words in movies
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
The Waiter: Cant hear you!
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!
The Waiter: No.
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
WAITER: Can I get you something from the bar?
Sarah: (tasting hers) Oh my God! (Looks at the waiter and then to Joey)
Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
The Waiter: You found that handle, did ya?
Rachel: (Gasps) That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
Waiter No. 2: God, youre gonna be here all night!
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Customer: Hey, waiter.
The Waiter: Okay.
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
The Waiter: (To Joey) And for you sir?
The Waiter: Are you guys ready?
The Waiter: Hey!
The Waiter: (returning) Any progress?
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
Kristen: You said the waiter ate my crab cake.
Waiter: Champagne?
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Waiter: (interrupting) Your 74 Lafite sir.
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
Waiter No. 2: Is this your table?
Waiter: Yeah.
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Waiter: Hello.
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Waiter: I�ll give you another minute.
Waiter: Er�does not.
Waiter: How was everything, sir?
(The waiter leaves.)
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Waiter: Oh, they�re both exclus�
Waiter: What?
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
Waiter: Ooh...
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
The Waiter: Its uh, its already been roasted.
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
Waiter: Well, I hope, you got some room left.
Joey: Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Yknow what Pheebs?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
Waiter: Estrangement (?).
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
WAITER: Are we ready to order?