words in movies
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
WAITER: And for the gentleman?
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Waiter: Just get out of here, okay?
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
The Waiter: Cant hear you!
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
The Waiter: No.
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!
Sarah: (tasting hers) Oh my God! (Looks at the waiter and then to Joey)
Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
WAITER: Can I get you something from the bar?
Rachel: (Gasps) That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?
The Waiter: You found that handle, did ya?
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
Waiter No. 2: God, youre gonna be here all night!
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
The Waiter: (returning) Any progress?
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
Customer: Hey, waiter.
The Waiter: Hey!
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
The Waiter: Okay.
The Waiter: (To Joey) And for you sir?
The Waiter: Are you guys ready?
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
Kristen: You said the waiter ate my crab cake.
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Waiter: (interrupting) Your 74 Lafite sir.
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Waiter: Yeah.
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
Waiter No. 2: Is this your table?
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!
Waiter: Champagne?
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Waiter: Er�does not.
Waiter: Hello.
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Waiter: How was everything, sir?
Waiter: I�ll give you another minute.
Waiter: Oh, they�re both exclus�
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
(The waiter leaves.)
Waiter: What?
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
Waiter: Ooh...
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
The Waiter: Its uh, its already been roasted.
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
Joey: Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Yknow what Pheebs?
Waiter: Well, I hope, you got some room left.
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?