words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
The Waiter: Well thats not true.
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
WAITER: You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss?
WAITER: Anything else?
WAITER: And for you?
WAITER: So, would you like any dessert?
WAITER: Do I dare ask?
[The waiter comes to the table.]
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
WAITER: And for the gentleman?
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
Waiter: Just get out of here, okay?
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
The Waiter: Cant hear you!
The Waiter: No.
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
The Waiter: You found that handle, did ya?
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!
WAITER: Can I get you something from the bar?
Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
Sarah: (tasting hers) Oh my God! (Looks at the waiter and then to Joey)
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
Rachel: (Gasps) That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
Waiter No. 2: God, youre gonna be here all night!
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
Customer: Hey, waiter.
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
The Waiter: Hey!
The Waiter: Okay.
The Waiter: (To Joey) And for you sir?
The Waiter: Are you guys ready?
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
The Waiter: (returning) Any progress?
Kristen: You said the waiter ate my crab cake.
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Waiter: (interrupting) Your 74 Lafite sir.
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!
Waiter: Champagne?
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
Waiter No. 2: Is this your table?
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Waiter: Yeah.
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Waiter: Hello.
Waiter: Oh, they�re both exclus�
Waiter: I�ll give you another minute.
Waiter: Er�does not.
Waiter: How was everything, sir?
(The waiter leaves.)
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
Waiter: Ooh...
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
Waiter: What?
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
Joey: Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Yknow what Pheebs?
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
The Waiter: Its uh, its already been roasted.
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.
Waiter: Well, I hope, you got some room left.
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?