words in movies
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down)
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.
Sarah: (tasting hers) Oh my God! (Looks at the waiter and then to Joey)
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!
Waiter: Champagne?
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
Waiter: (interrupting) Your 74 Lafite sir.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
Waiter: Hello.
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Waiter: Yeah.
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
Waiter No. 2: Is this your table?
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Waiter: Er�does not.
Waiter: I�ll give you another minute.
(The waiter leaves.)
Waiter: How was everything, sir?
Waiter: Oh, they�re both exclus�
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
Waiter: Ooh...
Waiter: What?
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
The Waiter: Its uh, its already been roasted.
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
Waiter: Well, I hope, you got some room left.
Joey: Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Yknow what Pheebs?
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
The Waiter: No, its really good.
Waiter: Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable.
Waiter in Drag: (To Chandler) Hm-mmm?
Waiter: Estrangement (?).
WAITER: Are we ready to order?
Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
Waiter: Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
Waiter: I�ll just wait to put your order in.
Joey: (stopping the waiter) Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do!
Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn�t worry, they shan�t be long.
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
The Waiter: Well thats not true.
WAITER: So, would you like any dessert?
WAITER: You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss?
WAITER: Anything else?
WAITER: And for you?
[The waiter comes to the table.]
WAITER: Do I dare ask?
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
WAITER: And for the gentleman?
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
Waiter: Just get out of here, okay?
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
The Waiter: No.
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
The Waiter: Cant hear you!
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!