words in movies
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
Waiter No. 2: Is this your table?
Waiter: Yeah.
Waiter No. 2: God, youre gonna be here all night!
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
WAITER: You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss?
WAITER: Anything else?
WAITER: And for you?
WAITER: So, would you like any dessert?
WAITER: Do I dare ask?
[The waiter comes to the table.]
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
WAITER: And for the gentleman?
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
Waiter: Just get out of here, okay?
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
The Waiter: Cant hear you!
The Waiter: No.
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
WAITER: Can I get you something from the bar?
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!
Sarah: (tasting hers) Oh my God! (Looks at the waiter and then to Joey)
The Waiter: You found that handle, did ya?
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
Rachel: (Gasps) That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
Customer: Hey, waiter.
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
The Waiter: Okay.
The Waiter: (To Joey) And for you sir?
The Waiter: Are you guys ready?
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
The Waiter: Hey!
The Waiter: (returning) Any progress?
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
Kristen: You said the waiter ate my crab cake.
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Waiter: Champagne?
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
Waiter: (interrupting) Your 74 Lafite sir.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Waiter: Er�does not.
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Waiter: Hello.
Waiter: How was everything, sir?
Waiter: I�ll give you another minute.
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Waiter: Oh, they�re both exclus�
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
(The waiter leaves.)
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
Waiter: Ooh...
Waiter: What?
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
The Waiter: Its uh, its already been roasted.
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
Waiter: Well, I hope, you got some room left.
Joey: Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Yknow what Pheebs?
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?