words in movies
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
The Waiter: Hey!
The Waiter: Are you guys ready?
The Waiter: Okay.
The Waiter: (To Joey) And for you sir?
The Waiter: Its uh, its already been roasted.
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
Joey: Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Yknow what Pheebs?
The Waiter: (returning) Any progress?
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
Customer: Hey, waiter.
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
Kristen: You said the waiter ate my crab cake.
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Waiter: Champagne?
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
Waiter: (interrupting) Your 74 Lafite sir.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Waiter: Yeah.
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
Waiter No. 2: Is this your table?
Waiter: Er�does not.
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Waiter: Hello.
Waiter: How was everything, sir?
Waiter: I�ll give you another minute.
Waiter: Oh, they�re both exclus�
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
(The waiter leaves.)
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
Waiter: Ooh...
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Waiter: What?
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
Waiter: Well, I hope, you got some room left.
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
The Waiter: No, its really good.
Waiter: Estrangement (?).
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
WAITER: Are we ready to order?
Waiter: Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable.
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down)
Waiter in Drag: (To Chandler) Hm-mmm?
Waiter: Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
Joey: (stopping the waiter) Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do!
Waiter: I�ll just wait to put your order in.
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn�t worry, they shan�t be long.
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
WAITER: So, would you like any dessert?
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
WAITER: Anything else?
WAITER: And for you?
The Waiter: Well thats not true.
WAITER: You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss?
WAITER: Do I dare ask?
[The waiter comes to the table.]
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
WAITER: And for the gentleman?
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)