words in movies
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
The Waiter: Hey!
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
The Waiter: Okay.
The Waiter: (To Joey) And for you sir?
The Waiter: Are you guys ready?
The Waiter: (returning) Any progress?
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Kristen: You said the waiter ate my crab cake.
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Waiter: Champagne?
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Waiter: (interrupting) Your 74 Lafite sir.
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Waiter: Yeah.
Waiter No. 2: Is this your table?
Waiter: Er�does not.
Waiter: I�ll give you another minute.
Waiter: How was everything, sir?
Waiter: Oh, they�re both exclus�
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Waiter: Hello.
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
(The waiter leaves.)
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
Waiter: Ooh...
Waiter: What?
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
The Waiter: Its uh, its already been roasted.
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.
Waiter: Well, I hope, you got some room left.
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
Joey: Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Yknow what Pheebs?
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
Waiter: Estrangement (?).
Waiter: Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable.
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
The Waiter: No, its really good.
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down)
Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
Waiter: Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
WAITER: Are we ready to order?
Waiter in Drag: (To Chandler) Hm-mmm?
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
Waiter: I�ll just wait to put your order in.
Joey: (stopping the waiter) Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do!
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn�t worry, they shan�t be long.
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
The Waiter: Well thats not true.
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
WAITER: And for the gentleman?
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
WAITER: You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss?
WAITER: So, would you like any dessert?
[The waiter comes to the table.]
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
WAITER: Anything else?
WAITER: And for you?
WAITER: Do I dare ask?