (To Joey) And for you sir?
The Waiter: Hey!
The Waiter: Are you guys ready?
Waiter: Champagne?
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
Kristen: You said the waiter ate my crab cake.
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
The Waiter: (returning) Any progress?
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Waiter: (interrupting) Your 74 Lafite sir.
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
Waiter: Yeah.
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Waiter No. 2: Is this your table?
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Waiter: Er�does not.
Waiter: Hello.
Waiter: How was everything, sir?
Waiter: I�ll give you another minute.
Waiter: Oh, they�re both exclus�
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
(The waiter leaves.)
Waiter: What?
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.